燃情克利夫兰
Hot in Cleveland
第三季
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燃情克利夫兰
Hot in Cleveland S03E14
Part 1
May 5, 2020, 9:46 a.m.
《燃情克利夫兰》是在
Hot in Cleveland is recorded
摄影棚观众前现场录制
in front of a live studio audience.
终于 七频道迎来了好消息
And finally, big news here at channel 7.
下周开始 我们将以高清播出
Next week, we will be switching to HD.
所以我猜某人要去打几针...
So I guess someone will be heading out for a little...
如果你是指美容针
If you're referring to cosmetic fillers,
我希望观众朋友们知道
I just want our audience to know
我从来没有注射过
that I have never ever used
玻尿酸 微晶瓷 凝胶式玻尿酸
restylane, radiesse, or juvederm.
-那么肉毒杆菌呢 -怎么了
- What about botox? - What about it?
今天的节目就到这里
Well, that's all the time we have today.
维多利亚·蔡斯与科林·库珀为您播报
For Victoria Chase, I'm Colin Cooper.
-我是维多利亚·蔡斯 -我是科林·库珀
- And this is Victoria Chase. - And I'm Colin Cooper.
我是维多利亚·蔡斯
And I'm Victoria Chase.
可以去吃午饭了吗
Ready for lunch?
等我去拿包
Oh, I'll just grab my purse.
你好 爱人
Hello, love.
科林 我都忘了你在这里上班
Colin! Forgot you worked here.
裙子的长度另有说法
The length of that dress says otherwise.
你依然面目可憎
You're still obnoxious.
话语里流动着明显的欲望
She said, with barely concealed desire.
是对你的厌恶很明显才对
I think you mean disdain that is openly naked.
-我很想你 乔依 -是嘛
- I've missed you Joy. - Oh, really?
想念什么 我走进房♥
What part-- me walking in
把你和另一个女人捉奸在床
and catching you in bed with another woman
还是我扔燃烧的油罐子时
or you chasing me down the driveway
在你家车道上你追我跑
as I toss a flaming can of sterno over my shoulder?
对了 你的大奔怎么样啊
By the way, how is your Mercedes?
已经没有了新车的味道
Has lost that new car smell.
话说回来 感情总有不顺的时候
Anyway, all relationships have bumps.
-你都起诉我了 -小额索赔法庭而已
- You're suing me! - In small claims court.
让我们重新开始吧
Anyway, let's start over.
俄州新闻人奖就在下个月
The Ohio newsie awards are next month.
会有个颁奖晚宴 陪我去好吗[在我的胳膊上]
There's a gala banquet. Fancy being on my arm?
我不上你的胳膊及你身体的任何部分
Not on your arm or any other part of you.
多谢了
Thanks.
你还是陪我去吧 乔依
You should be my guest at the newsies, Joy.
我那个《拯救犀牛》的报道铁定得奖
My "save the rhinos" piece is a shoo-in to win.
胡说八道
Bollocks.
暖人心房♥的新闻永远别指望得奖
That heartwarming story will never take the prize.
结局太圆♥满♥
It's got a happy ending.
结局圆♥满♥有什么不好啦
So what's wrong with a happy en--
我的天 你说得对
Oh, my god. You're right.
喜剧电影永远拿不到最佳电影奖
Comedies never win best picture.
好的 我得提交新的参赛作品
Okay, I need to submit a new story.
揭露社♥会♥黑♥暗♥真实性的报道
Something that exposes the dark truth about society.
让人类都不齿为人的报道
Something that makes people ashamed to be human.
别白费力气了 维多利亚
Why bother, Victoria?
我的报道里有震撼性曝光
I've already got a riveting expose in the works
我赢定了
that's guaranteed to win.
先别得意
Not so fast!
如果我想到了更具震撼性的曝光报道呢
What if I just thought of an expose even more riveting?
得奖的是维多利亚·蔡斯
And the award goes to Victoria Chase
得奖作品为《肥姐看世界》
for Fat like Me.
《燃情克利夫兰》
第三季 第十四集
瞧瞧你 瞧你这块头
Look at you. Look at all of you.
这化妆效果也太绝了吧
The transformation is amazing.
我穿的是大樽领
Note that I wear a cowl neck,
肥胖女士的官方毛衣样式
the official sweater of the obese.
作为一个融入角色的女演员
Yes, as a method actress,
我向来注重细节
I really sweat the details.
事实上 我现在重得在流汗了
In fact, I'm really sweating now.
你知道谁是优秀的大块头女演员吗
You know who's a terrific big-boned actress?
《超级肥妻》里那个女的
Um, the gal from Norbit.
