救援高手（2013）

但是无论 呃 嗡嗡去了什么地方
But when--wherever Buzz went,
它都不会再飞了
he's not flying anymore.
因为它将在泥土中安息
Because it's right there in the dirt.
谢谢 谢谢
Thank you. Thank you.
Nathan 你想来说两句吗
Nathan, would you like to say a few words?
再见 还有
Good-bye and...
仪式过后 宠物墓地的一位工作人员帮忙埋葬了嗡嗡
Following the service, one of the pet cemetery employees helped bury Buzz,
接着到了把他的墓碑运进来的时候了
and it was time to bring in his gravestone.
183厘米高的喷砂花岗岩厚石板
Sandblasted into a 6-foot slab of solid granite,
嗡嗡的墓碑重达将近3吨♥
Buzz's gravestone weighed nearly 3 tons
造价更是高达7000美元
and cost us $7,000 to make--
但对一块能坚持600多年的广♥告♥牌而言
a small price to pay for a billboard
这点钱不值一提
that will last over 600 years.
它终于被安置好后 我们就为Mike揭开了墓碑的设计
Once it was finally in place, we unveiled the design for Mike.
除了宠物狂热的名字和地址
Along with Pet Mania's name and address,
为了让悼念者光临宠物店我还添加了一条额外优♥惠♥
I also added an extra incentive to get mourners into the store.
但这并没有打动Mike
But Mike wasn't impressed.
我们需要谈谈这个
We need to talk about this.
这样还行吗 还是
Is it cool, or...
你看周围没有一块墓碑像这样的 - 嗯
You notice there's nothing like that around here. - Yeah.
Mike担心它太大了
Mike was concerned it was too big.
我不能让它矗在那 因为这块地是埋葬用的
I can't put it there because these are burial spots,
所以涉及到后续的收益
so there's a lot of money involved.
我是说 钱不是这些东西的关键 但是
I mean, money's not the issue on a lot of things, but--
保持原地不动要多少钱 500吗
What would it cost to keep it? $500?
不不 要多得多
Oh, no. More than that.
2000呢 - 嗯 至少这个数
$2,000? - Yeah, minimum.
简短的谈判后我们达成了一致 只要2000美元
After a brief negotiation, we agreed that for $2,000,
就可以让它一直立在那
it could stay forever.
几分钟之内 就已经有悼念者开始注意到它了
And within minutes, mourners were already taking notice
且很可能在考虑去宠物狂热寻找过世宠物的替代品
and likely thinking about replacing their dead pets at Pet Mania.
第二天 我带Jennifer来到这个宠物墓地
The next day, I brought Jennifer to the pet cemetery
向她展示我为她的生意所做的贡献
to show her what I had done for her business.
我想你会发现这正是我们当时说好的
I think you'll find this is exactly what we agreed upon.
好的 - 好 当我数到三
Okay. - Okay, when I count to three,
然后你就摘下眼罩 可以吗
I want you to take off the blindfold, okay?
好的 - 一 二 三
Okay. - One, two, three.
我的天哪
Oh, my god.
怎么样
Huh?
我没有 我没料到会有这么大
I don't--I wasn't expecting that huge--
我原先以为可能就一块普通的石头
I was just expecting, like, a natural rock.
好吧
Right.
嗯 这肯定会吸引人们到店里去
Well, it's certainly going to bring people in, to the store.
Jennifer喜欢这个广♥告♥
Jennifer loved the ad,
那么接下来就是庆祝时间啦
and all there was left to do was celebrate.
香槟
Champagne.
噢 - 妈耶
Oh! - Oh. S**t.
好吧 那就
Okay. Well...
我很开心能给宠物狂热带去它应得的关注
I was so happy to give Pet Mania the attention it deserved.
即便有些人会认为这只是一个墓碑上的广♥告♥
And even though some might just see it as an ad on a gravestone,
但对我来说 这也是对一位朋友最完美的致敬
to me, it was also the perfect tribute to a friend.
我在录制节目的过程中
During the course of making my show,
我碰见的被我惹毛的人多得出奇
I've run into a surprising amount of people I seem to rub the wrong way.
拿走你的披萨塞自己屁♥眼♥里吧
Take your pizza and stick it up your ass.
你知道你是什么吗
You know what you are?
你让我想到了孤独法师
You remind me of the wizard of loneliness.
你现在在玩一个很危险的游戏 - 好吧 对不起
You're playing really a dangerous game right here. - Ok, I'm sorry.
我不确定为什么会这样 但我知道作为一个电视主持人
I'm not sure why that is, but I know that as a TV host
有一个不讨喜的个性对生意来说非常不利
having a personality that people don't like is bad for business.
这就是我需要做出改变的原因
And that's why I needed to make a change.
于是在录这季节目的头一个星期
So for the first week of shooting my show this season,
我雇了一个能广泛代表美国社会的焦点小组
I hired a focus group that represents a cross-section of American society
让他们在附近的一辆厢式货车里观察我的一举一动
to watch my every move from a nearby box truck.
