燃情克利夫兰

Hot in Cleveland S03E19

Part 3 May 5, 2020, 9:47 a.m.

I'd like to keep you in my basement.
这是你的第三个念头是不是
That was your third thought, wasn't it?
对我得用手指数清楚
Yes. I need the fingers.
你今晚美得动人心魂
You look breathtaking tonight.
谢谢
Aw, thank you.
第四个念头的阿蒂还是很有魅力的
Fourth-thought Artie is a very charming guy.
我就怕这个
Oh! This is what I was afraid of!
你创造了完美男人
You created the perfect man,
然后就爱上了你的作品
and now you've fallen in love with your creation.
我真没有
No, I have not.
你掩饰得不错
You hide it well.
谈话就此结束
And we're done.
你的完美女人就在吧台边上
Your perfect woman is at the bar,
单身对男人♥大♥送秋波
Tearing up over the bachelor. No wedding ring.
她已经两杯皮诺酒下肚
She's already had two glasses of Pinot.
第三杯了
Ah, make that three.
行了女人给你找到了衬衫拿来
Okay, you got your lady, now give us the shirt.
事还没成可不能给我这有一张
Not until the deal is sealed, but here's a picture of it
衬衫和今天报纸的合照它还好着呢
with today's newspaper, so you know it's still alive.
一个醉女郎一个有钱佬
Okay, she's drunk, he's rich.
还真能擦出火花
It could work.
梅兰妮我们真做到了
Melanie, we pulled it off.
我们把阿蒂都改造成女人能接受的男人了
We've actually made artie palatable to women.
我听见了谢谢啊
I'm five feet away, and thank you!
-雅各布好 -爱德华帅
- Jacob! - Edward!
[暮光之城角色]
[饶舌界的竞争对手]
-Tupac牛 -Biggie棒
- Tupac! - Biggie!
我无意干涉你们俩的事不过你们
Look, I-I don't mean to butt in, but you two
在我耳边吵了1个多小时了
have been fighting on either side of me for over an hour.
乔依说你们是有感于我才重聚一起的
Now Joy told me that my situation inspired your reunion.
我能不能再激励你俩
Do you think there's any way that I can inspire you guys
言归于好呢人生苦短啊
to bury the hatchet? Life is short!
要死的人还真是爱唠叨
Dying guy's kinda preachy.
你看见他买♥♥的那便宜戒指了吗
Did you see the cheap ring he got her?
省这点钱留着干嘛啊
What's he saving his money for?
很高兴帮到你们
Well, glad I could help.
把雷锋精神往下传吧
Pay it forward, guys.
新娘马上就好了
The bride is almost ready.
她很紧张所以从我的医药箱里边
She's nervous, so she borrowed something blue
[婚礼习俗有借有蓝有新有旧]
借了点蓝色的东西
from my medicine cabinet.
有句话貌似我不该说出来
I suppose I didn't have to announce that,
不过我也吃了点黄色的东西所以话有点多
But I took something orange and, well, I'm a little chatty.
-事成了给 -太好了谢谢
- The deal is sealed. - Oh, great, thanks.
我们马上就要办婚礼了
Uh, we're about to have a wedding,
不过很高兴昨晚一切顺利哈
But I'm glad that things went well last night.
不昨晚可不顺利
No, things did not go well!
没错按照圣经的定义我昨晚是做了
Yes, I got, as the bible says, "Laid,"
但是每次说话前都得数到四太累了
But all that counting to four before I speak, it's exhausting.
我想要一个女人就爱我这个人
I want a woman who loves me for myself!
-就像你维多利亚 -我不爱你啊
-Like you, Victoria. - I do not love you.
骗纸
Liar!
新娘来了哦
Here comes the bride!
一身白啊
All dressed in... white!
真有勇气啊[白色显胖]
Bold choice.
乔治在哪呢他来了对吧
Where's George? He showed up, didn't he?
宝贝我在这儿呢你美得目眩神迷
I'm right here, baby. And you look insanely beautiful.
你看上去也英挺动人啊
And you look very handsome as well.
你准备好要度过3个月的幸福婚姻了吗
So are you ready for three months of wedded bliss?
绝对的
Absolutely.
你找到我的幸运衬衫了
Hey, look! You found my lucky shirt!
是吗
I did?
还真是惊喜吧
I did! Surprise!
牧师什么时候到啊
When is the minister gonna get here?
