大门奖（2023）

just to say sorry again
我曾经尝试勾引卡珊,拆散你们的家庭
about trying to win Cass's heart and break up your famiglia?
当然可以 - 我们已谈过了
Yeah, you can. - We've talked about it.
等等,发生甚麽事? - 我当时情绪不稳定
Wait a minute. What happened? - I was in a really weird place.
对,你在贡多拉船上想搞我妈妈
Yeah, you were on a gondola trying to fuck my mom.
但我应该终于差不多准备好 敞开心扉寻找新恋情
But I think I'm finally almost ready to open my heart up to new adventures.
我还期望你有更明确的结论
That's not as conclusive as I'd like it to be.
最近有一个人对我启迪良多
I've been getting a lot of guidance from someone
其实我想介绍给你们认识
that I would love for you to meet, actually.
卡利...过来吧
Cary. Cary, get over here.
各位,晚上好
Buona sera, everyone.
爷爷 - 哈囉,爸爸
Grandpa! - [chuckles] Hello, Dad.
我想起了,阿德
Oh! Oh, that's right, D.
我差点忘了卡利是你♥爸♥ - 是吗?
I almost forgot Cary's also your dad. - Did you?
自从为卡珊的筹款活动合作拍片后
Ever since we collabed on that video for Cass's fundraiser,
我一直邀请卡利B为我的商品做模特儿
I've been having Care Bear over here model some of my merch
因为他大隻到癫
with his insanely jacked body.
佐治奥,过奖了,我不是大隻到癫
Ah, Giorgio, come on. I'm not insanely jacked.
某些部位增磅而已
I just move a little weight around, that's all.
不,你的人生哲理令我智慧增长,卡先生
Nah, you've been moving me with your wisdom of life, Mr. C.
他不是姓卡
That's not his name.
可以这样说,大隻卡现在是我的男模范
I guess you could say that Big C has become a bit of a male model for me
在很多方面都是
in my life in more ways than one. - [breathes deeply]
男模范?爸爸,有点似你和“哨”字的渊源
Male model? Dad, that's kind of like you and "Whistler."
看到吧?的确有不同意思
See? Like, they mean different things. - Mmm.
好吧,爸爸,你跟我们的佐治奥 分享了甚麽人生哲理?
Okay. So, what pearls of wisdom have you shared with our Giorgio, Dad?
这个嘛,跟教导我们家德斯的一样
Oh, well... [stammers] ...nothing I haven't tried to instill in our Dust.
面对恐惧,别满脑子只有“假如”
Face your fear. Don't dwell in the "what-ifs."
例如“假如大家嘲笑我 一把年纪妄想做男模呢?”
You know, "What if people laugh at me for trying to be a male model at my age?"
“假如我失去我的会计师行呢?”
"What if I lose my accounting firm?"
或者“假如我老婆在欧洲另结新欢 永远不会回来呢?”
Or, "What if my wife meets another man in Europe and never comes back?"
“假如全镇都憎我呢?”
[chuckles] - "What if the whole town hates me?"
没错,你要面对恐惧
Yeah. You gotta face your fear.
否则永远不会知道无恐惧会怎样
Otherwise, you'll never know what's on the other side of it.
鹿原镇鹿蹄队早晨
[announcer on PA] Good morning, Deerfield Hooves.
“气象学家”阿苏为大家报告是日天气
This is Axel the "Meteorologist" with your daily weather report.
我知有些人不关心天气
I know some of you might not pay attention to this,
视乎你对闪蝶争议有何想法吧
depending on how you feel about the whole MORPHO controversy.
但关心的人请注意
But for those of you who do,
一股冷锋从西北面逼近
there's a cold front coming in from the northwest.
高气压加上和暖东风,代表风暴将至
High pressure mixing with warm winds from the east means a storm's coming.
是大风暴
A serious storm,
可能会影响今晚鹿节的开幕
which could really put a damper on the opening of Deerfest tonight,
所以记得带遮,记...
so make sure you pack your umbrellas. Make--
你搞甚麽鬼?
What are you doing?
积及和我在拍拖
Jacob and I are dating.
我们拍拖很久了 早在哥尔顿生前开始,一直都是
We've been dating for a really long time, even before Kolton died and ever since.
我们曾经短暂分手,现在复合了
I mean, we did break up for a bit, and now we're back together.
但重点是我们在拍拖,而且不想再保密
But the point is that we're dating, and we don't wanna keep it a secret.
发生甚麽事?你不能抢咪向全校发噏疯
What the hell is going on in here? You just can't jump on the PA!
我知道,对不起 但我在尝试放胆去做一件事
I know, and I'm sorry, but I'm trying to do something really brave.
我在面对自己的恐惧
I'm facing my fear.
好吧,那麽继续吧
Okay. Well, get on with it, then.
顺带一提,我是川娜,川娜哈拔
This is Trina, by the way. Trina Hubbard.
或者我应该一早讲出来 即使现在全世界都憎我也不紧要
I probably should've said that before, and it's okay if you all hate me now.
但希望你们不会憎积及
Although, I'd really be much happier if you didn't hate Jacob
因为他为人很好
because he's a very good boy.
