高玩救未来

暴狼 你是建立了一个繁荣的国际商业中心吗
Wolf, did you build a thriving international hub of commerce?
不是
No.
我就是个顾问
I served in a consulting capacity.
不是什么正式工作 我在这儿就是小人物
Nothing formal. I'm nobody here.
别来烦我
Just go on.
他只是糊涂了
He's just confused.
相信我 在这里我就是一个幽灵 一个影子
Trust me, around here, I'm a ghost, a shadow.
完全没有以我命名的东西
My name's on nothing.
可是有你的牌子啊
Your brand is.
该死的
Damn it.
狼对莫霍克人来说是神圣的
Wolves were sacred to the Mohawk
早在我来之前就这样了
long before I got here.
我只想和阿科纳谈谈新的库存
I just need to talk to Acona about the new inventory.
秋天的重点是海狸
Fall is all about beavers.
你又来了 你会害我们被抓的
You're doing it again. You're gonna get us caught.
有什么消息吗
维京人加入了
干得漂亮
暴狼 你答应过
Wolf, you promised‐‐
乔西 我必须打断你
Josh I'm gonna stop you right there.
卖♥♥皮草的关键就是建立关系
Selling fur is all about building relationships,
所以 是的 我来到这里后
So, yes, when I come to the post,
我稍微出了点小主意
I kibitz a bit.
正如卢·沃瑟曼所说
As Lew Wasserman said,
"每段对话
"Every conversation
都是伪装的商务会谈"
is a business meeting in disguise."
但你不用担心我
But don't you worry about me.
跟达莎那次我已经吸取了教训
I learned my lesson with Dasha.
这就是为什么我只接受不识字的情人
That's why I've only been taking illiterate lovers.
暴狼 我说的不是这教训 你知道的
Wolf, that was not the lesson, and you know it.
我们去看医女吧
Shall we go see the medicine woman?
好
Okay.
别催我 别催我
Don't push me. Don't push me.
她说你痛苦的源头不是你的腿
She says it's not your leg that's the source of your pain.
当然是我的腿 不然还会是什么
Of course it is. What else would it be?
精神危机
A spiritual crisis.
什么 太荒谬了
What? That's ridiculous.
在她看来 那个精神危机的本质是什么
What would be the nature of that crisis, in her opinion?
治愈你的心灵 身体自会痊愈
她刚才是说了些深奥的话吗
Did she just say something profound?
她的每句话都很深奥
She always does.
畅所欲言
Speak freely.
这顶蒙古包下说什么都没关系
This is a judgment‐free yurt.
八个月来 我一直在跟上帝对话
I've been talking with God for the last eight months.
他就在我脑子里 告诉我该怎么做
He lives inside my ear, and he tells me what to do.
我们非常亲近
We're, like, super, super close.
他甚至让我叫他朋友
He even has me call him friend.
但现在 我们似乎在...斗气
But right now, we're in, like, a fight,
我也不知道我们算什么关系
and I don't know what to make of it anymore.
我开始觉得一切都是我脑子里的幻觉
I'm starting to think it's all in my head,
我可能是快疯了
and I'm just going crazy.
乔西 不要纵容自己这么想
Josh, do not go down this road.
还记得黏液的奇迹吗
Remember the Miracle of the Goo?
黏液 那就是个把手
Goo? It was a knob.
我自己的手找到一个把手
Okay, I found a knob with my hand.
这种事我自己就完全做得到
That's something I could've done on my own completely.
我不是白♥痴♥
I'm not an idiot.
对不起
Sorry.
没事的
It's okay.
你耳朵里的小上帝说了什么
What's... tiny ear God saying now?
他告诉我他是真的
He's telling me that he's real.
但是 什么样的上帝会比我还不了解《圣经》呢
But what kind of God knows less about the Bible than me?
我是说 他不是应该无所不知吗
I mean, isn't he supposed to be omniscient?
什么样的上帝会让我的腿被捕兽夹夹住
What kind of God would let my leg get caught in a bear trap?
那是你自找的 兄弟
That's so on you, bro.
