双雌大盗（2025）

第一集
真高兴看到你来了
Fancy seeing you here.
你以为我不会来吗?
What are the chances?
就此一别了
So this is me.
谢谢你玛丽亚
Thank you Maria
与你相处的这些日子真是愉快
You've been a delight from start to finish
小心点 好吗?
Take care, OK?
如果我再也见不到你
If I never see you again...
我可不会挂念你
... it'll be too soon.
伯特 我只送你一句话
Bert, I only have one wish for you.
愿你在睡梦中死去
May you die in your sleep.
嗯哼
Hmm.
嘿 我帮你拿吧
Hey, let me help you.
嗷! -都是书呢
Oof! - Oh, it's books.
总得干点什么打发时间
One has to pass the time
太快了吗?
Too fast?
什么? 才不是呢
What? No.
稍微加点速度挺好的
It's good to get a bit of speed up.
那么 你过的怎么样?
So, how are you?
生活如意吗?
Life treating you good?
哦 你知道的
Oh, you know.
不 我不知道 已经过去十年了
No, I don't. It's been ten years.
你住在什么地方?
Where is it you're living?
在山里
In the hills.
哦 你就不想念英国老家吗?
Ooh. You didn't fancy going back to dear old Blighty?
啊 你知道我十六岁就离开那了
Yeah the fact I haven't lived there since I was 16
更莫提在那成天雨中漫步 真是吸引人啊
and the driving rain, it was a real draw
医生怎么说?
What have the doctors said?
只剩几个月了 不到一年
Months, not years.
我很抱歉
I'm sorry.
不用抱歉
Don't be.
我还有时间来构思我的墓志铭
Gives me time to think about my epitaph.
活 笑 爱
Live, laugh, love
死 哭 恨
Die, cry, hate.
伯特 你需要什么?
What do you need, Bert?
一张床 一个马桶 一扇窗
A bed, a toilet and a window.
还有什么吗?
Anything else?
我需要你靠边停车 -哦
I need you to pull over. - Oh.
停车!
Pull over!
你还好吗?
You Ok?
还好 还好 常有的事
Yeah, yeah. Regular occurrence.
我给你拿瓶水
I'll get you some water.
哦!
Oh!
谢了
Ta.
我都能看见大海了
I can almost see the sea.
我想去游泳
I wanna go swimming.
嗯 我在住的地方建了个小游泳池
Well, I've got a little pool at my place.
游泳池?
Got a pool?
你这样子能去游泳吗?
Are you allowed to go swimming?
我是得了癌症 又不会漏水
I've got cancer, I'm not porous.
住在云层之上风有点大吧?
Bit nippy up here in the clouds, inn it?
嗯
'Ey.
这地方真大
It's a lot of land
这块地不归我
It's not mine.
那这驴是谁的?
So whose is the donkey?
驴是我的
The donkey's mine
鸡也是我的 猪是野生的
So are the chickens. The boars are wild.
希望我不会成为这里唯一的烦人精
Suppose it helps not to be the only "bore " around here.
啊 你还是那么幽默呢
Ah, she's still funny!
我们可不是人人都像你一样 机智又妙语连珠
I suppose we can't all have your wit and repartee, can we?
这是个诅咒
It's a curse.
哦天 那就是游泳池?
Oh, shit, is that the pool?
我还想着能游一大圈呢
I was hoping to get my lengths in
如果你想的话 当然可以
Well, you can if you want.
天哪 我已经预订了癌症
Jeez. I can't die of Legionnaires'disease
可不能死于军团病啊
when I've pencilled in the big C.
我能问问详情吗?
Can I ask?
肝脏肿瘤无法进行手术
Tumour on my liver, inoperable
那些药让我恶心又疲惫
Pills make me nauseous and tired
但稍微让我活得久一点
but they help me live longer.
如果我不吃药 我会有种奇怪的舒适感
If I don't take'em, I feel... weirdly normal,
但那样我就活不了几个月了 可能会在几周内暴毙
but I could drop dead in weeks, not months.
