鸟姐妹（2019）

Do you need help with your virtual sex transaction?
你的虚拟性♥交♥易需要帮忙吗
Hello?
喂
** I finally made it to the Yeast Week. *
*我终于参加了酵母周
** I've got the whole world By the tip of my beak *
*全世界就在我嘴边
** It's like a dream But I've been awakened. *
*这就像一场梦 但我已醒来
** At this venue exclusive for baking. *
*在这个烘焙的专属会场
Bertie, please, only first-timers sing by the fountain.
伯蒂 只有新手才在喷泉旁边唱歌♥
Uh, hello?
你好
Are you alive? What?
你还活着吗 什么
Hi. I'm Big_Hairy_Stallion69.
嗨 我是多毛大种马69
Remember? I was the little spoon.
记得吗 我是那个小勺子
You asked me for help. I did?
你向我求救 我有吗
Then you yelled your address
然后你喊出了你的地址
and a very complicated pizza order.
和一个非常复杂的披萨订单
You actually came here to help me? Yep.
你真的跑来帮我了 是啊
It was only a seven-hour drive.
只开了7个小时
Hour one, I was like,
第一小时 我在想
"This feels right."
"感觉这么做是对的"
Hour two, I wondered,
第二小时 我疑惑
"Is this weird?"
"这么做奇怪吗"
Hour three, I was all,
第三小时 我满脑子都是
"Yep, this is definitely weird."
"对 这绝对奇怪"
Hour four, I thought,
第四小时 我想
"But maybe it's nice for a stranger
"在这个残忍♥ 冷酷的世界里
to display a kind gesture in this cruel, cold world."
向一个陌生人展示友善的姿态也许不错"
Hour five, I stopped for gas and had a snack.
第五小时 我停下来加油 吃小食
And now, here I am,
而现在 我在这儿
seven hours later, still unsure.
七小时过去了 我依然不确定
It's just nice to know someone out there cares about me.
知道外面有某人关心我是很不错的
We should probably go to the hospital, right?
也许我们该去医院
Welcome to Yeast Week's nerve center!
欢迎来到酵母周神经中心
Wow! The world's most famous chefs are here!
世界上最著名的厨师都来了
That's Chef Steele Laurent,
那是斯蒂尔·劳伦厨师
the first pastry chef to put salt on a cookie!
第一位在曲奇上撒盐的面点师
That's Chef Winter Garcia,
那是温特·加西亚厨师
the first chef to stuff a pickle into a biscuit!
第一位把酸黄瓜塞进小点心的厨师
If you look closely,
如果你仔细观察
you can catch some sexual overtones in her work.
你可以在他的作品中发现一些性暗示
And that's Chef Dante Ferrari!
那是但丁·法拉利厨师
He's the first chef
他是第一个
to steal all his recipes from his grandma.
所有的菜谱都剽窃于他奶奶的厨师
And that's his grandma!
那是他的奶奶
Dante, come and give your grandma some kisses.
但丁 过来亲亲你奶奶
Come on, Dante. I want those kisses.
过来 但丁 我想要亲亲
Give it, give it! Kisses!
给我 给我 亲亲
Yes, I know all these people,
没错 我认识他们所有人
but I love a good recap.
但我喜欢你的介绍
Is that what I think it is?
这难道就是我想的那个吗
Oh, Bertie, how I love seeing my world
伯蒂 我真喜欢通过你甜美
through your sweet, innocent eyes!
天真的眼睛看我的世界啊
The grand hall.
大会堂
This place is legendary
这是个传奇的地方
for not allowing flash photography.
不允许闪光灯拍照
Oh! I thought the flash was off!
我以为我关了闪光灯
I thought the flash was off!
我以为我关了闪光灯
Ladies and gentle-birds and plants, humans,
雌鸟雄鸟们 植物 人类
and sometimes inanimate objects that talk...
以及偶尔会说话的非生物
What a weird world!
真是个奇怪的世界
I give you the donut dive!
请欣赏甜甜圈跳水
And ta-da! Here you go!
精彩吧
This is where we shall
我们就要在这里
introduce the baking world to my new crunt.
向烘焙界展示我的新可颂蛋糕
All you have to do, Bertie, is better than that.
你只需要表现得比他更好 伯蒂
Tuca? Hello?
图卡 在吗
Uh, Bertie asked me to check up on you, so--
伯蒂叫我来看你
Hey, that's my mug.
