肯医生（2015）
Dr. Ken
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肯医生（2015）
Dr. Ken S01E12
Part 2
Sept. 7, 2020, 10:30 a.m.
No, I'm -- I'm not asking you to make another coffee run.
-我需要一次医疗帮助 -真的吗
- I need a medical favor. - Really?
对 我得做一次体♥检♥
Yeah, I have to have a physical.
朴医生 我非常荣幸
Dr. Park, I would be honored
能够担任你的私人医生
to serve as your personal physician.
说真的 我之前都开始担心
Honestly, I was starting to worry
你不把我当医生看了
that you didn't respect me as a doctor.
行行行 签了这个就行
Yeah, yeah, yeah, just sign this.
但是你什么时候做体♥检♥呢
But what about your physical?
不 我不要真的做体♥检♥ 我很健康
No, I don't need an actual exam. I'm in perfect health.
你懂的 看这个
You know, check this.
气都不带喘的 就是有点拉到腹股沟了
Not even winded and only slightly pulled my groin.
总之 把字签了 艾莉森老拿这事烦我
Anyway, ink that baby up. Allison's on my jock about this.
你知道吗 不行
You know what? No.
朱莉·多布斯医生是很专业的
Dr. Julie Dobbs is a professional.
你干嘛用第三人称
Why are you going third-person?
因为多布斯医生在紧张的时候就会用第三人称
Because Dr. Dobbs goes third-person when she's nervous.
除非她给你做完全套体♥检♥
And she's not signing a darn thing
不然她是不会签这个的
until she gives you a complete and thorough physical.
所以你明天早上过来
So you come here tomorrow
准备好给她应有的尊重
ready to give her the respect she deserves.
还有一整杯尿液
Oh, and a full cup of urine.
好吧 我真是犯了个严重的错误
Okay, there has been a horrible mistake!
你穿那个看上去真不错
That's -- that's a real good look on you.
一点都不好笑
It's not funny!
派特的笨蛋自动售货机吐出来这个号♥的给我
Pat's stupid vending machine has it out for me!
我输入了我的号♥码
I punched in my code,
结果是按照杰拉德的「前」照片发的衣服
and out came the outfit from Jared's "Before" picture.
你懂的 不要考虑其他因素
You know, before everything.
这套手术服太大了
Oh, those scrubs are too big.
你说呢
You think?
如果系条皮带然后用上衣盖住
That would actually look cute
那看上去还挺可爱的
if you belted it and bloused it over.
看上去是可爱
It would look adorable.
但是看上去不专业
What it would not look is professional.
克拉克 克拉克 是我的错
Oh, Clark. Clark, I got you.
我故意给了你错误的号♥码 伙计
I gave you the wrong code on purpose, dude.
什么 为什么 很好玩吗
What? Why? What's funny about that?
好了 这是你的实际号♥码
Come on. Here's your actual code.
这是我的实际号♥码
Is this actually my code,
还是会让我拿到一套超级紧身手术服的号♥码
or is this one gonna give me super-tiny scrubs?
好了
Aw, come on.
这个是你的实际号♥码
Here's your actual code.
早上好 朴医生
Good morning, Dr. Park.
我知道我们是同事
Now, I know we're colleagues,
但是今天我是医生你是病人
but today I am the physician and you are the patient,
如果你也这么看的话就更好了
and I would appreciate it if you treated me as such.
你收到我的短♥信♥了吗
Did you get my text?
超大杯冰茶
Iced venti chai.
总之 这是你的血液生化检查结果
Anyway, I have the results from your chemistry panel.
好的 低密度脂蛋白 肌酸酐 钙都很正常
Okay. Ldl, creatinine, calcium all good.
看上去我的猛♥男♥检测结果呈阳性
Looks like I tested positive for beefcake.
提醒一下
Excuse you.
我负责这次检查
I am administering this exam.
好的 每项指标看上去都合我意
Okay, everything seems to be where I'd like it...
除了你的态度
...except your attitude.
好吧 我们快点结束吧
Fine, let's just get this over with.
但是我不会让你检查我的前列腺的
But I'm not letting you check my prostate.
这是体♥检♥里的一项内容
It's part of the physical.
不是这次体♥检♥里的一项
It ain't part of this one.
朴医生 你知道在你这个年纪 这是一项强制检查
Dr. Park, you know at your age, it's mandatory.
所以我得对你重复
So I'm going to repeat to you
你每天都对几十个病人不断重复的话
What I hear you tell dozens of patients every day --
别熊了
Don't be a freaking baby!
不然我叫克拉克进来旁观你觉得怎么样
Would you feel more comfortable if I had Clark come in to observe?
