救援高手（2013）

我叫Nathan Fielder
My name is Nathan Fielder.
毕业于加拿大最顶尖的商学院之一
And I graduated from one of Canada's top business schools
并且成绩优异
with really good grades.
如今 我运用我的学识
Now, I'm using my knowledge
来帮助挣扎求生的小企业主
to help struggling small business owners
在这个竞争激烈的世界里获得成功
make it in this competitive world.
这
This...
就是救援高手
is Nathan for You.
这位是Mark Rappaport 马克趣玩店的老板
This is Mark Rappaport, owner of Marky Sparky Toys.
在他发明的所有产品里
And of all the products he's invented,
有一个烂得突出
one stands out as the absolute worst.
"弹弹乐"是一个奇怪且没用的球
The "Doink-it" is a strange ball that doesn't do much.
而且对Mark来说不幸的是
And, unfortunately for Mark,
它一直以来销量也不佳
it hasn't been the biggest seller, either.
这一行不是那么美好的 它确实给孩子带去了欢乐
It's not all fun-- it's all fun and games--
直到没人再买♥♥你的玩具了
until nobody buys your toys.
但就我个人而言
But as far as I'm concerned,
当你的顾客是儿童时 玩具的质量并不重要
the quality of the toy shouldn't matter when you're selling to kids.
所以我去拜访了Mark 教他如何把那些弹弹乐卖♥♥出去
So I paid Mark a visit, with a way to get those doink-its sold.
你在孩提时代最最想要的东西是什么
When you're a kid, what's the one thing you want more than anything?
权力
Power.
错 是不再被当成婴儿
No. To not be seen as a baby.
和孩子做买♥♥卖♥♥很简单
It's very easy to market to kids,
因为他们的大脑还很小
because their brains are so small.
所以比起卖♥♥一颗球 Mark应该向孩子贩卖♥♥一种身份
So rather than selling a ball, Mark should be selling an identity for children.
什么身份呢
That identity?
即拥有弹弹乐是证明你不再是婴儿的唯一办法
That owning a doink-it is the only way to prove you're not a baby.
不行 免谈
No. No.
这是销♥售♥基本常识
This is marketing 101.
只有你这么认为吧
A--according to you.
可这才是销♥售♥产品的秘诀啊
Well, that's what sells products.
厉害 棒极了 我兴奋死了
Fantastic! Fantastic. I am so excited.
你这是在嘲讽我么
Am I sensing some sarcasm?
不然嘞
Yes.
Mark不以为然
Mark wasn't convinced,
并说只有一件东西能够说服他
and said there was only one thing that could win him over.
现金 美钞
Cash. Money.
我需要证明这个方法真的能赚到钱
I needed to show that this would be profitable.
所以那周晚些时候 我召集了一个焦点小组
So later that week, I arranged a focus group
以测试我的营销方案能否真正在孩子身上奏效
to see if my marketing approach would work with actual children.
当我展示这个产品的时候 你们是怎么想的
When I show this to you, what do you think?
你们想要吗 - 不想
Do you want it? - Nope.
才不 - 不
Nah. - No.
为什么
Why?
太蠢了 - 这很蠢吗
Dumb. - It's dumb?
是啊
Yeah.
好的 呃 大家稍等一下
Okay, uh, hold on a second, guys.
我刚接到一个电♥话♥
I just got a call.
喂
Hello?
噢 好的先生 真的吗
Oh, yes sir. Really?
天哪 好的 我会告知他们的
Oh my god, yeah, I'll let them know.
不好意思啊大家 是总统打来的
Sorry, guys. That was the president calling.
他刚刚告诉我拥有这个玩具
And he just told me that owning this toy
是证明你不再是婴儿的唯一方法
is now the only proof you're not a baby.
呃 我是说 我有一个
Well, I mean, I have one.
所以我没事 你们还是婴儿吗 或者
So that's good. Are you guys babies or...
不是 - 才不
Nope. - Nah.
但你没有这个玩具 所以你肯定是个婴儿喽
Well you don't have the toy, so you must be a baby.
除非你有一个 那你就不是了
Unless you have it, then you're not.
好嘞 所以现在你们俩不是婴儿了
Oh, okay, so now... you two aren't babies,
但你还是个婴儿吗
But are you a baby?
你是个小婴儿吗 - 不是
Are you a baby? - No.
但是你没有这个玩具啊
Well, you don't have the toy.
你们对没有这个玩具的孩子怎么看
What do you think about kids that don't have the toy?
可悲吧 - 古怪
Mm, sad. - Weird.
可悲吗 - 很奇怪
Sad? - Weird.
为什么 - 因为他们还是小婴儿
Why? - Because they're a baby.
这个策略的效果比我想象的还要好
The strategy worked even better than I had hoped.
所以我重新设计了这款玩具的包装
So I rebranded the toy's packaging
并带去给Mark看 征询他的意见
and brought it to Mark to see what he thought.
