肯医生（2015）

Dr. Ken S01E06

Part 1 Sept. 7, 2020, 10:29 a.m.

你好吗儿子
Hello son!
大佬D
Big D!
安静点我们在读书
Shh... Reading.
兴致已死
Okeey, buzz killed.
死亡时间 7点31分
Time of death, 7:31.
莫莉呢
Where's Molly?
去参加派对了
At a party.
工作日晚上也有派对她是说唱歌♥手吗
A party on a weeknight? What is she, a rapper?
你在读什么书小崽子
What you reading there, animal?
《少女神探》系列吗
One of those Nancy Drews?
才不是肯恩
No, Ken.
不过你这个梗都用了八十年了
Though happy 80th birthday to that reference.
咱儿子在读德国总理
Our son is reading a biography
安吉拉·默克尔的传记
of German chancellor Angela Merkel.
安吉拉没想到你还有这招
Oh, Angela. Didn't see that coming.
不是吧她
Oh, no, she didn't!
这孩子越长越奇怪了
He's turning out weird.
你喜欢老默克尔
So, the Merkster.
默克朗基罗
Merkelangelo.
我也熟悉日耳曼妹子
I'm familiar. Teutonic gal.
长得有点像保罗·麦卡特尼
Kind of looks like Paul McCartney.
拜托她才不像
Please. She doesn't look like...
本传记为剧中虚构
好吧还真像保罗
Oh, yeah, that is Paul.
伙计
Hey, buddy.
不如你往这本砖头里塞个书签
Why don't you slap a bookmark in that brick,
咱们去鞍堡包吧
and we'll go hit Saddle Burger.
他们新出了一款六十四盎司的奶昔
They got a new 6♥4♥-ounce milkshake
装在塑料靴子里卖♥♥
that comes in a plastic boot.
这就闪我先去吃点乳糖酶补充剂
Let's bounce. I'll go grab my Lactaid.
你这是干什么我们看书看得好好的
What are you doing? We were reading.
书什么时候都可以读
He can read anytime.
但奶昔靴是限时贩卖♥♥的
But the milkshake boot's only available while supplies last.
戴夫奶昔靴
Dave, boot!
带他出去玩的总是你
I feel like you're always the one that does fun stuff with him.
他觉得你更有趣
He sees you as the fun one.
谢谢我真的很用心养儿子
Aw, thanks. I really do make an effort with the boy.
我认真的我只会和他一起读书
I'm serious. All I do is read with him.
还会和我抱怨个没完不过继续说
And bitch and moan to me about it, but continue.
在他小时候
When he was little,
我们玩过各种「妈咪与戴夫大冒险」
we used to have all kinds of Mommy-Dave adventures.
我会带他去海边去儿童博物馆
I would take him to the beach, the Children's Museum.
天哪
Oh, my God.
我都想不起上次我们一起做有趣的事是什么时候
I can't remember the last time he and I did something fun together.
上周你还带他去了那个什么地方
Come on. Just last week, you took him to that...
他带着玩具回来的
place and he got a toy.
那个地方是口腔诊所
That place was the dentist.
那个玩具是支牙刷
The toy was a toothbrush.
你还带他去过那个水族馆
Okay, but you took him to that aquarium.
那个水族馆仍然是口腔诊所
That was also the dentist.
休息室里有个鱼缸而已
There's a fish tank in the lobby.
口腔诊所听起来挺好玩的
The dentist sounds like a blast.
也许下次让我带他去吧
Hey, maybe I should take him there.
戴夫快点
Dave, come on!
奶昔太棒了老爸
That was awesome, dad.
-给你老妈 -谢谢你戴夫
- Here, mom. - Oh, thanks, Dave.
一定要手洗
Wash it by hand.
上面印着可以用洗碗机但我不想冒险
It says dishwasher-safe, but I don't want to risk it.
晚安伙伴
Good night, partner.
玩得很开心是吧
So, you had a good time, huh?
明天换我们母子开心了
Well, tomorrow, he and I are gonna have a good time.
我要带他来一次经典的「妈咪与戴夫大冒险」
I'm taking him on an old-school Mommy-Dave adventure.
好让他知道老妈仍然很有趣
I need to show him that I can still be the fun one.
做得好宝贝
Good for you, bae.
带他去哪鞍堡包
What are you gonna do? Saddle Burger?
不是
No.
随便什么懒爹懒妈都能带孩子去鞍堡包
Any lazy parent can take a kid to Saddle Burger.
我想在他发育的这段关键时间
