救援高手（2013）

我叫Nathan Fielder
My name is Nathan Fielder.
毕业于加拿大最顶尖的商学院之一
and I graduated from one of canada's top business schools
并且成绩优异
with really good grades.
如今 我运用我的学识
Now，I'm using my knowledge
来帮助挣扎求生的小企业主
to help struggling small business owners
在这个竞争激烈的世界里获得成功
make it in this competitive world.
这
This...
就是救援高手
is Nathan for you.
Greg Boodaghian从事的行业中
Greg Boodaghian works in an industry
不诚信的商家十分猖獗
where dishonesty runs rampant,
一开始我还以为他家店叫"同性恋汽车修理"
and that makes the fact that I first thought his business
G&Y和GAY(同性恋)二词形状相似
相较之下这根本不足以担心
was called "Gay Auto Repair" the least of his worries.
他最大的问题是 顾客不信任他
His biggest problem: customers not trusting him.
我确实有这样的顾客 他们一进来这里
I do have clients like that that once they enter here,
就觉得我要讹他们钱
they think that I'm ready to rip them off.
Greg看起来是个诚实的机修工
Greg seemed like an honest mechanic,
但在帮助他之前我需要确认这一点
but before helping him, I needed to be sure.
所以我用盐代替糖给他烤了一些饼干
So I baked him some cookies with salt instead of sugar
看看他会不会在味道上撒谎
to see if he'd be honest about the taste.
第二天 我去拜访了他在加州格伦代尔的店铺
and the next day, I paid him a visit at his shop in Glendale, California,
带着我自♥制♥的点心
with my homemade treats.
我给你准备了个小惊喜
I have a little surprise for you.
我给你烤了这些饼干 - 给我的吗?
I baked you these cookies. - For me?
是的
Yeah.
所以请随意享用
So feel free to have one.
好的
Sure.
谁做的 你做的吗 - 没错
Who made it? You made it? - Mm-hmm.
怎么样
What do you think?
很好 - 你喜欢吗
Very good. - You like it?
我喜欢 是的 有点咸
I like it. Yeah, a little salty.
与众不同
Different.
足够了
Good enough.
计划是让Greg宣传自己是一个诚实的机修工
The plan: For Greg to promote that he's an honest mechanic
他会在连接着测谎仪时才给出估价
by only giving estimates while hooked up to a lie detector.
我从来没想过这个点子 但是你懂的
I never thought of that, but, you know it...
这种办法不仅会让你看起来更诚实
Something like this won't only make you look more honest,
而且会让你的竞争对手看起来更不诚实
but it will make your competitors look more dishonest.
因为这会让城市里的每个人都想
Because it'll make everyone in the city go,
"为什么我的机修师没用测谎仪呢"
"Well, why isn't my mechanic hooked up to a polygraph?"
"我想去找连着测谎仪的机修师"
"I want to go to the guy who is."
可能吧 人们会这样想 - 是啊 没错
Probably, yeah. People will think that way. - Yeah, yeah.
Greg似乎喜欢我的想法
Greg seemed into my idea,
这意味着我需要找到一个可靠的测谎仪给他用
and that meant I needed to find a reliable polygraph machine for him to use.
你还要再来一个吗
Do you want another one?
噢 我待会再吃 - 现在就吃一个吧
Oh, I'll take it later. - Have another one now.
不吃了吗 - 不了
No? - No.
所以我找到了一个当地的测谎仪操作员
So I tracked down a local polygraph operator
并和他在我的办公室见面 试试他的机器
and met up with him at my office to put his machine to the test.
如实回答下列问题 好吗
Answer the following questions truthfully, okay?
嗯哼
Mm-hmm.
今天是星期四吗
Is today thursday?
是的
Yes.
你现在坐着吗
Are you currently sitting down?
是的
Yes.
你曾经用过色情片来自♥慰♥吗
Have you ever used pornography to pleasure yourself?
这是标准问题吗
Is that a standard question?
尽量不要在问题之间说话
Try to not talk between questions.
你曾经观看网络色情片
Have you ever used online pornography
或者色情片来自♥慰♥吗
or pornography to pleasure yourself?
没有
No.
好吧
Okay.
撒谎
Deceptive.
呃 这个结果不太准确吧
Well, I don't know about that 100%.
我从来不看色情片
I don't look at pornography,
所以很显然Gene的老机器给Greg用太不灵光了
so it was obvious that Gene's old machine was too inaccurate to use with Greg.
