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Sheldon does our taxes.
以前我们给她贴纸作为酬劳
Oh! Yeah, we used to pay her in stickers,
但今年她开始管我们要钱了
but, this year, she actually started asking for money.
千万别让谢尔顿听见了
Well, don't let Sheldon hear that.
我们都只付他装订夹
We pay him in binder clips.
他喜欢让一切井井有条
He loves being organized.
可不是嘛
Boy, does he.
我们每次去超♥市♥ 他都要把所有瓶子
We can't go to the grocery store without him making sure
摆成标签对着外面
that all the labels are facing the right way.
负责货架的员工每次见到他都超开心
Oh, the stock boys there are always so happy to see him.
真可爱
That's adorable.
我们重装♥修♥完浴室后 他嫌有两块瓷砖贴歪了
Well, it wasn't adorable when we redid our shower
而不肯用 那时就不可爱了
and he wouldn't use it 'cause two of the tiles were crooked.
我们重新弄好之前
He took baths in the sink
他都坚持在水槽里洗澡
until we got it fixed.
佩吉也会做这种怪事吗
So does Paige do any quirky stuff like that?
-没 -其实不会
- No. - Not really.
由于我们要一起度过几小时
Now, since we'll be spending a few hours together,
我列出了一些活动 让我们有事可做
I've created a list of activities to keep us occupied.
我们先参观我的房♥间
We'll start with a tour of my room,
然后玩桌游 要是还有时间
then board games, and, if time permits,
你可以看我的火车模型 但不许碰
you can look at and not touch my trains.
是《小马宝莉》呀
Oh, My Little Pony.
我超喜欢《小马宝莉》
I love My Little Pony.
那是我姐姐的 不在参观行程里
That's my sister's, and it's not part of the tour.
我也跟我姐姐共用一个房♥间
I share a room with my sister, too.
超好玩的
It's super fun.
你大错特错了
You're wrong.
这边是我的书桌
Now, over here, we have my desk.
这是我的电脑
This is my computer.
那是我的鼠标
That's my mouse.
这是我的打印机 这些是打印机用纸
This is my printer. This is the paper that goes in the printer.
这盒是备用纸
This is a box of extra paper
也是打印机要用的
that also goes in the printer.
而这张是质子教授的签名照片
And this is my signed picture of Professor Proton.
你有看这个节目吗
Do you watch his show?
没有 我不太喜欢
No. I don't really like it.
你不喜欢吗
You don't?
我觉得他很无聊
I think he's boring.
而且他把什么东西都白♥痴♥化来教
And he dumbs everything down.
科林纳啊 别在这一刻弃我而去
Come on, Kolinahr, don't fail me now.
接下来 我们参观...
And next on the tour, we have...
一盏灯
a lamp.
这没能让我好过些
This is not making me feel better.
他们的孩子很完美
Their kid is perfect.
我们家孩子也是啊
And so is ours.
原来我们要互相欺骗 行吧
So we're lying to each other. Fine.
能认识另一家跟我们情况类似的家庭
It's just nice to get to know another family
是挺好的事嘛
who's in a similar situation as us.
还在说谎
And we're still lying.
你读几年级
What grade are you in?
八年级
Eighth.
你呢
You?
十年级
Tenth.
酷
Cool.
没人问我 但我读四年级
Nobody asked, but fourth.
大人为什么都这样
Why do grownups do this?
他们喜欢把孩子乱凑一起
They love to stick random kids together
觉得他们一定能成为朋友
and expect them to just be friends.
就是啊
I know.
我超讨厌这样
I hate that.
喜剧《新鲜王子妙事多》说得对
Fresh Prince is right.
家长就是屁都不懂[有同名歌♥曲]
Parents just don't understand.
我很喜欢那首歌♥
I love that song.
我有那首歌♥的卡带
I have a cassette of it,
但我是用录音机录的广播
but I recorded it off the radio.