I'm gonna solidify our mother-son bond
加固我们母子的感情
during this critical time in his development.
所以还是去鞍堡包
So, Saddle Burger.
不是
No.
我上网查到那本默克尔传记的作者
I went online and found out the author of that Merkel biography
明晚在市中心办读书会
is doing a reading tomorrow night downtown.
车程一小时
It's an hour away.
像迷你自驾游一样
It's gonna be like a mini road trip.
他还可以熬夜他肯定喜欢
And he gets to stay up late. Oh, he's gonna love it!
别推销了宝贝我懂默克尔的魅力
Babe, stop selling. It's Merkel. I get it.
二位还好吗
Hey, guys. What's up?
莫莉现在还不到九点
Hey, Mol. It's not even 9:00.
派对怎么了
What happened to the party?
如果你们保证不生气
Okay, I'll tell you guys what happened
我就告诉你们派对的事
if you promise not to get mad at me.
我不认为我们该放弃生气的权利
I don't think we want to give up our right to get mad.
不然听完想生气怎么办
We might end up wanting that.
如果我们生气她就不会说了
If we get mad, she won't tell us.
也是
Go point...
我们能问问题吗
Can we ask questions?
每人只能问一个
Hmm... you each get one.
我觉得这是咱能交涉到的最好条件
I don't think we're gonna do better than this.
好吧请讲
Fine. Proceed.
警♥察♥来制止了派对
Okay. The police came and shut down the party
因为有些孩子未成年饮酒
because some of the kids were drinking and they were under age.
还有其他情况吗
All right. Is there more?
没了这样用掉你的问题可不太明智
No, and not a wise use of your question.
靠
Damn!
等下
Hold on.
我不是还有一个问题吗
Don't I get a question?
对问得好老妈
Yes! Good question, mom!
-擦 -站住
- Damn. - Stop.
玩个新游戏
New game.
叫做「告诉我们你是否也是喝酒孩子之一」
It's called "Tell us if you were one of the kids who was drinking."
跟「猜字游戏」差不多只不过你要交代
It's similar to scattergories, except you tell us
你是否也在喝酒的孩子之列
you were one of the kids who was drinking.
我喝了半瓶啤酒但我觉得太难喝
I drank half a beer, but I thought it was gross,
所以我把酒倒在草坪上了
so I dumped it out on the lawn.
好吧宝贝谢谢你告诉我们
Okay, honey. Thank you for telling us.
不客气晚安
You're welcome. Good night.
谢谢你告诉我们
"Thank you for telling us"?
这叫做正面加强我们女儿的诚实度
It's called positively reinforcing our daughter's honesty.
好吧我们这样做的时候
Okay, while we're doing that,
我想到的是寄宿学校陆战队
I'm thinking boarding school, the Marines,
宗教之类的东西
something in the religious world?
听听我以为你会是好玩的家长呢
Listen to you. I thought you were the fun one.
我是跟戴夫玩莫莉是个暴怒的酒鬼
I'm fun with Dave. Molly's a raging alcoholic!
好了好了肯恩
Okay, okay, Ken.
淡定一点我们先把这事儿说完
Take a knee. Let's just talk this through.
我知道你要说什么
Oh, I know what you're gonna say.
我是艾莉森我们女儿对我们不设防
"I'm Allison -- our daughter was honest with us,
就像我对我嬉皮爸妈坦诚交代
just like I was with my hippie parents
超炫的人♥民♥公社一样
on that Groovy Commune."
这事没必要小题大做
Look, there's no reason to make this into a thing.
但这不是小题
But it is a thing.
我们女儿才十几岁就喝酒了
Our teenage daughter was drinking.
你知道我爸抓到我喝酒的时候
You know what my dad did to me
他是怎么对我的吗
the one time he caught me drinking?
这样
This!
他烫伤你了
He burned you?
不他说「我很失望」说了一个多小时
No, he said, "I'm a-disappointed" for over an hour.
我打瞌睡没撑住磕到我妈的卷发棒上了
I finally nodded off and fell on my mom's curling iron.
但关键是他其实什么都没做
But the point is, he didn't just do nothing.