开始了
Whoa, it's happening.
别反抗 乔西
Don't fight it, Josh.
让她进来
Let her in.
她说得对
She's right.
我不相信自己
I don't believe in myself.
我是逆潮游泳的鲑鱼
I am a salmon swimming against a tide
那潮水就是我对自己的怀疑
of my own self‐doubt.
我创造了一个神灵 只是为了让自己心存希望
I created a sky genie just to give me hope.
乔西 别在我们这么近的时候抛弃我
Josh, don't abandon me when we are this close.
你知道吗 兄弟
You know what, bro?
我受够了
I'm done.
我放走你
I release you.
你放走我
You release me?
你知道吗 好吧 就这样吧
You know what? Fine, be that way.
真正的上帝才不需要甩门而去呢
A real God wouldn't have to slam a door.
喂
Hello?
他走了
He's gone.
我自♥由♥了
I'm free.
她问我们要不要留下来
She's asking if we want to stay
在汗水小屋刮胡子
for a shave in a sweat lodge.
这里星期二生意比较淡
Tuesdays are pretty slow around here.
好啊 听起来不错
Oh. Yeah, that sounds great.
我觉得自己变轻了
I feel lighter.
你是变轻了
Well, you are lighter.
一次桑拿之后
I usually drop three to four LBs
我通常能减掉3到4磅
of a liquid stress after a good schvitz.
是啊
Yeah.
你知道吗 能跟你这样真实存在的人聊天
Yeah, and you know what? It was just nice to talk to somebody
我真的很高兴
who was actually there.
既然你已经意识到你永远回不了家了
Well, now that you realize you're never going home,
你可以专心享乐 不顾其他了
you can focus on being happy in the here and now.
"永远"可说不定 毕竟永远不要说"永远"嘛
I wouldn't say "Never." You know, never say never.
通常 我会同意你的看法
Normally, I'd agree with you,
但这种情况除外
except in this case.
我们是历史上最知名的通缉犯
We are history's most wanted fugitives.
全宇宙所有姓福特曼的人家门口外
A couple of five‐Os are definitely stationed
肯定都有几名特警在站岗
outside of every Futturman household in the universe.
耳朵里的小上帝给你绕过他们的计划了吗
Did tiny ear God give you a plan to get past them?
没有
No.
我想他更像是那种着眼大局的上帝
I guess he was more of, like, a big picture sort of God.
又一个你可以骂他胡扯的理由
Yet another reason you should've called bullshit.
细节定成败 上帝也不例外
God is in the details.
是啊 我猜
Yeah, I mean, I guess that...
每一个其他姓福特曼的人家
every other Futturman house
都会有另一个版本的我
would have another version of me.
所以你必须杀了他们才能取代他们
So you would have to kill to take their place,
这还是最好的情况
and that's the best‐case scenario.
更有可能的是 时间警员杀了你父母
No, more likely, time constables kill your parents,
把他们变成生化人 然后让他们折磨你
turn them into cyborgs, and use them to torture you.
所以严格来讲 在那个版本里你可以回家
So in that version you technically could go home,
但你的机器人父母会杀了你
but your robot parents would kill you.
乔西 这就是你想要的吗
Is that what you want, Josh?
让你的机器人父母杀了你
Your robot parents to kill you?
不是
No.
等等
Wait.
我刚刚有了一个能改变一切的想法
I've just had an idea that'll change everything.
什么 快告诉我
What? Tell me.
素食狂欢节
Vegan carnitas.
这是国王牛肝菌
These are King Boletes.
它们的浓度够大
They have the perfect density
能让假墨西哥菜变得极品美味
to make faux‐Mex taste like "Fuck yes."
总而言之 你永远回不了家了
So to sum up, you're never going home,
你的上帝死了 塔可星期二开始了
your God is dead, and taco Tuesday is on.
大白 大白 大白
Whitey, Whitey, Whitey.
看起来你也没比一般的熊更聪明
Looks like someone's not smarter than the average bear,
因为你刚刚走进了由我的陷阱
because you've just wandered into a sea
组成的...
of my very best