所以我找了一个不同的测谎仪操作员
So I sought out a different polygraph operator
他声称拥有最先进的设备
who claimed to have the most up-to-date equipment.
老实说 这台机器看起来像是16世纪的东西
Honestly, this machine looks like something out of The 1500s.
就好像 - 是啊
It was like-- - Yeah.
它们的准确率只有80% - 是的
Those are only 80% accurate. - Right.
所以我今天想做的是 一方面测试你的机器
So what I want to do today, along with testing your machine,
一方面证明我在那种情形下说的是真话
is to show that I was telling the truth in that situation
还有我不看网络色情片
and that I don't watch online pornography.
好的
Okay.
所有线都连好之后
And once I was all hooked up,
我就准备好迎接棘手的问题了
I was ready to take on the hard questions.
你住在威斯康辛州吗
Do you live in Wisconsin?
不
No.
通过
Pass.
你在网上看过色情片吗
Do you ever look at pornography on the internet?
没有
No.
失败
Fail.
我 我
I--I s--
你是否曾经在网上看色情片的时候自♥慰♥
Have you ever pleasured yourself while watching pornography on the internet?
没有
No.
失败
Fail.
你需要重新启动电脑什么的吗
Do you need to reboot the computer or something?
完全不需要重启
There's no--nothing to reboot.
运转很正常
It's rolling.
因为我注意到你的电脑是戴尔
Cause I noticed your computer is a Dell.
所以我不知道 - 我用的是东芝
So I don't know-- - Computer's a Toshiba.
它从来没出过毛病吗 - 从来没有
It never glitches? - No.
你没过 我想是因为你在说谎
You're failing, and I think it's 'cause you're lying.
我觉得有点奇怪因为我说的都是真话
But it's weird for me a little bit when I'm telling the truth.
但电脑却显示我在说谎
And the computer is saying I'm lying.
除了这个 电脑还是东芝的
And on top of that, it's a toshiba.
小绿山 小绿山
Small green mountain, small green mountain,
大绿山
giant green mountain.
那一段是什么问题来着 - 黄♥片♥
What was that question for? - Porn.
你在网上看过黄♥片♥吗
Do you ever watch porn on the internet?
电脑系统是微软95吗
Is that a windows '95?
哦 天哪 老兄 别垂死挣扎了
Oh, jesus, dude. You're graspin' at straws.
操作系统和你满口胡言乱语没有任何关系
The operating system has nothing to do with what you're shooting out.
而且用的不是微软95
And it's not windows '95.
是XP吗 - 是的
XP? - Yes.
不过 这仍然不是最新的操作系统
Still, it's not the most recent operating system, I don't think.
尽管John的陈旧机器并不准确
Despite the inaccuracy of John's dated machine,
我们不得不选择他
we had to go with him
因为这附近没有其他的操作员了
since there weren't any other operators in the area.
再见 - 拜
See you later. - Bye.
而在G&Y这边 我给Greg准备了一个惊喜
Back at G&Y, I had a surprise in store for Greg.
我给你弄了那个标语 - 好吧 真不错
I got you that sign. - All right, that's cool.
是吗 - 是的
Yeah? - Yeah.
标语就位以后
With the sign in place,
终于是时候让Greg跟顾客尝试他最新的诚实策略了
it was finally time for Greg to try out his new honest approach with customers.
嗨 你好吗 - 嗨 你好
Hi, how are you? - Hey. hi.
今天我们有一个特别的活动 - 好啊
We have a special today. - Okay.
我们会接受测谎仪测试 当我们给你
We accept a polygraph test when we give you--
在我们给你估价的时候 - 哦 哇哦
when we give you the estimates. - Oh, wow.
如果你想要试试 你愿意的话
So if you want a-- you're willing to--
这听起来不错 好啊
That sounds great. Yeah.
顾客似乎对这次活动感到很兴奋
Customers seemed excited about the promotion,
在彻底检查之后 Greg给出了他的报价
and after a thorough inspection, Greg gave his quote.
你的后刹车只剩百分之五了
The rear, you have, like, 5% left.
好的
Okay.
而我们的测谎仪核查人John则在一旁做着记录
While John, our polygraph examiner, took notes.
现在是时候检验Greg是否诚实了
Now it was time to put Greg's honesty to the test.
今天是星期天吗 - 不是
Is today sunday? - No.
实话
True.
后刹车片只剩下百分之五了吗