救援高手（2013）

猫王♥刚♥出道时也没有人喜欢他 懂吗
No one liked Elvis when he first came out, you know what I mean?
人们觉得自己被冒犯了 - 没错
People were offended. - Right.
但你必须挺过去
But you have to power through that
如果你想出名的话
if you wanna become big.
一开始 Greg似乎很抵触这个点子
At first, Greg seemed resistant to the concept.
但当我们开始讨论想法的时候
But as we started brainstorming ideas...
是啊 如果他是中国人的话会很好笑
Yeah, it might be funny if he's Chinese,
然后我给他画一张有大龅牙的画像
and I make him a photographer with the big buck teeth.
噢 没错
Oh, yeah, yeah.
小眯眯眼和大龅牙
Little squinty eyes and big buck teeth.
对对对
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
他很快开始接受这个点子
He quickly began to embrace it.
我告诉了他几个犀利点子供他参考
I left him with a few edgy concepts of my own to work on,
然后他开始着手画草图
and he started sketching them out.
第二天 我回去看他的成果
The next day, I returned to see the results.
好的 这是我对于一对情侣的想法
All right, so this is the idea I had for a couple,
你需要画一对情侣的话
when you have to draw a couple.
所以这个是你 画家
So that's you, the artist,
呃 后入这对情侣中的女方 狗爬式
uh, doing the woman of the couple from behind, doggy style,
她在说 "我喜欢这样"
she's saying, "I like this."
她的男朋友看着一个蜂鸟的鸡鸡
Her boyfriend is looking at a hummingbird's penis
心想着 "它的好大"
and thinking, "That's huge."
嗯 这个很棒
Yeah, this is good.
很滑稽
It's really funny.
这是 呃 你画的一位亚洲商人
This is, um, your version of an asian businessman.
呃 你觉得这个 呃 嗯
Um, do you think this one, uh...hmm...
是这样的 我不太确定 呃
See, I'm not, I'm not sure, uh,
当你要呈现一幅关于亚洲的漫画时
when you presented an asian picture
应该往哪个方向去画
which direction I should go with it.
我真的尝试了各种方向
I went all directions really.
我们应该去试验一下 看看效果如何
We could try it out, see how it goes.
当然了 我是说 我并不打算
Sure, yeah. I mean, I'm not gonna get
你懂的 在艺术领域
you know, in art, you know,
你并不想去妨碍别人或是怎样
you don't want to get in people's way or anything,
所以我并不打算 不过 嗯
so I'm not gonna, but, yeah.
我的意思是 这确实
I mean, this is definitely
我是说 拿珍珠港来开玩笑有点太过激了
I mean, the pearl harbor thing is almost not even a joke.
Greg其他犀利的新漫画看起来都很棒
The rest of Greg's new edgy caricatures looked great,
我看得出他已经准备好去现实世界试验一番了
and I could tell that he was ready to try them out in the real world.
你有什么爱好吗
Do you have any hobbies?
我很喜欢骑行和冲浪
I like to bike and surf a lot.
我喜欢游泳 打碟 吹长号♥
I like swimming, deejaying, playing the trombone.
事情开始进展还算可以
Things were off to an okay start,
不过当一个亚洲男子坐下的时候我有点担心
but I got kind of worried when an asian man sat down.
我画的漫画有一点刻薄和犀利
I draw caricatures that are a little mean and edgy.
你能接受吗
Are you okay with that?
当然了 - 真的嘛 那就好 很好
Definitely. - Yeah, okay, good.
怎么样
How's that?
你喜欢吗
You like it?
嗯 - 噢 太好了
Yeah. - Oh, good.
不过我错了 那个人很喜欢它
But I was wrong. The guy loved it.
你喜欢这幅画吗 - 嗯 对啊 我挺喜欢的
You like it? - Yeah, yeah, I like it.
在那之后 一切一帆风顺
And from then on, it was smooth sailing.
噢 太棒了 兄弟
Oh, nice, man.
还不错吧 - 很不错 伙计
Will that work? - That'll work, dude.
Greg的表现好到无以复加
Greg was hitting nothing but home runs,
看到他有工作做也非常激动人心
and it was amazing to watch him work.
噢 真不错
Oh, nice.
所以你今天整体感觉怎么样
So how do you feel it all went today?
人们笑了 我看到人们都笑了 - 人们笑了
People laughed. I saw people laughing. - People laughed.
就好像 人们内心深处的幽默被释放出来了
Like, the deep side of people's humor comes out
当他们被你震惊到的时候
when you show them shock.
你知道 一开始的时候
You know, at the beginning of all this,
我让你画我 你画得并不好笑
I had you draw me, it wasn't funny.
