燃情克利夫兰
Hot in Cleveland
第三季
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燃情克利夫兰
Hot in Cleveland S03E07
Part 1
May 5, 2020, 9:44 a.m.
《燃情克利夫兰》是在
Hot in Cleveland is recorded
摄影棚观众前现场录制
in front of a live studio audience.
一个濒危的物种
And so an endangered species
在灭绝的边缘摇摇欲坠
teeters on the brink of extinction,
只因为这两只非洲黑犀牛
all because two African black rhinos,
摩西和克莱门廷
Moses and Clementine,
不愿
refuse...
做♥爱♥
to make love.
克莱门廷倒是想 但是很不幸
Oh, Clementine is willing, but unfortunately for her,
摩西唯一勃起的地方 就是它脸上的角
the only thing horny about Moses is his face.
为您在克利夫兰动物园犀牛馆进行报道
Reporting from the Rhino Barn at the Cleveland Zoo,
我是悲痛欲绝的维多利亚·蔡斯
I am a devastated Victoria Chase.
停
And out.
如果报道这个我都拿不到奖
Well, if that doesn't win me a newsie,
真不知道什么报道能拿到
I don't know what will.
报道的目的不在于得奖
This isn't about awards,
而是为了拯救一个物种
it's about saving a species.
爱尔卡 不是我不在乎
Oh, Elka, it's not that I don't care.
好吧 是不太在乎
Or maybe it is.
但如果明天黑犀牛灭绝了
But if all the black rhinos disappeared tomorrow,
真的会有人注意到吗
would anybody really notice?
反正我是20分钟前才知道有这个物种
I mean, I didn't even know they existed until 20 minutes ago.
维多利亚 你的眼泪道具甘油找到了
Victoria, I found the glycerin for your fake tears.
太迟了 乔依
It's too late, Joy.
我被迫在镜头前流下了真实的眼泪
I was forced to cry real tears on camera.
失陪 我现在得去拿掉
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go and remove
那两个夹在我嫩嫩大腿内侧的
the two clothespins clamped to the tender flesh
晒衣夹
of my inner thighs.
那是犀牛的交♥配♥之歌♥
That's the rhino mating song.
摩西"性奋"了
Moses is aroused.
真的吗 你怎么看出来的
Really? How can you tell?
快逃 克莱门廷 快逃
Run, Clementine, run!
它为什么现在"性奋"了 是什么促使的呢
But why is he aroused now? What's changed?
是乔依
It's Joy.
你的确散发出一股很强烈的麝香
You are exuding a powerful musk.
麝香 我吗 才没有
Musk? Me? No.
也许是大蒜味吧 昨晚吃的小龙虾
Maybe a little garlic, had scampi last night.
等下 等下
Hang on, hang on.
这是个对投票者更有吸引力的故事
This might be an even better story for my newsie voters.
来自大洋彼岸 一个体味浓郁的大救星
"From across the pond, a smelly savior
使得犀牛欢愉地交♥配♥
has these rhinos literally humping for Joy."
[双关 为了乔依而交♥配♥]
什么 你不能这么说
What? You can't say that!
三 二 一
And in three, two, one...
等等 摩西停止交♥配♥了
Wait. Moses has stopped mating.
它的附睾在缩小
His epididymis is shriveling.
爱尔卡 你能往前一点站在乔依身边吗
Elka, would you come over here and stand next to Joy please?
被我猜对了
Just as I thought.
是你俩混合的费洛蒙激发了它的性♥欲♥
It's the mixture of your pheromones that's turning him on.
这太棒了 黑犀牛有救了
This is fantastic. The black rhino could be saved.
真好 我们能走了吗
That's nice. Can we go now?
不不不 你不能走
No, no, no, you can't leave
你得等到交♥配♥结束
until the mating ritual's complete.
通常说这话的人是我
Usually I'm the one saying that.
留下来 求你了
Stay, I beg you.
我会给你提供动物园终生免费
I'm willing to offer you a free zoo membership
的会员资格
for the rest of your life.
你会得到一件跟我的一样的志愿者服装
And you'll get a volunteer outfit like mine.
没有吸引力
Not helping.
求你了 乔依
Oh, please, Joy.
好吧
Oh, all right.
看样子 摩西马上就会完事了
By the looks of it, Moses will be done soon anyway.
"他"大概会穿上衣服走掉
He'll probably be dressed, gone,
跑去跟好友喝酒
and enjoying a pint with his mates
克莱门廷都还没来得及
before Clementine can even find
找到被他忽略的
the balled-up silk garter belt
揉成一团的丝绸吊袜带
he never even noticed she was wearing.
