生活琐逝（2015）

His wife Kim bought a new air freshener she didn't like the smell.
他老婆Kim买♥♥了瓶空气清新剂 但她并不喜欢那味道
Now her sister convinced her
她的姐妹告诉她
it was too dangerous to put a full can in the bin,
把满满一瓶空气清新剂扔到垃圾箱里太危险了
so she decided to empty it down the toilet.
于是她决定把它都喷到马桶里
None of this was a problem
这本来没有什么问题
except she didn't tell Teddy what she'd done.
除了一点 她没有告诉Teddy她做了什么
Sit yourself down.
坐下吧
Ever since, Teddy Arseholes never sat down if he could help it.
从那以后 烂屁♥股♥Teddy从不坐下 如果他坚持得住的话
Come on then, Arseholes, you know what you've got to do.
那自己动手吧 烂屁♥股♥ 你知道你要做什么的
Ain't still doing that, are you? Come on.
不是还要那么做吧 快点吧
It's her! Going on about Dorset all the fuckin' time.
全怪她 一直喋喋不休地说他妈的多塞特
It's the only reason I took it.
这是我这么做的唯一原因
I don't know what you're talking about Danny, I really don't.
我不知道你什么意思 Danny 我真的不知道
I'm just saying, we're not children any more, are we?
我只是想说 我们不再是小孩了 对吗
Yeah. And?
是的 然后呢
Well, you know, we should take our passion to a higher plane.
嗯 我觉得我们应该把感情上升到一个更高的层面
P-L-A-N-E.
P-L-A-N-E
I am not having it off with you, that's all there is to it.
我不会和你做♥爱♥的 就这样
I didn't say that. That's what you meant, though, isn't it?
我可没那么说 但你就是这意思 不是吗
Will you stop doing that? It's really annoying me.
你能别这样了吗 真的很烦
Don't you feel anything?
你没有点什么感觉吗
Yeah. I'm freezing. Can we go in?
有 我快冷死了 我们可以进去了吗
**Meet me in the playground at a quarter-to-four*
*3点45在操场见我
Come on, get them legs in the air!
把腿都提到空中
You never know your luck in the big city!
在这个大城市里 可不能想着靠运气
Cartwright, get your leg in the air!
Cartwright 腿提高点
You couldn't get an envelope under there.
你腿下边现在连信封都塞不进去
Where's Baker? Where's my team captain? He's not here, sir.
队长Baker在哪儿 教练 他不在这儿
I can see that, you barm cake. Where is he?
我看得出来 你这个蠢包 他在哪儿
He's at photography, sir.
他在学摄影 教练
He's doing what! Future Studies.
他在干啥 未来研究
Right, you lot! Twice round the pitch.
好吧 所有人 绕着场地跑两圈
First, backwards, second time, reverse zigzag!
先倒着跑 然后Z形折返跑
Futuristic? I'll give him futuristic.
未来学 我倒要让他看看未来长啥样
I've never heard owt like it in me life.
这辈子就没有听过这么荒谬的事情
If he thinks I'm going to
如果他觉得
spend 18 hours a day planning a Cup campaign
我每天花18个小时准备布莱克杯所付出的心血
so that he can deliberately sabotage it,
可以被他随意拿来糟蹋的话
he's got another think coming.
那他就大错特错了
Slack work. Slack work!
懒骨头 懒骨头
I like it. Nice colours.
我喜欢 颜色很漂亮
Different side against the wind. You know, it's very pretty.
逆着风的角度 非常美
Miss, I er, I took a photo of that tramp. Tramp?
老师 我 呃 我拍了一张流浪汉的照片 流浪汉
Oh, yes. It's the hair, it makes an interesting composition.
噢 没错 是他的头发 组成了一个很有意思的构图
Great, Danny.
干得漂亮 Danny
OK, who's next? Me, Miss.
好的 下一个该谁了 轮到我了 老师
There you are. Thank you. Here.
给你 多谢了 给你
Wait. With the light, I think...
等一下 按照现在的光线 我觉得
That should be fine. Do you remember?
这样调一下应该就好了 你能记住吗
Yeah. Perfect.
没问题 太好了
Oh, Philip, don't take another picture of the tramp. Why not?
噢 Philip 不要再拍流浪汉的照片了 为什么
Try something different, try and find another aspect of him.
尝试一下不同的东西 试着去寻找他的另一面
Why not take a picture of his bottle or something?
可以去拍他的瓶子或者别的什么东西
Be interesting to see what you've got
回去后在暗室里面看你拍的东西
once we get it back in the dark room.
一定会很有趣
The dark room.
暗室
Philip, what are you doing?
Philip 你在干什么
Taking a picture of the tramp's "Butt hole", like you said, miss.
我在按照你的指示 拍这个流浪汉的"屁♥眼♥"
I thought it made an interesting composition.
我认为它组成了一个很有意思的构图
**I wanna have a girl.*
*我想要一个姑娘
Have you really never been in a bank before, Mr Baker?
你以前真的从没来过银行吗 Baker先生
Never in my life. I've got mates that've been in a few banks,
这辈子都没有 我有些朋友进过几家银行
but never when you're open, if you know what I mean.
不过不是在开门营业的时间去的 你懂我意思吗
So, it's 1,000 pounds you'd like to borrow? A grand, yes.
