高玩救未来

然后你来了
And then you arrived!
但你不是一个人
But you weren't alone.
你带了其他人一起来
You brought others with you.
他们跟我们不一样
They-they weren't like the rest of us.
他们和我们没有共同的价值观
They didn't share our values.
也许他们根本就没有价值观
Maybe they didn't have any values at all.
你让异教♥徒♥入侵了我们的圣地
You let infidels invade our holy land!
他发飙了 原形毕露了
There he is. There he is.
我试着让你理解 但你拒绝听进去
I tried to make you understand, but you refused to listen.
所以我理所当然只能割掉你的耳朵
So naturally, I sliced off your ear.
理所当然
Naturally?
我说 "现在你耳朵在我手上了[你必须听我说话了]"
I said, "Now I have your ear!"
这个梗他也没笑
He didn't laugh either.
他扑过来掐我脖子 我也掐住他的
He lunged for my jugular, I lunged for his.
我们摔成一团 滚下山
We fell down in a heap, rolled down a hill.
等我们终于滚到山脚时 他已经死了
By the time we got to the bottom, he was dead,
被勒死的
strangled.
我最好的朋友死在了我的臂弯中
My best friend died in my arms.
因为你的手臂勒住了他的脖子啊
Because they were around his neck.
其他人把我流放了
The others exiled me,
把我丢出时间大门
tossed me through the big time door,
我在时空中漫无目的地穿越
thrust randomly through space and time
无法控制我到达什么地点和时间
with no control of where or when I landed.
结果我来到这里 随身之物只有你的耳朵和梦想
That put me here with nothing but your ear and a dream,
梦想有一天能回到港湾
to one day get back to Haven.
你说怎么样 乔西
So what do you say, Josh?
你我一起
You and me, together.
重头来过
A do-over.
不 不 不 绝对不要
No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
知道吗
You know what?
你骗我一次 是...是你可耻
You fool me once, shame on-- shame on you!
你骗我... 你休想再被骗第二次
You--you fool me-- you can't get fooled again!
正确的谚语是"骗我一次 是你可耻 骗我两次 是我蠢"
或"骗我一次 就休想再骗我第二次"
出去 快点
Get out! Go, go!
-乔西 你不是这样的人 -走 走
- Uh, Josh. This isn't you. - Go, go!
我♥操♥ 有好戏看
Oh shit, here we go!
你不会朝我开枪的 我是你的朋友
You would never shoot me. I'm your friend.
真的吗
Oh, really?
本·拉♥登♥ 我看你叫本·大话精才对
Bin Laden, more like been lying!
首先 怼得有才 本·大话精
First of all, great burn. Been lying.
其次 终于嗝屁了 去死吧 本·拉♥登♥
Second of all, yes, finally! Fuck you, bin Laden!
太绝了 这一枪妙到毫巅
That was crazy. What a shot.
乔西亚·萨沙·福特曼的汗 追踪
你本来想鸣枪警告而已 对吧
Oh, tried to fire off a warning shot?
我是朝角落开的枪
I--I was aiming in the corner.
好好好 知道了
Right, right, right. Yeah.
先打中了斧头 然后反弹到水壶后加速了
Hit the axe, picked up speed when it hit the kettle.
我靠
Well, I'll be.
等大家听说你干掉了野人山姆·布拉♥登♥后
When folks hear you're the man who took out Wild Sam Bladden,
你这辈子喝酒都不用再花钱了
you'll never have to pay for a drink again.
人都到齐了
Whole gang's here, I see.
看来你的小峰会
Oh, guess your little summit
把所有大人物都请来了
brought all the big boys to town.
峰会 不
Summit? No.
我是通过这个找到你们的
You were found out through this.
《猎虎和熊》
"本励志荒诞故事
"The inspirational tall tale
讲述了一名设陷阱能力堪比男人的大胡子女士"
of the bearded-lady who traps like a man."
这是原始女权主义的经典之作
It's a proto-feminist classic.
我要留着这个 看起来不错
Okay, so I'm keeping this. This is great.
暴狼 在更多时间警♥察♥来之前把他杀了
Wolf, go ahead and kill him before we gets more Time Cops.
我和时间警♥察♥不是一伙的
I'm not with the Time Cops.
我来这里另有原因
I'm here for another reason‐‐
还你们自♥由♥
to grant you your freedom.