事实上 乔依 黑犀牛的交♥配♥过程
Actually, Joy, the black rhino's mating process
是很复杂的 要持续三天
is quite complex. It lasts three days.
三天
Three days?
我们要在动物园待三天?
We're going to spend three days in a zoo?
像过圣诞节一样
It's like Christmas.
《燃情克利夫兰》
第三季 第七集
爱尔卡和乔依必须得睡在笼子里吗
So Elka and Joy have to sleep in a cage?
不不 动物园的人给她们
No, no, no, no. The zoo put together
弄了个临时住所 搞了些帆布床 毯子
a little makeshift habitat with cots, and blankets, and--
我也不清楚 我先走了
I don't know. I left.
我们应该去看看她们
Well, maybe we should go visit them.
再一想
Then again,
这可是周五的夜晚
it is Friday night.
而且我们看起来美极了
And we do look fabulous.
我们刚刚打过肉毒杆菌 还是钓男人吧
And we are freshly botox-ed. I say we go fishin'!
那两位很适合钓来嵌在木板上挂起来
Ooh, those two look like they could be hooked and mounted.
我们只需搞清楚用什么饵
We just need to decide which bait to use:
抿一口 微笑
The "sip and smile"...
或者来个"轻抚秀发银铃笑"如何
Or how about the "hair flip followed by a silvery laugh"?
完美 现在咱俩一起来
Perfect. Now together.
他们上钩啦
Ooh, they're biting.
现在咱只需拉钩进网 剔骨清洗
Now we just have to clean 'em, and bone 'em.
我发誓这话在脑子里听着有爱得多
I swear that sounded cuter in my head.
我预订身穿喜感工作衫的那位
Hey, dibs on the one in the ironic work shirt.
看那强健的臂肌 太合我胃口了
Look at his arms. He is so my type.
预订无效 维多利亚
You can't call dibs, Victoria.
他们可能已经预订好咱俩了
What if they've already called dibs on one of us?
女士预订优先 男士预订靠边
No, but girl dibs supersede man dibs.
男人没什么分辨力的
Men aren't discriminating,
他们是来者不拒
they'll take whatever we give them.
你说得对
That's true.
哦不 你们听到了多少对话
Oh. Oh, no. How much did you hear?
没多少 那么 "新鲜肉毒"是吧
Not much. So, "Freshly botox-ed" Huh?
你看 乔依 我和你可不是
You know, Joy, this isn't the first time
头一次一起陷身囹圄了
you and I have been behind bars together.
我知道
I know.
看来这里比监狱要滋润些
And I suppose jail was worse than this.
至少在这儿 他们没有没收我的皮带
At least here, they didn't confiscate my belt,
我还有机会吊死自己
so I still have the option of hanging myself.
你到底在鬼叫什么
What on earth are you doing?
嘘 我在说话
Shh, I'm talking.
爱尔卡 我知道某种程度上你自诩为
Look, Elka, I know you consider yourself some sort of
[能与动物讲话的兽医]
怪医杜立德 但你不可能
Dr. Dolittle, but you can't possibly
真期待它们会回应吧
expect them to respond.
那是莫科罗 我们的小黑猩猩
That's Mokolo, our pygmy chimpanzee.
那是它对友谊的呼叫
That's his cry of friendship.
它邀请我们过去
He's inviting us over.
互相剔除毛发里的幼虱
To pick the nits out of each other's hair.
它的小屁屁可红了
Oh, he has the most colorful behind.
它有兄弟吗
Does he have a brother?
哇 三项全能运动员
Wow, a triathlete, huh?
我不爱吹嘘 不过是的
Well, I don't like to brag, but yes.
我同时也在训练铁人三项
And I'm also training for the iron man.
赢面很大 看来我还挺爱吹嘘的
Pretty good chance of winning. So I guess I do like to brag.
我还是爵士乐队成员 明晚有演出
I'm also in a jazz band. We're playing tomorrow night,
你愿意赏光就好了
if you'd like to come.
-就这么约定了 -太好了
- It's a date. - Oh, good.
我一直想让史考特去捧场
I'm always trying to get Scott here to come,
但这位参议员先生总是太忙
but "The senator" here is always too busy.
参议员
Senator?
你真是位参议员吗
You're an actual senator?
州参议员 第39区 连任四届
A state senator, 39th district, four term.
为全州人♥民♥服务这么久
Well, serving on the state level for so long,
燃情克利夫兰
Hot in Cleveland
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