救援高手（2013）

我叫Nathan Fielder
My name is Nathan Fielder,
毕业于加拿大最顶尖的商学院之一
And I graduated from one of Canada's top business schools
并且成绩优异
with really good grades.
如今 我运用我的学识
Now, I'm using my knowledge
来帮助挣扎求生的小企业主
to help struggling small business owners
在这个竞争激烈的世界里获得成功
make it in this competitive world.
这
This...
就是救援高手
is Nathan for You.
这个人的衣服下藏着上帝钦赐的大礼
Underneath this man's clothes is a huge gift from God.
你们能猜到是什么吗
Can you guess what it is?
没错 就是圣诞老人的身躯
That's right. His Santa Claus body.
James Bailey作为专业的圣诞老人
James Bailey has been a professional Santa
已有20余年
for over 20 years.
如果你长得和他挺像的话 你也可以做到
And if you looked like him, you'd be one too.
我身高1米95 重317斤
I am 6'4", and I do weigh 350 pounds.
我♥操♥ - 没错 我♥操♥
Holy sh*t. - Yeah, holy sh*t.
是啊
Yeah.
我是说 我的医生们想让我减减肥
I mean, my doctors would like me to lose some weight.
所以你要么活得更长久一点
So it's the trade-off between living longer
要么选择当个垂死的圣诞老人
or dying and getting to be Santa.
哪一种更好呢 这很难说
It's like, what's better? It's hard to say.
是啊 的确很难选择
Well, it's very hard to say.
但对于这样一个致力于给我们带来欢乐的人来说
But for someone so committed to bringing us joy,
遗憾的是一年中的大部分时间
It's a shame that, for most of the year,
James都处于完全失业的状态
James is completely out of work.
夏天一到
In the summertime,
圣诞老人就变成了无家可归的人
Santa Claus becomes a homeless person.
但如果我没有对策的话我也不会来这儿了
But I wouldn't be here if I didn't have a solution.
你知道为什么夏天是买♥♥冬装最好的时节吗
So you know how the best time to buy a winter coat is in the summer?
因为这时是打折季
'Cause that's when all the sales are.
没错
Yes.
所以我在想的是把这种策略
So what I'm thinking is that same approach...
应用到圣诞老人上
with Santa.
我没看出来这怎么适用于圣诞老人
I'm not seeing how that applies to Santa Claus.
每年圣诞节 人们都在商场里排队
Every Christmas, people line up in malls
为了和圣诞老人合影
to get their pictures taken with Santa.
但如果你能在人不多的情况下合影
But what if you could do it when it's less crowded
而且还是半价呢
and at half the cost?
我的计划是在夏天和圣诞老人特♥价♥合影
The plan--discount photos with Santa in the summer.
这是个不错的主意
Yeah, that's a great idea.
我看到美元的符号♥在你眼中闪烁 - 嗯
I can see the dollar signs in your eyes. - Yeah.
真的
Yeah.
好的
Right.
为了让计划行得通
For this to work,
我们得联♥系♥好一家商场
we needed to ge t a shopping mall onboard,
商场经理Sweeney Montinola
And mall manager Sweeney Montinola
在位于加州卡森市的南湾阁商场工作
At the Southbay Pavilion in Carson, California,
她愿意让我们实施这个计划
was happy to let us try out our concept.
我觉得夏日的圣诞老人是个有趣又独特的点子
I think Santa in the summer is a fun and unique idea,
而且对南湾阁商场也有好处
And it will be great for Southbay Pavilion.
商场联♥系♥好了 现在是时候
With a mall onboard, it was now time
为我们的圣诞村买♥♥一些必需品了
to buy the supplies for our Christmas village.
你们家最热的租赁品是什么 哪个节日的
Which stuff do you rent for the most, which holiday?
圣诞节 - 圣诞节吗
Christmas. - Christmas?
是的 - 好
Yes. - Okay.
你还真是把这些藏在角落里了 是吧
You really shoved this away in a corner, huh?
对
Yep.
没有人喜欢这个吗 - 是啊
No one likes this? - Yes.
但租借完装饰品后 不好的事情发生了
But after renting our props, something bad happened.
商场的政策是要对所有的员工进行背景调查
The mall's policy requires a background check on all employees.
但当我们调查James时
But when we had one run on James,
真的查到了点东西
Something actually turned up.