那么现在 我教了你这么多东西
So now with everything that I've taught you,
尽你最大的能力调侃我
I'm saying go as hard as you want on me,
想怎么刻薄都可以
as mean as you want.
你想见识一下讽刺之王吗
You want the king of sting?
我想领教一下讽刺之王 - 没问题
I want the king of sting. - Okay.
因为我想大笑 - 没问题
'Cause I wanna laugh. - Okay.
好了 给
Okay, here you are.
好吧 这幅画很搞笑
All right, this is funny,
但是看到我的祖父被画成这样我很难受
but it's hard for me to see my grandpa depicted in that way.
他是加拿大的战争英雄
He's a Canadian war hero,
而且他 就是 非常
and he's, like, a very,
他在我们家里非常重要
he has, like, a very important role in our family,
所以我不喜欢看到他被画成这样
so I don't like seeing him depicted like this.
简直
It just...
Greg选择用这样没品位的画来结束这一天实在遗憾
It was a real shame that Greg chose to end the day on such a tasteless note.
但抛开我的感受不谈
But regardless of my feelings,
他的确是当之无愧的讽刺之王
He truly was the king of sting.
我的加油站返利活动正在进行之中
My gas station rebate was underway.
但在我们前往奇洛埃山山脚途中
But as we shuttled to the base of Chileo,
我开始怀疑这八个意志坚定的小气鬼中不会有人
I began to doubt that any of these eight determined cheapskates
在到达山顶之前就退出
would drop out before reaching the peak of the mountain.
你可能觉得我会因为塞万加油站要亏钱而紧张
You might think I'd be nervous that Sevan Gas was going to lose money,
但我没有告诉任何人的是
but what I had told no one
其实这件事不只关乎帮助一个加油站
is that this was about more than just helping a gas station.
我打算发明世上第一个完美的返利计划
I set out to create the world's first perfect rebate,
一个完全合法但是根本没人能成功的返利计划
a completely legal rebate that absolutely no one claims.
幸运的是 他们大多人都没读返利单上小字的附加细则
Fortunately, most of them failed to read the fine print on their rebate slips.
他们没意识到他们参加的远远不只是一次登山旅行
They didn't realize they had signed up for a lot more than just a hike.
在加油站工作的那位先生告诉我
The gentleman who worked in the gas station told me that
我必须得来爬奇洛埃山
I would have to come hike Mount Chileo
才能获得返利
to get that rebate.
今天挺累的 但也算一场冒险吧
It's been a long day, but it's been an adventure,
所以并不算太坏
so it's not too bad.
这件事吸引我的点是
What appealed to me about it
它听起来很有趣
was it just sounded kind of interesting.
既然已经来了 干脆就做呗
And once you're there, you might as well do it.
我喜欢在这种远离城市的地方放松一下
I love being out here out of the city, getting to relax a bit,
不过还是有点让人忐忑
but it is a little bit apprehensive
因为是在树林里
because it's the woods.
好了 欢迎来到奇洛埃山
All right, welcome to Mount Chileo,
这个地方的历史底蕴之丰富
A place whose history is as rich
如同其山峰之高耸
as its peak is high.
你们有什么疑问吗
Do you have any questions?
箱子在哪儿
Where's the box?
好问题 不过你得先解出谜题
Well, you have to answer some riddles first.
等一下 在加油站的时候你告诉我们
Wait, at the gas station you just told us
只要我们把返利单投进什么箱子里就行了
we'd have to insert the paper into a box or something
然后就能拿返利
And then get our rebate.
是这样 - 没有提到谜题什么的啊
Right. - Nothing was mentioned about a riddle
或是一系列谜题
or a series of riddles.
听着 我明天三点才需要去接小孩
Look, I don't have to pick up my kid till 3:00 tomorrow.
我们开始吧 - 来吧
Let's do it. - Let's do this.
耶 - 放马过来
Yeah. - Let's do this.
我是一个高度自我的个体
I'm a me, me, me system.
自己照顾自己 我给自己洗澡 喂自己吃饭
I take care of me, I wash me, I feed me.
行吧 那就安静下来我们好
Okay, be quiet so we can...
我本想说所有的内容都印在小字细则里了
I was going to point out that this was all in the fine print,
可大家似乎都不怎么在意
but they didn't even seem to care.
这一切估计会比我预想的更久一点
This might go on longer than I thought.
我已休息了有百万年之久
I've been resting for a million years,
却从未真正入眠
but I never sleep.
我是一种音乐类型
I'm a kind of music,
却从未在野外发出声响
but out here I do not make a peep.
是风 木管乐器嘛 管乐
Wind. Woodwinds, wind music.
是在说风吗 - 是风吗
Is it the wind? - Is it wind?
不是风
It is not wind.