小谢尔顿

Young Sheldon S02E19

Part 2 Oct. 25, 2019, 10:29 a.m.

Class president.
您有任何帮助胜选的建议分享吗
Do you have any advice on how to win?
最重要的事情就是走入选区
The most important thing is to get out there
与选民们建立感情
and connect with people.
这有点难啊
That's tricky.
我不是这么喜欢跟人接触
I'm not terribly fond of people.
那你可能得克服这一点
Well, you might need to get over that.
假设我能做到这个
Assuming I can,
我该如何跟他们建立起感情呢
how do I connect with them?
一个友善的握手是很好的开始
A friendly handshake is a great start.
要命
Oh, boy.
现在我还得碰他们吗
Now I have to touch them?
在接下来的几天中
Over the next few days,
我开始了竞选活动
I mounted my campaign.
我叫谢尔顿·库珀我将要竞选学生会主席
My name is Sheldon Cooper, and I'm runing for class president.
好吧
Okay.
来握个爪吧
Put her there.
各位同学你们好啊
Greetings, fellow students.
我将要竞选学生会主席
I'm running for class president.
这是我的选民纪念胸章
Here's a button.
记得请大人帮你们别上
Have a grown-up put them on you.
针很锋利
They're sharp.
你好
Hello.
我叫谢尔顿·库珀
I'm Sheldon Cooper,
我将要竞选学生会主席
and I'm running for class president.
-然后呢 -据我了解你去年生过孩子
- Yeah? - ‭I understand you had a baby last year.
如果你带它来我会试着亲它
If you bring it in, I'll try to kiss it.
一人一票让谢尔顿当学生会主席
Vote Sheldon for class president.
一人一票让谢尔顿当学生会主席
Vote Sheldon for class president.
一人一票让谢尔顿当学生会主席
Vote Sheldon for class president.
别担心是2B铅笔
Don't worry-- it's a number two.
正常考试都能使用
You can use it on standardized tests.
好吧
Okay.
当然啦写作业也能用
And, of course, homework.
我可喜欢作业了
I love homework.
很高兴终于见到你了
Well, it's so nice to finally meet you.
我叫内尔·卡瓦诺
I'm Nell Cavanaugh.
我的竞选对手
My opponent.
我很乐意跟你握手但我的手套我妈拿去洗了
I would shake your hand, but my mom is washing my mittens.
好吧
Okay.
她人很好呢
She was really nice.
她还说"希望最适任的学生能赢"
She even said, "May the best student win."
那很棒啊
That's sweet.
这真是个好主意
This was a great idea.
孩子们都喜欢小蛋糕通过送他们小蛋糕
Children like cupcakes, and, by giving them cupcakes,
他们就会把这喜爱转移到我身上
they'll transfer that affinity to me.
也是可以用这个角度看啦
That's another way of looking at it.
根据这个道理有钱人可以轻松买♥♥到选票
By that reasoning, a rich person could simply buy people's votes.
买♥♥票不是什么新鲜事了
It's been known to happen.
等我也有钱了
Until my ship comes in,
应该是说等我的小蛋糕好了吧
I guess it's cupcakes.
小乔治你看看
Georgie, check it out.
妈呀我真的很讨厌他这样
Oh, man, I hate that he's doing this.
怎么会很萌啊
What? It's cute.
太丢我脸了
It's embarrassing.
我觉得你应该会以他为荣才对啊
I would think you'd be proud of him.
那是因为你是个比我好太多的人
That's 'cause you're a better person than me.
或许你该请求上帝把你的愤怒拿走
Maybe you ought to ask God to take away your anger
并将之转为爱
and replace it with love.
那我能请求他改把我弟弟带走吗
Can I ask him to take away my brother instead?
小乔治
Georgie.
不是拿去宰了啦
Not kill him--
只是把他放逐到某个孤岛上而已
just strand him on an island somewhere.
一个美好的岛屿
A nice island,
上面有椰子那一类的东西
with coconuts and stuff.
