鸟姐妹（2019）

Okay, bye, sweetie.
拜 亲爱的
I'll let you know right away if I hear any news.
我有任何消息就告诉你
As you can see,
你可以看到
this jaguar and I are two adults with our shit together.
我和这位美洲虎是两个生活美满的成年人
And as such, we would like you to do our money.
因此 我希望你能帮我们进行财富管理
Great. Joint checking account it is.
很好 那就是开设联名支票账户
Hmm... Okay, under "Account owner,"
好的 账户所有人
I see you listed "Jaguar." That's correct.
我看你写了"美洲虎" 是的
And under "Occupation" for said account owner,
至于账户所有人的"职业"
you listed "Jaguar." That's correct.
你写了"美洲虎" 是的
Mm-hmm. And for "Jaguar," You listed "Jaguar."
"美洲虎"的部分 你写了"美洲虎"
Wait, did you cross out "Income" and write in "Jaguar"?
等等 你是不是划掉了"收入"写了"美洲虎"
That's correct.
是的
This all seems to check out. Thank you. Good day.
看起来挺好的 谢谢你 祝一天愉快
A little for you, mm, but more for me.
给你一点 给我更多
And right on time.
准时出炉
Bertie, make room on the counter for these hot trays.
伯蒂 把柜台收拾出来 放这些烤盘
Oh, no, this shit looks exactly like my dream!
这简直就跟梦里情境一模一样
Okay, Bertie. Calm down. This is real life.
伯蒂 冷静 这是现实生活
Nothing sexual is happening.
没有什么跟性有关的事情会发生
This dough is too wet.
这个面团太湿了
Got to keep pounding it until it firms up, and stiffens...
要不停拍打 直到它被揉得非常有韧性
and gets hard.
变得很"硬"
Great! Now it's sexual!
这下好了 跟性有关了
Bad brain! Bad brain!
坏脑子 坏脑子
Why do I always do this?
我怎么总是这样
Because you're horny.
因为你就是春心荡漾
Shut up, hypothalamus, you dirty lobe-humper.
闭嘴下丘脑 你这个总是发♥情♥的坏脑叶
Suck my cerebrum!
吸我的脑子啊
Figure this out, you two.
快想想办法 你们两个
Oh, jeez.
我的天呐
He's got the body of a tenure track professor,
他的身体就像终身教授那么平淡
but the arms of an adjunct.
可他的手臂却像兼♥职♥教授那么火热
What's going on with you? You seem, uh, jittery.
你在想什么呢 看上去心神不宁的
Shit. He's onto us. Act normal.
完蛋 他感觉到了 正常点
'Sup?
好啊
Uh, my boyfriend and I might be buying a house.
我男朋友和我可能要买♥♥套房♥子
But I don't know. It's all happening so fast.
我也不太确定 一切都太突然了
Ah. Can't say I recommend it.
我不是很建议这样做
Buying a house with my ex-wife was a disaster.
和我的前妻一起买♥♥♥房♥♥ 简直是个灾难
Yep, too far from the city, the kitchen was tiny.
离城市太远 厨房♥又很小
And the fire pit? Purely ornamental.
还有火炉 只是个装饰品
Uh, hey, honey.
喂 宝贝
Uh, I know I said we'd have time,
我知道我说过我们还有时间考虑
but another offer has come in for the house.
但是又有另外的人也给出了价钱
We need to move fast and make a counteroffer.
所以我们得抓紧还价
Ah! This is all too much!
怎么这么多事情
I'm completely normal.
我很正常
My dreams aren't weird, and I don't have any fears of commitment.
我的梦不奇怪 我不害怕承诺
I'm fine! Completely fine.
我很好 超级无敌好
I'm doing a normal amount of work at a reasonable speed.
我正在用合理的速度 干正常量的活
You know what would be fun at a reasonable speed?
你知道在合理的速度下什么事情最有趣吗
Don't you dare.
你敢
Focus!
专注
I'm the picture of productivity,
我就是生产力的化身
a role model for future generations, a beacon.
下一代的模范 鸟类的灯塔
Bertie, are you in there?
伯蒂 你在里面吗
Your pain au chocolat is vibrating.
你的巧克力面包在震动
Thanks! Oh, I mean, sorry.
谢谢 我是说 抱歉
You put your phone inside the dough instead of chocolate.
你把手♥机♥放进了面团 却没有放巧克力
Typical rookie mistake.
典型的新手错误
Oh, no!
不
All these voicemails from Speckle and one...
全都是斯派克的语♥音♥邮件 还有一个
from my own phone?
来自我自己的手♥机♥
Hi, Bertie. It's me, your phone.
