燃情克利夫兰

Hot in Cleveland S03E13

Part 1 May 5, 2020, 9:46 a.m.

什么情况
Now what?
《燃情克利夫兰》前情回顾
Last time on Hot In Cleveland...
我跟我的前夫和他的鹦鹉复合了
I got back together with my ex-husband and my ex-parrot.
你好啊贱婆娘
Hello, bitch.
我邂逅了一位英俊的陌生人
I got lucky with a handsome stranger.
我没见到那个在婚礼上抛下我的男人
I missed seeing the guy who stood me up at the altar.
谁也不知道是同一个人
Nobody knows they're the same guy.
有甜甜圈你真是个大圣人
Doughnuts! You're a saint.
我全吃光了
I ate them all.
你个贱♥人♥
You bitch.
这话有点儿过了
That was too strong.
我只是真的好想吃甜甜圈
I--I just really wanted a doughnut.
我只是真的好想吃甜甜圈
I just really wanted a doughnut.
我说啥它都要学舌
He repeats everything I say.
这些是应急甜甜圈
They're emergency doughnuts.
我整晚没睡一直想着凯尔
I was up all night, obsessing about Kyle.
乔依真可悲她会孤独终老的
Joy's pathetic. She'll die alone.
这些话它是打哪儿学的
Where does he get this stuff?
我给凯尔发短♥信♥解释昨晚爽约的原因
I texted Kyle, explaining why I didn't show up last night
他回道 "也许这样最好"
and he texted back, "maybe it's for the best."
这话什么意思
What could that possibly mean?
说明他觉得这样再好不过了
That he thinks it's for the best.
但是他说了"也许"
But he said "Maybe".
"也许这样最好" 也就是说"也许不是"
"Maybe it's for the best," which means, "maybe it wasn't."
在我搞清楚前
And until I figure that out,
不知道怎么回短♥信♥
I have no idea what to write back.
你一定能想出怎么回最好
I'm sure you'll think of the right thing to say.
乔依会搞砸的
Joy will screw it up.
这只是这鸟的看法而已
That's one bird's opinion.
早上好猜猜我为什么穿着男人的衣服
Good morning. Guess why I am in men's clothes.
你裸着去见了个男人睡了他
You went naked to see a guy, you slept with him,
然后借他衣服穿
and you borrowed his clothes.
在我脑海里这话可没这么贱
Well in my mind, it didn't sound so cheap.
容我辩解下我可没睡那个
But in my defense, I did not sleep
我裸着去见的男人我睡了另外一个男人
with the man I got naked for. I slept with another man.
这话听起来更淫♥荡♥哈
That sounded even sluttier.
-但我俩真的一拍即合 -如果直奔主题的话
- But we did click. - Well, if you're just getting in,
你俩不知道已经合过多少次了
you must have clicked more than once.
我跟迈克斯复合了
I got back together with Max.
爱尔卡这真是太好了
Elka, that's wonderful!
恭喜你
Congratulations.
乔依你和凯尔咋样了
Joy, how did it go with Kyle?
我刚吃了十二个甜甜圈
I just ate 12 doughnuts.
你个小贱♥人♥
You bitch.
抱歉我还生着气呢
I'm sorry, I'm still mad.
亲爱的我真为你抱歉
Oh, honey, I'm so sorry.
早上好
Good morning.
老妖婆出现了老妖婆出现了
Hag alert, hag alert.
闭上你的鸟嘴
Oh, shut your seed hole.
你怎么在这儿
What are you doing here?
我以为你跟克拉克一起去了南美
I thought you were going to South America with Clark.
是打算去太激动了
Oh, I was. And it was so exciting.
我对他又有了感觉
I was actually falling for him again.
但他指责我行李带得太多
But then he accused me of bringing too much luggage
我说 "这对于《梦幻岛》
and I said, "Well that was never a problem
[一伙人流落荒岛的喜剧连续剧]
里的小姜来说可不是问题"
for Ginger from Gilligan's Island."
然后他便追问 "这个岛在哪儿"
And then he wanted to know, "where is this island?"
我便答"没人知道所以才是流落荒岛"
And I said, "well nobody knew, that was the whole point."
然后长话短说他离开我了
And then, long story short, he left me.
维多利亚真抱歉
Oh, Victoria, I'm sorry.
谢谢
Well, thank you.
但遵照我分手后的传统
But as is customary after a breakup,
我报复了他
I have revenged myself.
我偷了克拉克的一只稀有蜘蛛
I have stolen one of Clark's rare spiders
