救援高手（2013）

而且我还在发烧
And I'm getting over a sickness too,
所以比我能忍♥受的要更热
so it's even more warm than I'd like it to be.
挺有趣的 - 是嘛 谢谢
That was funny. - Yeah, thanks.
Jeremiah非常适合这份工作
Jeremiah was perfect for the job.
我也雇了Amber 因为我和她似乎有很多共同点
I also hired Amber since we seemed to have a lot in common.
你觉得你最大的缺点是什么
What would you say is your greatest weakness?
我最大的缺点就是我人太好了
My greatest weakness is that I'm too nice.
真有趣 那 那恰好也是我最大的缺点
That's so funny, that's--it--that happens to be my greatest weakness too.
真的吗 - 真的
Really? - Yeah.
就在离店铺开张不到一天的时间里
And with the store set to open in less than 24 hours,
我和我的员工们做了最后的润色
my crew and I put the final touches
尽可能让我的伪星巴克看上去和真的一样
on making my parody Starbucks look as authentic as possible.
不久之后 一切就绪
Before long, everything was complete.
在我给了Amber和Jeremiah工作制♥服♥后
And after giving Amber and Jeremiah their official uniforms,
我们进行了第一次员工培训会
we had our first employee orientation
主要是熟悉一些公♥司♥政策
to go over some company policies.
考虑到我们公♥司♥的规模
So because of the size of the company,
我也兼管本公♥司♥的人事部门
I am also the HR department here.
所以我们得过一遍行为准则
So we need to go over the code of conduct
和办公室恋情相关的规矩
when it comes to relationships in the workplace.
第一条 如果你开始和另一名员工约会
The rule of thumb is, if you begin dating another employee here,
必须上报给人事部门
it has to be reported to HR.
同样地 由于搞暧昧是件
Also, because sexual tension is
很容易让人在工作时分心的事
something that's very distracting in the workplace,
所以如果你被另一位员工所吸引的话
if you find yourself attracted to another employee,
也需要如实上报
that also needs to be disclosed.
嗯 Amber 你想先开始吗
Um, Amber, do you want to go first?
哇哦 好吧
Wow. Okay.
我想说 每个人都不一样
Well, I mean, everybody's different.
所以就我个人来说 吸引力不仅仅是
So, like, for me personally, attraction is more than just--
那么和你共事的人当中谁对你最有吸引力
I mean, who out of the people you work with are you attracted to the most?
老板也包括在内
Including bosses.
呃 天
Uh, wow.
好吧 我会 我会选你吧
Okay, I'm gonna--I'll go with you.
我吗 - 是的
Me? - Yeah.
所以在所有和你共事的人当中
So out of everyone you work with,
我对你的吸引力最大吗
you're most attracted to me?
好的 你听到了吧 还是
Right. And you heard that, or--?
嗯 我听到了 听得很清楚
Yeah, I heard that. Yeah, loud and clear.
那对我来说 我也会选你
So mine, I guess would be you.
至于Jeremiah 没有人选你
And Jeremiah, I guess, no one picked you.
但是 呃 因为要备案我还是得知道
But, um, for the record I guess I do need to know
我们两个谁最吸引你
who you are most attracted to.
呃
Um.
她吧
Just say her.
Amber吗 - 是的
Amber? - Yeah.
好吧 呃 但很明显她选的是我
Okay, well, obviously, you know, she did pick me--
是的 我知道 - 所以你们之间是不会发生什么的
Yeah. Yeah. - So that is unlikely to happen there.
但好在这些我都明确地知道了
But it's good that I do know that for the record.
而且既然我们都把话说明白了
And I think the fact that we've talked about it,
现在我们可以以同事的关系继续工作
now we can continue working as peers
而不会造成任何尴尬的局面
without there being any awkwardness.
行吧
Okay.
员工培训大会之后
After our employee orientation,
我带领Amber和Jeremiah参观了店面
I showed Amber and Jeremiah around the shop.
同时也让他们熟悉了愚蠢星巴克的所有咖啡品类
And got them acquainted with all the items Dumb Starbucks has to offer.
唯一剩下要做的事
The only thing left to do
就是向全世界揭开我们的新招牌
was unveil our new sign to the world.
准备好了吗 - 嗯
Ready? - Yeah.
准备好了 - 好嘞
Ready. - All right.
噢
Oh.
耶 好棒
Yay, all right. Yeah.
很不错 是吧 - 是的
Pretty good, huh? - Yeah.
在此之后 愚蠢星巴克就正式开门营业了
And with that, Dumb Starbucks was officially open for business.
我们的商标展示出来后 我的计划也迅速见效了
With our sign now on display, my plan quickly began to work,
人们开始进店
as people started coming in
以为这是一家正牌星巴克
thinking it was an actual Starbucks.
噢 愚蠢星巴克啊 好吧 - 是的
Oh, Dumb Starbucks. Okay, okay. - Yeah.
噢 你还以为这里是星巴克吧
Oh, you thought it was Starbucks.
是啊
I did.
但我们仅有的几个客人
But the few customers we did get
似乎没搞明白我们到底是干什么的
seemed to have trouble understanding what we were all about.
