燃情克利夫兰

Hot in Cleveland S03E23

Part 2 May 5, 2020, 9:47 a.m.

Apryl is correct, my show.
我们第一个赞助商
And we have our first sponsor.
是三剑客威化饼的那些好心人
The good people at 3 musketeers.
只要保证一个主要角色
We just have to make sure that a major character
在剧里吃了三剑客牌威化饼或者
is seen eating a 3 musketeers bar
名字叫做三剑客威化饼就好
or is named "3 musketeers bar."
很抱歉但是这种太直白的植入广♥告♥
I'm sorry but it always takes me out of a show
总让我对剧提不起兴趣
when I see a product displayed so boldly.
天呐这饼干超好吃啊
But wow, these things are really good!
乔依知道吗赫克托·克鲁兹
Joy, you'll be happy to know that Hector Cruz--
那位性感拉丁律师
The sexy latin lawyer.
为了你答应来演这个剧
has agreed to do the show just because of you.
快得了吧
oh, please.
我给他修过几次眉毛
I did his eyebrows on the show a few times.
他和我调情来着虽然他已经有主了
He flirted with me, but besides his being married,
他不是我的菜
He's just not my type.
不过他已经离婚了
But he's not married anymore.
妈妈咪呀那我可得抓紧上手
Hot damn, I am so gonna tap that.
我也是
Me too.
你说啥
What?
咱们俩机会均等嘛
It's just as likely.
好了我来分配任务
Okay, everybody, let's go.
你是位作家就由你来担任编剧
You're a writer, so you'll be my writing staff.
只要你放开我的脸一切好说
As soon as you let go of my face, okay.
而你可以负责化妆造型
And you can do hair and makeup!
我知道那是我的本行
I know I can. It's my job.
你要是敢碰老娘的脸看我不咬掉你的手
Grab my face, you'll pull back a stump.
既然由我来编剧那我想问几个问题
Okay, if I'm the writer, I do have a few questions.
有多少演员愿意回来继续参演
How many actors are coming back?
只有参与最后一场戏的那几位
Only the ones from the last scene.
我们的资金有限
It's all we could afford.
那门外面站的到底是谁
Well, then who's on the other side of the door?
这我们倒没想过
Oh, we didn't think about that.
众所周知剧里每个角色都有个邪恶双子星
Well, as we all know, everyone on the show had an evil twin.
我的角色有两个
My character had two evil twins.
跟我现实生活里一样
As I do in real life.
好了既然要续拍这部剧
Okay. If we're gonna continue the series,
那其他角色都不翼而飞了我们该怎么解释
how do we explain that all the other characters disappeared?
总不能说被原♥子♥弹♥炸死了吧
We can't just say an atom bomb went off.
有主意了就说他们被原♥子♥弹♥炸死了
Wait, I've got it. An atom bomb went off.
不会吧是伊丽莎白·梅多发过来的
Oh, no. It's from Elizabeth Meadow.
英国上层社会的大小姐娜塔莉
The upper crust British lady Natalie.
她接到更好的戏约了
She got a better offer.
她要扮演《灵异妙探》里的验尸官
She's playing a corpse on Psych.
有线台讨喜的悬疑喜剧
Cable's delightful mystery comedy.
那我们现在怎么办
Okay, now what are we gonna do?
咱们得临时抱佛脚找个女演员替她
We have to find an actress to play this part at the last minute.
亲爱的也许我能帮上你们的忙
Perhaps, my dear, I can be of assistance.
大家都看到了维多利亚的新闻台
Well, as you all can see, Victoria's news station
帮我们重现了昨日布景效果相当不错
did an excellent job in recreating our set.
难免也会有几个例外
With a few exceptions.
有几扇门窗都不能用
Uh, some of the windows and doors don't work.
但不碍大事
But it'll do.
我们又找到两家赞助商
And we have two new sponsors.
寝室浴室全能保洁而另一家赞助商
Bed, Bath & Beyond and then at some point
要求演员在剧里穿插一句"生日快乐奶奶
someone has to say "Happy birthday, nana,
来自艾德和丹尼斯乳业的祝福"
from Ed and Denise Milch."
这句词很容易融到剧情里
Yeah, that'll be easy to fit in.
维多利亚
Victoria!
我简直太开心了
