救援高手（2013）

不 为什么他穿着生化服
No! Why does he have a biohazard suit?
不 等下 等下 等下
No, wait. Hold on, hold on.
不 不 不 - 等下 等下
No, no, no. - Hold on, hold on.
她哪都不会去 如果你不解释清楚的话
She's not going nowhere 'till you explain, man,
到底发生了什么 哥们
what's going on, man.
是啊 - 发生了什么
Yeah! - What's going on?
她哪都不会去的
She's not going nowhere.
我们先出去再说吧
We're gonna walk right outside.
我们先出去吧 - 好的
Let's walk right outside. - Okay.
我只想要个解释 这是我唯一的请求
I just want an explanation, that's all I'm asking for.
好嘞
All right.
希望你们喜欢这个鬼屋
Hope you guys enjoyed the haunted house.
你们喜欢这次体验吗
You guys enjoy it in there?
很与众不同 - 哇哦
That was different. - Wow.
与众不同吗 - 这我可没想到
That was different? - I was not expecting that.
这位是一名律师 - 你好
This right here is a lawyer. - Hello.
Peter - 我是Peter
Peter-- - Peter.
Peter Marx - 我叫Mo
Peter Marx. - Mo.
Mo 你呢 - 我是Mira
Mo. And you are? - I'm Mira.
Mira
Mira.
如果你觉得这个鬼屋太吓人了
So if you found the haunted house too scary,
想付诸法律手段起诉鬼屋的话
and you want to press any legal action against the haunted house,
他可以和你们谈谈
he can talk to you--
我们能谈一谈 从法律上来说
We can talk and see-- under the law,
你们可以以故意精神伤害的罪名进行起诉
you have claims for what we call "Intentional infliction of emotional distress".
甚至是过失精神伤害
Or even "Negligent infliction of emotional distress."
我并不是想制♥造♥不存在的麻烦
I don't want to create problems that don't exist,
但是如果你们有这样的顾虑 请一定来找我
but if you have those concerns, feel free to call me.
但这不是强制的
But you don't have to,
前提是你们要有这个意向
it's only if you're comfortable about it.
在几组游客体验了我这个版本的鬼屋之后
After running several more customers through my version of the haunted house--
妈 是我 Jordan
Hey, mom, it's Jordan.
呃 我需要去趟医院
Um, actually I have to go to the hospital.
这里有个身染疾病的人
There was somebody with a disease.
听好 我不是想让你们起诉打官司
Now, I'm not trying to create a lawsuit here,
我只想说 根据加州法律你们享有某些权利
I just--you have certain rights under california law.
我拜访了Bruce来跟进情况
I paid Bruce a visit to follow up.
你觉得怎么样
What did you think?
这个 我觉得对一个鬼屋来说太不切实际了
Well, I think it's completely impractical for a haunted house.
但人们都被吓到了啊
But people were scared.
大概吧 我反正看不出来
Yeah, I don't know, I couldn't tell.
出口处有一个我们请的律师 他觉得
We had a lawyer there at the exit that thinks,
你懂的 有些人有提起诉讼的可能性
you know, some people might have a case.
Peter 你要进来吗
Peter? Do you wanna come in?
你好 - 嗨 这位是Bruce
Hello. - Hi, this is Bruce.
我是Peter - 这个鬼屋是他在经营
Peter. - He runs the haunted house.
幸会幸会
Nice to meet you.
所以有些人可能会打官司 是吧
So some of these people have a case, right?
呃 他们中一些人是有点吓到了
Well, some of them were a little apprehensive
我也不想让你陷入太多麻烦
and I'm not trying to get you in a lot of trouble--
但你想要起诉
But you want to sue.
诉求完全合法的话 我当然会起诉
I want to sue for legitimate claims, absolutely.
那这算合法诉求吧
And this is a legitimate claim?
呃 可以是啊 这个 再看吧
Well, it could be. And, uh, we'll see.
那好吧 - 好吧 非常感谢
All right. - All right, thanks so much.
客气了
All right.
呃 很高兴我 嗯 帮你做了这件事
Well, I'm glad I-- you know, could have helped and done this for you.
接管了一家很棒的鬼屋 但
Took a good haunted house and...
并没让它变得更棒
Not made it any better.
好吧 我是在试着让你出名
Well, I'm trying to get you press.
好吧
Okay.
最后我才发现 这个鬼屋里最恐怖的事情
In the end, the scariest thing about the haunted house
竟然是Bruce的乖张行径
was Bruce's terrible manners.
但是当有人对你无礼的时候 不要往心里去
But when someone's rude to you, you can't take it personally.
你只须继续前行
You just have to keep going.
当你看我的时候 你可能看见了一个完美的男人
When you look at me, you probably see a guy who has it all.
