小谢尔顿

Young Sheldon S02E11

Part 3 Oct. 25, 2019, 10:29 a.m.

We'll circle back to that. True or false?
你有时会说自己很笨
At times, you have referred to yourself as being dumb.
对
True.
你喜欢那种感受吗
And do you enjoy feeling that way?
不喜欢
No.
我能改变这点
Well, let me change that.
我为你提供一个机会
I'm presenting you with an opportunity
能让你最大程度开♥发♥你的大脑
to achieve the full potential of your mind.
你是不是打算做试验让我俩换脑
Are you gonna do some experiment where we switch brains?
不是
No.
《盖里甘的岛》和《摩登原始人》里
'Cause I've seen it on Gilligan's Island
都有这种试验
and I've seen it on The Flintstones
从来没好结果
and it never goes well.
对了盖里甘
Ooh. Gilligan.
♪我灵歌♥唱赞美救主我神♪
♪ Then sings my soul, my savior God... ♪
你现在想骗谁呢
Oh, who do you think you're fooling here?
我不知道你在说什么
I have no idea what you're talking about.
听着维罗妮卡家里情况很糟
Listen to me. Veronica has a rough family situation,
她努力想改善自己的人生
and she's trying to improve her life.
我很敬佩她非常鼓舞人
And I admire that. Very inspirational.
小乔治
Georgie,
相信我看到你去教堂我很欣慰
believe me, I'm glad to see you in a church,
但我不希望你占那个女孩的便宜
but I do not want you taking advantage of that girl.
占便宜我和她只是学圣经小伙伴仅此而已
Taking advantage? Veronica and I are Bible buddies, nothing more.
-我是说真的 -好吧
- I'm serious. ‭- Right.
或许你该扪心自问
Maybe you should ask yourself what's in you
你内心有什么邪念才会觉得别人也心有邪念
that makes you see sin in the hearts of others.
你这就太过分了
Okay, now you're pushing it.
我主耶稣请你帮我母亲别成天发火
Lord Jesus, please help my mother with her anger.
-你能说阿门吗 -不行
- Can I get an amen? ‭- No.
我们为什么需要摄像机
Why do we need the camera?
这样后人就能看到你的转变了
So people in the future can see your transformation.
你要去哪
Where are you going?
去换上裙子给后人看
To put on a dress for the future people.
你们好后人
Hello, people of the future.
我叫米希·库珀这是我的挚友塞莱斯特
My name is Missy Cooper and this is my best friend Celeste.
她正跟乔伊·劳伦斯交往呢
She's dating Joey Lawrence.
周六想一起玩吗
You want to hang out Saturday?
不行我约好了要去受洗
Can't. I signed up to get baptized.
对哦我一直想受洗来着
Oh, yeah. I've been meaning to do that.
不如你跟我去我们可以一起受洗
Well, why don't you join me? We could do it together.
好啊你跟我一起泡水里我喜欢
Sure. You and me, getting double dunked. I like it.
你能想象之后会怎样吗
Can you imagine afterwards?
我们所有罪孽都会被洗去
All of our sins will be washed away.
是啊我们可以开始犯新的罪过了
Yeah, and we can start cranking out fresh ones.
我只是不知道哪一步做错了
I just don't know where I went wrong.
你确定你的提问够高明吗
Are you sure your questioning was skillful?
我本以为够了但询问她两小时后
I thought so, but after two hours of interrogation,
我从我妹妹脑袋里挖出来的
all I could extract from my sister's brain
就只有某种印有顽童的砖块
was that there was some sort of block with new kids on it.
谢尔顿你的教育项目进行得如何
Sheldon, how's your educational project going?
很不顺利我碰壁了
Poorly. I've hit a wall.
考虑过行为主义心理学家斯金纳的行为矫正术吗
Have you considered B.F. Skinner's behavior modification?
-那是什么 -这种疗法
- What's that? ‭- It uses punishment
通过使用奖罚制度来获得你想要的结果
and reward to get the results you want.
惩罚啊这个我一听就喜欢
Ooh, punishment. I like the sound of that.
在合适的语境下我也喜欢
In the right context, so do I.
我在掷骰子那桌输得很惨
I took a real beating at the craps table,
之后又在加勒比海扑克中全赢回来了
and then I won it all back playing Caribbean Stud Poker.
加勒比海扑克是怎么玩的
Well, how does Caribbean Stud Poker work?