所以我去拜访了他 了解一下具体情况
So I paid him a visit to see what the story was.
你有犯罪记录吗
You have a criminal record?
啊 是的
Well, yeah.
就那么一次 还是轻罪
The only-- it was a misdemeanor,
真的 就是很多年前的一次酒驾
Really, from a DUI many years ago.
好吧
Okay.
我不敢相信我所听到的一切
I couldn't believe what I was hearing,
但话说回来 在我见到James的第一天
but then again, from the first day I met James,
我就知道他和其他的圣诞老人不一样
I could tell he was different from other Santas.
这是史密斯威森公♥司♥的点五零马格南
This is a Smith & Wesson .500 Magnum.
这是把点四五半自动
This is a .45 caliber semi-automatic.
点二二步♥枪♥
.22 rifle.
AK-47突击步♥枪♥ 这个口径是点三百的
The AK-47. This is a .300.
小巧的霰弹枪 要是你喜欢霰弹枪的话
Little shotgun in case you're into shotguns.
这是点三五七的马格南 而且已经装弹了
This is a .357 magnum, and that one is loaded.
听着 我们不能把装弹的枪带出去
Okay, we can't take out a loaded gun.
除了这个你没犯别的事
And there hasn't been any other crimes
需要我知道的吧
that I should know about.
对 没什么别的事了
No, there's nothing there.
尽管James有一份犯罪记录
Even though James had a criminal record
还有一个装满了枪的衣柜
and a closet full of guns,
我还是看得出来他是个好人
I could still tell he was a good guy.
但当我回到南湾阁商场时
But when I went back to Southbay Pavilion,
发现他们并不是这样想的
they didn't see it that way.
我不会允许任何有着犯罪背景的人
I wouldn't allow anyone that has any kind of background
与孩子近距离接触
to be that close to kids.
我想说 他人真的很好
I mean, he's a really good guy.
我觉得你会喜欢他的
I think you'd really like him.
你都说错了
No and no.
好吧 - 绝对不行
Okay. - Definitely no.
我不知道要如何告诉James商场并不想要他
I didn't know how to tell James that the mall didn't want him,
但我还是去了他家告知他这个消息
But I paid him a visit to break the news.
把相机提前准备好也很重要
It's also important if we could have it set up
这样就可以当场打印照片了
so that we could print the photos right there.
没错
Right.
你懂的 我们会用数码相机
You know, so we do the digital.
把照片拍下来 - 对 当然
We get the pictures taken. - Sure, sure.
这样可能会吸引更多的人
So that might help draw more people in.
是 我和商场的销♥售♥总监谈过了
Right, so I spoke to the director of marketing at the mall.
好的
Okay.
然后 呃
And...uh...
他们同意我们这么做吗
They're okay with us doing it?
同意了吗 太好了
Yeah? Great.
那我们就要让这一切成真了
So we're gonna make this happen then.
这真是太了不起了
That's outstanding.
是啊 - 那好
Yeah. - Good.
嗯 - 我只想对你说谢谢
Yeah. - I just gotta say thank you.
真的 我觉得这个主意棒极了
Really. I think this is awesome.
James看起来那么激动
James seemed so excited,
于是我就没忍♥心
and I just didn't have the heart
告诉他他被商场拒于门外了
to tell him that he wasn't wanted by the mall.
所以我唯一的目标就是让这一切实现
So my only goal was to make it happen.
我希望的是 如果我们早点进去
My hope was that, if we got in there early,
就能让James拍差不多半小时的照片
we could do about 1/2 hour's worth of photos with James
赶在有人意识到我们不应该出现之前
before anyone realized we weren't supposed to be there.
所以在八月二号♥的早上
So on the morning of August 2nd,
我们悄悄地把卡车停在杰西潘尼店后
we quietly pulled our truck up behind the JCPenney.
在卸下圣诞村的道具之前
And before unloading the village,
我和James简单地说了两句
I had a quick word with James.
先告诉你一声 如果我说了"中止"
Just so you know, if I ever say "Abort,"
我们就走到出口去 如果你可以的话
we should just walk to the exit if you can.
中止 - 对
Abort. - Yeah.
呃
Um...
行吧
Okay.
好嘞 就这样
Okay. That's it.
好了 快一点 伙计们
All right, quicker, guys.
我们马上就要开圣诞展了
We're gonna be doing a Santa display soon.
要不放在这儿
Maybe over here.