但实际上 我身上还是有很多青涩稚气的地方
But really, there's a large part of me that's immature and under-developed.
特别是涉及到女人的时候
Especially when it comes to women.
从小到大我每一个喜欢的女孩都拒绝了我
Every girl I liked growing up rejected me.
由于这个原因
And because of that,
我成为了一个有女人在旁边就习惯性紧张的男人
I've grown into a man who's chronically nervous around women.
我是个感情上的侏儒
I'm an emotional midget.
如果有人带着这个问题来找我
Now, if someone came to me with this problem,
我会建议沉浸疗法
I'd suggest immersion therapy,
也就是把自己沉浸在恐惧中来克服恐惧
where you overwhelm yourself with your fear in order to overcome it.
所以今晚 为了给你们做示范
So tonight, to inspire you,
我会尝试通过同时约会十个女人 而不是一个哦
I'm going to attempt to overcome my fear of the opposite sex
来克服自己对异性的恐惧
by dating not one, but ten women at the same time.
祝我好运吧
Wish me luck.
我需要找到十个同意跟我约会的女人
I needed to get ten women to agree to date me,
所以我觉得找同事帮忙可能会简单一些
so I thought it would be easy to start with someone I work with.
那个
So...
你知道我会在节目上做个试验
You know how I'm doing the thing on the show
就我要同时约会 呃 十位女性那事
where I'm dating, like, ten women at the same time?
知道
Yeah.
那你现在有对象吗
Are you in a relationship right now?
有 - 好吧
Yes. - Okay.
抱歉啦 当我没问过 我真是蠢翻了
So--sorry, never mind. I was stupid to ask.
结果并不成功 根据我以往的经验来看
It didn't work, and I knew from experience
没有理由的话 女人们是不会停下来跟我说话的
that women just wouldn't stop and talk to me without an excuse.
所以我就找了个理由
So I found one.
打扰一下 来尝尝我们新推出的蓝莓覆盆子奶昔吧
Excuse me, would you like to try our new blueberry-raspberry smoothie?
试试吧 就尝一个
Come on, just one?
想尝尝我们新推出的蓝莓覆盆子奶昔吗
Would you like to try one of our new Raspberry-blueberry smoothies?
其实我是在开玩笑
I'm just kidding, actually.
我并不在这工作 我叫Nathan
I don't work here. My name's Nathan.
我这么做是为了好开个场
I'm just doing this as a way to break the ice
顺便表现一下我的性格
and show my personality.
我只是想多认识些人 然后
I'm just trying to meet people and--
不
No.
我只是在喝我自己在这买♥♥的奶昔
I'm just drinking my own smoothie that I bought from here.
但我喜欢用托盘上的小杯子喝奶昔啊
But I like drinking my smoothie out of little cups on a tray.
我就喜欢这么喝奶昔
That's how I like to drink my smoothie.
是吗 我认为只要我想 我可以在任何地方喝奶昔
Okay, well I think I'm allowed to drink my smoothie wherever I want.
你得挪一边去
You need to move this.
嘿 - 你得挪一边去
Hey! - You need to move this.
别碰我的托盘 你疯啦
You cannot touch my tray, that is crazy.
奶昔这招本来就有点太故弄玄虚
The smoothie thing was too gimmicky anyways,
用可爱小狗的时候我也有这种感觉
and it felt the same way when I used a cute dog.
喜欢我的小狗吗 - 喜欢
Do you like my dog? - Yeah.
打个招呼 - 嗨
Say hi. - Hi.
但正当准备放弃的时候
But just when I was ready to quit,
我灵光一现
it hit me.
我完全忽略了我手头有着吸引女孩子的绝佳优势
I had a major girl magnet at my disposal that I was totally ignoring.
一个电视摄制组
A television crew.
这个主意很疯狂
It was a crazy idea,
但可能有女人会为了上电视的机会而跟我约会
but maybe women would date me just for the opportunity to be on tv.
这就是我的解决办法
I had my solution.
我要制♥作♥一个假的真人秀
I was going to create a fake reality show
在节目里 十个女人要争夺一个男人的真心
in which ten women would vie for the heart of one man.
也就是我
Me.
节目的名字叫 猛♥男♥狠狠爱
It would be called the hunk.
我们花了数周时间准备
It took weeks to prepare
从回复我线上广♥告♥申请参加的难以数计的女性中进行甄选
as we sorted through the countless submissions from women to my online ad.
哦 我喜欢她
Oh, I like her.
但很快我们就选出了我需要的十位女性
But pretty soon we selected the ten women I would need,
雇了个主持人 还租了一所豪♥宅♥
hired a host, and rented a mansion.
没人知道节目是假的 连主持人都不知道
No one knew my show was fake, not even the host.
而节目即将开始
And it was about to begin.
我是Anthony Napoli
I'm Anthony Napoli.