高玩救未来

但是我们会记得
'Cause we do.
我告诉你 我们会一直重复玩
I'm telling you we are gonna keep playing this game
几乎相同的游戏 直到死掉
again and again with slight variations until we're dead.
即使这是真的 虽然并不是
Okay, even if that were true, which it isn't,
这也不是最坏的死法
I can think of worse ways to go.
-你必须相信我 -我不相信 抱歉
- Y-you have to believe me! - No, sorry.
我很适应这样的重复
My radar is finely tuned to repetition.
即便是在大家都吵着要
Even back at the restaurant when everyone was clamoring
狼心招牌菜的餐厅
for Wolfheart staples,
我还是每天都更新菜单
I changed the menu every goddamn day.
真是个糟糕的经营模式
Now, that's a terrible business model,
但真正的艺术家总不懈于创新
but, well, a true artist never repeats himself.
你所描述的情景太可怕了
What you're describing, well, that sounds like hell.
乔西 这些人真烦
Josh, these people are awful.
你不需要他们
You don't need them.
我可以带你回家 跟我来
I can lead you home. Follow me.
我不 我不能抛弃他们
I can't--I can't just abandon them, okay?
我们准备回胜利者大厅
We're gonna go back to the Victor's Lounge.
不好意思 胜利者特权哦
Yeah, sorry. Victors only.
再见 乔西
Good-bye, Josh.
伙计们 快回来 别这样
Guys, come on! Don't just--
看看他们多快就甩了你
See how quickly they leave you behind?
你得以牙还牙
You must do the same.
这只是我们的相处模式
That--that's just like our-- our dynamic, okay?
这很有意思
It's--it's fun.
如果要甩掉他们
If we're gonna do this,
也得按照我的意思来
we're gonna do things my way, all right?
告诉我要知道什么就行了
Just tell me what I need to know.
《十项死亡全能》第三天
狂暴人猿阵
伙计们 听着 我们必须离开这里
Guys, listen. We have to get out of here,
唯一的出路就是电梯
and the only way is through this elevator.
否则 我们会死在这里
Otherwise, we're dead, eventually.
你在说什么 他在说什么
What are you talking about? What is he talking about?
不知道 没意思
No idea. Sounds boring.
这是唯一可以交谈的地方
And this is the only safe place that we can talk.
第四天
这是个旧电梯
Okay, this is, like, a really old elevator,
它会穿过一片磁性岩区
and it passes through, like, a magnetic rock section,
然后监控摄像头会被卡住
and then the cameras get jammed.
等等我
Guys, wait for me!
棒球
Baseball?
我只想睡觉
I just want to sleep!
第五天
第七天
我告诉你们 你们的记忆被清除了
I am telling you, you memories have been wiped.
第十二天
你们必须相信我 拜托了
You have to believe me, please!
第十五天
第十六天
拜托关掉 不
Please turn it down! No!
第十七天
第二十天
第二十三天
第二十四天
第二十五天
不觉得很奇怪吗
Don't you guys think it's a little weird
第二十八天
我知道你们要说什么
that I know everything you're about to say?
不觉得 好吧
No? No reaction? Okay.
约翰福音 神爱世人
开玩笑的 根本没有神
老兄 躲猎虎和暴狼身后吧
放出章鱼皮特
我告诉你们
I'm telling you guys,
第三十八天
这是我们唯一能逃出去的办法
this is the only way we're going to escape.
你策划逃跑
You're pitching an escape
但30秒后才提到"逃跑"这个词
and you don't mention the word "escape" until 30 seconds in?
你得改善下你的电梯游说
You gotta work on your elevator pitch.
乔西 你愿意和我同居吗
你怎么还活着
你好啊 我的倒霉蛋
There you are, my hapless wonder.
瞧瞧他们 爱之深 责之切
Look at them. They love-slash-pity you.
清除我的记忆吧 求你了
Erase my memory. I'm begging you.
怎么可能 开玩笑呢
No way! You kidding?
人们为这一出好戏等了多久
People wait their whole careers for a run like this.
你记得一切 但猎虎和暴狼什么都不记得
You remembering while Tiger and Wolf don't?
