救援高手（2013）

它就呆在 就呆在我的口袋里
It's staying--it's staying in my pocket.
我是不会拿出来的
It's not going anywhere.
我们只需要拍一下这项条款的镜头
Well, we just need to get a shot of the clause for the scene.
我 我 - 文件里的条款
I-I-- - In the document.
你可以拿着文件
You can hold on to it.
只要你拿出来就行了 对
Just hold it out like you'd had and then--yeah.
拿到这个摄像机这里
This camera needs to get it out here.
行了 我就这样拿着
Okay, that's how I had it.
然后你就可以
And then you can--
确保你拍到了
Just make sure you get an insert of the actual--
好吧 我要 我不知道你是不是在挑衅我
You know, I'm about to--I don't know if you're provoking me or not,
但我 我不会 我已经受够这场闹剧了
but I'm--I'm not-- I'm getting tired of this.
我不会为你的行为承担责任的 懂吗
I'm not gonna be responsible for your conduct, okay?
我试图让Peter分担责任的计划落空了
My plan to have Peter share liability didn't work.
所以我和Elias在他的指导下保护自己就显得尤为重要了
So it was more important than ever that Elias and I take his guidance to protect ourselves.
如果我们有当戏仿艺术家的经历 法律上说会对我们有利
It would just be helpful, legally, if we had a history of being parody artists.
好吧
Okay.
我告诉他我们只有两周时间来引起尽可能大的轰动
I told him we'd only have two weeks to make as big of a splash as possible.
我们得着手写一些可以在四处演出的歌♥曲
So we got to work coming up with some songs that we could perform around town.
人们最容易听出来的是滚石或齐柏林飞艇的歌♥
So the easiest thing that anyone would recognize is a Stones song, a Zeppelin song.
对 也许我们可以讽刺他们有多么过时
Yeah, maybe we could, like, skewer them for being old.
没错
Right.
我不能勃起 但我不停在尝试
I can't get an erection, but I try, but I try.
或类似的东西 我也不太确定
Or something like that. You know, I don't know.
我们敲定了出道曲 完成歌♥词后
We had our first song, and after finishing the lyrics
我在当地一个开麦夜场订了个位子
I booked us a spot at a local open mic night
这样我们就可以在法律纠纷时站稳脚跟
so we could begin building our legal defense.
我和Elias是滚石乐队的忠实粉丝
Elias and I are big fans of the Rolling Stones.
但是呢 我们最近谈到他们时觉得
But, you know, we were talking lately and we thought
"你懂的 这些家伙有点过时了" 于是
"You know, these guys are kinda getting a little old," So...
*我不能 噢*
*I can't get no-ho*
*勃 噢 起*
*E-e-rection*
*我不能 噢*
*I can't get no-ho*
*勃 噢 起*
*E-e-rection*
我们第一场演出竟然还挺顺利
Our first performance actually went pretty well.
但表演完后 Elias提出了一些顾虑
But after our set, Elias expressed some reservations.
你对歌♥词感到不自信吗
Are you not confident in the lyrics?
好吧
Okay.
他太紧张了 没法再登台演出
He was too nervous to get on stage again.
于是又写了几首歌♥之后
So after writing more songs,
我只得自己一个人去接下来的开麦夜场了
I had to do the next open mic, on my own.
*我不怕*
*I'm not afraid*
*抓我的蛋蛋*
*To grab my balls*
*每个人*
*Everybody*
*来抓我蛋蛋*
*Come grab my balls*
*不要把钱花光*
*Don't let the checks run dry*
*贵族们*
*Royalties*
*今晚剃须*
*Shave tonight*
*让我们把胡子刮光*
*Let's get that beard all gone*
*好多胡茬*
*Too much stubble*
*让我们把毛发刮光*
*Let's get that hair all gone*
我以为演出还算过得去
I thought the show went okay,
但不幸的是 观众们不这么想
but unfortunately, the audience didn't agree.
我真的一点也不喜欢
I didn't really like that at all.
只能说不是我的菜
It's not really my cup of tea.
他简直烂透了
He's f**kin' sucked.
或许现在并不流行戏仿歌♥曲吧
Maybe musical parody just wasn't in style right now,
因为我上网搜了一下 根本没人提到我的作品
because when I looked online, no one was writing about my work.
于是我打给Elias通知他计划有变
So I called Elias with a change of plan.
我在想 也许我们可以转向更视觉化的戏仿作品
I was thinking maybe, you know, we move into some more visual parody
然后办一个更正式的艺术展
and do, like, a more formal art show.
你是说现在这不是你的头等大事了吗
Are you saying that this is not your priority right now?
还是别的什么意思
Or what are you saying?
Elias说他没时间来帮忙
Elias said he didn't have time to help.
但我知道这是我最后一次成为戏仿艺术家的机会了
But I knew this was my last shot to become known as a parody artist.
