高玩救未来

Boom... hay house, clothes string.
不 不 这不可能
No, no, this isn't happening.
这什么破衣服 福特曼 把那个给我
Fuck this shit. Futturman, give me those.
我穿裤子
I wear the pants.
妈的
Oh, shit.
我们好像来到内战时期了
I think we landed during the Civil War.
好吧 幸运的是 堪萨斯州貌似距离
Well, luckily for us, Kansas is pretty far away
北方前线很远
from... the Northern front?
滚开
我可以卸手
I can de-arm this woman.
你是说解除武装吗 拿走她的武器
You mean, disarm? Like, take her weapon away?
不要摘甜菜根
是的 我会夺走她的枪
Yeah, I will take her gun
同时把她的胳膊扯下来
when I take her arm off at the shoulder.
我会杀了你
我们已经不在《十项死亡全能》里了 好吗
We're not in The DieCathlon anymore, okay?
镇静 学着点
Just... just take it easy and watch and learn.
你好
Hello.
小偷
你好 我们需要食物
Hi, hi... we, uh... we need food
以及住所
and, uh, and shelter.
我们可以做苦力
Uh, we can do hard work.
收割
Uh... harvest?
改善房♥屋
Um... home improvement.
以及琐碎的东西
And odds and ends.
琐碎的东西 去他妈的
Odds and ends? Fuck that.
我们提供些什么
What are we offering here?
好
那个应该是同意的意思
I think that means, "Yes."
没问题 我哪也不去
Sure, man, I'm not going anywhere...
拜托 我知道你们有帮手
Come on, I know you had help.
你们这么蠢 不可能自己摸索出来的
You are far too stupid to have figured this out on your own.
给我点有用的信息 任何信息都行
Give me something... anything.
天 我爱鹰嘴豆
Oh, man. I love chickpeas.
他是怎么
How did he...
鹰嘴豆
chickpeas.
好多了
That is so much better.
我要福特曼自言自语的所有内容的副本
I need transcripts of every conversation Futturman had with himself.
然后我需要你抹除服务器
Then I need you to wipe the server,
然后抹除这次对话的记忆
then I need you to wipe your memory of this conversation.
必须按照这顺序来做
And you should do it in that order
不然你会很困惑
or you will be very confused.
明白 圣·杰克洛普先生
Yes, sir, Mr. Saint Jackalope.
在这睡觉
好的 谢谢
Oh, hay... okay, cool. Arigato.
不 你说这是内战期间的堪萨斯州
No. You said this was Kansas in the Civil War.
或者一战中的俄♥罗♥斯♥
Or Russia during World War I.
我说对了战争
I got the war part right.
该死
Ah, shit.
你怎么就已经睡着了
How are you already asleep?
我们小时候条件很差 乔西
We grew up hard, Josh.
我在石头 钢铁都睡过
I've slept on stone, steel.
甚至火上
I've slept on fire.
这根本不算什么
This is nothing.
就是尖尖的枝条到处戳我
Just prickly sticks jabbing me everywhere!
谁有发现
Who's got something?
我 但我觉得不可能是他们
I've got something, but I don't think it can be them.
两条时间线暂时合并了
Two timelines just momentarily merged.
这里 一只翼手龙
Right here, a pterodactyl barrel-rolled
在1♥8♥9♥3年芝加哥世界博览会上滚进了苏珊·B·安东尼
into Susan B. Anthony at the Chicago World's Fair in 1♥8♥9♥3.
我的逃犯怎么能做到这个
How could my fugitives do that?
他们没有
They didn't.
这应该是时间衰退
I think we're looking at Temporal Decay.
就像是个黑洞 不过是针对时间的
It's like a black hole but for time.
越来越大
And it's getting bigger.
最终它会把所有时间线都吸进去
Eventually it will suck every timeline into it.
就是它了 大吸 全部证据都有
This is it, the Big Suck. All the evidence is there.
时间重叠 未来和过去同时存在
Time overlapping, future and past existing simultaneously,
时空关系自我塌陷
spacetime collapsing in on itself...
除非我的三个逃犯坐在那只翼手龙上
Unless my three rode in on that pterodactyl,
我不在乎
I don't care.
