高玩救未来

How would I possibly know where you'd turn up?
不幸的是
Unfortunately...
电视台有各种方法
The network has all kinds of ways
追踪它的财产
of tracking its property.
该死 甘地
God damn it, Gandhi,
现在不是冥想的时候
now is not the time to meditate!
快点
Come on, guys.
我最好的朋友奥萨马·本·拉♥登♥说天堂在等着我们
My best friend Osama bin Laden says paradise awaits.
-这边是港湾 我们走 -靠
- Haven this way, let's go. - Oh, shit.
大吸倒计时
我不了解你们
I don't know about you guys.
但我准备好什么都不要了
But I am ready to want for nothing.
快来 快来
Come on. Come on. Come on.
港湾等着我们呢
Haven awaits.
对于一个无法阻挡的杀人机器来说
You know, for an unstoppable killing machine,
你可真是喜欢甜食
someone's got a sweet tooth.
小路到此为止
Trail ends here,
不过对你来说 朋友 旅程才刚刚开始
but for you, my friend, the journey is just beginning.
真棒
Awesome.
啤酒桶"完"了 你也一样
Keg's dusted, and so are you.
扔桶
Keg toss!
想要打死我的书呆子
Trying to shoot my nerd?
我的书呆子
My nerd?
他们说这里面的钠能杀死你
They say the sodium in this stuff will kill you.
我想我的名字是钠
Guess my name's sodium.
你肯定希望你有降低这玩意的属性级吧
Bet you wish you'd turned this thing's field level down.
听着 抹除她的记忆 重新编程
Look, just wipe her memory and reprogram her.
让她做小的引擎修复
Have her do small engine repair.
别杀她
Just don't kill her.
她 你是说它吧 你可以跟它道别了
Her? You mean it, and you can kiss it good-bye.
不
No!
她不是它
She's not an it.
她叫斯坦莉
Her name is Stanley,
她是我女儿 混♥蛋♥
and she's my daughter, you son of a bitch.
你习惯于杀人
You're conditioned to kill.
这是你的工作
It's what you do.
这是你的特色 但是在某个地方
It's who you are, but somewhere,
在你编程里的某个地方
somewhere in your programming
有一段代码好奇着
there's a curious bit of code wondering,
"我就是这样的人吗"
"Is that all I am?"
你 你记起来了
You're--you're remembering
你在斯巴达的生活
a life in Sparta,
一个属于你自己的生活
a life that was all your own,
战前的生活
life before wartime
坚持我们心中的自己 这是...
holding on to who we think we are. It's a great--
这是很好的慰藉
it's a great comfort,
但同时也是牢笼
but it's also a cage.
好了 斯坦莉 她...
All right, Stanley, she's--
她死透了
she's very dead.
这就过度杀伤了 亲爱的
That's-that's just overkill, sweetie.
知道吗 都怪我
Oh, actually, you know what? That's my bad.
我把你设置得远超过正常杀戮
I've got you set way past normal kill.
好了
There we go.
爸爸 你救了我
Daddy, you saved me.
不 亲爱的 是你救了我
No, sweetie, you saved me.
谢谢你救了我们
Thank you for saving us.
不 不 谢谢你们才是
No, no, thank you.
我了解你们的挣扎
I know your struggle.
我了解不被爱的滋味
I know the pain of being unloved.
但现在我知道我未来的方向就是帮助他人
But I know now that my path lies in helping others.
我们该叫你什么[给你叫什么]
Well, what should we call you?
我不需要认可
I don't need recognition.
我是无名氏
I'm nobody.
不 我是说我们要该你叫救护车
No, I mean should we call you an ambulance,
还是你想打车去医院
or do you want to take a taxi to the hospital?
大吸倒计时
老天 快点 不 不是叫你 耶稣
Jesus Christ, hurry up. No, not you, Jesus.
我知道你穿着拖鞋已经尽力了
I know you're doing the best you can in those sandals.