于是那一周剩下的时间我都在打造艺术品
So I spent the rest of the week generating art pieces
并在一个潮流街区订了一处画廊来展示我的作品
and booked a gallery space in a hip neighborhood to display my work.
我四处分发传♥单♥保证有足够的参观者之后
And after passing out flyers to make sure I had a crowd...
周五晚上七点是吗 - 对
Friday night at 7:00? - Yeah.
我可以过去
I can make that.
我的艺术展准备好开始了
my art show was ready to begin.
最后润色了一番我的戏仿作品之后
After putting the final touches on my parody art,
我们便开门迎客了
we opened our doors
我立刻就看出人们非常喜欢我的作品
and right away I could tell people were digging my work.
美国总是热衷于战争
America being mostly about war
而美国银行只关心利润和金钱 我只是
and Bank of America being about profits and money as well, I just--
我还挺喜欢这个作品的
I actually like that one.
这个作品的含义其实是 你懂的
The meaning of this is actually just, like, you know,
你把钱存进银行 就会很安全
you put your money in the bank. It's really safe.
像一辆坦克
Like a tank.
好吧
Okay.
我只是好奇 在你看来是什么让这个作品值2500美元
I'm just curious, like, what in your opinion makes this piece worth $2,500?
你在其中投入了什么让它变得这么值钱
Like, what did you put into it that would make it worth that much?
和我的歌♥不同 我的视觉作品似乎取得了我需要的效果
Unlike my songs, my visual pieces seemed to be making the impact I needed them to
因为人们真的把我当成了一个戏仿艺术家
as people were taking me seriously as a parody artist.
这个作品让我眼前一亮 我深有感触
Well, this catches my eye. Yeah, I feel this.
那晚我大获成功
The night was a success.
最棒的是 我现在有了证据可以证明
And best of all, I now had the evidence to argue
"愚蠢星巴克"只是我的另一件艺术品而已
that "Dumb Starbucks" was just another one of my art pieces.
但随着展出濒近结束
But as the show was winding down,
我却因为Elias根本没有露面而深感沮丧
I found myself frustrated that Elias didn't even bother to show up.
我为了帮助他的生意夜以继日地工作
I was working night and day to help his business
但他似乎一点都不关心
and he didn't even seem to care.
但我不会浪费这么好的主意
But I wasn't gonna let an idea this good go to waste.
于是第二天 我带着律师回到太阳咖啡店
So the next day, I returned to the Helio Cafe with my lawyer
把事情给拎清
to make things fair.
基本上 就我从Nathan这里了解到的情况是
Basically, as I understand it, what Nathan has related to me,
他为咖啡店的生意做了绝大部分的工作
is that he has done the lion's share of the work in setting up the business.
不只是创建概念 提出了这个主意
Not only creating the concept, coming up with it...
Peter接着说Elias将不再与"愚蠢星巴克"有关
Peter went on to say that Elias would no longer be a part of "Dumb Starbucks",
还有我会开一家自己的咖啡店
that I would be opening up a new shop on my own,
而Elias什么都得不到
and that Elias would be getting nothing.
你现在有什么问题要问我吗
Do you have any questions of me at this time?
不 我现在没有 现在没有
I--not--not at this time. Not at this time.
和Elias断绝关系后
After severing ties with Elias,
我终于可以不受他拖累继续前进了
I could now proceed without his dead weight slowing me down.
于是我在加州洛斯菲利斯区租了一家空的零售店
So I rented a vacant retail space in Los Feliz, California,
这将作为首家愚蠢星巴克的地址
that would serve as the location for the first Dumb Starbucks.
这让我想起我家的金属制品
This reminds me of the metal in my house.
你家有长这样的金属制品吗 - 是啊
You have metal in your house like that? - Yeah.
噢
Oh.
紧接着就开始装♥修♥了
Construction began immediately,
而店面装潢至少要花一个星期
and it would take at least a week to build the shop.
所以与此同时 我在克雷格列表上发布了一条广♥告♥
So in the meantime, I posted an ad on craigslist
寻找有星巴克工作经验的咖啡师
seeking baristas with Starbucks experience.
在得到一些回应后
And after receiving some responses,
我约见了申请人以判断他们是否合适
I met with the applicants to see if they'd be a good fit.
当你和客人交流的时候 嗯
When you're interacting with customers, you know,
幽默感是很重要的
it's important to have a good sense of humor.
嗯哼
Mm-hmm.
那么你有幽默感吗
Do you have a good sense of humor?
我觉得我有
Yeah, I think so.
那你来稍微演示一下呗
So, let's see some of that.
嗨
Hi.
嘿 你好 今天过得怎么样
Hey, how's it going? How's your day?
不错 一切顺利
Great. Yeah, it's going well.
一切顺利啊 天气怎么样
Going well? How's the weather?
你喜欢今天的天气吗 - 喜欢
You enjoying the weather? - Yeah.
不错嘛 但我不喜欢
Yeah, that's cool. I'm not.
就是太热了
It's just too warm.