这蜘蛛的毒液
whose poisonous venom instantly
会让人立刻麻痹数小时
paralyzes you for a few hours.
你偷这个干吗
Why would you take that?
因为它还有紧肤的作用
Because it also tightens a woman's skin.
我刚给它喂牛奶时
Why, just now, I accidentally brushed a fang
不小心碰到了它的毒牙看
while milking her and...see?
这手柔软得像婴儿的屁屁
Oh, it's as soft as a baby's bottom.
不不不是婴儿的有毒的屁屁
Tut-tut-tut, as a baby's poison bottom.
来戳戳看我什么感觉都没有
Here, go ahead and poke it. I can't feel a thing.
没感觉最好我倒想被那蜘蛛咬一口
Oh, to not feel anything. I want that spider to bite me.
巧的是在过去半小时里
Well, interestingly, uh, the chances of that happening
被咬的机会大大地增加了
have gone up significantly in the last half hour.
别告诉我这蜘蛛跑掉了
Don't you dare say a spider's loose.
蜘蛛出没注意
There's a spider loose.
我可没这么说
Well, I didn't say it.
《燃情克利夫兰》
第三季第十三集
爱尔卡
Elka,
迈克斯的湖边小屋实在是太美了
Max's lake house is beautiful.
我们该多给咱屋子熏蒸杀虫
We should get our house fumigated more often.
拜托我还在哀悼呢
Oh, please, I'm still in mourning.
我们扔下那神奇的蜘蛛不管任其死去
We left that magical spider behind to die before its--
只可惜没榨得它护肤毒尽蜘蛛亡
its contributions to skin care could be fully exploited.
是凯西他快到了
Oh, it's Casey. He's almost here.
谢谢你们允许我邀请他过来
Thanks, you guys, for letting me invite him.
真希望迈克斯也在这儿
I wish Max could be here.
没男人咱只能把酒言欢
Without a man there's nothing to do up here but drink.
终于听到了这个魔法咒语
Ah, there's the magic word.
咱扔掉这些杂物从酒柜里
Let's dump these groceries and pick some boyfriends
挑些男人出来吧
out of the liquor cabinet.
那应该是凯西
Ooh, I think that's Casey.
我好想让你见到他
Oh, I can't wait for you to meet him.
蜘蛛出没注意
There's a spider loose.
你得换句口头禅了巴瑞
You need a new catchphrase, Barry.
咬我呀
Eat me.
怎么才过五小时你又性感了一些呢
Is it possible you've gotten sexier in the last five hours?
-谢谢啦 -你好我是维多利亚
- Why thank you. - Hi, I'm Victoria.
-你好我是 -凯尔
- Hi, I'm-- - Kyle!
-乔依 -是的是我
- Joy? - Yes, it's me.
我的天啊真的是你
Oh, my god, it's really you.
这是凯尔我说的那个凯尔啊
This is Kyle, the Kyle.
是这样的我不再用凯尔这个名字了
Uh, well, uh, but I'm not going by Kyle anymore.
一般用名字缩写 KC[音同凯西]
I go by my initials, K.C.
有意思
Interesting.
那可不是
I'll say.
你是怎么找到我的
How did you find me?
这个吧说来呢还是很有趣的
Uh, well, it's a--it's a--it's a funny--it's a funny--
是个有趣的故事
It's a funny story.
我我联♥系♥了他
I--I got a hold of him and--
然后带他来给你个惊喜
and brought him up here to surprise you.
是的正是
Right, yeah.
倒不是逗人发笑的有趣
It--it's really not so funny "ha ha"
而是那种有趣
as it is funny, uh...
惊喜登场的有趣
Well, here we are.
-谁在敲门 -应该是凯西吧
- And who's that? - That must be Casey, right?
我新男友的名字叫凯西
Uh, my new boyfriend's name is Casey,
发音上容易和KC搞混淆还真有趣对吧
which is funny 'cause Casey and k.C. are easily confused.
所以我们还是叫你凯尔吧
So we better call you "Kyle".
好的事情搞混淆复杂了可不好
Good, 'cause we wouldn't want things to be confusing.
我是来传福音的
Hi, have you heard the good tidings?
太好了你终于来了
Yes, you're here.
我的新男友凯西
My new boyfriend, Casey.
这不是福音是什么
I certainly call that good tidings.
我没太搞懂发生了什么事
I'm not really sure what's happening.
发生的事就是你一定饿坏了
What's happening is you must be starving.
我这就带你进厨房♥用餐宝贝儿
So let's get you in the kitchen...baby.
世界末日近在咫尺