肯医生（2015）
Dr. Ken
第一季
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肯医生（2015）
Dr. Ken S01E12
Part 3
Sept. 7, 2020, 10:30 a.m.
Way to squash my entrepreneurial spirit.
我打赌史蒂夫·乔布斯就没「按吩咐办事」
I bet nobody ever told Steve Jobs to, "Just do what you're told."
史蒂夫·乔布斯有个女儿他认都不认呢
Hey, Steve Jobs had a daughter he didn't even acknowledge.
他这种大智我等凡人只能单纯瞻仰膜拜一下
So he was smart in ways the rest of us can only marvel at.
听我说
Oh, watch this.
戴茉娜昨天整了我
Damona pranked me yesterday,
但我马上就要一雪前耻
but I'm about to get her back.
我用她的名字订了五张披萨
I ordered five pizzas in her name.
戴茉娜·沃特金斯的羞辱现在开始
And the mortification of Damona Watkins starts now.
戴茉娜·沃特金斯订的五张披萨到了
Uh, I got five pizzas for a Damona Watkins.
我没有订披萨
I didn't order any pizza.
但订单上是你的名字和这个地址
I have your name and this address.
我不会掏钱的
Well, I'm not paying for it.
不必 订单已经付过款了
Oh, you don't have to. They're pre-paid.
你居然付过款了
You paid for the pizzas?
当然 我又不是想整送餐员
Well, duh. I'm not pranking the delivery guy.
大家 免费披萨 我请的
Hey, everybody, free pizzas... on me!
才不是她订的
She didn't order that.
她该多尴尬啊
This is awkward for her.
我怎么闻到了熏火腿和奶酪的味道
Why do I smell prosciutto and brie?
问戴茉娜去 都是她惹的麻烦
Ask Damona. This is her mess.
派特 免费披萨 随便吃
Hey, Pat, free pizza. Help yourself.
赞耶
Hells, yeah!
焦糖无花果
Caramelized figs!
正合我胃口
That's what I'm talking about.
再不拿就没了 披萨上还滴满松露油呢
Oh, grab a slice quick. It's drizzled with truffle oil.
这要额外给十二美元
That was $12 extra.
该死的
Oh, damn it!
你好
Hello!
看看谁来了
Oh, look who it is.
把你的手放到我看得到的地方
Keep your hands where I can see them.
不管怎样 你的心电图结果出来了
Anyway, I have the results from your monitor,
你的心率不齐
and there were some irregular beats
还有心率过快的现象
and spikes in your heart rate.
真的吗
Really?
是的 第一次发生在七点半
Yeah, the first one was at 7:30.
你还记得那时候你在做什么吗
Do you remember what you were doing then?
刚吃完晚饭 在厨房♥和艾莉森聊天
It was after dinner. I was in the kitchen talking to Allison.
九点四十分呢
9:40?
准备睡觉 和艾莉森聊天
I was getting ready for bed, talking to Allison.
十点半的时候呢
And 10:30?
和艾莉森聊天
Talking to Allison!
所以你是说艾莉森是我的压力触发点
So you're saying Allison is my stress trigger?
不 也有很多其他原因导致你
Oh, no, there could be lots of other reasons why --
不 不 我不需要其他理由
Oh, no, no, I don't need "Other."
我需要这个
I need this!
另外 你还有一张♥健♥康证明书
Otherwise, you have a clean bill of health.
健康证明书帮不了我什么
A clean bill of health gets me nothing.
永远在艾莉森面前作威作福
Lording this over Allison till the end of time?
要不是信♥用♥卡♥风靡全球的话
Well, I would say "Priceless"
我会说它是无价之宝
if mastercard had't scorched that earth.
宝贝
Hey, bae.
今天过得怎么样
Oh, how was your day?
有趣 非常有趣
Interesting. Very interesting.
甚至令人♥大♥开眼界
A real eye-opener, even.
艾莉森 我要谢谢你
I have to thank you, Allison.
你让我去做体♥检♥实在是太对了
You were so right to make me get that physical.
小朱莉的确找到了一些使我缓慢致死的东西
Young Julie actually did find something that's slowly killing me.
-什么 -就是你 艾莉森
- What? - It's you, Allison.
看
Ta-da!
证据确凿 每次我们聊天的时候
Irrefutable proof that every time we had a conversation,
我的心率都会过快
My heart rate spiked.
这就对了
That's right.
你就是我的压力触发点
You're my stress trigger.
少来
Come on.
这是我听过的最愚蠢的事了
That's got to be the dumbest thing I ever heard.