I am so excited!
你一点儿都没变
Oh, you haven't changed a bit.
我不是维多利亚
I'm not Victoria.
杰西卡我才是维多利亚
Jessica, I'm Victoria.
维多利亚
Victoria!
你一点儿都没变
You haven't changed a bit.
阿普拉
And Apryl...
你一点儿都没变
You haven't changed a bit.
杰西卡你还好吧
Jessica, hi, are you all right?
我做了角膜重塑
Oh, I got lasik surgery.
是眼部手术
On my eyes.
手术效果貌似不太理想
I don't think it turned out so good.
虽然我的眼科牙医医术很高明
Even though I went to a really good eye dentist.
所以我放在抽屉里的提词卡上的字号♥
So you may have to write my lines a little bigger
要稍微加大点
inside the drawers.
乔依
Joy!
你在哪儿呢我的小心肝
Where are you, my sweet?
是赫克托他来了
It's Hector. He's here.
乔依
Joy.
你美貌依旧
You're as beautiful as ever.
我也勉强认出你了
I recognize you as well.
是啊我不再是健身房♥的奴隶了
Yes, I am no longer a slave to the gym.
我摆脱了我的教练
I got rid of my trainer.
怎么摆脱的把他吃了吗
What'd he do, eat him?
-你的头发怎么了 -以前是织发
- What about your hair? - It was a weave.
我后来付不起费用了
I got behind on my payments.
而没有随头发日渐稀疏的是我对你的欲求
What hasn't thinned... is my desire for you.
天啊我现在就想要你
Ay diosmio, I could take you right now!
用她做汉堡吃
Out for a burger.
好了各位请换好服装
Okay, everyone, get in costume.
-十分钟后彩排 -我五分钟就能搞定
- Rehearsal in ten. - I'll be back in five.
我只要把上衣脱掉就行
All I have to do is take off my shirt.
对吧女士们
Am I right, ladies?
赫克托你一点儿都没变
Oh, Hector, you haven't changed a bit.
我先把情况搞清楚
Let me get this straight.
虽说各种悲剧眼看就要发生
We're still gonna go through with this,
但我们还是要不顾一切地演下去
despite several obvious potential disasters.
好了从欧娜的台词开始开拍
All right. From Honor's line and action.
娜塔莉女士
Lady Natalie.
苔丝·蒙哥马利医生
Dr. Tess Montgomery.
桑代克法官
Judge Thorndike.
我始终知道你们当中会有人背叛我
I always expected one of you to betray me.
但没想到会三人同时背叛
But not all three.
卡
Cut.
维多利亚欧娜·圣瑞雯这句台词是哭诉出来的
Victoria, Honor St. Raven cries after that line.
欧娜·圣瑞雯绝不会哭诉
Honor St. Raven would do no such thing
因为欧娜·圣瑞雯也就是我
Because Honor St. Raven, me,
不会在这群人面前落泪
would never give these people the satisfaction
让他们坐看笑话
of crying in front of them.
这样如何欧娜说"我才不会让你们
Okay, what if Honor says "I won't give you
看到我落泪心生快♥感♥
"the satisfaction of seeing me cry.
要寻求绝佳快♥感♥ 我首选这款经典轻量装
"Instead I will take satisfaction from this classic light
松软粘稠牛轧三剑客巧克力棒"
"and fluffy whipped nougat 3 musketeers bar."
-震撼人心 -好词
- Powerful. - Good stuff.
我刚才收到赞助商的短♥信♥ 所以才思泉涌
Yeah, it just came to me. In a text from our sponsor.
各就各位开始排练杰西卡的台词
Okay, places everyone. Let's start with Jessica's line.
你走投无路了欧娜·圣瑞雯
You're ruined, Honor St. Raven.
赶紧收拾东西离开...
Pack your bags and leave...
樱草峡谷吧
Primrose Valley.
正如你之前的那些荡♥妇♥一样
Like the many harlots before you,
没人会惦记你的亲爱的
you will not be missed, my dear.
停
Cut.
你用吸管干嘛
What's with the straw?
我要节省唇膏
I'm conserving my lipstick.
所以不要给姐安排吻戏
So F.Y.I., no kissing scenes.
抱歉啦休
Sorry, Hugh.
好了从欧娜的台词开始开拍
Okay, from Honor's line and action.
为何待我如此残忍♥
Why all this cruelty?
你心知肚明
As you well know...
自从你和那位性感拉丁泳池清洁工
Our relationship has never recovered
路易斯做了不轨之事
from your little... affair with Luis...
我们的感情裂痕一直没能愈合