救援高手（2013）

好吧 我觉得我们并没有必要讨论这些
Okay, this is something we really don't need to discuss, I believe.
好吧
Okay.
跟他说明过情况后 我便回到我的岗位开始工作
After I briefed him, I got in to my position and started working.
我喜欢站在门边 这样我能看见每一个进来的人
I like to stand by the door, so I can see everybody who's coming in,
并且监视可疑的人
and watch for any suspicious people.
我注意到那家店有一名女性雇员
I noticed that there was a female employee,
她是个亚洲人 差不多三十刚出头
uh, she was Asian, and in her-- in her early to mid 30s.
但是她并不能使我分心
But she was not a distraction,
因为她的胸部不够丰满
because she did not have large breasts.
然后过了大概有二十或三十分钟
Then, about 20 or 30 minutes later,
我听见门开了 然后一个顾客走了进来
I heard the door open, and I saw a customer walk in.
而且我注意到这位女性胸部很丰满
And I noticed it was a woman with large breasts.
如果那时有抢劫发生的话
If a robbery happened then,
我很可能会因为这位女性严重分神
I would proba--probably be so distracted by the woman,
以至于可能都不会注意到抢劫
that I would probably not even notice it.
当这位女性在商店里的时候
While the woman was in the store,
我不停地在想象所有我想跟她一起做的事
I just kept thinking about all the things I'd like to do with her.
比如怎么脱掉她的衣服啊
How I'd like to get naked with her
然后开始 呃 开始握住她的胸部
and start to, uh, start to hold her breasts,
然后揉搓它们 然后 呃 用我的手
and, uh, massage them. And then, um, to use my hands
尝试去轻轻摇晃它们
and try to uh, try to rock them.
然后 呃 揉搓它们
And, uh, massage them.
这真是太好看了 我真的很喜欢这款
That's super, super pretty. I really like that.
当我进入状态时 时间仿佛都停止了
Well, when I get into this state, time stands still
或者更准确来说时间都变慢了 呃
or it kinda like, slows down, uh, uh,
慢到一个几乎停止的状态
to a--to an almost-stopping point.
我的意思是 我还是有那么一丁点时间感
I mean, I have a little bit of a sense of time.
我知道时间在流逝
I know that time is moving,
但流逝得非常非常慢
but it's moving very, very slowly.
当她离开的时候 我替她开了门
When she left, I opened the door for her,
然后说 "再见 祝您今天愉快"
and said, "Good-bye, have a nice day."
谢谢光临 祝您今天愉快 – 你也是 谢谢
Thank you, have a good day. - You too, thank you.
这让我能在她离开的时候看她最后一眼
It allows me to get one last glance a--a--at her as she leaves.
我估摸着怎么也得有D或者双D
I think they were probably D or double D.
之后 在中间没有顾客的时候
After, when there was a break in the customers,
我认为我应该去我的雇主那里
I felt the need to go to my employer
向他解释一下我刚才的情况
and explain my situation to him.
呃 我不知道你有没有发现
Um, I don't know if you're aware of this,
但刚才有一位胸部丰满的年轻女人进来
but a little while ago, a young woman came in who had a very big chest
然后 呃 我没有办法不看她 所以我
and, um, I couldn't help but look at her, and I--
搞得我有一点分神 我不知道你是否
I got a little distracted, I don't know if you...
呃 我认为我们不应该老是提到这个事儿 Simon
Um, I don't know that this should be something that we keep bringing up, Simon.
我只是好奇为什么你要一直提起它
I'm just concerned why you keep bringing it up.
我不认为这是有必要讨论的事情
I don't think it's necessary to talk about it
只要你做好你的本职工作就行
as long as you can do your job.
好的 - 好吗
Okay. - Okay?
我发誓我不会再让自己分心了
Well, I promise I won't let myself get distracted again.
行吧 - 谢谢
Okay. - Okay.
我认为这次经历让我变得更好了
I think the experience changed me for the better
因为我意识到讨论这种事真的非常尴尬
because it helped me realize that it was pretty embarrassing to talk about that.
所以下回我也许就不会告诉我的老板
So, um, next time I probably won't tell my boss
在工作时因为胸部丰满的女性而分神了
about being distracted at work by women with large breasts.
呃 听着 整体拍得不错 很完整
Uh, uh listen. It's well shot, it's well put together.
周围有胸器你就无法♥正♥常工作这个主意是个很有趣的点
Um, the idea that you can't do your job with large breasts floating around is a funny hook.
没错
Yeah.
当然最大的缺点就是 呃 没有接纳它的受众
Uh, the biggest limitation, of course, is that there's nowhere to sell it.
嗯 我认为会有很多人
Well, I think that a lot of people--
并不仅仅是保安 很多男人
Not just security guards, a lot of men--
当他们看到这个的时候 他们可能会觉得自己没那么
When they watch this, they would probably feel a little less...
对 - 比起性变♥态♥ 这更大程度上是一件自然的事
Right. - like it was a perversion, and more of a natural thing,
你懂我意思吧 - 没错
You know? Yeah. - Right.
没错 所以我们是在人性化这件事 - 嗯哼
Right, so it's humanizing it. - Yeah.
以你们现在的形式
In your current form,
非常抱歉 我恐怕只好拒绝 恕难如意
I'm gonna have to say no, I'm sorry. It's a pass.
那到底是如意还是 – 不如意
And pass means that... - No.
好吧
Right.
没有把节目推销出去让我很懊恼
I was upset that we couldn't sell the show.
但是让Simon空欢喜了一场让我更难过
But I felt even worse that I let down Simon after getting his hopes up.
你难过吗 - 有一点点
Are you sad? - A little bit.
我真的非常希望他会喜欢我们节目
I really was hoping that he liked the show.
但Simon那天展现出了一种在常人身上极少出现的品质
But Simon showed a quality that day that you rarely see in people:
不屈不挠
perseverance.
我认为他可能有点脱离了 呃
He's probably a little bit-- a little bit out of touch
有一点与美国的主流观众脱节了
with the mainstream audience in America, I think.
我认为我们应该保留胸部的部分
I think we should keep the breasts part,
然后 呃 加进我穿着猫王戏服表演的片段
and maybe, uh, maybe also include me in my Elvis costume.
你有猫王的戏服吗 - 是啊
Do you have an Elvis costume? - Yes.
Simon不想放弃我们的节目
Simon didn't want to give up on our show.
即使很明显加入猫王模仿片段只会让情况更糟糕
And even though it was obvious that the Elvis costume would only make things worse,
但他高涨的精神让我明白
his spirit made me realize that
无论面临怎样的生活难题 Simon都会安然无恙
Simon would be fine no matter what life threw at him.
太棒了
That was great.
谢谢
Okay.
我是说 如果你问他在这些孩子中他更想成为谁
I mean, I think if you ask him who he would rather be of these children,
他肯定不会选看起来像婴儿的那个
he certainly is not gonna pick the one who looks like a baby.
或许这是因为圣诞老人刚告诉他
Well, maybe that's because Santa just told him
他会看起来像一个婴儿啊
he's gonna look like a baby though.