这太有意思了
That's the special sauce,
你可不想
and you don't want me
我的特色大餐
to serve my signature meal
少了调味品吧
without my special sauce, do you?
我不管你的什么调味品
I don't care about your special sauce.
加上调味品可太美味了
Well, it's more delicious with the special sauce.
我只想去死
I just want to die!
这是我第五次
This is, like, the fifth time
重新学走路
I've had to train myself to walk again!
你失败了47次都没从电梯里逃出来
47 times you failed to get off that elevator.
你知道这看着多折磨人吗
Do you know how hard that is?
-我在努力 -我知道
- I am trying. - I know!
所以才更有意思
That's what makes it so funny.
太疯狂了 你真的很努力
It's crazy. You're really trying.
还有猎虎和暴狼 野蛮人
And Tiger and Wolf, the savagery.
他们可真是来自最坏的时间线
They really are from the worst timeline.
如果他们继续这样下去
If they keep this up,
我们就得放出杀人机器了
we're gonna have to release the killing machine,
我们从前从来没有被逼到这种境地
and we've never had to do that.
猎虎和暴狼是我的英雄
Tiger and Wolf are my heroes.
而你 是让我轻松一笑的丑角
You, my bumbling comic relief.
我又回到了巅峰
I'm back on top.
如果我坚持下去的话
If I keep this up,
电视台会让我彻底拥有我的妻子
the network is gonna let me own my wife
和女儿 完全的自♥由♥
and daughter outright, free and clear.
-还带保修 乔西 -恭喜你
- Maintenance included, Josh. - Congratulations.
是啊 我也这么觉得
Yeah. I'd say.
你准备好换一种方式了吗
Are you ready to do this another way?
我的方式
My way?
不 不 不
No. No, no, no.
你没听见吗 我不是动作英雄
Didn't you hear him? I'm not an action hero.
我是丑角
I'm the comic relief.
没有猎虎和暴狼 这些我一样都做不到
I can't do any of this without Tiger and without Wolf.
你让自己相信了
You've allowed yourself to believe
你是一文不值的废物
you're a worthless piece of shit.
全世界都认为你是一文不值的废物
The world thinks you're a worthless piece of shit.
这是你最大的优势
That is your greatest advantage.
这就是我的优势 知道吗
That's my advantage? Well, you know what?
我可不是这么感觉的
It really doesn't feel like one.
-我能换个优势吗 -不能
- Can I please have another? - No!
让他们嫌弃你 嘲笑你 凌♥辱♥你
Let them dismiss you, mock you, upstage you,
在他们眼皮底下
and underneath their very noses,
我们将完成不可能的事
we will accomplish the impossible
并带你回家
and get you home.
放了章鱼吧 拜托
十项死亡全能 第48天
海怪的蛋蛋
-用鹈鹕的愚蠢怎么样 -不 太冒险了
- You thinking Pelican's Folly? - Nah, too risky.
在我们嘴里藏够石头之前
Those bionic pumas would sniff it out
那些仿生美洲狮就会发现我们了
before we could get enough rocks in our mouth.
鬣狗的低语呢
Hyena's Whisper?
感谢你的建议 糟糕的主意
Appreciate the pitch. Terrible idea.
也对 我不知道我在想什么
Hmm, yeah. I don't know what I was thinking.
策略还是交给你们两个吧
I'll just leave the strategizing to you two.
没事的 管好你自己
It's cool. Stay in your lane.
跟你说 我在绿房♥间看书
Hey, you know, uh, I was reading in the green room.
原来死亡竞技场里有各种各样
Apparently, there's all sorts of mythological,
来自神话里的转基因生物
genetically-modified creatures inside the Death Arena.
我打赌你拿不到美人鱼的胆囊
I bet you could not get a mermaid's gallbladder.
美人鱼的胆囊
Mermaid's gallbladder?
只有白♥痴♥才会想要那个蠢东西当奖杯
A stupid trophy only an idiot would want.
好吧 我只知道它们是非常珍贵的东西
All right, I just know they're a really prized possession
而且很难切出来
and extremely difficult to cut out.
没事 没事
It's fine, it's fine.