肯医生（2015）
Dr. Ken
第一季
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肯医生（2015）
Dr. Ken S01E03
Part 3
Sept. 7, 2020, 10:29 a.m.
"Yo, everyone.It's Klompers!"
也可能是「我去 克老胖来了」
Or they could be like, "No, everyone, it's Klompers."
也许是「你们猜谁来啦」
Or it could be, "Guess who's here?
「是克老胖」
It's Klompers!
「而且还带了苹果汁」
And he brought cider?!"
他为什么要带苹果汁
Why is he bringing cider?
不知道 也许是丰收节
I don't know. It's a harvest festival
大家见到他都很开心
and everyone's happy to see him?
宝贝 你很聪明
Look, bae, you're super smart,
但有时候你可能太大惊小怪了
but sometimes you're a little over-thinky.
相信我 这事儿没什么大不了
Trust me. This is so not a big deal.
好吧 你说得有道理
Yeah, you may be right.
那我就不管这事了
I guess I should let this one go.
真乖 来给我香一个
There it is. Now give me some sugar.
那个「小茱娃子」就是你吧
Hey, Julia Louis Doofus was you, wasn't it?
我以前老紧张嘛
I used to get nervous!
派特 我是肯恩
Hey, Pat, it's Ken.
我在找你的船
So I'm looking for your boat,
但是这破导航告诉我
but the old gps here has me a good
附近30英里内并没有水域
30 miles from the nearest body of water.
你是开着灰色车吗
Is that you in the gray car?
我看到你了
Oh, you're here!
向左看
On your left.
你好啊
Ahoy!
还有那盏灯 你也许不信
Oh, and that lamp, believe it or not,
那可是世纪交接的产物
is from the turn of the century.
那盏熔岩灯吗
The lava lamp?
对 我1999年买♥♥的
Yeah, I bought that in 1999.
好吧 就在门铃之后
All right, just under the buzzer, yeah.
真不错
This is great, man.
没想到你这「游艇」居然是陆用的
This is way more "Not in the water" than I expected.
我是想找你谈谈周六加班...
Anyway, about this Saturday thing...
肯恩 我老婆说她不爱我了
Ken, my wife says she no longer loves me.
这么严重
Wow. Segue be damned.
对 我的心肝宝贝说要跟我离婚
Yeah. Yeah, my little flower says she wants a divorce.
她不让我睡在我们的床上了
She's insisting I no longer sleep in our marital bed.
巧得很
which, funny story,
床在我们家里
is located in our marital home,
巧得很
which funny story,
家就在那边车道旁
is located just up that driveway.
好吧 关于周六加班这事...
Anyway, about this Saturday thing...
你为何这么在意这件事
Why are you so concerned about that?
反正只是底层员工受影响
I mean, it only affects the lowers.
我们没关系
Not you and me.
我们只是两个在游艇上的有钱人
No, we're just two rich guys on a yacht.
抱歉 我觉得「游艇」二字有待商榷
Again, I got to throw a flag on "Yacht."
还有你说的「底层员工」
And, you know what, those people you call "Lowers,"
对我来说 是「钱不多的朋友」
I call them "Friends with less money,"
虽然不太好 但是这样听起来更有说服力
which isn't great, but it sells what I'm getting at.
我来这里是要帮他们维♥权♥
And I'm here to stand up for them.
好吧 那回头再说这个事
All right, well, we're gonna have to circle back to that.
肯恩 我叫你来是因为我需要医生
Ken, I asked you here because I need medical attention.
怎么了
Why, what's wrong?
现在还没事
Oh, nothing yet.
但是呢
But in a moment,
我很快就会用这把射钉机
I'm gonna take this nail gun
把一根6公分的钉子
and fire a 2-inch framing nail...
打进小脚趾
into my pinkie toe.
来尝尝蔬菜沙拉
Crudites?
好吧 我也算是去过不少诡异的派对
Look, I've been to some weird parties --
比如托德·雷博曼举办的成人割包皮宴会
Todd Lieberman's Adult Circumcision Luau comes to mind --
但没见过你这么诡异的
But this is by far the weirdest.
肯恩
Look, Ken...
我这段婚姻偶尔会有争吵
See, over the course of my at times turbulent marriage,
蒂芙妮开始觉得我冷酷无情
Tiffany's come to view me as cold and unsympathetic.
