肯医生（2015）

Dr. Ken S01E04

Part 3 Sept. 7, 2020, 10:29 a.m.

Um, okay, don't look now.
内科医学主任在你11点钟方向
11: 00 -- it's the chief of Internal Medicine.
很好我三小时内回来
Great. I will be back in three hours.
什么不
What? No.
吧台边那个金发帅哥
The blond by the bar.
去跟他聊聊
Talk to him.
老天啊好吧
God, okay.
我去了
Here I go.
6号♥桌要四杯金汤力
Need four gin and tonics for table six.
你好我是朱莉·多布斯医生
Hi. I'm Dr. Julie Dobbs.
我叫奥斯丁有什么能为您效劳的
Austin. Can I get you something?
你真太好了我没什么需要的
Oh, that's so nice of you. No, I'm fine.
你工作之余喜欢做什么
So, uh, what do you like to do when you're not at work?
我在车♥库♥乐队里弹贝司
Um, I play bass in a garage band.
我喜欢滑雪
I like to snowboard.
我也是
Oh! Me too.
-真的吗 -不是
- Really? - No.
我不太擅长这种事
Okay, I'm really not good at this whole thing.
我只是奥斯丁我只想说
I just...Austin, I just wanted to say
我希望将来能为你工作
that I would love to work for you one day.
-真的吗 -是的
- Really? - Yeah.
如果你允许我为你工作
And if you let me, you would see
就会发现我是工作最刻苦最积极的了
that no one works as hard or wants it more than I do.
一言为定
Word.
非常感谢
Thank you so much.
没什么的再见
No big. Peace.
再见
Peace.
进展如何
How did it go?
相当顺利
Really well.
我第一次感觉自己
For the first time,
在事业上迈进了一大步你懂吗
I feel like I took a big step forward in my career, you know?
看看你呀
Aww. See?
太好了
So good.
来吧
Come.
你们在这儿呀
Oh, there they are.
艾莉你朋友巴布怎么样了
Oh, Alli, how'd it go with your friend Barb?
她没事
Oh, she's fine.
她参军了
She's...in the army now.
真酷
Oh, cool.
肯恩老兄我超期待你今晚的小品
Uh, Ken, man, I am pumped to see your skits tonight.
谢谢伙计
Yeah, thanks, buddy.
失陪一下
Will you excuse me?
他把我做的事称之为「小品」
He just referred to what I do as "Skits."
天哪他真是个高颜值傻叉
Oh, my God, what a gorgeous idiot.
那不是小品
They're not skits.
那叫挖苦讽刺的解说
They're biting satirical commentary.
他太过分了
He just crossed the line.
等等那样算过分吗
Wait, that crossed a line?
工作上抢你风头还取悦你老婆不过分吗
Not that he upstaged you at work or pleasured your wife.
谁说他取悦她了
Who said he pleasured her?
是啊
Oh, yeah.
他们的聊天肯定相当沉闷无聊
Yeah, I'm sure that must've been a pretty grim slog.
欢迎各位的到来我简短的说一下
Welcome, everyone. Uh, just a quick announcement.
大家好像都用新核磁共振成像机
Seems we've all gone a little scan happy
扫描扫得很开心
with the new MRI machine.
请注意运转那台机器成本很高
Remember, that's very expensive to operate,
所以诊断病人时
so when it comes to diagnosing patients,
别忘了「猜测」这个好用的老法子
let's not discount the value of good old-fashioned guesswork.
现在请大家装作有兴趣的观看
Now, if you could all feign interest
本年度领奖人凯文·欧康奈的
in a brief video tribute
一条简短的回顾录像
to this year's honoree, Dr. Kevin O'Connell.
我也不知道是怎么回事我也
It just happens. It just...
你在干什么
What are you doing?
这些旧东西都过时了
All of the old stuff is out.
今晚就来做撕碎凯文·欧康奈手术
Tonight is operation Shred Kevin O'Connell,
这是我表达「我要撕碎凯文·欧康奈」的方式
Which is my way of saying I'm gonna shred Kevin O'Connell.
现在帮我想想他的缺点
Now help me think of his flaws.
这个不错
Oh, this is good.
你知道他是否守时吗
Do you happen to know if he's punctual?
如果他不守时就有点烦人