何止克拉克 不如在线直播
Well, why stop there? Let's stream it live
让我住在圣何塞的表亲也能一起看
so my cousins in San Jose can watch.
反正他们总是问我近况如何
They're always asking me what I'm up to.
我看我倒是可以打给你老婆
I guess I could call your wife
告诉她你不配合
and tell her you're not cooperating.
你的前列腺很健康
So, your prostate's healthy.
血压140/90 有点高啊
140/90. That's a little high.
能不高吗
Of course it's high.
我前一秒还被同事当成手偶一样玩弄
I just had a co-worker treat me like a hand puppet.
你的脉搏是每分钟110下
And your pulse is 110 beats per minute.
你的心电图也显示出心跳过速和室性早搏
And your EKG shows tachycardia with PVCs.
你今晚得带着动态心电图仪过夜
I'm sending you home with a Holter heart monitor to wear overnight.
什么 完全没必要这么夸张啊
What?! No! That's complete overkill!
检查要彻底
Just being thorough.
好吧
Fine.
你没给我做疝气检查我就该谢天谢地了
I guess I should be grateful you didn't put me through a hernia exam.
多谢提醒
Thanks for reminding me!
你这么难搞害我差点忘了
You're such a difficult patient, I almost forgot.
我知道你想要检查得彻底些
Look, I know you're trying to be thorough,
俗语「每块石头都拿开看看」表示检查彻底
但那两个「蛋」你可不能拿起来看
but those two stones are staying unturned.
这里这串数字
And this number here --
是你老婆的手♥机♥号♥ 对吗
This is your wife's cell, correct?
完事啦
Obee-kaybee.
完全健康
Perfectly healthy.
求你这会儿先别看人家眼睛
Please don't look me in the eyes just yet.
看看朱莉对我做了什么
Look what Julie did to me.
我的心率不过稍稍高了一点
My heart rate was slightly elevated,
她就逼我戴这个心电图仪过夜
and now she's forcing me to wear this monitor all night.
我有个朋友埃米尔戴了一个去学校
My friend Amir wore one of those to school,
校长就叫特警队把他抓起来了
and the principal called the S.W.A.T. team.
埃米尔为中东人常见名 炸♥弹♥袭击梗
太束缚人了
It's so constricting.
要是我想去游泳
I mean, what if I want to go swimming
或者想穿件低领上衣该怎么办
or wear something with a plunging neckline?
你说了只戴一晚
You said it was for one night.
明天随你怎么秀乳♥沟♥都可以
Tomorrow you can flaunt all the cleavage you want.
你们看见隔壁的情况了吗
Have you seen what's going on next door?
那个摄制组吃午餐
The film crew is on lunch,
排队都排到咱家车道上来了
and the line is past our driveway.
他们今天吃的芝士煎鸡排 可好吃了
They're serving chicken parm -- dee-lish.
戴夫 关于陌生人给的食物
So, Dave, what did we tell you
爸妈是怎么教你的
about taking food from strangers?
卡洛斯才不是陌生人
Carlos isn't a stranger.
我吃早饭那会儿就认识他了
I've known him since breakfast.
他还叫我「宝贝儿」呢
He calls me "Papi."
新工作怎么样
So, how was the new job?
才一天有点不好说
Kind of hard to judge on one day.
不过鉴于不会有第二天了 不怎么样
But seeing as there won't be another day, it was not great.
你又被开除了
You got fired again?!
搞什么
Come on!
大炮都没像你这么频繁被开
Cannons don't get fired as much as you!
烧陶都没像你这么上火
Pottery doesn't get fired as much as you!
连古巴雪茄 赛前动员大会
Cuban cigars, a crowd at a pep rally,
阿♥拉♥斯加的暖气
a furnace in Alaska --
肯恩 我们懂了
Ken, we get it.
不是我的错
It wasn't my fault.
商场的人居然把卖♥♥苹果手♥机♥壳的货车
It's a cart that sells iPHONE cases,
停在离苹果专卖♥♥店大老远的商场另一头
and they put it at the opposite end of the mall from the Apple store.
所以我做出了行政决定把车挪了
So I made an executive decision and moved it.
你把什么撞了
What did you hit?
我把儿童火车撞出轨了
I derailed a toddler train.
容我辩解一句 在我撞上去之前
In my defense, there was just as much screaming
那里就已经惨叫哭泣不断了
and crying before I hit it.
是你说「万事以公♥司♥利益为重」的
You said, "Do what's best for the business."
你按吩咐办事拿钱就好了
Eh, just do what you're told and make that money.
这就开始打♥压♥我的创业精神了
肯医生（2015）
Dr. Ken
剧集 | 肯医生（2015） | 导航列表