鬼知道我当时醉得一塌糊涂
I have no idea. I was drunk off my ass.
做得好妈妈
Way to go, Mom.
身为基♥督♥徒这样过日子真棒
Way to lead a Christian life.
我女儿瞧不起我吗
Oh, does my daughter think poorly of me?
是的
Yes.
太好了我能含笑而终了
Good. I can die happy.
老妈跟你说一声我明天要去受洗
Hey, Mom, just a heads-up, I'm getting baptized tomorrow.
老天
Good Lord.
这孩子真是精虫上脑了
That boy's randiness knows no bounds.
你在说什么呢
What are you talking about?
他那么做
He's only doing it
都是为了那个叫维罗妮卡的女孩
'cause of that Veronica girl.
当然了完全说得通
Oh, sure. That makes sense.
说得通是什么意思
What do you mean, it makes sense?
我在他那般大时曾搭便车到佛罗里达
When I was his age, I hitchhiked to Florida
就因为我一朋友的女友认识一个女孩
'cause I had a friend that had a girlfriend
也许愿意跟我上♥床♥
who knew a girl who might be willing.
但之后你认识了我女儿
But then you met my daughter
就不用跑那么远了
and you didn't have to travel so far.
根据斯金纳的理论
According to B.F. Skinner,
如果我能找到适当的惩罚来激励米希
if I can find the appropriate punishment to motivate Missy,
她便无所不能
there's no limit to what she might be able to learn.
但用哪种惩罚好呢
But what might that punishment be?
用橡胶软管鞭打她
Whip her with a rubber hose?
不行那样我估计会得肌腱炎
No. That sounds like a recipe for tendonitis.
用微弱的电电击她呢
Administer small electric shocks?
很难办
Tricky.
如果我弄错电压了我余生就要在
If I get the voltage wrong, I could spend the rest of my life
精神病犯的监狱度过
in an institution for the criminally insane.
或者我把惩罚施加在她珍视超过生命的物体上
Or I inflict harm on the object she loves more than life itself.
塞莱斯特你要成为科学历史的一部分了
Celeste, you're about to become part of scientific history.
好了各位欢迎来到1990年
All right, everybody, welcome to the 1990
东德州受洗奥♥运♥会
East Texas Baptist Olympics.
因为我们在一个池水里
'Cause we're in the pool of water.
言归正传我想要欢迎
Anyway, I want to welcome
我们的新姐妹维罗妮卡·邓肯
our little sister Veronica Duncan,
她马上要被我扣水里[音似邓肯]
who I will be dunkin'.
抱歉
Sorry.
我忍♥不住说笑我也想欢迎
I can't turn it off. And I also want to welcome
小乔治·库珀他最近也找到了亲近主的路
George Cooper, who has recently found his way to the Lord.
大家好赞美耶稣
Howdy. Praise Jesus.
你准备好来学习高级微积分了吗
Are you ready to learn some advanced calculus?
我不
Nope.
马上回来
Be right back.
您慢慢来
Take your time.
维罗妮卡你愿意相信耶稣基♥督♥
Veronica, do you trust in Jesus Christ
成为你的上帝与救主吗
as your personal Lord and savior?
我愿意
I do.
根据你对信仰的宣誓
It's upon your profession of faith
我将为施行洗礼我的姐妹
that I baptize you, my sister,
以圣父圣子与圣灵的名义阿门
in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
哇靠
Dang.
好了再来试一次
All right, let's try this again.
你准备好来学习高级微积分
Would you be ready to learn some advanced calculus
来拯救塞莱斯特的辫子吗
if it saved Celeste's pigtails?
你在干嘛把她放下
What are you doing? Put her down.
我矫正你的行为之前是不会放下的
Not until I modify your behavior.
以圣父圣子与圣灵的名义阿门
In the name of the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
谢尔顿我警告你
Sheldon, I'm warning you.
哈雷路亚
Hallelujah!
我们成功啦
We did it!
我好高兴啊
Ooh, I'm so happy.
我爱你
I love you.
成功了吗你受到激励了吗
Is it working? Are you feeling motivated?
非常
Very.
要解释一下你们的行为吗
Care to explain yourself?
我当时是在试着激励米希
I was trying to motivate Missy
来扩展她的智力
to expand her intellectual horizons.
靠虐待她的椰菜娃娃吗
By torturing her Cabbage Patch doll?
我又没有用电来电她
Well, it's not like I shocked her with electrodes,
-本来这也在考虑范围里呢 -够了