大门奖（2023）

(登凳,儿童魔术表演)
(任何场合皆宜的奇技)
(第57招,层叠啤牌戏法)
嗨,庄逊先生,你还在营业吗?
Hey, Mr. Johnson. Are you still open?
你就是那个想用螺丝批拆开部机的后生仔
You're the kid that tried to crack open the machine with a screwdriver.
是,我叫辛达,原来你记得我
Yeah, I'm Xander. I didn't know if you'd remember me.
我从闪蝶机抽到“香口胶”
Uh, I got "Gum" from the MORPHO.
你还替我影相,但没贴在牆上
And you took my photo, but then you never put it on your wall. [chuckles]
把剑好有型啊,庄逊先生
Whoa. Sweet sword, Mr. Johnson.
(最佳潜能)
没错
Yeah.
我向佐治奥买♥♥的
I bought it off Giorgio,
打算用来玩锯人戏法,但是...
thinking I could maybe use it to saw people in half, but, um...
对了,你今晚有重大的魔术表演
Oh, right. You had your big magic show tonight.
对不起,我也想来,但要开工
Sorry. [chuckles] I wanted to come, but I was working.
你没错过甚麽好戏,大部分表演都不成功
Well, you didn't miss much. Most of my tricks didn't work.
我开始怀疑自己根本无魔术天分
I'm starting to think I might not be a magician after all.
它或者会令你开心起来
Maybe this will cheer you up.
我发现它时,它的天线坏了
The antenna was busted when I found it,
但我找到维修方法
but I figured out how to fix it.
知道我用了甚麽吗?
You know what I used?
是香口胶
Gum.
你觉得这会令我开心起来?
You thought this would cheer me up?
我以为你会想要它,用来接驳至另一半
Well, I thought you might want it, to go with the other one.
另一半是甚麽? - 另一部机
The other what? - The other machine.
(闪蝶,探索你的人生潜能)
何以见得它们可连接起来? - 打开看看吧
What makes you think this goes with that? - Look inside.Ta-da!
《天命票务机》
你在想甚麽?
What are you thinking about?
是你妈妈怎样背叛你
Are you thinking about how your mother betrayed you
想令全镇排斥你吗?
and tried to turn the whole town against you?
没错 - 对
Yeah. - Yeah.
对,我早知道你会想这件事
Yeah, that's what I thought you might be thinking about.
你在想甚麽? - 我也在想这件事,没错
What are you thinking about? - I'm thinking about that too, yeah.
而且替你深深不忿
And just feeling utterly enraged on your behalf.
讲真,经此一役,我要跟你妈妈割席
Uh, see, I think after this, I'm gonna have to cut your mother off.
不再请她来食饭,或者完全不跟她说话
Not have her around for dinner or talk to her at all anymore, maybe.
你愿意为我那样做吗?
You'd do that for me?
要作出很大的牺牲
It would be a great sacrifice...
但我愿意一试
...but I'd be willing to try.
我也在思考今晚的小小觉悟
I've also been thinking about this minor revelation that I had tonight.
当庄逊先生叫我上台
When Mr. Johnson had me up on stage... - Mm-hmm.
令我记起在哨城滑雪的感觉
...and was making me remember what it felt like to be skiing at Whistler,
我的内心起了变化
it was like something shifted inside me.
然后呢?到底是甚麽意思?
So? What does that mean?
你想回去哨城吗?
You wanna go back to Whistler?
不想,我不知是甚麽意思
No. I don't know what it means.
你抽到“贵族”时,你觉得是甚麽意思?
What did it mean to you when you got "Royalty"?
你居然现在问我?
You wanna ask me now?
没错,我现在问你
I am. I'm asking you now,
的确很夜了,但我想知
which I know is very late, but I do wanna know.
我只是觉得自己有价值之类
I think I just felt like I had some value or something.
你以前不觉得自己有价值吗?
You didn't feel like you had any value?
不,我觉得啊
N-No. No, I did.
我的内心也起了变化
Something shifted in me too,
我觉得或者我值得希望...
and I felt like maybe it was okay to wanna be...
被重视
seen.
真是太可悲了,但是...
It's-- That's pathetic, but--
不,一点都不可悲
No. No, that's not pathetic.
当然不是,唏,你想知甚麽才可悲吗? 不如谈谈佐治奥吧
It's not. Hey, you wanna talk pathetic? Let's talk about Giorgio, huh?
戴住巨型假髮装模作样 十足十男优尊达拉华达
Swanning around in his big wig like a porno John Travolta,
塞不明物体入底裤
stuffing God-knows-what down his underpants.
等等,佐治奥戴假髮?
Wait. Giorgio wears a wig?
是啊,我一直很想告诉你
Yes! I've been dying to tell you...
但最近有太多事发生了
...but so much other stuff has been happening.
提提你们,我还在隔篱房♥睡觉 你们嘈到拆天
Just, um, FYI, I still sleep next door. You guys literally couldn't be any louder.
对不起,我们会安静
Sorry, sweetie. We'll shut up.
对,我们刚在谈觉悟,乖女
Yeah, we were just talking revelations, honey.
觉悟到现在是凌晨2点吗?
Is your revelation that it's 2:00 a.m.?
不,我刚才告诉你妈妈
No, no. No, I was just saying to your mom
或者凡事不能只看表面
that maybe everything is not quite as it seems.
