高玩救未来

好吧
Okay.
福特曼 该出发了
Futturman! It's go time!
操
Fuck.
脓汁残渣 半硬
Pus residue. Half-crust.
可能烤了12小时
Maybe twelve hours old.
不不 10小时 他走得很匆忙
No, no, it's ten, and he left in a hurry.
还带上了TTD
With the TTD.
该死 他为什么会这么做
Son of a... okay, why would he do that?
多半是为了博取关注
Probably to get attention.
我不想指责别人
I don't wanna point fingers,
但你最近都不在
but you haven't been around much.
所以你抛弃了他 留他等死
Oh, so you abandoned him, just left him for dead?
-他太烦人了 -还用你说
- He's so annoying. - You don't have to tell me.
不然你以为为什么每天混在熊粪里
Why do you think I'm out there covered in bear shit every day?
他们突破了枫树林 快走
They breached the maple grove. Let's move.
在河床甩掉他们
Lose 'em in the riverbed?
不不 不甩了 他们现在在我的林子里
No, no, there's no losing them. They're in my woods now.
我们去打猎吧
Let's hunt.
你可能会尝到一点薰衣草的味道
You might catch a hint of lavender.
我自己混合的 亲自采摘
My own mix, hand-foraged.
-加点...或许会更好 -蜂蜜吗
- It might be better with- - A little honey?
我跟你说了 我了解你
I told you, I know you.
我们终于可以一起离开这破时间线了
And now, at last, we can leave this foul time behind together.
就等你在神经超正方体里
It's just a matter of entering these coordinates
输入这些坐标了
into your neural tesseract.
-我能... -不不
- If I could just... - No, no, no, no.
我要拿着TTD
I think I'll be holding onto the TTD,
时空穿梭的本·拉♥登♥
Time Traveling bin Laden.
我就是想帮你 团队合作
Okay, just trying to help. Teamwork.
没事 我可以的
It's all right. I got this.
输进去了
They're in.
那就赶紧按下按钮 带我们去港湾
So now press the button and take us to Haven.
慢点 急什么
Okay, you know what? Slow your roll.
如果我们这么做 我说如果
All right, if we do this, and I'm only saying if,
你和我 我们就回到原点 明白吗
you and me, we are back to square one. You understand?
我们不是最好的朋友 连朋友都算不上
We are not BFFs, we are barely even Fs.
我不介意慢点来
I'm--I'm fine taking it slow.
看看如何发展
See where it goes.
你走出第一步 记住我会永远支持你
You make the first move, just know the answer is always yes.
我们要去的地方是真正的乌托邦
And where we're going is a real utopia,
不受时空控制
off-the-grid of space and time
天气永远完美
where the weather's always perfect,
而你不求任何回报
and you want for nothing?
别忘了女人 乔西
Don't forget the women, Josh.
或者男人 看你喜好
Or--or men. Your choice.
你肯定没想到奥萨马·本·拉♥登♥
Bet you didn't expect Osama bin Laden
对这种事也看得开吧
to be cool with that, huh?
是啊
Yeah.
你真是惊喜不断 OBL
You are full of surprises, OBL.
哟哟哟
Well, well, well.
真是舒服呢
Isn't this cozy?
我刚完美设置好了这片林子
You know, I just got these woods set up perfectly,
我自己的刺戳森林
my own personal forest of stabby-trees,
现在却因为你和你失控的自尊
and now we gotta leave because of you
而不得不离开
and your out-of-control ego.
时空穿梭真的改变了你
You know, time travel's really changed you.
我 看看你
Me? Look at you.
像日托所里的澳洲野犬一样嘴馋你的下一个猎物
Salivating over your next kill like a dingo at a daycare.
我想如果一棵树在森林里倒下的话
Well, I guess if a tree falls in the forest,
确实会发出声音
it does make a sound.
啪嗒
Splat!
好极了
Oh, great.
真是太喜欢长钉刺穿身体的声音了
Don't you just love the sound of spike impaling body?