两周后
猎虎 你那是什么技术
Tiger, what is that technique?
你不能直接拔♥出♥来♥
You can't just yank it out of the ground.
你要用小铲子
You use your trowel, okay?
先小铲四下 松土
Four quick scoops, loosen the soil,
然后让甜菜根来到你手上
then you just let the beet come to you.
不算 好吗 你从我篮子里偷的
Doesn't count, okay? You stole it from my basket.
我不是 我不是农民
I am not... I am not a farmer, okay?
我不该在田地里干活
I'm not meant to work the land.
我是斗士 我需要打斗
I'm a fighter, and I need some goddamn action.
再说 我最近一直在拉血
Plus, to top it all off, I've been shitting blood.
多半是甜菜根
It's probably just the beets.
真希望是血
I wish it were blood.
我不知道你在抱怨什么
Look, I don't get what you're complaining about.
我们在为正当的工钱做着正当的活
We are doing honest work for honest wages.
不好意思
Excuse me, all right?
这是第一次
For the first time in, like, ever,
我们没被人追赶 我们很安全
we're not being chased by anybody and we're safe.
我难得擅长一件事
And I'm good at something.
所以这地方很垃圾啊
That's what sucks about this place.
太无聊了 连你都擅长
It's so boring, even you're good at it.
告诉我
Hey, tell me...
再跟我说说《十项死亡全能》
just... just tell me again about The DieCathlon.
天 一定要讲吗
Oh, God. Do I have to?
你所向披靡 很强大
You were dominant. Powerful.
我是最棒的 对吗 我有奖杯
I was the best, right? I had trophies.
是的 猎虎 每天都有新奖杯
Yes, Tiger. New trophies every day.
大多数是角和牙齿
Mostly horns and teeth.
第27天的时候 你和一个叫格帝的小妖精成了朋友
On Day 27 you did befriend a Hobgoblin named Gerty.
格帝 我喜欢
Gerty, eh? I like that.
然后你一意识到她只是想要得到你的神奇杜松子后
Then you, uh, stabbed her in the throat once you realized
你就刺穿了她的喉咙
she was just after your magical juniper berries.
听上去我很开心
Sounds like I was happy.
是啊 你确实经常笑
Yeah... yeah, I mean, you did smile a lot.
不知道那是不是快乐的健康形式
Not sure it was the healthiest form of happiness...
事实是 没有什么感觉能超过
Truth is, no feeling can compare to the pure joy
当你拔出一株"名人堂成员"时所体验到的纯粹喜悦
that you experience when you pull out a Hall of Famer
就像这个
like this one.
看看它
Look at this guy!
-天 -结束了
- Oh, man. - Okay, we're done.
不是吧
Come on.
你不是唯一一个有奖杯的人 猎虎
You're not the only one who's got a trophy, Tiger!
我支持她 乔西
I'm with her, Josh.
你得盯住目标 心无旁鹜
You've got to keep your eyes on the prize.
记住 那目标就是家
Remember, that prize is home.
我知道 但是从她身上拿到TTD
Yeah, I know, but getting the TTD from her
完全不可能 而这个很简单
is, like, impossible and this is really easy.
如果你无法拿到
If you cannot take it,
你就只能说服她离开这个时间线
you'll have to convince her to leave this time
带你来找我
and bring you to me.
你说得对
You're right...
我也不知道 我只是没想到这个破地方
I don't know, I just didn't expect this horrible place
能有这样的意外之魅
to contain such unexpected beauty.
简直难以忍♥受
This is unbearable.
我知道 数以千计的人在死亡
I know. Thousands of people dying.
一战最糟糕了
World War I was the worst.
不 那部分是白色噪音
No, that part's white noise.
我说的是这堆干草
I'm talking about this hay.
士兵在战壕里被屠♥杀♥
Soldiers are getting slaughtered in trenches
而你在抱怨干草
and you're complaining about hay?
战壕
Trenches, huh?
带风景的下水道 天 我好想要一个沟渠
Sewers with a view. God, I love me a trench.
乔西 机会来了
Josh, an opening!