主厨的餐桌（2015）

"阿茨先生 我希望你能过来一趟
"Mr. Achatz, we would really like for you to come in.
检测结果出来了"
We have your results."
我说"你就直说吧"
And I'm like, "Just tell me."
我们当时正通着电♥话♥ "你就直说吧"
Like, we're on the phone. "Just tell me what's going on."
他们不肯告诉我
They wouldn't tell me.
我们便去了医院 尼克陪我走进房♥间
We go in. Nick is in the room with me.
那家伙说
The guy says,
"很遗憾告知您 您已经是癌症四B阶段了"
"I'm sorry to say that you have stage IV-B cancer."
我当时脑子里想 "好吧
And in my head I'm like, "All right.
所以有十个阶段吧 对吗
So there's like, ten stages, right?
能有多严重"
How serious is this?"
然后他说
And he goes,
"我们需要摘除你舌头的四分之三
"We're gonna need to remove three-quarters of your tongue,
以及整个左下颌骨和颈部两侧的组织
all of your left mandible and both sides of your neck.
即使这样你仍有百分之七十的可能会丧命"
And there's a 70% chance that you're still gonna die."
我看着他的眼睛说道
I looked him in the eye and said,
"还有其他选择吗"
"Are there any other options?"
他回答道"在我看来 并没有"
And he said, "In my opinion, no."
饼干&肉汁 杰里斯烤肉
"我想知道我会怎样死去"是一回事
It's one thing to go, "Oh, I wonder how I'm gonna die."
而得知"你快要死了"则是另一回事
It's another thing to be told, "You're gonna die."
我为其他人感到难过
I felt bad for other people.
我为我的孩子感到难过
I felt bad for my kids...
他们就要失去父亲了
not to have their dad.
我能看出他开始关上心门
I could see that he was shutting down.
我说"好了 我们走吧"
I was like, "Okay, let's get out of here."
然后我们走去街对面 点了一大罐玛格丽塔酒
And so we went across the street, got a pitcher of margaritas,
一醉方休
and we just got drunk.
我们坐在那 他说"你打算怎么办"
We sat there, and he's like, "What are you gonna do?"
我说
And I go...
"我就打算这么死了啊"
"I'm just gonna die."
他是绝对不会丢下他作为主厨
He definitely did not want to exist without the ability to do
的那个核心身份而苟活于世的
what he viewed as his core personal identity.
他希望得到我的认可不去做那台肢解般的手术
He wanted my approval to not have this dismembering surgery.
他会选择尽可能的优雅地死去
He was gonna choose to die as gracefully as he possibly could.
但那并不是什么良好的境地
That's not a good place to get to.
我们意识到这件事迟早要给媒体知道
We realized that it was gonna get out to the press,
于是我对他说"咱们写过草稿吧"
and so, I said to him, "Let's draft something."
我写了一份 他连看都没兴趣看
I drafted it. He had no interest in even reading it.
他说"我只有不到三个月可以活了
He's like, "I'll be dead in three months.
写不写有差吗"
What difference does it make?"
这件事如果登报 那就是新闻了
By putting that in the paper, though, it's public knowledge.
而当时芝加哥大学
And now, the University of Chicago
拼命地试图阻止我发布这个消息
is trying desperately to get a hold of me.
他们弄到了我家的电♥话♥号♥码 打过来说
And they get my home phone number, and they call and they say,
"带他过来 我们能帮得上忙"
"Get him in here. We can help."
他们给我做了检查 做了个测试
They look me over, they do an exam.
证实了其他医生的
They confirm what everybody else said
诊断结果
in terms of the diagnosis, right?
他们说"没错 你现在患有四阶段癌症"
They're like, "Yes, you have stage IV cancer."
然后又说"但是
And then they go, "However...
我们认为可以在不做手术的情况下进行治疗
we think we can do this without surgery.
而且我们觉得你仍然有百分之七十的几率存活"
And we think that you'll have about a 70% survival rate."
所以 这基本就是
So, it was basically the inverted version
其他医生诊断的反转版本了
of what everyone else is saying.
他们就这样一下子把我的诊断反转了
And they just went... like that.
那是一种临床试验疗法
It was an experimental clinical trial.
他们对于治疗的想法完全不同
They were thinking differently,
先把模型拆开 再重新组装回去
pulling apart the model, putting it back together.
我问"在哪儿签字"
I said, "Where do I sign?"
他们立马拿出文件 然后我们签完便离开了
And they whip out the paper and away we go.
两天之内 我们从
In two days, we went from
接受他要选择死亡这个事实
accepting the fact that he was gonna choose to die to...
一下子转到他接受化疗
he's going for chemo.
化疗持续了12周
It was 12 weeks of chemotherapy.