你曾经还拉我去看迪肯贝·穆托姆博
And you once dragged me to see Dikembe Mutombo
和马格西·博格斯的《人鼠之间》
and Muggsy Bogues in "Of Mice and Men."
悠着点 导火线
Easy, trigger.
你不会想这玩意爆♥炸♥吧
You don't want this sucker to blow.
好吧 我选择中止这次谈话
Okay, I'm pressing pause on this conversation
因为拉特利奇会随时到来
because the Rutledges will be here any minute,
但是我们晚点再解决这个问题
but we are finishing this later.
用拉特利奇来吓唬我
Ooh, forcing the Rutledges on me.
我认为这属于高压情况
I see this as a high-stress situation.
好吧 告诉我 这要持续多久
Okay, just tell me, how long is this gonna go on?
我不知道 会伴我一生吧
I don't know. As long as I live?
所以这都得听你的 是吧
So it's really up to you, isn't it?
没错
Got it.
克拉克 你有见到戴茉娜吗
Clark, have you seen Damona?
我想送她油炸小煎饼当做谢礼
I got her this cruller as a thank-you
感谢她请我们吃那么好吃的比萨饼
for the delicious pizzas she treated us to.
她是一颗宝石
Yeah, she's a gem.
好吧 这油炸小煎饼归我了
Okay, that cruller is mine.
我才是那颗宝石
I'm the gem.
我燃烧自己照亮你们
I sparkle and shine.
我猜到最后会皆大欢喜的
Well, I guess all's well that ends well, then.
我原以为戴茉娜是我的朋友
I thought Damona was my friend.
很好 说下去
Oh, good. More.
我就是不明白
I just don't understand
为什么她想让我在所有人面前出洋相
Why she'd want to make me look stupid in front of everyone.
你知道吗 当人们成为好朋友时
Well, you know how when people are good friends,
他们经常开一些玩笑来缓解气氛
they'll often participate in some light to moderate joshing?
所以你是说戴茉娜的恶作剧是友谊的象征
So you're saying Damona's prank was a sign of friendship?
要是可以开始我的周末的话 是的
If it'll start my weekend, yes.
你好
Hi.
我只是想为昨天的恶作剧对你说谢谢
I just wanted to say thanks for the practical joke yesterday.
我真的很重视我们的友谊
I, um... I really value our friendship.
太好了 克拉克
Clarky Clark!
我很高兴你喜欢 你知道 那一刻
I'm so glad you liked it. You know, for a minute there,
我觉得你很难过 然而我就想
I thought you were upset, but then I was like,
要是他难过的话
"If he's upset,
为什么他又把比萨饼都吃光了呢
then why is he getting me all these pizzas?"
这是一个恶作剧
It was a prank.
我搞不懂
I don't get it.
没人懂
Nobody did.
无论如何 在我意识到
Anyway, before I understood that
恶作剧是爱的表现之前 我本该生气
pranks were a sign of affection, I might have done --
戴茉娜小姐 你的车着火了
Ms. Damona, your car is on fire.
-什么 -不 这不是真的
- What?! - It's not. It's not.
这是一个玩笑
It's a joke.
我请胡安-胡里奥进来
I asked Juan-Julio to come in
告诉你 你的车着火了
and tell you that your car was on fire.
不 克拉克先生 你让我去烧她车子
No, no, Mr. Clark, you told me to set her car on fire.
-我的天啊 -我的天啊
- Oh, my God! - Oh, my God!
-我的天啊 -我的天啊
- Oh, my God! - Oh, my God!
捉弄这家伙实在是太容易了 对吧
It's just too easy with that guy, huh?
很好
That's fine.
肯恩 我有周六快船比赛的票 如果
So, ken, I got tickets to the Clippers game saturday, if --
安迪 我不得不打断你了
I'm gonna stop you right there, Andy.
我感到十分荣幸
I'm really flattered,
但我现在已经有一个完整的朋友花名册了
but I got a full roster of friends right now.
肯恩只是在开玩笑
Ken's just kidding.
他很想和你去看比赛的
He'd love to go to the game with you.
好吧 因为我知道自己身体怎么样
Oh, well, now that I'm aware of my condition,
我就能真切地感受到你什么时候话说重了
I can really feel it when you overstep.
孩子们怎么样
So, how are the kids?
他们很好
They're great.
真的吗 莫莉压根儿找不到工作
Really? 'cause Molly's virtually unemployable,
戴夫好像把移♥动♥厕所
and Dave seems to have turned their port-a-potty
变成俱乐部了
肯医生（2015）
Dr. Ken
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