而且我们唯一辜负的人是哥尔顿
And the only person we really owe an apology to is Kolton,
但他不在了
but he's not here,
即是他不能憎我们
which means he can't hate us
而且会慢慢放低仇恨 然后原谅我们,希望如此吧
and hate us less over time and then forgive us, hopefully,
实在太不幸了
which really fucking sucks,
因为我不想永远做“骗子”
because I don't want to be a "Liar" forever.
还有,初级爵士乐队放学后开会
Also, there is a meeting of the junior jazz band after school
在206号♥房♥
in Room 206.
根据这张纸,他们今晚会在鹿节表演
According to this piece of paper, they are performing at Deerfest tonight
在艺术手作帐幕,记得去捧场
in the arts-and-crafts tent, so check 'em out.
对,你真是英雄啊,老友
Yeah, some hero, man.
我从没说过自己是英雄
I never said I was a hero.
你早应该出句声,你明知我锺意你
You should've said something. You knew that I liked you.
你令我以为自己有甚麽不好
And you made me feel like there was something wrong with me.
没错,因为关你事啊,莎凡娜
Yeah, because this is about you, Savannah.
真不敢相信川娜会这样做
I can't believe Trina would do this.
她真是不知廉耻的婆娘
She's such a skanky little bitch.
喂,你才是不知廉耻的...
Hey, maybe you're the skanky little bia--
我不应那样说,对不起
[all murmuring] - I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry.
是我错,不紧要,人人都可以犯错
That was a mistake, and that's okay. We are allowed to make mistakes.
川娜和积及错了,而且承担错误,所以...
Trina and Jacob just made a mistake, and they are owning that mistake, so...
是她承担错误
She's owning it.
甚麽?
Sorry?
多谢你提醒我
Thanks for the heads-up.
若我们可以事先倾倾就好了
It would have been really awesome to have talked about this earlier.
我们有倾过啊
We did talk about it.
我们都觉得分开很难受
We agreed that it sucked not being together.
你先叫我保密,然后跑去告诉我爸
First you told me not to say anything. Then you went and told my dad first.
然后告诉你的父母,现在轮到全校
Then you told your parents. Now you've told the entire school.
甚麽都是依你的意思去做,我无从参与
And it's just-- It's always on your terms, and I have no part in it at all.
不是这样的
That's not true.
他是我哥哥,你知道吗?
He was my brother, you know.
我知道 - 不好意思,你先告诉积及爸爸?
I know that. - I'm sorry. You told Jacob's dad first?
我无心的
I didn't mean to.
只是冲口而出
It just kind of came out
当晚你和妈妈在邮轮酒店玩三人性♥爱♥
that night that you and Mom were at the cruise thing having your threesome.
等等,我们
Hold on. We weren't--
没有三人性♥爱♥
No, it wasn't a threesome.
没有,只是很正常的夫妻浪漫之旅
No, uh-- We were on a normal, romantic, marital getaway
直至身体出现问题
until some bodily mishaps
和一些突发的情绪冲击
and some emotional surprises got in the way.
我早说过可以调剂婚姻的
I told you it would spice up your marriage.
你有用优♥惠♥券吗? - 当然有用
You use the coupon? - Course I used the coupon.
但我觉得不应该在学生面前讲
But I don't think any of that is appropriate in front of the students.
是你女儿提起的
Well, your daughter started this.
对
Yeah.
我很惊讶,你告诉阿布后才告诉我
I'm really surprised that you told Beau before me.
积及,我以为我们很投契,你知道吗?
And, Jacob, it feels like we had bonded, you know?
你早应该讲啊,当我们... - 抽大♥麻♥烟?
Could've mentioned it then when we were-- - Smoking weed?
当我们在商店讨论恋爱时
When we were talking about relationships at the store that time,
现在我才知我当时在教你
which I now realize was me giving you advice
怎样跟我个女上♥床♥
about how to get with my own daughter.
你跟学生抽大♥麻♥烟?
You were smoking weed with a student?
圣人都会犯错
People make mistakes.
这就是人性
It's called being human.
我们需要犯错,尤其是在年轻时
We need to make mistakes, especially when we're young.
我不是空谈的,这不是课堂
I'm not just saying this. This isn't a lecture.
若我要以爸爸的身份向你讲句话
If there was one thing that I could say to you as your dad,
并以“教师”的身份向你们讲句话,我会说
and to all of you as your "Teacher," it would be this:
不要害怕犯错
don't be afraid to make mistakes.
看看外面有很多成年人忽然间
Look at all the fully-grown people out there who have suddenly,
因为一部机
because of a machine,
认定自己不锺意本身份工
decided that they don't like what they do for a living,
或者不锺意他们的车房♥、伴侣或自己
or they don't like their garage or their partner or themselves.
老实讲,我也希望自己以前犯更多错
You know what? I wish I had made more mistakes.
真希望我以前更加放胆冒险
Wish I'd taken bigger swings.
我不知“闪蝶”是甚麽意思
I don't know what the MORPHO means,
但我知道它令很多人发现
but I do know that it has made a lot of people realize
他们想要改变,而且仍然可以改变
that they want change and that they can still change.
当你发现有此可能性,就不能回头
And once you see the potential of that, there's no going back.
我自知不想回头
Well, I know I don't wanna go back.
老实讲,我部哈利的换购价值不高
I mean, I wouldn't get much trade-in value on my Harley,
尤其是我炒车之后
especially after the accident.
我也不想觉得跟法里不是天生一对