我清晨五点半去接受化疗
I would get there at 5:30 in the morning, take the chemotherapy.
然后回到餐厅做准备工作
Then I would come back to the restaurant, prep,
接着再回去做第二轮
go back down there for my second round...
然后再回来上班
and then make my way up here for service.
生理上 我的情况很糟糕
Physically, I was in pretty rough shape.
放疗从鼻尖一直到咽喉
They radiated me from the tip of my nose to my collarbone.
基本上是非常严重的灼伤
It basically gave me a super bad sunburn.
然后那些皮肤就坏死掉了
And then that skin died.
接着便是脱落
And then it shed.
所以 基本上 所有一切都被剥离了
So, literally, everything just kind of got stripped away,
包括我的味蕾
including my taste buds.
当阿茨第一次接受治疗之时
When Achatz first went into treatment,
他不相信他会失去味觉
he didn't believe he was gonna lose his taste.
那段时间 我们品尝菜品的时候
There were days we were tasting stuff out,
他会突然说 "这个还得多放点盐"
and all of a sudden he'd say, "This needs way more salt."
戴夫·博兰
下一站餐厅 行政主厨
我们就都看着他 然后他说
We'd all look at him and he'd be like,
"盐已经放够了 是吗"
"This has enough salt, doesn't it?"
我们就说"是的 主厨"
We'd be like, "Yes, Chef."
我意识到
I realized that...
我尝不出味道了
I couldn't taste.
所有的图表和扫描都显示肿瘤在缩小
All the charting and scans were showing tumor size reduction.
但是医生们都无法确切地告诉我
But, the doctors couldn't tell me with any certainty...
我的味觉是否还能恢复
that I would ever be able to taste again.
如果你尝不到味道 你怎么当主厨呢
How can you be a chef? How can you cook...
怎么进行烹饪呢
and not be able to taste?
他迷失了
He was lost.
他曾经能做的事现在却做不了了
The one thing that he did, he couldn't do.
就那样了 当时他的一生就只能那样了
That was it. That was his entire life there.
大家都害怕餐厅会日渐凋敝
Everybody was fearful that the restaurant would get really slow.
我觉得我必须证明自己还能战斗
I felt like I had to prove that I was still in the game.
我感觉到了心中依然闪耀的那股决心
I feel like the determination kicked in.
我们需要向世人展示我们依然在创新
We need to keep showing people that we're still innovating.
他会在纸上画一道菜
He would sketch a dish on paper
然后拍下来发给我们
and take a photo of it and send it to us.
他会说"烤面包糊 一定确保烤到微糊
He'll be like, "Burnt bread purée. Make sure it's burnt.
烤
橡木
用这种酸调味 但是不要太酸"
Season it with this acid, but not too acidic."
我们对用量反反复复地进行试验和确认
We'd go back and forth on the scale of, like,
"如果酸黄瓜酸度是五 面包片是一
"If a pickle's a five and bread's a one,
你想要多酸"
how acidic do you want it?"
我发现这是理解味道的
That, I found, was really the best way to understand
最佳方式
what things should taste like.
我脑中突然迸出了一个想法
There was a light bulb that went off and said...
"有史以来我第一次觉得即使自己尝不出味道
"For the first time ever, I think I can be a chef
也依然可以当主厨
without being able to taste.
因为决定因素在这里
Because it's up here.
而不是这里"
It's not here."
这听起来有点怪怪的
This is gonna kind of sound weird,
但是我真的认为是这场病教会了他如何当主厨
but I honestly think him being sick taught him how to be a chef.
以前 他总是亲力亲为
Before, it was always he had to do it,
在允许其他任何人进行摆盘之前他都会用
and he would plate the dish for the first week or two weeks
一到两周的时间亲自完成一道新菜的摆盘
before anyone was allowed to plate it.
现在他连食材都不碰就能创作出新的美食
Now he's creating food without ever touching it.
我们能想出更好的做法
We can figure out something better.
我意识到 要成为世界一流的餐厅
I realized that, to make a world-class restaurant,
仅凭一己之力是不行的
you can't do it yourself.
你必须听取所有人的声音
You have to take the voice of all these people.
所以我说”我们得拥抱这种变化
So I said, "We need to engender this.
我们不应该禁锢思维 而是应该将其发散"
We shouldn't box it in. We should blow it out."
我还记得跟主厨们坐在一起 我说
I remember sitting at the table with the chefs, and I go,
"早在2002年 我就有个
"Back in 2002, I had this idea where we inflated
给芝士充气的想法
a piece of cheese.
如果让它飘起来呢
But what if this was floating?
我们应该尝试做出能飘起来的食物"
We should try to come up with food that floats."
然后迈克就说"我来做"