嗯 从法律角度来说
I mean, legally speaking,
这家店应该被看作是一个美术馆
this store has to be categorized as an art gallery,
所以我们不必像星巴克那样遵守同样的卫生条款
so we don't have to abide by the same health regulations as a Starbucks would.
这个嘛 我们并不想让我们的顾客吃坏肚子
I mean, we don't want any of our customers to get sick.
但如果他们真吃坏了肚子 严格来说
But if they do, technically,
那也属于艺术体验的一部分
that's part of the artistic experience.
生意一开始进展还不错
Things were off to an okay start.
但随着时间推移 我开始变得沮丧
But as the day progressed, I became frustrated
因为我们没达到我所预期的客流量
we weren't getting the amount of customers I expected.
于是我就跑到附近的一家咖啡店
So I headed out to a nearby coffee shop
去试着宣传下我新开的店
to try and spread the word about my new business.
您了解一下 街那边新开了一家愚蠢星巴克 - 好的
Just so you know, there's a Dumb Starbucks that's opened up down the block. - Okay.
好吧
Okay.
基本上是同样的咖啡 但更便宜
It's basically the same coffee. Cheaper prices,
愚蠢星巴克吗 - 还有 是的
Dumb Starbucks? - and... yeah.
今天去 你们就能享受到一杯免费咖啡
Today, you know, you can have a free coffee on me.
我理解你是在宣传你们的公♥司♥
I understand you're trying to promote your company.
没错 - 我尊重这一点
Right. - I admire that.
没问题 但你不能在星巴克的地盘上这么做 - 我也尊重你 好
But that's great. You can't do it on Starbucks' property. - And I admire you. Okay.
我会 - 而且每次我往后退
And I will be-- - And every time I step back,
你就会往前走一步 - 没有 我动都没动啊
you keep taking a step forward. - No, I haven't moved.
你动了 我们一开始是站那的 - 我 我会
You have. We started over here. - I, I will be--
不啊 我们一开始就站在这
No, we started right here.
你 但你得从那边离开 - 好的 我会的
You, but you need to walk that way. - I will be--okay, I will.
不幸的是 我的营销策略夭折了
Unfortunately, my marketing efforts were cut short.
但至少我还是搞到了一些免费的咖啡用品
But I was at least able to get some free supplies.
这样业绩平平的开业日
With an underwhelming launch day,
让我开始觉得我所有的努力都付诸东流了
I began to feel like I put in all this effort for nothing.
但第二天早上一切都改变了
But the next morning things changed.
Jeremiah打给我说店里排了支超过十五人的队伍
Jeremiah called me to say there was a line of over 15 people at the store.
然后我发现我店铺的照片被发在了
Then I saw photos of my shop posted
一家直男健身论♥坛♥的留言板上
on a straight bodybuilding message board.
但我完全没预料到接下来发生的事情
But I couldn't have foreseen what happened next.
一家打着熟悉招牌的咖啡店
A new coffee shop with a familiar name
在洛杉矶引起了不小的轰动
creating quite a stir in Los Angeles.
这家咖啡馆 听好了 叫作愚蠢星巴克
The coffee shop--get this--is called Dumb Starbucks.
看起来就和星巴克一模一样
That looks exactly like a Starbucks.
商标啊 字母啊 还有绿色的配色啊
The logo, the lettering, the green coloring.
他们是如何逍遥法外的
How do they get away with this?
因为他们在星巴克上面加了"愚蠢"这个词
Because they put the word "Dumb" on top of Starbucks,
所以这是在戏仿星巴克
so they're parodying Starbucks.
一家靠状告模仿者而臭名昭著的连锁咖啡店
A coffee chain notorious for suing imitators
可能终于遇上了它的对手
may have finally met its match.
在前台 顾客可以点一杯"愚蠢超大杯"
At the counter, customers can order a "Dumb Venti"
或者买♥♥一张"愚蠢诺拉·琼斯二重奏"的唱片
or buy a CD of "Dumb Norah Jones Duets".
有些人甚至排队等了多达一个小时
Some people waited in line for up to an hour.
咖啡在这个美术馆里充当着艺术品的角色
It's an art gallery where coffee is considered art.
这件艺术品的意义在哪呢 它想传递什么讯息呢
What's the point of the art? I mean, what's the message?
我也不知道
I don't know.
我震惊了
I was stunned.
我做梦也没想到客人会这么多
We had more customers than I ever dreamed of.
愚蠢星巴克在短短一天内就成了全球大热
And within 24 hours, Dumb Starbucks had become a worldwide sensation.
嗯 这绝对是有艺术价值在的
Yeah, there's absolutely artistic value here.
对我来说 这是一种抗♥议♥
To me, this is, this is a protest.
这是一种对行业巨头的抗♥议♥
This is a protest against the big fish.
类似星巴克的那些垄断者们
The leviathans of Starbucks.
从一家纯粹为了赚钱而存在的生意中
It was cool that people could draw their own meaning
人们能解读出各自的意义实在是很酷
from a business that was just there to make money.