不列颠尼亚

三户人家被你的士兵杀死
Three families were killed by your soldiers.
他们只是想崇拜我们的神 泰兰尼斯
They were trying to worship our god, Taranis.
一个小失误 我很高兴你能提出来
It's a foul business and I'm glad you bring it up.
我邀请你们来的目的
Because stopping such mix-ups
就是中止这场混乱
is the reason I've invited you all here.
这是我们的土地 我们的神明
- These are our lands, our gods.
但现在是帝国的一部分了
But you are part of the empire now.
我们希望你们能自♥由♥地
We want you to be free
以各种方式崇拜你们的神
to worship your gods in any way you choose.
我们只是要求你们起一个我们熟悉的名字
All we ask is you call them something we recognize,
一个罗马名字
a Roman name.
但神的名字是神圣的
But the names of the gods are sacred.
- 你的妻子叫什么 - 他有五个妻子
- What's your wife's name? - He has five wives.
其中一个就好
One will do.
- 瓦娜 - 瓦娜
- Vanna. - Vanna.
一天晚上瓦娜回到家 她说 从现在开始
So, Vanna comes home one night and she says from now on,
她想被叫做德丹娜
she wants to be called Dudunda.
她看起来是瓦娜
She still looks like Vanna,
说起话来也是瓦娜 她仍然为你暖床
talks like Vanna, she's still warming your bed.
你们的泰兰尼斯 是众神之王
This Taranis of yours, is the king of the gods.
我们的众神之王则是朱庇特
Well, our king of the gods is Jupiter.
朱庇特有多少手臂
How many arms does this Jupiter have?
泰兰尼斯有八条手臂和六根鸡♥巴♥
Taranis has eight and six cocks.
那武尔坎怎么样 他非常了不起
How about Vulcan? He's quite a sight.
凶猛 还有很多手臂 他最符合泰兰尼斯
Fierce, lots of arms. He'd be a match for Taranis.
- 他有六根鸡♥巴♥吗 - 等下 暂停一下
- Does he have six cocks - Wait. Stop, stop!
你在我的浴缸里小便吗
Are you pissing in my bath?
- 没有 - 你有 看你脸上的表情
- No. - You are. You are doing that face.
- 我没有 - 没有人...
- I'm not. - Nobody...
可以在我的浴缸里小便
... pisses in my bath.
没有人
Nobody.
我对泰兰尼斯发誓
I swear by Taranis.
我觉得你应该说武尔坎
Oh, I think you mean Vulcan.
我对武尔坎发誓
I swear by Vulcan.
就是这样 并不难 不是吗
There. That wasn't so hard, was it?
原谅我 母亲
Forgive me, Mother.
你个傻屌♥
You fool.
豪尔文国王...
King Halwyn...
欢迎来到未来
Welcome to the future.
加把劲 小伙子们
Come on, lads.
将军
General?
这样下去我们是找不到那个女孩的
We won't find the girl this way.
我们要扩大范围
We need to widen the net.
将军 皇帝陛下驾到
General, the emperor's caravan approaches.
谢谢 迪坎奴斯
Thank you, Decanus.
到村庄去 到境内所有居民的家中去
Go to the villages, every settlement in the territory.
挨家挨户地搜
Knock on doors.
- 这些俘虏怎么办 - 处理掉
- What shall I do with the captives? - Get rid of them.
- 阿梅纳女王 - 柏菲提斯
- Queen Amena. - Perfectis.
傍晚前准备好一百名骑兵
I want 100 horsemen ready by nightfall.
遵命 将军
Aye, General.
- 你有了一个新盟友 - 戴非格...
- You have a new ally. - Defed...
戴洛格 德梅泰的戴洛格
Derog. Derog of the Demetae.
德梅泰的豪尔文
Halwyn of the Demetae.
他不是那个沙雕弟弟吗
- Isn't he the stupid brother?
现在他是那个有用的弟弟了
- Well, now he's the useful brother.
我以为我们的目标是戴洛格
- I thought we were going for Derog.
戴洛格不是当国王的料
- Derog wasn't king material.
戴洛格是名战士 一个传奇
Derog's a warrior. A legend.
戴洛格死了
Derog's dead.
豪尔文够走运的啊
Oh, that does tip things in Halwyn's favor.
我相信他会干得很出色
I'm sure he'll do an excellent job.
一百名骑兵
A hundred horsemen.
你说什么
Excuse me?
我不小心听到了 好刺♥激♥
I couldn't help overhearing. Exciting.
出什么事了吗
Is there something afoot?