那么 你想借一千英镑 一千整 没错
And you want the whole amount for a wedding?
你要把这笔钱全部都用于婚礼开销
You ain't seen the size of my family.
你是没见到我有一个多大的家庭
So, how's this work, Chas?
那 Chas 这套流程是怎样进行的
You give me the grand, what's in it for you?
你给我一千镑 你能得到什么呢
Well, I charge you interest, don't I, Mr Baker? Come again?
我向你收利息 不是吗 Baker先生 再说一遍
If I OK you 1,000 pounds,
如果我贷给你1000镑
I'd be looking to get back, at current rates, around 1,100.
按照当前的利率计算 你需要还给我1100镑
Oh, right, right. You're looking for a tonne out of it.
噢 这样啊 你是想从中得到点好处
And that's on top, is it? Yes.
这才是最重要的 对吗 可以这么说
This 100 pounds, where does that come from?
那这100镑要从哪来
Well, that's entirely up to you.
呃 这就由你来决定了
Ah. That's between us, is it? It would be confidential.
啊 就是我们之间的小秘密 是吗 它会是保密的
Confidential? Right. Right, right.
保密的 没错 没错 没错
So, why don't you just give me the 1,100
所以 你为什么不直接给我1100镑
and I'll give you your tonne straight away?
我可以马上就把你要的好处给你
Mr Baker, it's not my 100.
Baker先生 这100镑不属于我的
No, no, no, but it could be, couldn't it?
对 对 对 但是可以属于你 不是吗
If you want to meet me in
如果你想半个小时后
the Duke Of Suffolk in half-an-hour's time,
在萨福克公爵酒吧那边见面
it would be. You see what I'm saying?
那就肯定属于你了 你懂我意思吗
Yeah. You know. You know.
没错 你懂的 你懂的
All right? How did it go, Dad?
回来了 怎么样 爸爸
Bloke was puggled,
那小伙子头脑有点不清楚
I couldn't make head nor tail of him.
我都搞不懂他在说什么
Well, did you get the loan all right?
那你拿到贷款了吗
Yeah, all sorted. Not a bother. Because I was talking to Mum
当然 都办妥了 不用担心 因为我还正跟妈妈说
and I can't decide between Dianne or Maureen.
我不知道要选Dianne还是Maureen当伴娘
I was wondering if I could have four bridesmaids instead of three?
我想不行就多请一个 一共四个伴娘就解决了
Sharon, just talk to your mother.
Sharon 跟你妈妈商量就行
Whatever you want. I'll foot the bill. Thanks, Dad.
不管你想要什么 都由我来买♥♥单 太谢谢你了 老爸
I'm going to call Roger, can I use the phone?
我要给Roger打个电♥话♥ 我能用一下电♥话♥吗
Shilling in the tin.
硬币在锡罐里呢
No good at the bank?
在银行不是那么顺利吧
Oh, Fred. We needed that money. What happened?
噢 Fred 我们需要那笔钱 发生什么事了
Bet, I am never going in one of them places again.
Bet 我绝不会再去那种地方了
It's a different world.
那是个完全不同的世界
I offered him some scope, and he couldn't grasp it.
我提出的合作机会 他完全不能理解
It's like he didn't know what I was talking about!
就像他根本不知道我在说什么一样
I want assurances from you, headmaster, that you've no intention
我要你向我保证 校长 你不会允许Baker
of allowing Baker to transfer from the football team.
从我的足球队里调走的
Transfer?
调走
I've heard the futuristic movement are trying to poach him.
我听说未来派的活动要把他从我这里挖走
Do you mean Future Studies, Miss Blondel?
你指的是未来研究吗 Blondel小姐的课
The only future he should to be studying
他唯一应该研究的未来
is next Wednesday, at 3pm,
是下个礼拜三的下午三点
Coldharbour Playing Fields, the Black Cup Final.
冷港运动场 布莱克杯决赛
There's nothing I can do, Mr Glover,
我也无能为力 Glover先生
this is a school, not football club.
这里是学校 不是足球俱乐部
It's a matter of free will.
我们要尊重个人意愿
Free will? Free will!
个人意愿 个人意愿
What about my free will?
那我的个人意愿呢
My free will to
我的个人意愿就是
deliver the Cup to the board and all the long-suffering fans?
给董事会还有期待已久的粉丝把奖杯带回来
Free will?!
跟我说个人意愿
Again, Mr Glover, this is a school.
重申一次 Glover先生 这里是学校
I'm not Jimmy Hill.
我不是Jimmy Hill
This is not an interview on Match Of The Day.
这也不是每日赛事节目的访谈
What you call fans, we call pupils.
您所说的球迷 我们管他们叫学生
They're children, Mr Glover, in our care.
他们只是被我们照料的孩子 Glover先生
I never expect a manager and a chairman to see eye to eye.
我也不指望球队教练和球队主席能看法一致
But I will tell you this.
但我要告诉你一点
The moment a player has more power than his manager,
如果一个球员拥有比教练更大的权力
football in this country is finished and I can promise you that!
那这个国家的的足球就完蛋了 这点我能跟你保证
What do you think? You've developed it already?
你觉得怎么样 你已经把它洗出来了
Yes, I think it's terrific.
是呀 我觉得这张照片太棒了
You can see all the little lines in his face.
你能看到他脸上所有细小的纹路