燃情克利夫兰

Hot in Cleveland S03E22

Part 1 May 5, 2020, 9:47 a.m.

《燃情克利夫兰》
第三季第二十二集
《燃情克利夫兰》是在摄影棚观众前现场录制
Hot In Cleveland is recorded in front of a live studio audience.
[罗迪欧大道是奢华的代名词]
从罗迪欧大道到竞拍废弃储物仓
Oh, bidding on abandoned storage units.
我们真是一落千丈啊
we've come a long way from Rodeo Drive.
希望他们快点开始
I hope they start soon.
这鬼地方闻着一股旧床垫味儿
This place smells like worn-out mattresses.
你一定很有回到家的感觉吧
Oh, you must feel right at home.
天呐真的是你
Oh, my God. It is you.
能帮我签个名吗
Can I have your autograph?
人怕出名猪怕壮
I can't go anywhere.
-当然给 -谢谢
- Sure. Here you go. - Thank you.
维多利亚·蔡斯
Victoria Chase.
我还指望你会签淑女裤女士呢
Oh, I was hoping you'd sign it for Mrs. Ladypants.
像那个广♥告♥一样就算尿在裤子里
You know, like the commercial where you go in your pants,
你还笑得一脸灿烂
but you're happy about it?
我的亲娘诶
Oh, dear god.
你去过日本是吧
Uh, I take it you've been in Japan.
没有美国的电视上就有播
No, it's on tv here.
-什么 -对啊
- What? - Yeah.
我的孩子们超喜欢笑得打滚
My kids love it. They laugh.
说"那女人穿着纸尿裤呢"
They're like, "that lady's wearing diapers!"
那不是纸尿裤
They are not diapers.
是为无暇去卫生间的忙碌女性
They are stylish pants for women on the go
设计的时尚裤子
who can't stop to go.
就爱听你说这句
I love it when you say that.
太悲剧了
This is a disaster.
这些广♥告♥不应该在美国播的啊
Those commercials were never supposed to air in the U. S.
得了吧维多利亚
Oh, come on, Victoria.
有点幽默感嘛
You gotta have a sense of humor about this.
是清爽干燥的幽默感才对
A dry sense of humor.
好了各位拍卖♥♥时间到
All right, folks. It's auction time.
现在我们打开门
We're gonna open the doors
给你们几分钟时间四处看看
and give you a few seconds to look around.
不能进去
All right, you can't go inside.
不能打开任何盒子
You can't open any boxes.
谁出价最高东西就归谁
And whosever got the most money today can certainly own it.
准备好了吗
Are you ready?
我们知道规则飞机头
We know how it works, haircut.
好了各位
All right, boys and girls,
现在开始出价从低开始慢慢来
we're gonna start the bidding off low and slow.
就从这一间 20美元开始吧
And how 'bout starting that one off at about 20 bucks on this one?
20有吗 25有吗有吗
What about 20? Now 25, now 25, what about 25?
穿田径服的小姐出25美元
25, the young lady in the track suit.
30有吗
Do I hear 30?
看看那幅画
Oh, wow, look at that painting.
有点像莫奈的作品
Kind of looks like a Monet.
我觉得你说得对
I think you're right.
要是我发现了一副名画
Hey, if I found a famous painting,
那媒体就会竞相报道对不
then the media would be all over it, right?
那淑女裤的事就不会有人关心了
And then my whole ladypants thing would be forgotten.
不过我得淡定点
But I gotta play it cool.
3000美元
$3,000!
你疯了吗
What are you doing?
看来代言淑女裤没少赚啊
Somebody's got ladypants money.
恐怕这不是莫奈的画
No, I'm afraid this isn't a Monet.
不过这画家的签名像是法国人
Although the artist's signature looks French,
也许还值几个铜板
so it could be worth some "moh-nay".
抱歉热晕了就爱乱说话
Sorry. It's hot in here.
这是什么
What's this?
那是个民用电台收音机
Oh, that's a C. B. Radio, good buddy.
不知何故 70年代时
For some reason, everyone in the '70s
大家都爱和货车司机聊天
wanted to talk to truckers.
总算找到件有用的
Oh, now we're talking.
瞧瞧这丑得掉渣的玩意
Look at this ugly-ass thing.
你为什么要件没织完的羊毛衫啊
