双雌大盗（2025）

小兔崽子
Little bastard.
他去哪了? -鬼知道啊
Where's he gone? - Fuck knows.
你们是来见席琳的? -没错
You are here to meet Celine? - Yeah.
这不对劲 那买♥♥家到底是谁?
This can't be right. Who is this buyer?
她是位女权主义艺术收藏家
She's a femini st art collector
乐意花上千万购买♥♥私人藏品
willing to spend millions on a private collection.
据说她专门收集那些
Apparently, she collects pieces
遭到艺术家剥削的缪斯女神艺术品
where the muse has been exploited by the artist
这地方跟高雅艺术一点都不沾边啊?
This place is hardly screaming "high art ", is it?
谢谢 -谢谢
Gracias. - Gracias.
这是什么鬼地方 伯特?
Where the fuck are we, Bert?
你家孩子喜欢鹦鹉吗?
Do your kids like parrots?
请坐
Please, sit.
啊 那是个艺术品 你的屁♥股♥可沾不起
Ah. That's designer. It's not meant for arse-parking
行吧
OK...
那么...
So...
为什么是你们?
why you?
为什么我就不能等伊莎贝拉出狱?
Why don't I just wait for Isabella to leave prison?
伊莎贝拉要到猴年马月才出来
Isabella's got years to serve.
我能在六周内帮你拿到那幅画
I can get you that painting six weeks, tops.
而且伊莎贝拉开价1500万 我只要1000万
And Isabella wants 15 million. I want ten.
啊 但我不知道你有多大本事
Yeah, but I don't know you.
至于你 我就更加不认识了
I certainly don't know you.
她是我的搭档
She's my partner.
我信任她
I trust her,
要是出了什么问题 我负全责
and it's me that's taking all the risk.
我们有个计划 如果成功那就压根没人知道它被偷了
We have a plan, and no-one will even know there's been a crime
但在那之前 我们必须确保这票归我们
But for that, we need to know that the job is ours.
一千万这数目可不小
Ten million's a lot of money.
偷一幅名画费的功夫也不小 风险还很高
Stealing a pa inting's a lot of work. And risk.
要是我们六周内没把画交给你
But if we don't have you the painting in six weeks,
你可以回去找伊莎贝拉
you can go back to Isabella.
这样一来 你可是零风险
But this way, you have no risk,
前期投入很少 而且你只需付原价三分之二的钱
little outlay and the painting you've always wanted for two-thirds of the price
就能拿到心仪的画
you were willing to pay.
而且如果你是怀疑我们的能力的话...
And if you were in any doubt of our capabilities...
你居然偷了荆棘冠?
You nicked the Crown of Thorns?
是啊 就在众目之下
Yeah, right from under everyone's noses.
这是一点小心意
It's a little gift,
只是向你证明 那些关于我的江湖传说都是真的
just to show you everything you've heard about me is true.
嗯 干得漂亮
Yeah, well done.
现在 从这儿到塔里法的每一个人都在找它
Now every man and his dog from here to Tarifa's looking for it.
要是它放在你的私人藏品里 没人找得到
Not if it just sits in your private collection.
什么 这玩意?
What, this thing?
看看它
Look at it.
这么丑 简直亵渎艺术
It's an eyesore.
至少它是纯金的 值不少钱吧 -哦 我想到了
Well, the gold itself is worth a small fortune... - Oh, hang on.
我把熔炼工具找出来
Let me get my smelting kit out.
把它熔成加冕戒指怎样?
Turn it into sovereign rings, shall I?
市场上的小黑贩会开心死了
Boys down the market will be happy.
好吧 我们自己会处理掉它
OK, we'll get rid of it.
不行
No.
让我看看你们在我指示下以及真正压力下的...
Let's see how you work under instruction...
真本事吧
... and real pressure.
然后我再考虑那票归不归你们
Then I'll decide if the job is yours.
你们把它放回去
You put it back.
今天内搞定
Today.
教堂今天不对公众开放
The cathedral isn't open to the public.
没错
Exactly.
那会是个完美的小试炼场
It's a perfect little spot for you two
以检测你俩的真本事
to show me what you're capable of
之后我才批准你俩是做我的供货商
before I agree to you being my supplier.
听清楚了吗? 可以退下了
OK? Off you pop.
我要它在六点前回到原位
I want it back there by six.
拉斐尔!
Raphael?
带她们见见纳乔
Introduce them to Nacho
激励一下她们
Sharpen the mind.
