燃情克利夫兰

Hot in Cleveland S03E11

Part 4 May 5, 2020, 9:45 a.m.

携手
Uni--
停关掉伴奏
Cut! Stop the playback.
少对维多利亚动手动脚
You keep your hands off Victoria,
你个混♥蛋♥英国佬
you limey bastard.
奏效了
Oh, it's working.
你妹的你个白♥痴♥
Oh, bloody hell, wanker.
她不是你的猥琐你丫
She's not your Viselnub.
她是我的猥琐你丫维多利亚
She is my Veezelnub. Uh, Victoria.
我要把她夺回来
And I'm taking her back.
开弓没有回头箭你个自私鬼
There's no take-backs, you selfish pissant!
你把我踢出了乐队
You kicked me out of the band!
是你自己离开的
You left the band.
在阿姆斯特丹瞎晃
Wandered off in Amsterdam.
还和基斯·理查兹住在那个风车房♥里
You and Keith Richards, living in that windmill.
[滚石乐队主音吉他手]
你可以关掉了
You can turn it off.
他们把话题从我身上岔开了
They're not talking about me anymore.
我稍微休息一会什么都别碰
I'm gonna take a five. Don't touch anything.
你越这么说姐越是想碰
Oh, well, now I gotta touch something.
你的复仇计划奏效了
Well, your revenge plan worked.
太棒了
Bravo.
我的收获可不止报仇这么简单
Oh, I got much more than revenge.
我的备胎又回来了
I got my safety net back.
现在我和强尼
And now Johnny and I
可以回到从前的生活了
can go back to the way things were, you know.
我知道他想找一个
I mean, I know that he wanted someone
朝朝暮暮的爱人
who'd be there all the time,
但你一旦爱上了某个人
but, you know, when you love someone,
就得做出牺牲
you have to make sacrifices.
我绝对舍得为他牺牲
I'd certainly do that for him.
虽然...
Although, uh...
在这件事上我没怎么牺牲我...
Clearly, I didn't on this occasion. I...
我压根就没为他着想
I didn't even think of him at all.
天啊这个计划简直糟糕透顶
God, this was a terrible plan.
这次我又"棒"早了
Again, I "bravo" too soon.
梅兰妮小姐
So, Melanie, m'lady.
活动结束后还去绮丽餐厅吃饭吗
When this is all over, are we still going to Chili's?
听我说市场部的大卫·盖茨
Listen, David Gates from... Marketing.
我之前以为你是面包乐队的大卫·盖茨
I thought you were David Gates from Bread.
我倒也想啊
I wish!
我是他们的超级拥趸
Huge Bread fan.
我一直都是面包粉
I'm a loafer for life.
真的吗
Really?
你粉他们吗
Are you a bread head?
丰田赛纳车里有12个杯托吗
Does the Toyota Sienna have 12 cup holders?
我被你搞糊涂了
I'm confused.
我只是希望你能遂愿
I just want you to have what you need,
找个能天天陪在你身边的人
which is someone who'll be there for you every day,
但那个人不是我
and that's just not me.
所以你得回到纳塔亚身边
So you need to go back to Natalya.
你费尽心机想要挽回我
You did all that to get me back,
现在反而要把我推开吗
and now you don't want me?
我们都知道这样对大家都好
We both know it's for the best.
那我们真的结束了吗
So this is really it for us?
大概是吧
I guess so.
但你永远会是我的撸管助兴剂
But you'll always be in my spank bank.
-你懂那是什么意思吗 -不懂
- Do you even know what that is? - No.
很好
Good.
我会为你写一首歌♥
You know, I'm gonna write a song about you.
但我肯定不能在演唱会上唱
Course, I won't be able to play it in concert
因为粉丝们只想听老调调
'cause the fans just want to hear all the old stuff.
再见强尼
Good-bye, Johnny.
我抽的哪门子风
What was I thinking?
纳塔亚根本不适合我
Natalya's not better for me.
她才22岁
She's 22.
她甚至都没用过拨号♥盘电♥话♥
She never even dialed a phone.
我抽的哪门子风
What was I thinking,
竟然想把你无私地让给别人
doing something unselfish?
就是嘛
Yeah.
那可不是我所爱的维多利亚
That's not the woman I love.
即使只能拥有你五分之一的时间
Having you 20% of the time is better than
也强过和别的女人全天候腻在一起
having any other woman all of the time.
其实要是把日子都加起来
Actually, when you add up the days,
连五分之一的时间也不到
it's--it's really not even 20%, just...
别说了
Oh, shut up.
这... 我简直不敢相信
This is... I can't believe it.
猥琐你丫又回到强尼身边了
Viselnub's back with Johnny.
世上何处无芳草
There are plenty of fish in the sea.
再加上你的名气又这么大
Especially for somebody famous like you.
你名气是很大吧
You are famous, aren't you?
相当有名
Yes, very.
但人家还是很伤心嘛
But it still hurts.
那可不是小乖乖
Oh, of course it does.
靠过来
Come here.