大门奖（2023）

Okay, yes, but how does the machine know that?
很明显是呃钱
Well, it's clearly a scam.
你只听到有大好潜能的人讲那部机
You're only hearing about it from people who got a good life potential.
无人会讲出他张卡写住
Ah. - Nobody's gonna tell you if they got
“鹿原镇第三废人”
"Third Best Garbageperson in Deerfield."
你拿到这张卡,对吧?
Oh. That's what you got, isn't it?
你呢?
What about you?
你觉得自己有何人生潜能?
What do you think your life potential would be?
恭喜贺喜,今天是你的大日子
[staff members] ♪ Happy, happy celebration It's your special day ♪
我们很高兴你今日光临,还带上你的家人
♪ We're so glad you came And brought your family today ♪
在佐治奥意大利餐厅兼体育中心
♪ At Giorgio's Italian Restaurant And sports center ♪
你永远都会心情灿烂
♪ You'll always be In the happiest mood ♪
因我们献上无限乐趣与美食
♪ 'Cause we bring endless fun And endless foods ♪
好嘢
Yay! - Mmm.
真是窝心...
Oh, that was really nice. That was really ni--
但是似乎不是全体员工都有唱
It just-- It didn't feel like the entire staff was singing.
我明白,对,好似是这一边
I understand that, yeah. It feels like this little section here.
这里有人逃避眼神接触 - 很静
This section avoiding eye contact. - So quiet.
你们为何要来这里?
Why did you have to come here?
是为了“无限乐趣
Oh, we came for the ''endless fun
与无限美食” - 无限美食
and the endless foods.'' - Endless foods.
好吧,各位,继续开工吧
All right. Back to work, people.
她不知道我们是她的父母
Oh, she doesn't know that we're her parents.
你不认得自己爸妈
Oh, you don't recognize it's your mum and your dad.
你的同住家人
From your house!
你是我们生的 - 对啊,川娜
We made you! - Yeah! Trina!
我们爱你
We love you!
唏...我可以说甚麽? - 唏
Hey, hey, hey. What can I say? - Hey!
现在好帮手难求
It's hard to find good help these days.
肯定跟她的基因有关
Must be something in her genes,
我知道不是卡珊遗传给她 所以肯定是这位人兄
and I know it's not coming from Cass, so I'm looking over here!
好吧,佐治奥
Okay, Giorgio.
讲笑而已...
I'm just kidding. I'm kidding.
我们在玩,玩玩而已
We're having fun. We're having a little bit of fun.
这个后生女很有潜质
Kid's got potential.
讲开又讲,你们有无玩过闪蝶机?
Speaking of, you two tried this MORPHO machine?
天啊 - 我们正在讨论它
Oh, my God. - Oh, we were just talking about that.
想知道我抽到甚麽卡吗?
You wanna know what I got?
“巨星”
''Superstar.''
令人毛管戙吧?
Oh. - Is that spooky or what?
我真的毛管戙
I was legitimately spooked. - Mmm.
超毛管戙 - 很可怕
Mmm. That's spooky as shit. - That is scary.
不知你们是否记得
I don't know if you two remember,
我是首个意裔美籍守门员
but I was the first Italian-American goalie
加入纽约游骑兵队
in New York Rangers history.
而且是最年轻
And the youngest.
我们怎会忘记? - 餐牌有写啊
How would we not remember that? - It's printed on the menu.
当时我潜能爆棚
I was brimming with potential
(佐治奥的故事,最巨额保险赔偿)
until I suffered a permanent injury to my catching hand
直至我的接球手永久伤残
因为我硬举二百几公斤 - 对...我们知道这件事
while I was dead-lifting over 465 pounds. - Yeah, yeah, we know the story.
但你当时举起了几重? - 但若没有那件事
How much were you lifting though? - But if it wasn't for that, I guess,
我恐怕不会有这地方... - 唏
I wouldn't have this place... - Hey.
它也是我的毕生梦想
...which is also a lifelong dream.
对,所以我觉得那部恐怖机器可以证明
Yeah, so, I guess, as that spooky machine can attest,
“巨星”可以有很多意思,德爷
''Superstar'' can mean a lot of different things, Big D.
德斯提才不会试
Dusty won't try it.
真的吗?
Really?
甚麽?老友,为甚麽?
What? Why not, bro?
你没有一直想做的事吗?
You don't have something you always wanted to be?
某些秘密理想或才华?
Some secret ambition or talent?
噢,德斯提吹口哨很叻
Ooh. Dusty is a really good whistler.
