救援高手（2013）

"我充分理解当Nathan问到"
"I understand that when Nathan asks,"
"你愿意为了节目效果签下合同吗"
"Will you sign this contract for the camera?"
"我明白他实际是在问我 你愿意在现实中签下合同吗"
"I understand that that's code for Will you sign the contract in real life?"
噢
Oh.
你可以自己看 - 嗯哼
You can see. - Mm-hmm.
这个条款就在这儿 - 好吧
That clause right there. - Right.
这个合同是在欺诈的情况下呈递给我的
The contract was presented to me under false pretenses.
相信我 这是笔好买♥♥卖♥♥
Trust me, this is a good call,
所以别为此感到难过
so you shouldn't feel bad about this.
不 你骗了我 这是 - 这不叫骗
No, you tricked me, and it's-- - It's not a trick.
这就是骗 - 不 这不是骗
No, it is a trick. - No, it's not a trick.
我很不喜欢这样
And I don't appreciate it.
合同里写得清清楚楚的
Everything was in the contract.
我不欣赏这种做法
I don't appreciate it.
我成功了 我等不及要和Javier分享这个好消息
I did it, and I couldn't wait to share the good news with Javier.
棒耶
Yeah.
怎么样 开心了吧
All right. Happy, right?
当然 - 好 那就好
Yeah. - Okay, good.
搓一搓
Rub-a-dub-dub,
刷一刷
splish, splash,
吸一吸
suck, suck,
还有嗡呜呜呜呜呜呜
and wrrrrrrrr.
这些只是其中一些你会听到的声音
These are just some of the sounds you'd hear
如果你前往位于加州阿特沃特村的洛斯菲利斯洗车店的话
if you paid a visit to Los Feliz Car Wash in Atwater Village, California.
但是你不会经常听到的则是收款机的声音
But one sound you won't hear that often is "cha-ching".
Amir Lankarani是这里的老板
Amir Lankarani is the owner here,
他承认最近的生意不太好做
and he admits that lately, business has been tough.
有时候经营确实非常不顺
Occasionally, can be very much so struggle.
但是对于一个以清洁为生的人来说
But for a man whose business is cleaning,
我很惊讶他的办公室会那么脏
I was surprised by how filthy his office was,
我不禁猜想这是不是他复杂商业策略的一部分
and it made me wonder if this was part of a sophisticated strategy.
你办公室这么脏是不是因为
Do you keep your office this dirty to
想向顾客证明你只在乎把他们的车洗干净
make a point to your customers that you only care about cleaning cars?
是的 与其花精力清洁办公室
Yes, rather than trying to clean my office,
还不如把心思放在给顾客洗车上
I put my emphasis in cleaning their car.
所以这都是故意的喽
So this is all intentional.
是的
Yes.
我想说 我见过杂乱 但你这真是一团糟
I mean, I've seen clutter, but you go all out.
这个 凡事尽力嘛 - 是啊 我是说
Well, I do my best. - Yeah, I mean,
你桌子底下竟然有个马桶啊
you have a full-size toilet bowl under your desk.
嗯 这是因为 我们买♥♥它是为了
Well, the reason behind it is, we bought it for our--
那啥 为了装在我们一个洗手间里
What is it? One of the bathrooms,
还没来得及换而已
haven't had the chance to replace it yet.
所以你不用这个马桶吗
You don't use that toilet?
肯定不会在这儿啊
Not here, no.
真的吗 - 真的
No? - No.
Amir运营洗车店显然有自己的一套方法
Amir clearly had a unique approach for marketing his car wash,
而这意味着他肯定会满意我的点子
and that meant I had an idea that he was gonna love.
洛斯菲利斯洗车店的位置很独特
Los Feliz Car Wash is uniquely situated
周围很少有鸟类出没
in a neighborhood with very few birds,
那如果Amir可以想办法吸引更多的鸟类
so if Amir could somehow attract more birds
停留在附近街道旁的树上
to specific trees that overhang the streets nearby,
去他店里洗车的需求肯定会增加
demand for his services would surely go up.
计划是 更多的鸟就等于更多的生意
The plan: more birds equals more business.
鸟吗
Birds?
你想啊 往树上放鸟又不犯法
I mean, there's nothing wrong with putting a bird in a tree.
话是没错
That's true.
之后它们干了什么是它们自己的选择
What they do after that is their own choice.
没错
That's right.
所以如果它们在车上拉屎 那受益的是你
So, if they do that on a car, it benefits you,
但 - 更多需要洗的脏车
but-- - More dirty cars,
就有更多的美元进账
more dollar signs coming inside the register.
你说得对
You're right.
Amir接受了这个提议 接下来第一步
Amir was into the idea, so the first step
就是给鸟儿们找个落脚的好地方
was finding the right tree to host the birds.
洗车店正对面的街道旁
Directly across the street from the car wash
有一根横跨街道的绝佳树枝
was the perfect branch that hung over traffic.
我决定把鸟放在这里
This is where I needed them to be.