给我讲讲你的生意吧
Tell me a little bit about your business.
我们是卖♥♥门的 有红木的
We have the doors. We have mahogany wood.
通过一个隐藏式耳机
Using a hidden ear piece,
他们能通过无线电给我实时反馈
they were able to give me real-time feedback on the fly
我们有橡木门
We have oak.
讲话时加上手部动作
Express yourself with your hands,
肩部动作 哪儿都用上
with your shoulders, with anything.
所以你们的价格是本地最公道的喽
So you've got the best prices in town.
帮助我变成一个更受人喜爱的主持人
that would help me become a more likable host.
哇 这听起来真酷
Wow. That's really cool to hear.
漂亮 这就对了嘛
Yeah. There you go.
他们告诉我如何更频繁地和观众互动
They told me how to engage with my audience more.
大约500个样板门供你选择
Like 500 models of doors you could choose from.
这座建筑里的所有门都是你们生产的吗
Now do you manufacture all the doors in this building?
我们生产了这座建筑里大部分的门 是的
We manufacture most of them in this building, yes.
就这样 做得不错
There you go. Good job.
他们还有一些让我显得更易亲近的时尚建议
And they also had some fashion tips to make me more relatable.
我觉得你会很适合V字领
I think a V-neck would go well with you.
V字领 真的吗
A V-neck? Really?
一件西装夹克
A blazer.
一件短袖搭一件西装夹克也许会不错
A T-shirt with a blazer might work.
对 现在还挺流行这样搭的
Yeah. That's sort of a popular style right now.
没错
Yeah.
早些时候我们遇到的唯一问题是
The only issue we encountered early on
在我们移♥动♥的时候很难让这个小组保持专注
was that it was hard for the group to stay focused while we were mobile.
喔哦 - 噢
Whoa! - Ohh...
但我们很快就想出了解决对策
But we quickly found a solution to that
通过螺栓固定住桌子 并在卡车移♥动♥的时候
by bolting down the tables and strapping them in
给他们系紧安全带
while the truck was moving.
随着那一周的进行 我已经能把我的风格改进得
As the week went on, I was able to evolve my style
更符合他们的口味
to become more in line with their tastes,
一个更讨人喜爱的我开始渐渐成形
and a more likable me was starting to take shape.
很高兴见到你 老兄 - 你也是
Good to meet you, man. - You too.
和我说说你的脚底按♥摩♥店吧
So tell me about your foot massage parlor.
没错 就这么做
Oh, there we go.
身体动作很不错
Body motions are great.
我们也按♥摩♥面部和头部
We also do facial and head, too.
如今 每个人都喜欢脚底按♥摩♥ 对吗
Now, everyone loves a foot massage, right?
哦 真棒 他看了一眼镜头
Oh, great. He looked out at the camera.
看镜头做得很棒 漂亮
Great looking at the camera. Good job.
小组成员们十分喜爱现在的我
The group was absolutely loving who I was now.
那个 这是肥皂水还是只是
Now, is that a soapy water or is it just
普通的水而已 - 就是水 干净的水
plain water? - Just the water, just clean,
没错 就是纯水 - 只是水嘛
Pure--just water, yes. - Just water.
哇 这可真有趣
Wow. That's so interesting.
就这样做 - 真棒 真不错
There you go. - Good! Good.
虽然我仍然处于适应阶段
And even though I was still getting used to it,
但看起来我已经变成了一个更棒的人
it seemed like I had become a better version of me.
但是在彻底转变之前
But before fully committing to this,
我想让我的新形象经受最终的考验
I wanted to put my new personality through the ultimate test.
我们一会儿再回来看结果
And we'll see that in a bit.
但是首先
But first...
请一个职业女佣来你家打扫
Having a professional maid come to your home
是生活难得的享受之一
is one of life's great luxuries.
但是刚开始对整洁房♥子的渴望
But what begins as a desire to have a tidy house
时常会演变成一整天的麻烦
often turns into a day-long dance
这段时间内你的家不完全属于你自己
where your home isn't fully yours.
我可以打扫下这儿吗 - 噢 你想打扫这里了吗
It's okay if I go cleaning around here? - Oh, you wanna clean in here now?
好啊好啊 当然没问题
Oh, yeah, yeah. Sure.
一次大扫除意味着一整天的不方便
A house clean is a full-day inconvenience.
而这也给了我一个帮助Candy Pallares
And that gave me an idea that would help Candy Pallares,
位于加州格兰岱尔的相助女佣服务的老板
of The Help Maid Service in Glendale, California,
为她的顾客提供更快清洁服务的想法
offer her customers a speedier clean.
Nathan - 你好吗
Nathan. - How are you doing?
我打招呼时总是会轻轻握一下手
I always do a weak handshake up front
让对方确定我不构成威胁
to establish that I'm not a threat.
好吧
Okay.