Why on earth would you want a half-knitted sweater?
每一年老年中心都会举办
Every year, the senior center has a contest
最丑陋的圣诞毛衣大赛
for the most ugly-ass christmas sweater.
天呐
Oh, my God.
马克·乔丹健胸器
A Mark Jordan bust developer.
那个我也有
I had one of those.
我高中那会做梦都想长胸
Oh, god, I wanted boobs so badly in high school.
我以为只要双峰在手万事不愁
I thought everything would be perfect as soon as I got them.
我也是这么想的
I thought that too.
事实也确实如此
And I was right.
呼叫呼叫
Breaker, breaker.
我是来自欲望都市的甜心棒棒
This is Candy Cane from the Big Dirty.
请回复
Come on back.
我的神嘞
Oh, good lord.
你不懂它的妙处
You're missing the beauty of this.
什么妙处
Which is?
这是匿名的
You're anonymous.
你想怎么吹捧自己都成
You can pretend to be anybody you want to be.
那甜心棒棒是什么样的人呢
So who's Candy Cane?
一个拍雅致色情片的
I'm a saucy little redhead
红发活泼小姑娘
who does tasteful soft-core porn...
从女性角度拍摄的那种
Uh, from a lady's point of view.
我一直都在好奇
Well, um, I've always wondered
要是当初念完大学会是怎么样
what my life would've been like if I'd stayed in college.
我在数学上很有天分
I had a certain facility for mathematics-
对数统计数列这些的
Logarithms, statistical analysis, number theory.
就跟《美丽心灵》里面那样
You know, like in a beautiful mind.
没劲
Snore.
这些货车司机对美丽心灵没兴趣
These truckers aren't interested in beautiful minds.
要有视觉感的东西
You need something visual.
你好意思说自己是一流的艺术鉴定师
How can you even call yourself a fine art appraiser?
我懂艺术
Yeah, well, I know art,
我在生活台的原创电影里
because I played a blocked artist
演过一个怀才不遇的画家
in the lifetime original movie.
《空画笔》
The empty paintbrush.
没错我是维多利亚·蔡斯
Yes, yes, I am Victoria Chase.
我
I-
不我才没有边说边尿
No, I am not going right now.
鉴定师说这画一文不值
The appraiser says that the painting is worthless,
就像我那严肃演员的名声一样
much like my reputation as a serious actress.
现在怎么办啊
Now what am I gonna do?
等等看看这个
Wait. Look at this.
画框后面有东西
There's something behind the frame.
是一个旧信封
It's an old envelope.
没准我们发现了一个秘密
Maybe we stumbled on a mystery.
我超爱秘密的
I love mysteries.
[少女侦探南茜和男友奈德携手破案的电影]
还有《神探南茜》
Didn't you just love Nancy Drew?
我想和男友奈德·尼可森
I wanted to drive around in a red roadster
一起坐红色跑车兜风
with my boyfriend, Ned Nickerson.
不过他不是很喜欢南茜是吧
Although he didn't really seem that into Nancy, did he?
现在想想他很可能是同性恋对吧
Come to think of it, he was probably gay, wasn't he?
她应该侦破这个秘密才对
Now, that's the mystery she should've solved.
把信给我好了
Will you give me that?
[威廉·赫恩登是林肯的法律合伙人]
这是一个叫林肯的写给威廉·赫恩登的信
All right, it's to a William Herndon from a. Lincoln,
华盛顿特区宾夕法尼亚大道1600号♥[白宫地址]
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, D. C.
天呐
Oh, my G-
这信是林肯总统写的
That's president Lincoln!
上面只写着是林肯
Well, it says "a" Lincoln.
又不一定就是林肯总统
We don't know if it's "the" Lincoln.
亲除了他还能是谁
Honey, who else could it be?
快看邮戳是1862年
Look, the postmark. It's 1862.
这是一封亚伯拉罕·林肯未被公开的信
This is an undiscovered letter from Abraham Lincoln.
你知道这意味着什么吗梅兰妮
Oh! Do you realize what this means, Melanie?
这件事情一旦曝光那个坑爹的广♥告♥就是浮云
This will eclipse that humiliating commercial.
林肯把我从淑女裤的