燃情克利夫兰

Hot in Cleveland S03E12

Part 1 May 5, 2020, 9:45 a.m.

《燃情克利夫兰》是在
Hot in Cleveland is recorded
摄影棚观众前现场录制
in front of a live studio audience.
乔依梅兰妮情人节快乐
Joy, Melanie, Happy Valentine's Day.
谢谢啦维多利亚
Thank you, Victoria.
-你俩一人一张 -我也送了
- And there's one for each of you. - And for me.
真贴心
That was sweet.
好了完事了咱开始喝吧
Okay, that's done. Let's drink.
运动服披萨饼还有酒
Sweats, pizza and wine.
搞得像颓废杂♥志♥封面似的
It's like the cover of giving up magazine.
才没有颓废
It's not giving up.
我们只是不想出去过情人节而已
We chose not to go out on Valentine's Day.
抱歉
Oh, I'm sorry.
原来是死不认账杂♥志♥啊
Denial magazine.
爱尔卡你打扮得真漂亮
Elka, you look very nice.
今晚谁能有幸一亲芳泽啊
So who's the lucky man tonight?
杰拉尔德
Oh, Gerald.
还是叫哈洛德什么的
Or Harold...or something.
我一直在想去年情人节
I keep thinking about last Valentine's Day.
-你还和迈克斯在一起 -是的
- When you were with Max? - Yes.
我很爱弗雷德罗伊还有波比
Oh, I love Fred and Roy and--and Bobby.
我也很喜欢杰克莱斯特和厄尼
And I--you know, I like Jack and--and Lester and Ernie.
但没有谁能与迈克斯相比
Oh, but there's just nobody like my Max.
我懂的情人节最容易让人伤怀了
Yeah, I get it, Valentine's Day can make you very nostalgic.
所以我才会穿高中游泳队的大夹克
That's why I'm wearing my old swim parka from high school.
你还参加过游泳队
You were on a swim team?
你不是脊柱侧凸吗
I thought you had a scoliosis brace.
是的我是游泳队设备管♥理♥员♥
Well, yeah, but I was team equipment manager.
专门递下毛巾
You know, I would hand out the towels
给那些希腊孩子们剃剃背毛
and shave the Greek kids' backs.
从好的方面看我还被选为
On the plus side, I was voted
"后背矫形器类校花"呢
"Hottest girl in a back brace."
那个逞能的啦啦队员
Until that perky cheerleader
从"金字塔"掉下来后头衔就归她了
fell off the pyramid.
抱歉问下这故事哪部分让你伤怀了
I'm sorry, what part of this makes you nostalgic?
我们的招牌选手尼克·科斯塔
Oh, our top swimmer, Nick Costas.
我超爱他的
I had the biggest crush on him.
这件夹克就是从他那儿偷的
I stole this jacket from him.
我以前常跟他调情直到眼镜起雾
I used to flirt with him until my glasses would fog up
汗水往下滴刺疼我下巴上的粉刺
and sweat would drip down and sting my jaw line acne.
我很好奇他现在怎么样了
I wonder what he looks like now.
我这就去脸谱网上看看他
I'm gonna facebook him.
我要抵♥制♥脸谱网
Oh, I'm boycotting facebook.
我不喜欢新的设计风格
I don't like the new design.
扎克伯格你就是净爱瞎折腾
Couldn't let it alone, could you, Zuckerberg?
[网站创始人之一]
找到了
Oh, there he is.
天哪他还是那么帅
Oh, my goodness, he's still so cute.
他结婚了没
Is he married?
没写
It doesn't say.
他的状态是"跟兄弟们一起公路旅行"
His status is "road trippin' with the boys".
我要加他为好友
I'm gonna friend him.
情人节当天
On valentine's day?
听起来有点饥渴哎
That seems a bit desperate.
连乔依都这么觉得哎
Even to Joy.
行啦好吧我等等吧
Okay, okay, I'll wait.
我们来个昔日恋人♥大♥寻踪吧
Why don't we all track down lost loves?
我倒是想跟迈克斯联♥系♥
Oh, I'd love to contact Max.
但他非常生我的气
But he's been real mad at me
因为我差点儿嫁了弗雷德
since I almost married Fred...
却又跟波比落跑了
and ran away with Bobby.
我要寻踪
Well, I'm in.
我还挺想知道
Ooh, I would love to know how
第一任老公克拉克的情况
my first ex-husband, Clark, is doing.
他超正点的身材高挑