我是指全面大赦
I'm talking full amnesty.
不需要 我们已经自♥由♥了
Don't need it. We're already free.
你们不能永远这样
You guys can't keep this up forever.
你已经遇到了杀人机器
You already encountered The Killing Machine.
是黏液
It's goo.
这黏液不错
Oh, that's good goo.
那是当然
Sure as hell is.
顺便提醒一下 杀人机器
And by the way, FYI, The Killing Machine?
无法被阻止
He can't be stopped,
但如果你把我送去港湾
but you deliver me Haven,
我就把你送到你想去的时间线
I'll deliver you to the timeline of your choice,
不留痕迹
records wiped clean.
所以我们应该把天堂拱手让给你
So we're supposed to just hand over paradise to you.
天堂 原来如此
Paradise? Oh, I get it.
奥萨马·本·拉♥登♥许诺给你天堂
Osama bin Laden promised you paradise.
真不愧是他
Pretty on‐brand.
都是他的花言巧语 老兄
It's kind of his whole shtick, dude!
去他妈的
Holy shit.
港湾不是天堂 港湾很可怕
No, Haven is not paradise. Haven's an awful place.
那是穷凶极恶的罪犯的藏匿之处
It's a hideout for the worst criminals time has ever known.
所以你们三个人才有机会进去
That's how you three can gain access.
如果我们交出了罪犯 电视台会满足我们一切
The Network will give us anything if we bring them in.
我们为什么要相信你
All right, why should we trust you?
因为我也是破釜沉舟
'Cause I'm risking everything too.
没人知道我在这儿
No one knows I'm here.
这和电视节目 收视率没关系
This isn't about a TV show or ratings.
我只想保护我的家人
This is about protecting my family.
你们可能会有共鸣
Something maybe you can relate to.
港湾不存在于时空中 相信我
Haven does not exist in time or space. Believe me,
我们曾耗费大量时间寻找它
we spent a shitload of time looking for it.
只有从内部才能让它显示在地图上
The only way to put it on a map is from inside,
这也是这些定位设备要做的事
and that's exactly what these geolocation devices will do.
拿好了
Take them.
如果我们做到了 我只是说如果
So if we do this, and I'm only saying if...
你能把我的记忆全部清空吗
Can you do a full memory wipe thing on me?
这样我就可以忘记
So I can forget everything that's happened to me
离开家后的所有事
since I left home?
像电影《暖暖内含光》里的一样
I'm talking Eternal Sunshine here.
可以做到 小单纯
Yeah, Spotless Mind. We can do that.
你所要做的就是进入港湾
All you have to do is get to Haven,
激活那些设备
activate those devices.
我会得到信♥号♥♥
That will send me a beacon,
然后过去处理剩下的部分
I'll show up and do the rest.
我要走了
All right, I have to go.
我女儿要和《弄臣》里的帕瓦罗蒂机器人
My daughter is performing opposite of Robo‐Pavarotti
演对手戏
in Rigoletto.
祝你们好运
Good luck.
你刚才想把我们从你的人生中抹去吗
You just wanna erase us from your entire life?
不 他不是那个意思
No, that's not what he's saying.
你不是那个意思吧
That's not what you're saying.
我就是这个意思
That's exactly what I'm saying.
我想回到遇见你俩前的时候
I wanna go back to the moment
然后彻底遗忘
before I met you two and‐‐and completely forget
后来发生的一切
that any of this ever happened.
等等 你要和我们绝交吗
Wait, wait, so you're breaking up with us?
我要在我的手上写
I'm gonna‐‐I'm gonna make a note on my hand that says,
"乔西 不要去打仿生战争
"Josh, do not beat Bionic Wars.
那会毁了你的生活"
It will ruin your life."
我们没有毁掉你的生活 我们爱你
We didn't ruin your life. We love you.
我们从来没想分开
We don't ever wanna be apart.
什么
What?
你们在说什么
What are you guys talking about?
这么说没用 我们相处得并不愉快
This is not working. We are not getting along.
什么时候开始的 太伤我心了
Since when? Oh, I'm reeling.
你说的毫无根据
This is coming out of nowhere.
-我以为我们很幸福 -幸福
- I thought we were happy. ‐ Happy?
你们 你们一直把我当成废物
You‐‐you guys treat me like shit all the time.