还有其他秘密才华
Among other secret talents.
口哨能手,哗
A good whistler. Wow.
卡珊真幸运
Cass is a lucky woman.
而老友你真幸运,我自高中就这样说了
And you, my friend, are a very lucky man. I've been saying this since high school.
最终娶到她?
To end up with this one?
或者那就是你的人生潜能 “世上最幸运的男人”
Maybe that's your life potential, ''World's Luckiest Man.''
你觉得呢? - 对
What do you think? - Uh. Yeah.
我觉得自己再无所求了
I think I have everything I ever wanted.
或者是你的慾望不够
Maybe you didn't want enough.
两位,祝你们今晚愉快
Enjoy your night, you two.
喂,去玩玩游戏机吧 - 好
Hey, play some of the games, okay? - Mm-hmm.
加油啊,老公,好嘢 - 对...每次都有
Get it now, babe. Whoo! - Yeah, yeah. Every time.
弊,小心
Shit! Watch out. - Oh!
是技巧问题,你觉得热? - 我要除衫
I think it's the form. You hot? - I need to let loose here.
对,很侷促 - 对...除衫吧,老公
Yeah, it's too restrictive. - Yeah, yeah. Let loose, babe.
老公
Oh! - Oh, babe!
我没事 - 零分
No, I'm all right. - Aw. Zero points.
可恶 - 噢
Fuck. - Ooh!
你赢得这麽少? - 对
Is that-- Is this all you got? - Yes.
对,你们的游戏机可能故障
Yeah. I think there might have been something wrong with your machines.
它坏了... - 肯定是
It's broken. It was broken. - Definitely.
恭喜,你赢了一支铅笔
Congratulations. You won a pencil.
谢谢
Thank you. -
我受宠若惊
I feel really special.
老实讲,我可能不只得一项秘密才华
You know, maybe I've got more than one hidden talent.
你有想过吗?
You ever thought about that?
想过几次吧
[A couple times, I've thought about it.
我呢?
Mmm. - What about me?
你?你超正
Oh, you? You were amazing.
是你遇过最正吗?
Best you've ever had?
我只有过你一个,所以没错
You're the only one I've ever had. So, yes.
德斯提
Dusty?
可以再跟我做♥爱♥吗?
You think you can fuck me again?
你说甚麽?
What was that?
可以再跟我做♥爱♥吗?
You think you can fuck me again?
当然可以
Definitely I can.
是吗? - 对
Yeah? Hmm. - Yeah.
你想我像刚才那样再来一次?
You-- You want me to... ...You mean like before, but just again?
对
Yeah. - Oh.
有新意 - 没错
That's new. - Uh-huh.
你指即刻?
You mean, like, right now?
若你可以的话
I mean, if you can.
我当然可以,好啊
I definitely can, yeah.
是吗? - 对,我会满足你,老婆
Yeah? - Yeah. I can get that done for you, baby.
好吧,我帮你 - 好啊...
Okay. I got you. - Yeah. Yeah.
放鬆,老公
Just relax, baby. - Mmm.
嗯
Mm-hmm.
你知道吗?我其实不知道能否即刻再来
You know what, I actually don't know if I can right this minute.
好吧 - 对不起,但是...
Oh. Okay. - I'm sorry. It's just--
我饮了两杯菠萝椰子酒 - 不紧要
I had that second piña colada. - It's okay.
我还以为适合在睡前饮
And part of me thought it might have been a nightcap.
不紧要,我讲笑而已
It's okay. I was just kidding.
对,因为我们刚做完爱
Yeah, 'cause we just did it.
卡珊
Cass?
你识吹口哨?
You can whistle?
对
Yeah.
甚麽鬼?
What the fuck?
(搜寻,屁♥股♥蓝点成因)
你发短讯给谁?
Who you texting?
我不是发短讯
Oh. No, I wasn't-- I wasn't.
我只是等食早餐
I was just, uh, waiting for breakfast.
不好意思,无班戟了
Sorry. No more pancakes.
你的生日过了
Your special day is over.
我又不是加入飞车党
It's not like I'ma join a biker gang,
你知道吗?但我话你知
you know? But let me tell you something.
我自小一直想开电单车
Ever since I was a little girl, I always wanted to ride.
所以可能是真的
So if nothing else,
或者这部机让我知道我不是疯了
maybe this machine is letting me know that maybe I wasn't so crazy.
又或者我是疯的
Or maybe I am!
我刚花光退休基金 买♥♥了架全新的哈利电单车