我知道鸟喜欢鸟食
Since I know birds love bird seed,
于是我沿着树枝往整棵树上都撒了一些
I sprinkled some along the branch and all over the tree
希望能把鸟招来
in the hopes of attracting them.
但出人意料的是 一天过去了都没有鸟来
But surprisingly, after a day, no birds had come.
所以我又掏空了一些金枪鱼罐头
So I emptied out a couple of tuna cans
把蚯蚓和泥土混在一起装了进去
and packed them with earth worms and soil
然后用胶带把它们固定在树枝上
then taped those to the branches,
心想这应该更能吸引贪食的鸟儿
thinking that this would be a more appealing treat.
我甚至还在该区域其他树上放了些稻草人
I even put tiny scarecrows in other trees in the area
我可不想让鸟飞错地方
that I didn't want the birds to go in.
然而悲催的是 依然没有鸟来
But again, no birds showed up,
我可不想把下半辈子都搭在帮这家洗车店上
and I wasn't about to spend the rest of my life helping this car wash.
因此我安排了一位训鸟师过来
So I arranged for a bird wrangler to come
手动把鸽子放到树杈上
and physically put pigeons up on the branch.
但令人沮丧的是 它们制♥造♥的鸟粪不足以达到我要的效果
But frustratingly, they weren't pooing enough to make the impact I needed,
因此我询问训鸟师
so I talked to the bird wrangler
看看她有没有其他主意
to see if she had any other ideas.
鸡或者孔雀 它们拉得比较多
Chickens or peacocks, they-- they poop pretty good.
但你不觉得把鸡放到树上会有点奇怪吗
Don't you think chickens would maybe look a bit strange in the tree though?
也许 - 不会啊 鸡原本就栖息在树上
Maybe? - No, chickens roost in trees.
所以这并不会奇怪到惹人注目吗
So it wouldn't really stand out as being that weird?
嗯 不会的 - 好吧
No, uh-uhh. - Okay.
我相信你的直觉 - 好
I trust your instincts, then. - Yeah.
听从了Carol的建议 我们弄来了一些鸡放到树上
Taking Carol's advice, we added some chickens to the tree,
她说我们得定期地做这件事
which she said had to go more regularly.
办法奏效了 但是粪便的大小
And it helped, but the dropping size
还是不够让车主下决心洗车
just wasn't big enough to persuade people into getting their cars washed.
因此我们又安排加上了一只孔雀
So we arranged to have a peacock added to the mix
它们可以拉出是鸡粪体积1.5倍的粪便
that can drop loads 50% larger than the chickens.
这样一来
And with that,
我感觉一切都已就绪 只等顾客上门了
I felt like I had everything I needed to get things started.
然后我在洗车店门口贴了公告推广一项新服务
So I posted a sign at the car wash advertising a new special.
现在我想让Amir看看树上的鸟
Now I wanted to show Amir the birds in the tree.
哇哦
Wow.
太棒了 - 是啊
That's great. - Yeah.
看起来简直就像回归自然了 不是吗
I mean, it just looks--mother nature, doesn't it?
人们从树下开过去 它们拉得满车都是
So people are driving under, they're dropping all over cars,
然后猜猜人们会去哪
and then where are they gonna go?
会直接过马路去我店里
Right there across the street.
没错 - 这很合 这很
Yeah. - Makes co--you know, makes...
合乎常理 不是吗
common sense, doesn't it?
现在我要想个办法让车停下
Now I needed to figure out a way to get car to stop
给树上的鸟雀们多争取点时间干活
so the birds would have enough time to do their business.
先生 对不起 不好意思 我隐形眼镜掉那地上了
Sir, sorry. Sorry, I dropped my contact lens over here,
我现在正在找
so I'm just looking for it.
嗯 我怕 我担心你可能会碾过去
Yeah, I don't--I'm worried you might drive over it.
你能帮帮我吗
Could you help me?
是的
Yeah.
呃 我也不知道在哪儿找啊
Um, I don't know where.
噢 今天鸟真多啊
Oh. There's a lot of birds today.
是这样的 路对面有个洗车店
Sorry, there's a car wash down the street,
他们能把这些清理得干干净净
they can do a really good job of taking it off.
如果你要的话 我这里有优♥惠♥券
If you want, there's a coupon.
我的计划终于奏效了
My plan was finally paying off.
树上居然还有鸡
You got chickens up in that tree.
漫天的鸟粪竟然真的促使司机们纷纷光临洗车店
The droppings were actually encouraging drivers to pay a visit to the car wash.
随着时间推移
As the day progressed...
你知道怎么从这走到好莱坞的标志那吗
Do you know how to get to the Hollywood sign from here?
一切都自然而然地进行着
nature was taking its course.
尽管有一坨鸟屎无情地溅到了我嘴里
And even though I took a brutal splash in the mouth...
我会毫不犹豫地再做一次
I'd do it again in an instant
如果这意味着能给洗车店多带来一位客人
if it meant bringing in one more customer to that car wash.