那是我的杯子
And that's my laptop.
这是我的笔记本电脑
Ooh, fun! Looks like some kind of open-world video game.
有意思 像是某种开放世界的电子游戏
Oh, come suck me off, you nasty bird!
来把我口♥射♥ 你个淫♥荡♥小鸟
Must be some kind of villain.
这肯定是坏人
Jerk! This must be how I punch?
撸 我是该按键吧
Jerk! Jerk! Jerk!
撸 撸 撸
Yeah, that's right, computer. He is a jerk!
没错 电脑 他就是个混♥蛋♥
Oh, yeah. Oh, God. Take that and that!
天啊 接招吧
Jerk! Jerk! Jerk!
撸 撸 撸
Yes!
棒
Excuse me, while I wait for my terrified friend,
你好 在我等待我受惊吓的朋友的同时
do you have any Ethernet cables
你有以太网电缆
I could use to start a LAN party?
能借我用用办游戏玩家聚会吗
Just a second, sir.
稍等 先生
Let me see what I can find.
我看看我能找到什么
Hello, I'm Dr. Sherman. I'm here to examine--
你好 我是夏曼医生 我是来检查
Are you gonna cut me up and sew my booty hole
你要把我切开 把我的屁♥眼♥
to someone else's booty hole?
缝到别人屁♥眼♥上吗
Tell me! Tell me, woman!
告诉我 告诉我 女人
Oh, you're nervous.
你很紧张
Hi, I'm Ultra-Sam, the ultrasound machine.
你好 我是超声山姆 超声波机器
I've been programmed to comfort you.
我是用来安慰你的
We tried to teach doctors empathy, but it didn't take.
我们试图教医生同理心 但是没用
Don't worry. Everything's going to be okay.
别担心 一切都会没事
That's what Bertie would have said.
伯蒂也会这么说
She's programmed to comfort me.
她的职责就是安慰我
Or at least she was.
或者至少以前是
Now all she talks about is Irish butter.
现在她只知道说什么爱尔兰黄油
"The cultured cream enhances the flavor notes, Tuca."
酸奶油会增强香调 图卡
Good news! The doctor is almost done looking inside you.
好消息 医生马上就做完检查了
Nothing to worry about.
什么都不用担心
She's just going to confer with some colleagues and check--
她只是要和同事商讨下
Okay, let's cut the shit. I need you to plug in my wife.
不说废话了 我需要你把我老婆接上电源
She's right over there.
她就在那边
She's a lamp? She's so much more!
她是一盏灯 远不止
You're not seeing her in the best... light.
你没见过她在光线下最好的一面
Oh, how she would have laughed at that.
这个梗肯定会逗她笑的
Cherish those you love, Tuca.
珍惜你爱的人 图卡
You never know when they may become disconnected from your life.
你永远不知道他们什么时候就会从你生活里消失
Please, plug her in before--
求你接上她电源...
They're back.
他们回来了
Fuck! Fuck! Be cool! Be cool!
操 操 淡定 淡定
So, if that weird bulge turns out to be cancer,
如果那个肿胀最后证明是癌症的话
hey, sometimes life gives you cancer
有时生活给你癌症
and you make can-sirloin steak--
你可以用来做癌西冷牛排
Okay, we need to get some X-rays.
我们需要拍X光片
Are you gonna be a big girl, or do you need the robot?
你自己能承受还是说你需要机器人
You're all familiar with
你们都知道
my Tasty Num Nums Award-winning invention,
我赢得了鸟嘴美食奖的发明
a delicate marriage between crullers and Bundt cake, the crunt.
煎饼和空心蛋糕之间的结晶 煎饼蛋糕
Today, I bring you something new:
今天 我带来了新的美食
the crünt.
可颂蛋糕
Croissants, Bundt cakes,
羊角面包 空心蛋糕
historically, they've been natural enemies.
历史上 它们一直是天敌
Some have asked, why bring them together?
有人问 为什么将它们结合在一起
I ask, why not?
我问 为什么不呢
Because it's dangerous.
因为这很危险
I have perfected this process,
我完善了制♥作♥过程
and in the interest of science,
为了科学的利益
will be generously sharing my methodology with you all!
我将会和大家分享我的食谱
Here to perform it,
为你们进行演示的将是
my lovely assistant Roberta Songthrush!
我可爱的助手罗伯塔·画眉鸟
Cheers.
干杯
Cheers.
干杯