没错,真有见地
Whoa. Yeah, that's deep.
算吧,我改变主意了 其实我庆幸你们为此吵醒我
You know what? Yeah, I changed my mind. I'm actually glad you woke me up for this.
不,听我讲,我想说的是
No, no, no. Listen, listen. What I'm saying is,
假如“教师或口哨音乐家”是另有含意呢?
what if "Teacher/Whistler" doesn't really mean "Teacher/Whistler"?
就如“贵族”并非指皇室贵族
Mmm.Just like "Royalty" doesn't literally mean "Royalty."
或者“陶匠”也不是“陶匠”的意思
Maybe "Potter" doesn't literally mean "Potter."
我不是抽到“陶匠”,是“骗子” 我相信原因是
I didn't get "Potter." I got "Liar," which I'm assuming had to do with the fact
在哥尔顿生前,我偷偷搭上他的孖生弟弟
that I was cheating on Kolton with his twin brother before he died
一直骗他和全世界
and lying to him about it and lying to everyone about it,
自此我一直跟积及拍拖和骗大家
and I've been seeing Jacob and lying to everyone about that ever since.
但若你们想到“骗子”有其他意思
But if you have a different interpretation of what "Liar" could mean,
我洗耳恭听
I would love to hear it.
我要仔细想想
I would have to have a think about that. - Mmm.
天啊
Oh, my God.
川娜,我很难过
Trina, I'm-- I'm so sorry.
为甚麽难过?
Why are you sorry?
因为...
Because--
因为你不敢坦白跟我们倾谈此事
I'm sorry that you felt like you couldn't come and talk to us about this.
我真心觉得 “大镬,我们真的错得很离谱”
I just feel like, "Oh, fuck. We really-- We really dropped the ball on this."
不紧要,我没事
Mm-hmm. - It's okay. I'm, like, fine.
老实讲,可能不是时候这样说
You know, I don't know if now is the right time,
但我其实一直觉得你跟积及较合衬
but I've-- I've always thought that Jacob was a better fit for you, as it happens.
我觉得现在不是时候
I-- I'd say that now-- now's not the right time to say that.
我同意
I would agree.
(佐治奥餐厅)
伊丝镇长声称:“今日是鹿原镇的新开始”
"This is a new day in Deerfield," Mayor Izzy proclaimed
同时一直阴笑地望住我
while fixing my gaze with a roguish smile.
我再呷一口印度人参茶,等她继续讲下去
I took another sip of my ashwagandha tea as I waited for her to continue.
她急促地说 “似乎不相信闪蝶的沉默大多数人
"Apparently," she sputtered, "the silent majority of MORPHO Mistrusters
强烈要求重回正轨”
has called for a return to normalcy..."
无人有这个诉求
Nobody is calling for that.
所以她觉得别无他选
"...which is why she feels she has no other choice
只能够继续当镇长
but to continue on as mayor
继续筹备本年度的鹿节
and proceed with preparations for this year's Deerfest.
《鹿原文摘》奈塔妮佩尔报导
Natalie Pearl, Deerfield Digest."
对,但是... - 谢谢
Yeah, but.. - Thank you.
我情愿吃佐治奥的假髮 也不想参加今年的鹿节
...I would rather eat Giorgio's wig than attend this year's Deerfest.
你可以刊登我的这个回应
And you can print that as my response.
好吧,我不知你讲真定讲笑 但若佐治奥真的戴假髮
Okay, I don't know if you're joking, but if Giorgio has a wig,
我一定会刊登,因为是大新闻
I will print that because that's a huge story.
另外,你今年要去鹿节,我们年年都去
And secondly, yes, you will go to Deerfest. We always go.
无论我去到边,全世界都望住我
I can't go anywhere without people looking at me
当我是骗子或诈骗高手
like I'm some kind of fraud or scam artist,
我绝对不会让伊丝趁机奚落我
and I refuse to let Izzy rub that in my face.
你知道她会去的,对吧?
Well, you know she's going to, right? - [scoffs]
大多数人仍相信闪蝶机,而且知道
Most people still believe in the machine, and they know
你跟此事无关
you had nothing to do with it.
不好意思,卡珊
Excuse me. Cass?
(滚石巨星)
听说你会退回卫衣的款项
I heard that you're giving people money back for their sweatshirts.
对,雪娜,任何与闪蝶有关的东西
Yes, Sheila. Anything that is MORPHO-related
若大家想退回都可以...
that people wanna give back, they--
你要即场除衫?
Whoa. Are you taking that off right now? - Ooh.
里面有打底吗? - 没有
Do you have something on under there? - No.
那麽,你为何除衫?
So, what is the play here?
况且这应该不是你卖♥♥的卫衣
Also, I don't think that's one of your sweatshirts.
字体错了,而且在脱落
The letters are all wrong, and they're peeling.
对,而且你应该没抽到“滚石巨星”,雪娜
Yeah, and I don't even think you got "Rockstar," Sheila.
你早在那部机出现前就开始绘石
You were painting rocks way before the machine arrived.
好吧,雪娜,让我的老友享受晚餐吧
Okay, Sheila, let my friends enjoy their dinner.
(佐治奥餐厅)
雪娜,有无搞... - 拜,雪娜
Uh-- Sheila! What the-- - Bye, Sheila.
既然这麽人齐,我想趁机会
Can I take the opportunity, with all of you here,
再向你们道歉