你能听见谢尔顿在后面
You can hear Sheldon in the background
说艾萨克·猪顿爵士[牛顿]的事
saying stuff about Sir Isaac Neutron.
我妹妹也是老提起他
Ugh, my sister's always talking about him.
真不知道为什么
I don't know why.
他好像已经死了
I think he's dead.
你不知道有一个像他这样的弟弟
You have no idea how much it sucks
是多糟心的事
to have a brother like him.
不管你信不信 他跟我同班
Believe it or not, he's in my class.
我父母送佩吉去念私立学校
My parents sent Paige to a private school.
真好 我们家穷读不起私立学校
Cool. We're too poor for that.
谢尔顿会让你们觉得自己很笨吗
Does Sheldon make you feel stupid?
不会 我在其他方面很聪明
Nah, I'm smart in other ways.
我也是
Me, too.
我刚看到巷子里有台旧电视
Hey, I saw an old TV in the alley.
想一起去朝它丢石头吗
Want to go throw rocks at it?
-好啊 -当然想
- Cool! - Hell yeah!
走吧
Let's do it.
我们可以玩传统国际象棋
We could play traditional chess.
如果你有兴趣 我们也可以玩改过的版本
Or if you're interested, we could play a variant
有我发明的新棋子
with a new piece I invented.
听起来很好玩
That sounds fun.
有什么新棋子
What's the new piece?
巫师
A wizard.
巫师不能被吃掉
The wizard cannot be taken, and, at any point,
而且能随时瞬移 跟任意棋子交换位置
he can teleport and switch places with any other piece.
好 不过这有一个明显的漏洞
Yes, but there's an obvious flaw.
-什么漏洞 -玩家被将军时
- What flaw? - Well, any time anyone is checkmated,
可以直接把巫师和国王交换位置
they can simply have the wizard and their king switch places.
这样游戏永远都不会结束
So the game will never end.
我知道 你通过我的测试了
I knew that. You passed my test.
我们告诉佩吉
We told Paige that if she won
如果她赢了地区拼字竞赛 就送她一只小狗
the regional spelling bee, she could get a puppy.
我们家现在有两只小狗
We ended up with two,
因为她赢了两次
'cause she won twice.
有意思 真有意思
Fun! That-That's fun.
好了
All right,
别再说佩吉了
that's enough about Paige.
乔治 我知道你是橄榄球教练
So, George, I know you're a football coach.
你做什么工作呢 玛丽
What about you, Mary?
我在教会做兼♥职♥
I work part-time at the church.
真不错
Oh. Oh, that's so nice.
我以前在巴里的诊所上班
I used to work at the practice with Barry,
但后来不得不放弃了
but I had to quit
因为佩吉的日程排得很满
once Paige's schedule started to get busy.
可以理解
Well, that's understandable.
独特的孩子需要加倍的关注
A unique child can require a lot of attention.
是全部的关注吧
Try all the attention. Hmm?
哪有你说的那么夸张 巴里
Okay. You know that's not true, Barry. Well...
她说得对 没那么夸张
She's... she's right. It's not.
不过我父亲节确实是独自度过的
Although I did spend Father's Day alone
因为她带佩吉去看机器人展了
'cause she took Paige to a robotics show.
好了 可以了啦 巴里
Okay. That's enough, Barry.
没必要跟他们说这些
They don't need to hear all this.
没事
That's OK.
我们聚会就是为了这个目的
That's why we're getting together,
交流这类事情
you know, talk about this kind of stuff.
巴里 听起来你觉得自己被冷落了
Barry, it sounds like you might be feeling left out.
才没有
Oh. No.
有时确实如此
Sometimes I do.
不只是我 艾丽卡也这么觉得
And it's not just me. It's Erica, too.
他越说越夸张啦
Oh, now he's just being dramatic.
艾丽卡也有得到很多关爱
Erica gets a lot of attention,
她可讨喜了
and she's just a joy.
可恶 屏幕砸不碎
Dang it, the screen won't break.
要是炸一下肯定会碎
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