燃情克利夫兰

Hot in Cleveland S03E06

Part 1 May 5, 2020, 9:44 a.m.

《燃情克利夫兰》是在
Hot in Cleveland is recorded
摄影棚观众前现场录制
in front of a live studio audience.
你不是说看橄榄球比赛
I thought you said coming to a football game
会发现不少帅哥吗
would be great for man-watching.
是啊那边就有两个
It is. There are two over there.
抱歉我说的详细点
Oh, I'm sorry, I should have specified.
没戴狗面具的帅哥
Men not wearing dog masks.
上个厕所排成这样
This line is crazy.
我真羡慕那些大胆兼急脾气的女人
I wish I could be one of those ballsy, brash women
脱口而出去他妈的
that just says, "Screw it,"
然后大步向男厕所走去
and walks right into the men's room.
那些女人通常是喝多了
Those women are usually drunk.
去他妈的我去了
Screw it, I'm goin' in.
厕所里有隔间的对吗
There are stalls in there, right?
反正我是不知道的
Well, I'm sure I don't know.
豁出去了
Well, I don't care.
你俩看起来就是个笑话
You two look ridiculous.
[据说人一年等于狗七年]
按狗龄来算你应该有千岁了吧
What are you in dog years, like 1,000?
曼联是什么东东
And what's Manchester United?
是足球队
It's a football team.
货真价实的足球球员用脚踢不是用手抢
Real football, where the men use their feet, not their hands.
我不喜欢不会用手的男人
I have no use for men who don't use their hands.
梅兰妮你怎么像见鬼了一样
Melanie, you look like you've seen a ghost.
比见鬼更可怕没有隔间只有小便槽
Worse. No stalls, troughs for urinals,
如地狱一般的猪圈
like some sort of hellish pig farm.
醉酒大汉没准头可言
Drunken men, barely aiming.
决定了再也不找什么帅哥了
That's it. No more man-watching.
-我受够男人了 -真好笑
- I'm done with men. - You know, that's funny,
我们认识的那晚你也说过这句
but those are the exact words you used the night that we met.
没错我们都说了对吧
That's right. We all said it, didn't we?
你们几个到底是怎么认识的
Now, how did you guys meet, anyway?
爱尔卡你从没问过这类问题
Wow, Elka, you never ask questions like that.
如果是上电视我不会问
If there were a TV in view, I wouldn't,
反正也没人看说吧
But there isn't, so--
那是80年代的事了
Well, it was back in the '80s.
我在比弗利山一家酒店的屋顶上哭泣
I was on the rooftop of a hotel in beverly hills, crying.
真够丢人的
Which is really a shame,
因为那天我的发型美极了
because I was having a very good hair day.
你们不能这样对我
I deserve better than this.
我可是维多利亚·蔡斯妈的
I'm Victoria Chase, damn it!
我可是维多利亚·蔡斯
I'm Victoria Chase.
打扰下
Excuse me?
你好
Hello?
维多利亚·蔡斯
Victoria Chase?
[瞧这身麦姐式打扮]
你认出我了吗
You recognize me?
《燃情克利夫兰》
第三季第六集
我从未那么迷过麦当娜
I was never that into Madonna,
[麦姐《Vogue》MV中的经典手势]
直到你们知道的
Until, you know--
我那样打扮可漂亮了
Yeah, I looked adorable in that outfit.
你就吹吧
Yeah, right.
我当时还年轻着呢
I was a little younger.
我那时不认识你
Well, I didn't know you then.
我只能想象你现在的尊容配上那副打扮
I can only picture how you'd look in it today.
是个笑话
It's hilarious.
说我们20多也不是没人信啊
We can still pass for women in out 20s,
尤其是我们身处克利夫兰
especially since we moved to Cleveland.
你们是搬家不是坐上了时光机器
You moved, you didn't go back in time.
你是想要签名吧
Oh, well, you probably want an autograph.
要写送给谁
Uh, who shall I make it out to?
我叫梅兰妮不过很抱歉我不认识你
I'm Melanie, but I'm sorry, I don't know who you are.
你是否曾感觉不够神清气爽
Do you ever feel not-so-fresh?
不太明白
Excuse me?
别因我的美丽而憎恨我
Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.