你有什么借口 罗伯托·克莱门特
What's your excuse, Roberto Clemente?
真混♥蛋♥
Wow, what a dick.
你♥他♥妈♥到底在做什么 哥们
What exactly are you doing, dude?
我不得不使用全宿舍的网络来下载所有电影
I had to use the whole dorm's network to get all the movies
这样我就能成为拥有所有电影的人
so I could be the guy who had all the movies.
我要怎么知道其中一个资料有毒
How was I supposed to know that one of the files was corrupt?
该死的滑动门
Fucking sliding doors.
有时我会想要是我没有下载那部电影
Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like
我的生活会是什么样子
if I didn't download that movie.
等等 所以这一切就是因为你想
So wait, all of this is because you're trying to give
给所有人传播一个新的电脑病毒
everyone a new computer virus
好掩盖你已经传给他们的那个
to cover up for the one you already gave them?
时代 但他们还不知道我给了他们
Yeah, but they don't know I gave it to them yet,
而且我可以甩锅给千年虫 我有时间
and I can blame it all on Y2K. I got time.
上学期对我来说就是地狱 没有朋友
Last semester was hell for me, no friends.
所有人都叫我大时 因为我提到过一次
Everyone calls me Big Time, because once I mentioned
我曾是绳球二队队长
I was JV tetherball captain.
-大时 -我知道 那还是
- Oof, Big Time. - I know, and that was before
在我毁了大家的电脑之前
I destroyed everyone's computers.
要是他们发现这事
If they find out about this,
下学期将会更惨
next semester will be even worse.
我懂这种感觉
You know, I really understand the feeling
想要按下按钮 撤销你的所有错误
of wanting to press a button and undo all your mistakes.
我们有时间
We got time.
这计划不错
This is a good plan.
能成
It'll work.
他们在哪
Where are they?
拜托 快啊
Come on, come on.
我能弥补
I can fix this.
我能弥补 我能弥补
I can fix this. I can fix this. I can fix this.
你知道
Do you know
同样的话我说过多少回吗
how many times those exact words have come out of my mouth?
但你弥补不了
But you can't fix it.
木已成舟
What's done is done.
你现在唯一能做的就是
All you can do now is--
尽量优雅和勇敢地
is try to handle these consequences
应对这些后果
with a little bit of grace and a little bit of courage.
你不明白 这是世界末日
You don't understand. This is the end of the world.
我知道感觉是这样
I know that it feels like that to you,
但其实不是
but it isn't.
世界有种病态的幽默感
The world has a sick, sick sense of humor,
你想象不到 它对你
and it will surprise you how it reacts
试图弥补错误的方法♥会♥作何反应
to all your little ways to fix things.
你会到一个
You end up in a very,
非常奇怪的地方 气氛完全不同
very weird place with a very different vibe,
那个绳球会猛地转回来
and that tetherball thing comes back in a big way.
-什么 -重点是
- What? - The point is,
你没法掩盖你的错误 好吗
you can't cover up your mistakes, okay?
你可以承认 你可以从中吸取教训
You can own them. You can learn from them.
你可以让它们成为你的一部分
You can make them a part of who you are.
性格就是这样炼成的
That is how you build character.
让这一刻成为你角色的起源故事
Let this moment be the origin story for your character.
跟过去的你告别
Say good-bye to the old you.
成长起来 向前看
Grow up. Move on.
我们不能回去
We can't go back.
不 不
Oh, no. Oh, no.
如果我们在外面 我们就没时间了
Oh, if we're out here, we're out of time.
Six, five, four, three, two, one.
异常现象停止了
The anomalies have stopped.
不过是暴风雨前的宁静
Just the calm before the real shit storm.
我们死在一起
We die together,
这样也挺好
a good death.
我有个没用的怀表送你
I have a useless pocket watch for you
以及给你的纪念品头带
and a souvenir headband for you.