He had it all--he was tall,
帅气十足才华横溢
gorgeous, brilliant.
来大饱眼福吧
Feast your eyes.
他是个很有名望的科学家
And he's a renowned scientist.
他为什么甩了你
Why did he dump you?
我只是瞎猜
I'm assuming.
是我甩了他
I dumped him.
他完全不把我的演艺事业当回事
No, I--I mean he didn't take my acting seriously
而且老在家里养些稀奇古怪的生物
and he always had all these strange creatures in the house.
他当时全心研究一只该死的鹦鹉
Now he was especially devoted to this hateful parrot
那死鸟老在我背后说我坏话
who always used to talk about me behind my back.
鹦鹉是不会编话的
Parrots can't make things up.
-它只会学人讲话 -没错
- They just repeat what you say. - Yeah.
你现在这语气就跟克拉克一个德行
Well, now you sound just like Clark.
乔依你想找谁
So, Joy, who you gonna look up?
抱歉
Oh, sorry.
没关系
Oh, that's okay.
显然我的曾经沧海
Obviously my lost love
是我那落跑新郎凯尔
is my runaway groom, Kyle.
但是我真觉得这事
But, I really think that's best
埋葬在过去就好对吧
left dead and buried...right?
那当然
Yes, of course.
但是
But,
如果他告诉我在婚礼前抛弃我的原因
maybe if he told me why he left me at the altar,
这起码对我是个了结
I could finally get closure.
但如果他丝毫也不抱歉呢我会伤心死的
But what if he's not sorry? That would kill me.
对没错
Yes, it would.
但是如果他真的很抱歉
But...what if he is sorry
而且再见时仍对我旧情难忘呢
and he feels the same spark when he sees me?
一切又步入正轨不知不觉
Things get back on track and before you know it
我俩便步入殿堂移居普罗旺斯
we're married and living in Provence.
行了别跟我啰嗦梅兰妮
Oh, fine, get off my back, Melanie!
我听你的就是了
I'll do it.
我们终于可以一探凯尔真容了
So we are finally gonna see what Kyle looks like.
乔依把他从所有照片中剪了下来
See, she cut him out of all her photos.
我不敢看
I can't look.
-这是条狗 -什么
- It's a dog. - What?
这是他的狗的照片
I--it's a picture of his dog.
说明他现在是个大胖子
That means he's a fattie.
《燃情克利夫兰》
第三季第十二集
早晨好啊
Morning!
尼克·科斯塔加我为好友了
Nick Costas friended me back.
我们现在在网上
And now we're flirting online
如俩大龄脑残少年般调情
like a couple of middle-aged teenagers.
见鬼听起来没什么情调哈
Oh, boy, that didn't sound sexy.
但这够情调吧
But this does.
"好啊尼克
"Hey, Nick.
还记得人家梅兰妮·莫雷蒂吗
'memba me, Melanie Moretti?"
好久没游了哦"
Long time, no swim."
挺不错吧
Good, huh?
你看他跟兄弟们一起在俄州
And get this, he is "road trippin' with the boys"
公路旅行呢
through Ohio,
而且他说我的脸谱网照片
and he told me that I looked,
看着"超赞" 这词可是大写哦
in all caps, "AMAZING" on my facebook photo.
这哥们就不会用小写
Everything he wrote is in caps.
总之"超赞"是大写好吧
Including "Amazing."
姐♥妹♥们♥ 我得坦白一件事
Girls, I have a confession to make.
我昨晚彻夜未眠在网上看凯尔的信息
I was up all night, reading about Kyle online.
查出什么来了
What did you find out?
他现在单身
He's single.
今天在明尼阿波利斯市办事
He's in Minneapolis today for business...
他刚在亨尼平街喝了一杯额外加浓的
and he just had a cappuccino with two extra shots
-卡布奇诺 -原来他是那种会把
- on Hennepin Avenue. - Oh, so he's one of those guys
鸡毛蒜皮的小事都放上网的男人
who posts ever little thing he does on his wall.
不我黑进了他的电邮和汽车导航系统
No, I hacked into his email, his car's GPS,
还有他的信♥用♥卡♥账户
and his credit card accounts.
原来我还是个网络奇才呢
Turns out I'm pretty good at this.
我去开门