可以说 这是个两难困境
So a Catch-22, if you will
没想到你会住在这样的山卡拉里
This isn't where I thought you'd be living
我以为你会住在罗马桥那享受风景豪♥宅♥呢
Thought you'd be in a front line villa in Puente Romano.
罗马桥?
Puente Romano?
我更喜欢贝纳哈维斯
I'm more Benahavis.
是啊 当然了 踩在所有人头上
Yeah, yeah, of course. Up above it all.
给你买♥♥了些玩意
Got you some bits.
什么玩意?
What?
哦 这文胸还不错
Oh. Well, that's a lovely lady bra.
这尺码的只有这款了
It's all they had.
我不得不掂量了下你的尺码
And I had to guess the size.
谢谢
Thanks.
哦 我把你的房♥间整理出来了
Oh, I've made up your room,
如果你还需要什么我可以拿到 要是你到了...
and if there's anything you need, I can get it when you're...
什么 到了我临死挣扎的时候? 你可以直说的
What, in my death throes? You can say it.
好吧 就是那时候
Well, yeah, OK, that.
听着 要是真到了那时候
Look, if things get too spicy,
我会灌自己一大瓶波本威士忌 吞些药丸
then I'll down a bottle of bourbon, neck some pills
然后你可以把我埋在你的羊圈下面
and you can bury me under your goats.
他们让我签了些文件
They've made me sign things.
我是你的看护人 也是监护人
I'm your carer and your guardian
你不能就这么一了百了
You can't just go and top yourself.
我会留一封遗书 说你对此事毫不知情
I'll write a letter saying you knew nothing about it
天哪萨姆! 放轻松点
Jesus, Sam! Lighten up.
好吧
OK.
你就不请你闺蜜喝一杯? 居然还是第五批
You gonna offer a girl a drink? Of Batch Five?
哦 真清爽
Oh, that is clean.
这比监狱里的私酿酒好多了
That is... That is better than prison hooch.
是用番茄泡的 -什么?
It's made from tomatoes. - What?
我没搞错吧?
Am I getting this right?
你隐居在深山老林 住在一个牧羊人小屋里
You're living on the side of a mountain, in a goat herder's hut,
酿些番茄威士忌
making tomato moonshine
过着苦行僧生活?
to make sure that life isn't too easy?
是啊 我就是这样 -为什么?
Yeah. I suppose I am, yeah. - Why?
你是我认识的最厉害的女大盗
You're the best con woman I know.
你本可以享受花天酒地的
You could be living the high life.
哦 那也太麻木不仁了吧?
Oh, that'd be crass, wouldn't it?
尤其是你还在监狱里
With you in prison.
本来那回我们都该进去的
We should have both gone down for that job.
那是我接的活 而我搞砸了
'Well, it was my job, and I fucked it up.
啊!
Ah!
啊!
Ugh!
走吧 我们出去玩玩 别老想着过去如何了
Come on, we're going out. Let's not dwell on the past
今天我们要为活着于杯!
Today, we drink to life!
好吧 我们出去 你想干什么都行
OK, yeah. Let's go out. Whatever you want
你最好画点妆
You wanna put some make-up on.
不然你那张脸会吓跑马儿的
cos you don't wanna spook the horses with that face.
这是要庆祝什么?
What are we celebrating?
我的死亡
My death
喔 别这样子嘛
Oh don't be like that
你的脸这么帅就不要板着了
You are too pretty to be sad
赶紧啊 伙计
Hurry up, mate.
干杯!
j Salud!
敬你 -难道不敬我们?
To you. - To us, surely?
又不是我出狱 -行吧 敬我自己
This isn't about me. - OK, to me.
天哪 不好吧 -这是草药做的 我保证
God, no. - It's herbal, I promise.
瓜拿纳 来尝尝 -不行!
Guarana. Try it. - No!
它只是用来提神醒脑的
It just gives me a little pep in my step.
你不想我聊着聊着就睡了对吧?