我不恨你我都不认识你
I don't hate you. I don't even know you.
误会了这是我拍的广♥告♥中的台词
No, no, no. Those are lines from commercials I did.
男人味不过我也喜欢
Manly, yes, but I like it, too.
对不起我不太爱看电视
I'm sorry, I don't watch much TV.
电影《外星人ET》听说过吗
Well, have you heard of the movie, E.T.?
谁没看过呀
Yeah! Who hasn't?
里面有你吗
Were you in it?
我本想争取里面妈妈的角色
Well, I was up for the part of the mom.
[制片人中只有斯皮尔伯格是男滴]
我连制片人的床都上了
I even slept with the producer.
好莱坞以前的潜规则现在不顶事了
Used to mean something in this town.
我一年多没演过正儿八经的角色了
I haven't had a real acting gig in over a year.
我禁不住质问自己
And I'm starting to wonder
我的演艺生涯是否已经到头了
if it's ever going to happen for me.
别这样想
Oh, don't say that.
你看起来可有戏剧感了
I mean, you seem really theatrical.
情绪表露得非常到位
You're very in touch with your emotions.
谢谢
Oh, thank you.
我在茱莉亚音乐学院磨练过哭技[名校]
I was trained to cry at Julliard.
咱们别哭了
You know what, instead of crying,
来聊聊为什么哭吧
let's talk about why we're crying.
这主意不错
Well, that's not a bad idea.
我是个耐心的听众
And I'm a very good listener.
大多数女演员根本不听别人说话
You know, most actresses don't listen,
就是等着说自己下句台词
they're just waiting for their next line.
我来这里
Oh, well, I came here...
是来监视男朋友的
to spy on my boyfriend.
-因为我觉得... -是啊
- Because I thought... - Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm.
他背着我偷♥情♥
that he was cheating.
你想先说对吧
You want to go first, don't you?
你坚持我就不客气了
Oh, if you insist.
我来这家酒店
Um, I came to this hotel
是为了色♥诱♥我参演的一支MTV的导演
to seduce the director of this music video I appeared in.
你有份演出MTV
You're in a music video?
没错但是
Yeah, but, uh,
角色不太抢镜
it wasn't exactly a stand-out part.
停
Cut!
三号♥女郎
Girl number three--
我有名字的
I have a name.
我知道刚不是叫了吗
Yeah, I know, I just used it.
-你能站回原位吗 -抱歉抱歉
- Will you stay in your place? - Sorry. Sorry.
好的... 开始
And... action!
停
Cut!
又来了三号♥ 干嘛挤眉弄眼的
Again, number three, what's with all the emoting?
要求演技精湛如我
You know, asking someone with my training
表情不丰富如同要求火花不四溅啊
not to be expressive is like asking a flame not to burn.
我可不是人肉背景人家是演员
I am not a mannequin, I am an actress.
好的那就表演下被炒鱿鱼离开舞台吧
Right, then act like you're fired, and get off the stage.
-不但... -快走开
- No, but-- - Off the set!
导演炒了我之后我就想
So after the director fired me, I thought,
换作麦当娜会怎么做
"Well, what would Madonna do?"
于是我便双膝跪地
And so I got down on my knees.
开始祈祷吗
And prayed?
你还真够单纯的
You're a little naive, aren't you?
后来知道那导演
No, it turns out that the director was already
竟然和麦当娜本人睡过所以没成功
sleeping with the real Madonna, so it didn't work.
你比麦当娜漂亮多了
You're way prettier than Madonna.
单纯但是很有眼光嘛
Naive, but insightful.
那你又是为何哭泣
So why were you crying?
我觉得我的男友背着我偷♥情♥
Oh, well, I thought my boyfriend was cheating on me.
但我请不起私♥家♥侦♥探♥
So I couldn't afford a detective,
所以我就亲自出马了
so I thought I'd do my own snooping,
[主演可是布鲁斯·威利 85年的时候帅呆了]
就像《蓝色月光侦探社》里一样
You know, just like in Moonlighting?
你不是说你不爱看电视吗
I thought you said you didn't watch TV.
总而言之我...
Anyway, I, um--
我跟踪他来到8楼