打住 不要因为我们上♥床♥了...
Now, now. Just because we share a bed...
我可没有套情报
I wasn't prying.
只是作为盟友 在替你着想
I just feel as your ally,
有人惹你了吗
has someone upset you?
你要率军去烧了他们的村子吗
Are you going to ride in and burn their village?
谁 我吗
Who, me?
你误会我了 陛下
You misunderstand me, Your Majesty.
我在寻找一件东西
I'm looking for something.
一件属于我的东西
Something that belongs to me.
一件我特别 特别想要的东西
Something I want very, very badly.
什么东西
And what do you want
让你如此痴迷
very, very badly?
我可以告诉你 我现在不想要什么
I'll tell you what I don't want right now.
克劳迪亚斯大帝 欢迎莅临不列颠尼亚
Emperor Claudius, welcome to Britannia.
相信您的旅途还算愉快
I trust your journey was a pleasant one.
整个国家就像个茅坑 你的医生呢
The whole country's a toilet. Where's your physician?
- 医生吗 陛下 - 对 医生
- Physician, my Lord? - Yes, man. A doctor.
您不舒服吗 我的陛下
Is my Emperor unwell?
死要面子活受罪
Comfy, they said, fit for a god.
那头肥象的脊梁骨就像个攻城锤
That fat beast's got a backbone like a battering ram.
我他妈就在上面坐了五分钟 就快把我颠死了
I've been on it for five-fuck-arse minutes, I've got the shakes,
大象吵得我头都要炸了
the voices, my head is on fire,
痔疮都快长到我脚脖子了
and I've got piles to my fucking ankles.
传令官 叫医生来 快去
Commander, a physician. Now!
妈拉个巴子的
Fucking Jupiter!
- 小心点 - 我尽力
- Take care, would you? - I'm doing my best.
说吧 我错过了什么
So, come on. What have I missed?
凯迪和爱西尼均已平定
All Cantii and Iceni lands are pacified.
叛军向北逃窜
Rebels fled north,
第九军团沿途追击 并吞并了所有通敌部落
the Ninth pursued and annexed any sympathetic tribes.
抱歉 陛下
My apologies, Caesar.
目前 我们治下的不列颠尼亚 南起南海岸
Our control of Britannia now stretches from the southern coast
北至北部林德姆山区
to Lindum Colonia in the north, to the mountains.
- 同时 阿特雷巴特人... - 我日
- Meanwhile the Atrebates... - Fucking...
跟你们说 我的屁♥眼♥算是废了
I tell you this arse is shot.
我真想封上它 然后在旁边再开个新的
I'm thinking of closing it and opening a new one nearby.
一千英里
A thousand miles.
一个又一个破烂行省
Province after dull fucking province.
以前我读书少 不知道还有这么牛叉的地方
Little did I know, I'd swap them all for this place.
在这堆 "粪坑" 里
In the pantheon of "Right Shit Holes",
看来不列颠尼亚算香的了
Britannia is up there.
陛下 不列颠尼亚是个奇怪的地方
Britannia is strange, my Lord.
起初您会觉得 "有点诡异"
First you think, "This is a bit weird."
但是慢慢地 您会喜欢上这里 您瞧着吧
But slowly, very slowly it grows on you. You watch.
日他大爷的
Hm. Fuck arse!
- 这是什么 - 啊
- What's this? - Ah!
本地人希望为您建一座神庙
The locals wish to consecrate a temple in your honor.
就这个
Is that it?
目前来看 是的
So far. Yes.
多米提斯 记下来
Domitius, write this down,
"神庙由大理石筑造
"The temple was hewn from marble.
四百尺宽 八百尺长
400 cubits by 800-fuck-arse-cubits,
以银饰和雪花石膏做点缀"
trimmed in silver and alabaster."
遵命 陛下
Yes, Lord Caesar.
这个地方怎么还没搞定 你都来了两年了
Why isn't this place finished? You've been here two years.
占领过程并不像我们想象中那么顺利
The invasion is proving a little more arduous than we'd hoped.
通向荣耀的路途是漫长的
The road to glory is a long one.
说到路途漫长 你该回家了
Speaking of long roads, you're going home.
陛下
My Lord?
国家要为我举办凯♥旋♥仪式
I'm to be given a triumph,
庆祝征服不列颠尼亚
the conquering of Britannia.
你可是我的吉祥物 小金童
You're my mascot. The golden boy.
场面很大 你会喜欢的
Big show, you'll enjoy it.
您要召我回罗马吗
I'm being recalled to Rome?