伯蒂 是我 你的手♥机♥
I'm getting really hot.
我真的好热
I'm sorry, phone.
对不起小手♥机♥
I made a bake mistake.
我犯了一个烘焙错误
No problem.
没事
Cooling off now. Bye!
现在凉下来了 拜拜
Hey, uh, I realize this
我意识到这一切
is all happening much faster than we thought.
比我们预期的发生得更快
So, um, call me back so we can talk about it, okay?
打电♥话♥给我 我们商量一下好吗
Me again.
又是我
Wait. Oh, shit, did I hang up? Ugh!
慢着 糟糕 我挂掉了吗
Hey, uh, sorry.
抱歉
I-- I wasn't sure if I had hung up properly
我不确定有没有挂好电♥话♥
or if the voicemail was still recording.
或是语♥音♥邮箱还在录音
Anyway, Rebecca thinks we should make an offer now,
不过 丽贝卡觉得我们应该现在就出价
but I can't do that without you, so get back to me.
但没有你 我无法做决定 快回我吧
We're still in the running for this thing.
我们还有机会买♥♥下这套房♥子
Hey, what was the name of that movie we watched
我们看的那部电影叫什么来着
where the young bird was abducted?
就是有一只幼鸟被拐走的那部
It's driving me crazy that I can't remember it.
我快疯了 怎么都想不起来
It was called Young Bird Abducted.
电影叫《被诱拐的幼鸟》
Okay. Call me back.
好了 记得打给我
Hey, Bertie. We lost the house.
伯蒂 我们失去了那套房♥子
Hey, uh, please call me.
请打给我电♥话♥
It's so weird that you're not answering your phone.
好奇怪 你一直不接电♥话♥
Um, I'm worried about you.
我很担心你
Tuca? I need to talk to you.
图卡 我想跟你聊聊
So, this is my new pet, Jaggy.
这是我的新宠物 小豹宝
Took me hours to come up with that name.
我花了好久才想出这名字
Tuca, you got a jaguar? Are you crazy?
图卡你搞来了一只美洲豹 你疯了吗
That's a huge and dangerous commitment!
养美洲豹这个承诺 既重大又危险
You and Speckle are making a big commitment.
你和斯派克就做了个超大的承诺
Buying a jaguar is just the Tuca version of buying a house.
买♥♥美洲豹就是图卡版的买♥♥♥房♥♥子
Actually, we aren't buying anything.
实际上我们什么也没买♥♥
So, you aren't leaving? Nope.
所以你们俩暂时不离开了 不走了
I don't know why I thought
我不知道为什么 我会认为
we'd be ready to own a house together.
我们已经准备好要一起拥有一套房♥子了
I'm officially the worst at being in a relationship.
我真是太不会恋爱了
What makes you say that?
为什么这么说
I maybe have a weird crush on Pastry Pete.
我好像对酥饼皮特 有奇怪的迷恋
I'm a terrible bird!
我真是只坏透的鸟
Oh, girl, you nasty.
你真淫♥荡♥
Ugh! I had a sex dream with lots of really beautiful pastries.
我做了一个和好多漂亮糕点有关的春梦
And sometimes, I think about him.
而且有时候 我会想到他
But as long as you don't act on them, weird crushes are cool.
可只要不付诸实践 奇怪的迷恋没什么
Your brain is a free zone.
你的大脑是自♥由♥地带
Aw, yeah! Imaginary fucking.
棒 想象的做♥爱♥
Oh, man, really?
真的吗
I feel so guilty about this.
我好有负罪感
I got, like, a billion weird crushes going on at a time.
我同时暗恋十亿个人
In my head, I'm married to three random strangers,
在我脑子里 我嫁给了三个陌生人
I'm having an affair with six others,
和六个人搞外遇
and I'm terrified
我害怕
that the whole thing is gonna come crashing down on me.
到时东窗事发
But it doesn't matter 'cause it's all in my head.
但是无所谓 因为都只存在于我脑子里
No big deal. Nothing's ruined.
没什么 什么都没破坏
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
棒 棒 棒
Aw, shit!
该死
This jaguar is ruining my shit!
这美洲狮在破坏我的东西
Damn it, jaguar!
靠 美洲狮
She's just mad 'cause I spent all of the money
她生气因为我把我们
in our joint checking account.
联合交易账户上的钱花光了
But I needed all those novelty socks.
但我需要那些新奇的袜子
Delivery! Come on up.
外卖♥♥ 上来吧
You ordered food during all this?
你还有空叫外卖♥♥
Hello. I have 16 orders of meat dumplings and--
你好 我这有16份肉饺子