这就是我所说的完美落地
Oh, that's what I call sticking the landing.
懂我意思吗
You know what I mean?
我几乎认不出你了
I barely recognize you.
你以前算不上好
You used to be, well, not nice,
但是你有有趣的一面
but you had interesting facets.
-我仍然有 -谋杀不算
- I still have facets. - Murder doesn't count.
-我喜欢设陷阱 -设陷阱和猎捕
- Well, I like trapping-- - Trapping and hunting
意思就是谋杀 不过更容易让人接受罢了
are just more palatable words for murder.
蠢货
Hey, fuck-nose.
你曾有目标 有动力
You had purpose, you had drive.
你是为了事业而奋斗的复仇天使
You were an avenging angel fighting for a cause.
是吗 那有什么用
Yeah? And what good did that do?
害死一堆人
Get a bunch of people killed?
害死我手下的士兵 完成
Soldiers under my command, check.
害死数亿人 完成
Untold billions, check.
我试过 失败了
I tried, I failed.
所以呢
So what?
现在你就是个寻找下一批毒品的瘾君子吗
Now you're just a junkie looking for their next fix?
我让天空下起了血雨
I made it rain blood.
准备好分头行动打败敌人了吗
Okay, are you ready to divide and conquer?
我会把那三个带向冥河
I'll take those three down to the River Styx.
河边有我最尖利的树枝
Those are my sharpest sticks, by the river.
行 我去搞定大块头
Fine, fine. I'll kill the big guy.
所有人死了后到这汇合
Meet back here when everyone's dead.
好 去吧
All right, go, go, go!
你的大步说明你喜欢实干
Your stride says all business,
但是短裙说明你喜欢派对
but that skirt says you like to party.
无论如何 我会打倒你的 铁巨人
Nevertheless, I'm gonna take you down, Gigantor.
这是第一步
That's step one.
这是第二步
That's step two.
没有感情的生化人 无所谓
Oh, emotionless cyborg. No matter.
你不会喜欢第三步的 朋友
You are not gonna like step three, my friend.
疯狂国王冰淇淋
什么情况
What the fuck?
好吧
Okay.
揍你肚子
Gut punch!
我说了揍你肚子
I said gut punch!
揍你肚子
Gut punch?
不要
Oh, no!
撞树
Tree slam.
她在树林里
She's in the trees!
-快跑 -她到底在哪里
- Run! - Where is she?
我看不到 她弄瞎了我
I can't see her! She blinded me!
天哪 到处都是她
My God, she's everywhere!
我的内脏都出来了
My insides are out!
她是人类吗
Is she even human?
-苏珊 -好了
- Susan. - All right.
自从我看到你在黏液里自言自语
The second I saw you mumbling to yourself in that goo,
我就知道帮助你的人肯定是
I knew you must be getting help from the one dickhead
之前逃离《十项死亡全能》的蠢货
who escaped The DieCathlon before.
会时空穿梭的奥萨马·本·拉♥登♥
Time traveling Osama bin Laden.
正是本人
Guilty as charged.
我不会回那部电梯的
I am not going back to that elevator.
我不是来带你回去的
I'm not here to take you back there.
我来这里是想和你合作的
I'm here because we can help each other.
你根本不能提供任何
There is nothing that you could possibly offer me
让我感兴趣的东西...
that I could possibly be interest‐‐
医疗黏液 你带了医疗黏液
Medi‐goo! You brought me medi‐goo!
天哪 天哪
Oh, God! Oh, God.
快进去
Get in there.
你喜欢吗 是不是很好
You like that goo? It's good, huh?
我六个月都没刷牙了 好吗
I haven't brushed my teeth in like six months, okay?
放下杯子 奥萨马
Drop the mug, Osama.
放下
Drop it!
别相信他 乔西 他骗过你
Don't trust him, Josh. He lied to you.
你要记住 我从没骗过你
Remember, I never lied to you.
你说得对
That's true.
你骗了我太多次 我为什么要相信你