就是投给更多作业一票
内尔·卡瓦诺
Nell Cavanaugh,
看来我们是要脱手套决斗一场了
it appears we're taking the mittens off.
这真是坏啊
Well, that's unfortunate.
这何止是坏啊
Oh, this goes well beyond unfortunate.
这是大大的不公
It's flat-out unfair.
那你没说过你最爱作业吗
Did you not say that you love homework?
我当然说过啊我整天说
Of course I said it. I say it all the time.
但她断章取义再用那话来攻击我
But she took it out of context and is using it against me.
政♥治♥就是这样啊
Well, that is what happens in politics.
人们扭曲事实
People stretch the truth.
那些人可真是狗啊
Well, those people are dirty dogs.
他们绝对是
They certainly are.
让我问你个问题
Now, let me ask you something.
你有多想赢这场选举
How bad do you want to win this election?
想赢到愿意让105个孩子握我的手套
Bad enough to let 105 kids shake my mitten.
行那你就得硬气起来
Okay, then you need to toughen up.
政♥治♥不是给弱鸡玩的
Politics is not for the weak-kneed.
你是在建议我以毒攻毒吗
Are you suggesting that I fight fire with fire?
是的
I am.
所以我回房♥间对着枕头哭是不行的
So going to my room and crying in my pillow is not an option?
不行
It is not.
那我得好好琢磨琢磨了
Then I have some thinking to do.
是的
Oh, yeah.
你死定了
You're screwed.
所以我需要你的帮助
Which is why I need your help.
为什么找我
Why me?
你冷血无情
You're ruthless.
你玩桌游《糖果乐园》都作弊
I've seen you cheat at Candy Land.
多谢夸奖继续说
Thanks. Go on.
我想报复
Well, I'd like to retaliate,
但我对她一无所知
but I don't know anything about her.
那就编些负面的事
Make something up.
告诉大家她长了头虱
Ooh, tell people she has head lice.
我不想靠说谎达到目的
I won't resort to lying.
我班上有一个丹妮丝·卡瓦诺
There's a Denise Cavanaugh in my class.
这人可能是她姐姐
Could be her little sister.
所以呢
So?
我看能不能从她那套出内尔的黑料
I'll see if I can dig up something about Nell
你可以拿来攻击她
you can use against her.
谢谢你
Thank you.
小乔治我觉得问出口很失礼
Georgie, I hate to have to ask this,
不过你打算投票给我吗
but are you going to vote for me?
不走开
No. Go away.
你确定吗
Are you sure?
如果我赢了就任命你为走廊纠察员
If I win, I can make you a hall monitor.
想想你会得到多少尊敬
Imagine the respect you'll get then.
滚吧
Get lost.
主啊
Lord,
请您浇熄我被我蠢弟弟激起的怒火吧
please take away my anger toward my stupid brother.
我的生活已经很苦
My life is hard enough.
别让他当上学生会主席
Don't let him be president.
趁刚好在聊天
And while we're talking,
维罗妮卡的事就拜托你啦
Veronica-- help me out.
鼓励她跟我做些她以后会后悔的坏事
Encourage her to do something with me she'll regret.
阿门
Amen.
记好了
Remember,
明天我们要解剖蚯蚓
tomorrow we'll be dissecting worms!
你们的悲伤使我快乐
Ah, your sadness makes me happy.
吉文斯老师我想告诉你一声
Mr. Givens, I just wanted you to know
我仍在努力参选
that I'm still working hard on my campaign
希望能为科学部门争取到更多资金
to get more funding for the science department.
太好了因为明天的蚯蚓我还得自己挖
Oh, great, 'cause I've got to dig up tomorrow's worms myself.
如果有能助我在选举日当天得到决定性胜利的事
Anything you can do to help me win a decisive victory
那可能就要拜托您啦
come Election Day would be much appreciated.
抱歉谢尔顿
Oh, well, I'm sorry, Sheldon,