救援高手（2013）

伪装成一个穿了宗教服装的女保龄球玩家
Disguised as a female bowler in religious garb,
Kamarin和她的约会对象完全处于我的听力范围之内
I was able to be within earshot of Kamarin and her date.
时刻准备着分开他们
Ready to split things up
一旦他的击球庆祝动作变得太毛手毛脚
if his strike celebrations got a little too touchy.
幸运的是 这种情况并没有发生
Fortunately, that wasn't required.
Cody看上去真心是个不错的男人
Cody seemed like a genuinely good guy,
我能看出来Kamarin感觉很安全
and I could tell Kamarin felt safe
因为她真的开始畅所欲言了
as she really began to open up.
如果两架飞机撞倒了那两座塔楼
If two planes brought down the two towers...
嗯哼
Uh-huh?
我能想象这是可行的
I could see that as being feasible.
好的
Okay.
但是是什么使世贸七号♥楼倒塌的呢
But what brought down building number seven?
七号♥楼
Building seven.
我的方法完美奏效了
My method was working perfectly,
在Cody安全地把她送回家后
and after Cody returned her home unharmed,
我进屋确认Kamarin是否和我一样感觉这项服务很不错
I went inside to see if Kamarin felt as good as I did about the service.
你感到 呃 整个过程中你感觉安全吗 - 是的
Do you feel, like you felt safe and everything? - Yeah
感觉非常踏实
Feel pretty secure.
你没发现那个人是我吧
You didn't know it was me, right?
不 完全没发现
No. Not at all.
没错 所以
Yeah, so...
我想这表示这项服务效果很不错
That shows that I guess it worked pretty well.
是啊
Yeah.
"爹地盯梢"这项服务大获成功
The Daddy's Watching system was a total success.
但为了和约会DNA合作
But for it to work with Dating DNA
我需要建立一支训练有素的爹地队伍
I'd need to build a staff of trained daddies
他们要和我一样值得被信赖
who'd be as trustworthy as I am.
于是我张贴了一些提供安保工作的传♥单♥
So I put up some fliers that offered security work.
第二天
And the next day
我面试了唯一一个回应我广♥告♥的人
I met with the one guy who responded to my ad.
在这种情境下你会怎么做呢
What would you do in this scenario?
你在保护这个女人 而那个男的尝试去亲她
You're protecting the woman and the guy tries to kiss her.
我会把他扔到地上 - 这什么意思
I'm gonna drop him. - What does that--
如果我使足够的力气 就在这
If I do it hard enough, right here,
就在呼吸管腺样体这
and right in the glands for your windpipe,
如果我推得足够用力 就像这样
I push hard enough to--like this.
大约十三 大约三四秒
For about thirt--for about three seconds--four,
我就能让你昏迷
I can put you out.
酷 - 或者后面这块也可以
Cool. - Or back here, right here.
耳垂下面
Underneath the lobe.
但是你得像这样猛地一下
But you have to go like that
击到耳垂后面这个点上
back here by the lobe to get it.
嗯 差不多能让你昏迷30秒
You know, it puts you out for about 30 seconds.
弄这里能让你昏迷将近一分钟
This one here puts you out for about a minute.
所以你知道很多手段
So you know lots of moves.
我知道一些 是的
I know a couple, yeah.
Mark似乎很适合这个工作
Mark seemed qualified for the job,
但我仍然需要看看他的实际操作
but I still needed to see him in action.
于是我为另一位约会DNA的用户安排了这项服务
So I arranged the service for another Dating DNA user
并领着Mark去了她家
and brought Mark with me to her home
以判断他能否胜任首次担任爹地的工作
to see if he could handle his first real job as a daddy.
你好吗 Polly
How you doing, Polly?
我很好 谢谢
Good, thank you.
那么Mark将担任你的爹地 - 好的
So Mark will be your daddy. - Okay.
他将会跟踪你
And he will be following you
并保持一定距离监视你
and watching you from a distance.
先告知你一下
So just so you know,
我们已经把你所有个人信息都给了Mark
we've given Mark all your personal information.
包括你的地址 姓名 照片 以及社交圈子
Your address, your name, photographs, your social.
所以如果你不见了 他肯定知道怎么找到你
So if you go missing, he knows how to track you down.
好吧
Okay.
好嘞 那就这样吧
All right, so, yeah.
祝晚上约会愉快 就这样吧 - 谢谢
Have a fun night, and uh, yeah. - Thank you.
我以前盯过梢的 从来没出过问题
I've watched people before, so... never had a problem.
好吧
Okay.
我会保护你 会一直看着你
I'm gonna protect you, watch you all the time.