艾迪·墨菲的胖老婆是他自己演的
That was Eddie Murphy playing his own fat wife.
-是艾迪演的? -是的
- That was Eddie? - Yeah.
让我一人冷静下
Oh, I'm gonna need a minute here.
你有穿这身肥胖装出现在公众场合吗
So have you worn the fat suit out in public yet?
没 第一站是今晚的暴食者互助会
No, my first stop is tonight's overeaters anonymous meeting
就在社区中心
at the community center.
看看我能不能成功打入内部不♥穿♥帮
I'm gonna see if I can pass for one of them.
我就像珍古德一样
I'll be like Jane Goodall.
[野生动物学家 在非洲丛林研究黑猩猩几十年]
人家在丛林可没穿过猩猩装
Jane Goodall didn't dress up like a chimp.
不过我有一次参加万圣节派对
No, but I was at a Halloween party once
她穿的是肥婆装
where she dressed like a fat person.
社区中心
You know, the community center
有各种课程研讨会什么的
has all these great classes and seminars.
可能是认识男人的好地方
Might be a nice place to meet men.
认识想提升自己的男人
Men who want to improve themselves.
男人里的稀有品种
The rarest type of man.
爱尔卡
Elka?
今晚的会议 你得跟我一起去
I'm gonna need you at that meeting with me tonight.
这是隐蔽型摄像头 你要拍下我
Now this is a hidden camera, and I want you to film me
和其他高果糖的美国人♥民♥
and the other high-fructose Americans
超负荷的小心脏一吐心声的情景
as we...pour our overworked little hearts out.
你不用指导我 人家以前干过地下工作
You don't have to show me. I've worn a wire before.
我需要一台监视车
I'm gonna need a surveillance van,
上膛的点22 一个无懈可击的背景故事
a loaded .22, and an airtight backstory.
没车 没枪 你以前是个肥婆
No van, no gun, you used to be fat.
我以为肥胖人士应该是开心果才对
I thought fat people were supposed to be fun.
-走吧 -好 你先去
- Let's go. - Okay, I'll meet you there.
我要从这屋里顺点吃的
I wanna grab some snacks out of this room.
贪吃小猪
Piggy, piggy.
我没吃中饭 就为了穿上这条裤子
I skipped lunch today so I could fit in these pants.
现在裤头松了
Now they've loosened up.
-你好 -你好
- Hi. - Hi.
我叫山姆·J
I'm Sam J.
-我叫梅兰妮·莫 -这里不用透露姓什么
- Oh, Melanie More-- - Oh, no last names here.
明白了
Oh, oh.
看来这些奶酪是没有红酒配了
So I guess there won't be any wine with this cheese.
恐怕是没有美酒了
No, no liquor, I'm afraid.
你第一次来参加互助会吗 梅兰妮
This your first meeting, Melanie?
是 不是
Yeah...no.
其实我是来找人的
I'm supposed to meet someone.
-要我说你已经找到了 -是嘛
- I'd say you just did. - Did I?
-你笑得真美 -谢谢
- Wow, that's a great smile. - Oh, thank you.
我用了美白牙贴
I use bleaching strips.
提这个干嘛呀
Why do I say things like that.
因为你很可爱
Because you're cute.
来吧 坐我旁边
Come on, come sit next to me.
坐旁边 其实我 我不应该...
Sit next-- oh, I'm-- really, I'm not supposed to be--
-我真的不能 -请你留下
- I really shouldn't be-- - Please stay.
第一步总是最艰难的
The first step is always the hardest.
一步一步来
But one day at a time.
好了各位 大家请坐
Okay, guys, if we could all take our seats.
好的 多谢
Great, thank you.
欢迎各位 来到性♥爱♥狂互助会
And...welcome, everybody, to sexaholics anonymous.
当然 那是我减掉600磅以前的事[272公斤]
Of course, that was before I lost 600 pounds.
好了 发言完毕 到我了
All right, that's enough. It's my turn.
爱尔卡 希望你创伤已愈
Oh, Elka, if it's not too traumatic,
你不介意分享下你最不堪的时候吧
would you mind sharing your rock bottom?
那是2009年的7月
It was July, 2009.
我发现一整块圣诞火腿
I found a whole christmas ham...
在我背部赘肉的褶皱里
in the folds of my back fat.
已经成了熏肉了
By then it was smoked.
所以我就吃了
So I ate it.
我们能感受你的痛苦
Oh, we feel your pain.
但是时间到了
But we are out of time.
那么 下次互助会再说
So...until the next meeting.
可是等等 我还没机会发言呢
燃情克利夫兰
Hot in Cleveland
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