怎么可能
No!
你吗
You?
也许听起来很疯狂
It may sound crazy,
但我知道 如果我把钉子打进我的小脚趾
but I know when I pump this little piggy full of hot metal...
她就会知道你彻底疯了吗
She'll know that you're completely bananas?
不 恰恰相反
No, quite the opposite.
不论我病了还是受伤了
No, whenever I was sick or injured,
蒂芙妮总会用爱和关怀来温暖我
Tiffany would always shower me with love and attention.
当年我跳霹雳舞摔碎了尾骨
Ah, our marriage was never stronger
那时候我们的婚姻简直情比金坚
than when I shattered my coccyx breakdancing.
总之 我已经准备好了
Anyway, I think I've got everything
你可能会用到的所有东西
you're gonna need to treat me.
我这有纱布 缝合线
I've got gauze and I' got sutures.
我还从厨房♥搞到了焦糖布丁火枪
Oh, and I even got the creme brulee torch out of our kitchen.
万一你要烧灼伤口呢
In case you have to cauterize the wound.
那 来吧 肯恩
So, what do you say, Ken?
什么鬼 你吃错药了吧
No! What -- no! What is wrong with you?
我才不会干这种事 我是医生
I'm not gonna do this! I'm a doctor!
你真以为冲着脚趾头上钉钉子
Do you honestly think shooting your own toe with a nail
就会让你老婆回心转意吗
is gonna help win your wife back?
当然不会了
Well, of course not.
我打算告诉她我被一个瞎眼流浪汉袭击了
I was gonna tell her I was attacked by a drifter with a milky eye.
或许这样更好 我就说你干的
Or better -- I'll say you did it!
-没人会信的 -真的吗
- No one would believe that. - Oh, really?
那可就是你的一面之词了
Well, it would be your word against mine --
我这么一个受人尊敬的商界人士兼游艇所有者
A respected business- and yachtsman.
你连边儿都不沾
You're neither of those things!
面对着一个刚发现自己
Confronted by a hot-tempered doctor
要周六加班的暴躁医生
who just found out he has to work on Saturdays.
好啊 你要这么做是吧
Oh, okay. So this is how it is?
那你想怎么样呢 肯恩
So, what's it gonna be, Ken?
我能用下卫生间吗
Can I use the bathroom?
当然可以 就在这里
Oh, of course. Yes. It's right in here.
能关门吗
Do you mind?
当然
Oh! Yeah.
肯恩
Hi, Ken.
艾莉森 我需要
Allison, I need --
等下
Hold on.
《逍遥法外》这个女的
The girl on "How To Get Away With Murder"
可能马上就要逍遥法外了
is about to possibly get away with murder.
对 她逍遥了 怎么了
Okay, she did. What's up?
派特要往自己脚趾头上钉钉子
Pat's gonna shoot a nail through his toe
来挽回他老婆
to try to win his wife back!
什么 太扯了
What? That's crazy.
我知道很扯 我该怎么办
I know it's crazy. What do I do?
最重要是不要让他独自一个人待着
Okay, the most important thing is to not leave him alone.
我刚在拿这些小胡萝卜练手
I was practicing on these baby carrots.
吓死哥了
Oh, thank God.
听着 派特 我并不喜欢你
Okay, listen, Pat, I don't like you.
然后呢
And?
我觉得以后也不可能喜欢你
And I don't think I'm ever gonna like you.
但是
But?
但我不在乎这些
But that's okay with me.
因为
Because?
因为你本来就不讨喜
Because you're unlikable.
可是我不能让你这样做
However, I can't let you do this.
如果你想重塑你们的关系
If you want to reboot your relationship,
那需要建立在诚实的基础上
it has to be on a foundation of honesty,
而不是以伤害自己这种可怜的方式来博取同情
not injuring yourself in a pathetic attempt to gain pity.
你是个大男人啊
You're better than that.
也没多男人
Not by a lot...
但你是个男人
But you are.
我想你是对的 肯恩
I guess you're right, Ken.
但我太爱她了
But I love her so much,
爱到会让我想干傻事 你明白吗
It just makes me want to do crazy things, you know?
我觉得我明白
肯医生（2015）
Dr. Ken
剧集 | 肯医生（2015） | 导航列表