Because, you know, if not, that can be mildly annoying.
我这是蒙谁呢
Oh, who am I kidding?
他那样的人没人会介意多等五分钟的
No one would mind waiting five minutes for that.
你到底站谁那边
Whose side are you on?
我永远站在你这边
Yours, always.
难道他说过想拉拢我
Did he say something about wanting me on his side?
我受不了他了
I can't stand that guy!
他都算不上真正的医生不过是整形医生
He's not even a real doctor. He's just a plastic surgeon.
成天只跟乳♥头♥ 鼻子嘴唇屁♥股♥打交道
His whole world is just nips and noses, lips and butts.
我的工作不是修复外貌
My work isn't about restoring appearance.
而是修复自尊
It's about restoring dignity.
地震过后
After the earthquake,
欧康奈医生立即赶往海地帮助孩子们
Dr. O'Connell rushed to Haiti to help the children.
孩子们看到水坑里的倒影
When a child sees a reflection in a puddle,
身上的伤疤开始痊愈
and the physical scars are healing,
也许这样
well, maybe then
他们心里的伤痛也能少些
the emotional ones can begin to heal, as well.
你注意到他老是摸自己的肩膀吗
You notice how he's always rubbing his shoulder?
拜托知道你身材好
Dude, you're ripped. We get it.
「我这一膀子肉可有存在感啦」
"Oh, look at me, I have discernible shoulders.
「如果我背背包绝对滑不下去」
When I put on a backpack, it doesn't just slide off."
怪不得你从来不用背包
Wait, is that why you never wear a backpack?
还有要是太重我会被拽倒
That and if it's too heavy, I fall backwards, okay?
不过这个可以用恋肩癖
But I can work with this. He's shoulder proud.
谁都不喜欢的
Nobody likes that.
「恋肩癖」
"Shoulder...proud."
欧康奈医生冲进一栋破损建筑
As Dr. O'Connell ran out of the crumbling building,
救出了两个孩子
carrying the two children to safety,
可这是屋顶塌陷砸到了他的肩上
the roof collapsed, shattering his shoulder.
但是却没砸到他怀里的小狗
But not the puppy cradled beneath it.
毕竟肩膀可以换
You know, shoulders can be replaced.
但生命换不来
lives can't.
观众很激动啊观众很激动
Okay, hot crowd. Hot crowd!
-加油加油 -好的
- Go, go, go. - Yeah.
你的肩膀果然好松软
Wow, there really is just nothing there.
好
Okay.
真是太励志了
Wow, that is some inspiring stuff.
之后的嘉宾太有压力了
Oh, I just -- I would not want to have to follow that.
接下来是肯恩·朴医生的单口相声
Up next, the comedy stylings of Dr. Ken Park.
请欣赏
So, let's get into it.
说说我们这位荣誉嘉宾「剪」明扼要医生
How about our honoree, Dr. Snip and Tuck?
没事老喜欢摸着自己的肩膀玩玩
Hey, nothing annoying about how he rubs his shoulder so much.
我们看得出来你经常锻炼
We get it, Kev, you go to the gym.
看来得有一个强健的臂膀
I guess he needs those strong shoulders
才有力气扛起那些
to haul those giant bags of boob juice
七尺大「乳」
into everyone's chest.
七尺大♥乳♥
Boob juice?
好吧有人想看模仿吗
Okay, who likes impressions?
我也想看
Me too.
欧康奈医生的一位病人
Um, uh, this is my impression
出席了一场葬礼
of one of Dr. O'Connell's patients at a funeral.
「好难过啊」
"I so sad."
因为皮肤太紧了
Oh, because their skin is so tight
所以做不出其他表情...
that all they can do is --
还有其他的
I got some others. Um...
估计皮条客
Uh, I mean, there are pimps out there
都没像他这样「拉」过这么多道口子
who haven't cut as many faces as that guy, am I right?
给点反应嘛
Come on.
1957年的跨种族夫妻[当时禁止异族通婚]
That guy's raised more eyebrows
都没像他这样让人目瞪口呆
than an interracial couple in 1957!
大家想笑可以笑没关系
Uh, you know, it's okay to laugh, everyone.
我不介意笑声是良药