这简直没眼看
It's horrible.
具体哪里不好呢
I mean, what specifically?
呃 一个穿尿布的孩子
Uh, kid in a diaper?
还有 呃 一群指着他的孩子
With, um, children pointing at him?
如果这就是你的水平 那你真是够菜的
If this is the best you've got, you're awful.
我是说 我花了很多人力和物力去帮你卖♥♥
I mean, I'm putting a lot of effort and resources into trying to sell...
但你实在是 - 它没那么
Well you're not... - It's less--
你实在是不擅长干这一行
You're not good at what you do.
就这样 你真的不适合干这一行
Um, you're not good at what you do.
和Mark合作就像玩他生产的玩具一样"有趣"
Working with Mark was about as much fun as playing with his toys.
但我坚信我可以打动他
But I was convinced I could win him over
只要我向他展示销♥售♥成果
if I showed him results.
所以我为弹弹乐创作并拍摄了一条专业的电视广♥告♥
So I wrote and shot a professional TV commercial for the doink-it,
能确保其在儿童群体中的销量
that was guaranteed to get kids to buy it.
如果你是三至八岁的儿童
If you are between the ages of three and eight,
请仔细听好
please listen closely.
现在拥有一个弹弹乐是唯一证明
Owning a doink-it is now the only proof
你不是个小婴儿的证据
that you are not a baby.
如果你没有这个玩具
If you don't have this toy,
别人会认为你穿尿布而且整天没事就哭
people will think you wear diapers and cry all the time.
所有人都会以为你还睡在婴儿床里 用奶瓶喝水
Everybody will think you sleep in a crib and drink from a bottle
如果你没有这个玩具的话
if you don't have one of these.
并且每当你说话的时候 别人只能听见
And whenever you speak, all people will hear is,
"咕咕 嘎嘎"
"Goo goo, ga ga."
所以赶紧要你的妈妈或爸爸去给你买♥♥一个弹弹乐
So tell your mom or dad to buy you a doink-it.
不然的话 在其他所有人眼里
Because otherwise, as far as anyone's concerned,
你就是个婴儿
you're a baby.
对了 它还是个玩具球
Oh, it can also be used as a toy ball.
卡 好样的
Cut. Nice.
广♥告♥很完美
It was perfect.
但当我试着在本地电视台买♥♥个时段的时候
But when I tried to buy ad time on a local station,
你这是在欺骗儿童
You're lying to the kids,
说什么如果他们没有这个玩具就是个婴儿
and saying that they're a baby if they don't have this toy.
他们说像这样的广♥告♥永远不会上电视的
they said a commercial like this would never make it on tv.
这代表着我需要换个新方案
And that meant, I needed a new approach.
所以我说服了一家当地的玩具店帮忙卖♥♥这款弹弹乐
So I convinced a local toy store to carry the doink-it
并给他们提供了一个免费的圣诞老人作为交换
by offering to provide them with a santa, free of charge,
为即将来临的节日季做准备
for the approaching holiday season.
但他们不知道的是 这个圣诞老人是我的老朋友James Bailey
But what they didn't know is that santa was my old pal, James Bailey,
我相信他一定会确保
who I could trust to make sure
每个孩子都会想要一个弹弹乐作为圣诞礼物
that every kid would be asking for a doink-it for Christmas.
随着James的就位 - 圣诞老人哎
And with James in place... - Santa!
推销弹弹乐的时候到了
it was time to sell some doink-its.
你想好圣诞节要什么礼物了吗
Do you know what you'd like to have for Christmas?
呃 我很想要一个<童话高中>的人物玩偶
Um, I would really want an Ever After High doll.
天哪 这意味着你肯定还是个小婴儿
My, that--that--that tells me that you must be a baby.
你是个婴儿吗 - 不是
Are you a baby? - No.
看到这些嘲笑小男孩的人了吗
See all these people making fun of the boy?
我们可不想让别人认为你是个婴儿
So, we don't want people to think that you're a baby.
而唯一证明你不是婴儿的办法
And the only way you can prove that,
就是拥有一个弹弹乐 - 好吧
is if you have a doink-it toy. - Okay.
这项计划效果奇好
The plan was working great.
我需要这个 所以 - 你想买♥♥这个吗
I need this, so... - You're gonna get this?
我们学校的一个女 女生 她对我很刻薄
One of the girls that-- at my school, she's mean to me.
她对你很刻薄吗 噢 这可不妙啊
She's mean to you? Oh, that's not good.
我怀疑是不是因为她认为你还是个婴儿
I wonder if that's because she might think you're a baby,
因为你没有弹弹乐
because you don't have a doink-it.
唔 这肯定意味着你还在穿纸尿裤
Well, that must mean you wear diapers.
不 我已经不♥穿♥纸尿裤了
No, I don't wear diapers anymore.
因为我说我想再当个婴儿了
'Cause I don't wanna be a baby, I said!