确保 我眼神会始终锁定你
Make sure--I won't keep my eyes off you at all.
我会保护你 确保你安全到家
I'll protect you, make sure you get home.
然后我还会帮你掖好被子
And I will tuck you in bed.
给你掖好被子后我再走
I'm just gonna tuck you in bed, and I'm gone.
你要清楚我肯定会来帮你掖好被子的
And I'll make sure you're clear that I'll come tuck you in.
好吧
Okay.
Mark让Polly觉得很安全
Mark made Polly feel safe,
这意味着我现在可以回Kevin那里
and that meant I could now return to Kevin
提供他所需要的一切
and give him everything he needed
以便在全国范围内推行"爹地盯梢"计划
to implement the Daddy's Watching system nationwide.
帮助处境艰难的企业感觉真是太好了
It felt so good to help a struggling business.
但那天离开时我知道
But I left that day knowing
我同样也为打造一个更安全的世界尽了一份力
that I also helped make the world a safer place.
嘿 我正要从这里搬走
Hey, I just--I moved away from here.
如果你不介意给我几秒钟的话
If you don't mind--you give me a couple seconds.
我只想拍照留个念 因为我要搬走了
I just wanted--take a picture 'cause I moved.
噢 可我没有相机啊
Oh, um, I don't have a camera.
相机在这里面
Camera's in here.
什么意思
Sorry?
好吧 不不不 别走
Okay. No, no, no, no, no, no.
不 你回来 - 还是算了吧
No, come here. - Oh, it's fine.
站住别走 快回来
Stay right here. No, come here.
嘿呀
Whoop.
我猜你们大多数人应该都惊讶于
I assume most of you are impressed by
我每周在节目里怎么能完成那么多事
how much I accomplish every week on my show.
这也是为什么许多人都会问我
Which is why I get so many people asking me
保持如此高效的方法
how I stay so productive.
秘诀就在于找到那一件
Well, the secret is finding that one thing
比任何事都要激励你的东西
that motivates you more than anything else.
对我来说 这个东西就是对丢脸的恐惧
And for me that thing is fear of embarrassment.
当我需要保持积极性完成一项任务时
When I need to stay motivated to complete a task,
比如撰写我的第一部剧本
such as writing my first screenplay--
一项我最近在创作的项目时
a passion project I've been working on--
我通常会架起相机拍摄一张
I'll often set up a camera and take a photo of myself
自己摆着丢人姿势的照片
in an embarrassing position,
比如扮成热狗里香肠的样子
like posing as the meat in a human hot dog.
然后我会把照片打印出来
I'll then print out the photo
放在一个写有我奶奶家地址的信封里
and place it in an envelope addressed to my grandma,
这幅模样我绝对不会想让我奶奶看到
someone who I'd never want to see me this way.
接着我会亲手把这张羞耻的照片送到附近一位公♥证♥员手里
Next, I'll hand-deliver the shameful photo to a nearby notary
她将按我的指示寄出照片
who I instruct to mail it out
条件是当且仅当我不能够给出
if, and only if, I don't show proof
在两周之内完成剧本的证据时
of my completed screenplay in two weeks time.
背负着让奶奶失望的真实压力
With the real pressure of disappointing my grandma upon me,
我全神贯注于工作的能力大幅提升
my ability to focus on my work goes way up.
我发现我是可以按时完成目标的
And I find I'm able to complete my goals in record time.
剩下要做的就是把写好的剧本展示给公♥证♥员
Then all it takes is presenting my completed work to the notary
以取回我的信
to reclaim my letter.
十分感谢
Thank you so much.
这个方法用在自己身上时独具奇效
It's been surprisingly effective in motivating me,
我想知道它是否同样能帮到其他人
and I wondered if this technique could help others as well.
所以我在Craigslist网站上发了条广♥告♥
So I put an ad on Craigslist
寻找正在试图减重的人
seeking people who are trying to lose weight--
一个为很多美国人所困扰的问题
something a lot of Americans struggle with.
最后我收到了几个人的回复
And I got several responses from people
都说自己已经试遍了所有办法
who claim to have tried everything.
我的饮食习惯很糟糕
I've got horrible eating habits.
我减了点体重 又升回去 又减下来
So I lose weight then gain weight, lose weight--
我几乎找不到一个能让我坚持下去的节食法
It's hard for me to even find a diet that's something that I would stick to.
是时候看看对丢脸的恐惧在他们身上能否奏效了
So it was time to see if fear of embarrassment could work for them.
在你生活中有谁
Who's someone in your life
是你不会愿意在他们面前难堪的
you wouldn't want to look bad in front of?
应该是我的孩子们
I guess my kids.