你让他几点到
What time did you tell him to come?
我还以为该你去找牧师呢
I thought the minister was your job.
我还以为是你负责
I thought it was yours.
我可以帮你们主持婚礼
Perhaps I can be of service.
我是环球生命教会的阿蒂·费尔斯通牧师
Reverend Artie Firestone, Universal Life Church.
我还是位割礼执行人
I'm also a licensed mohel,
要不要帮你们解决一下眉[龟]头之急啊
should you feel the urge to take a little off the top.
-行吗 -有啥不行
- Should we? - Why not?
来吧姐♥妹♥们♥ 我要结婚了
Come on, everybody. I'm getting married.
各位亲友今天我们齐聚一堂
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today
参加这位男士和这位女士的神圣婚礼
to join this man and woman in holy matrimony.
你乔依·斯克罗格
Do you, Rejoyla Scroggs-
这名字也太难听了吧
what a ghastly name--
-愿意接受这位男士乔治 -格罗斯
- Take this man, George... - Gross.
乔治·格罗斯作为你的合法丈夫吗
George Gross, to be your lawful wedded husband,
祸福与共
For better or for worse--
抱歉我本该关机的
Sorry, I meant to turn that off.
-是我医生打来的 -那你接吧
- Oh, it's my doctor. - Oh, you should take that.
-没事我可以不接 -别
- No, no, I could always-- - No, no, no, no.
-可能是要紧事 -好吧
- It could be important. - Hmm, okay.
马瑟尔医生
Hi, Dr. Marcil.
没事我只是在结个婚而已
No, it's okay, I'm just getting married.
真的吗你确定吗
Really? Are you sure?
这简直... 谢谢谢谢
That's-oh, thank you, thank you.
什么事到底怎么了
What? What is it?
太不可思议了
I can't believe this.
我最新的血样化验结果出来了
I just got my new blood work back,
我的寿限不止几个月而是延长到了两年
And instead of a few months, I've got more like two years.
真的吗太棒了
Really? That's amazing!
-两年耶 -整整两年
- Two years! Wow! - Two years!
-24个月 -730天
- Two years. - Two years.
-不是三个月 -不止三个月
- Not three months. - Not three months.
容我继续吗
May I continue?
当然请吧
By all means.
等等
Hang on.
咱俩都说了有很多事情
Uh, we both said there were a lot of things
忍♥三个月还勉强可以
we could put up with for three months,
像是清喉咙啦猴子蜡烛啦
Like throat clearing, and monkey candles,
-暴丑的衬衫啦 -什么暴丑的衬衫
- and ugly shirts, and-- - What ugly shirt?
当我没说
Never mind.
不过既然现在你有两年的时间
It's just that now you have all this time
去完成遗愿清单上的各种事情
to do all the things on your bucket list,
我可不想挡你的道
and I don't want to stand in your way.
有话就直说吧乔治
Be honest with me, George.
其实我还是想试试
Well, I guess I still would like to take a shot at
御女三百的滋味
sleeping with 300 women.
-什么 -不是你让我直说的嘛
- What? - You told me to be honest.
你该说你的第四个念头
You should've said the fourth thing.
你是说两年时间太长
Are you saying two years is too long
只跟我一个人滚床单太单调吗
to have sex with just me?
我...
Well, I--
如果你还能活六个月呢
What if you had six months to live?
那我还是会和你结婚宝贝
Oh, it would still be you, baby.
那九个月呢
Nine months?
应该还是你吧
Y-you...
绝对选你没跑
Definitely you, yeah.
但我现在可是有两年时间哎
But come on, two years?
我都没谈过超过两年的恋爱
That's longer than any relationship I've ever had.
是吗我怎么不知道
It is? I didn't know that.
我不了解你的地方太多了
Well, there's lots of things I don't know about you.
乔依和我订婚的时候
Hmm, when Joy and I were engaged,
我们对彼此了如指掌
we knew everything about each other.
等等你们俩竟然订过婚
Wait a minute, you two were engaged?
是为了拿绿卡不是因为爱情
It was for a green card, not for love.
骗纸
Liar!
看来你身上也有
Well, I guess there's some things
我不了解的地方
I don't know about you too.