你跟我说的是这票已经定了
You made out like it was a done deal
结果不是
It wasn't,
我们现在非常被动 再不发力就小命都没了
and now we're on the back foot, singing for our supper.
我们能还回去的 放心
We'll return it, it's fine.
她知道我们的本事 我已经向她推销了好几个月
She knows who we are, I've pitched her for months.
她只是在考验我们
She's just testing us.
是啊 我能问一下
Yeah, can I touch on the fact
你偷了圣物却不告诉我?
that you stole a relic without telling me?
是图啥啊? 就为了向一个你甚至不认识的女人炫耀自己!
And for what? To show off to some woman you don't even know!
我偷圣物是提醒你 我偷盗本事有多厉害
I stole a relic to remind you how good I am at this shit
是为了向你证明我自己!
To prove myself to you!
喂!
Oi!
喜欢我的新帽子吗?
Do you like my new hat?
苍天啊
Fuck's sake.
我们需要的可不止你那个破烂
We're gonna need more than your shi t hat
幸好我留着咱俩以前的一些家当
It's a good job I kept some of our stuff.
你还留着?
Did you?
是伪画大♥师♥ 咱们去接这位天才少年吧?
It's the forger. Shall we go and welcome the talent?
那得抓紧了
Well, we'd better be quick
那个疯婆子说今天要还回去 今天必须搞定
Cos if that lunatic says it needs to be put back today, it's today.
我可不想被绑到椅子上
I'm not getting strapped to a chair.
好 我顶住你鼻子 然后你吸气
Right, I'm gonna hold that, and then you've got to breathe in
四 三 四 屏住
Four, three, four, hold.
你的鼻子可真漂亮
You have such a pretty nose.
就是这样再来一次 好 好极了
That's it, do it one more time. Right, OK
最后一次 现在你吸气
Last one. Now you breathe in...
干这行可不是长得漂亮就行
There's more to this than looking pretty, you know.
你得尊重呵护你的道具
You need to treat the equipment with respect.
每场表演完了 要把道具收好
Put everything away at the end of each show.
开场前都要记得检查机关的安全
Check the safety on each trick before each show.
那不是你的活吗?
Isn't that what you're here for?
他是那样的 先是迷恋你
He does this, you know. Gets infatuated.
然后开始挑剔你的毛病
Then he'll start to pick holes in you.
你开始感觉自己不够优秀
And you'll start to feel like you're not good enough.
但到那时 他已经移情别恋了
But by then, he'll have moved on.
他唯一不会抛弃的人就是你 杰姬
The only person who won't be moving on is you, Jackie
因为你就是那种任人挑剔的人
Because you're the kind of person that lets people pick holes in you.
他对我来说就只是个垫脚石
This is just a stepping stone for me.
别对我那样放肆 你个小丫头
Don't talk to me like that, you little madam.
你二十年后还会困在这里的
You're still gonna be stuck here in 20 years'time,
只是看起来会像是皮薄肉厚的老火腿肠
looking like a two-pound sa usage in a one-pound skin
你对我一无所知 -是吗?
You don't know anything about me. - Don't I?
我知道戳到你的痛处了
Well.. I know when I've touched a nerve.
哦呦 比利小子 欢迎来到西班牙
Oi, oi, Bili-boy! Welcome to Espana.
很高兴认识你 比拉尔 我叫萨姆
Pleased to meet you, Bilal. I'm Sam.
嗨 呃...
Hiya. Erm...
哦
Oh.
这里跟蒸锅一样啊
It's boiling here, in't it?
谢谢
Cheers...
我都满身是汗了呢
I'm sweating c obs. Er...
我什么时候能拿到钱?
So, when do I get my money?
啊 我们先带你转转再谈正事 怎么样?
Yeah, shall we show you around first before we talk turkey?
满意吗?
All right for you?
你要的东西都在这了 还有你的...
Got all your stuff, and your...
...焗豆
... beans.
嗯嗯
Mmm.
我一天要吃四罐 所以... -好 没问题
I go through a four-pack a day, so... Yeah, sure.
我们会给你多买♥♥点的
Well, we'll get you some more.
对了 WiFi 呢?
And Wi-Fi?
我要打视频给我妈 -嗯嗯
Need to ring my mum. - Mm-hm.
得让她知道我在这里一切安好 否则她会...担惊受怕的
Let her know I've got here OK, she'll be... worrying.
嗯嗯
Mm-hm.
那么
So...