生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory S02E12
Part 1
Sept. 12, 2019, 7:53 a.m.
霍尔德被潘妮打击
好了 最后一个部件
All right,that's the last servo.
人家看到的 是全方位运动 销毁终结切割器
Behold the Mobile Omnidirectional Neutralization and Termination Eradicator.
或者 Mont-E
Or...MONTE.
装有铰接式锋利锯齿 聚碳酸脂磨刀和转动轮
Featuring one articulated razor-sharp killing saw,one polycarbonate grinding and flipping wheel,
从上到下为钢制金属板外壳 其马力足以将110磅的机械
steel-armor plate exoskeleton top and bottom,and enough horsepower to drive a 110 pounds of mechanized death
彻底毁灭 只需短短4.8秒
from zero to holy crap in 4.8 seconds.
如果说我爱我们的机器人杀手 是不是大罪过?
Is it wrong to say I love our killer robot?
跟对我爸爸一样 我既爱它又怕它
As with my father,I both love and fear it.
好了 废话少说 我们来搞点破坏
All right,enough chitchat. Let's destroy something.
1 2 3
1,2,3
好了 让谁先来尝尝猛械的厉害
Okay. What shall be first to taste the wrath of Monte?
也许我们该从小的东西开始
好吧 也许今天我们最终可以搞清楚 这个魔法球里有什么了
我四岁时就做过了
Did it when I was four.
是个二十面体染色物在蓝水里漂浮
It's an icosahedral dye floating in tinted blue water.
老兄 说之前给个"剧透"警告好吧
Man,call "spoiler alert" before you say things like that.
烤面包机怎么样?
How about the toaster oven?
烤面包机咋得罪你了?
What did the toaster oven ever do to you?
三年级时 我又咋得罪吉姆·马林斯了?
What did I ever do to Jimmy Mullins in the third grade?
他照样用我的拳头朝我的脸打了一拳
He still punched me in the face with my own fists.
抱歉 可爱的小呆子 你在错误的时间出现错误的房间
Sorry,you little nerd,you were just in the wrong boys' room at the wrong time.
同志们 护眼镜
Gentlemen,goggles.
这可是个历史性的时刻
This is an auspicious moment.
制造第一枚核武器和第一次登月
就像罗伯特·奥本海默和尼尔·阿姆斯壮
Like Robert Oppenheimer or Neil Armstrong,
我们得编句合适的台词 来纪念这个有历史意义的科学事件
we need the appropriate words to mark this historic scientific event.
"死吧 烤面包机 去死吧!"怎么样?
How about "Die,toaster,die"?
我看行
That'll do it.
好啦 接下来砍什么?
All right,what's next?
不了 我今晚要呆在家里洗衣服
No,I think I'm just going to stay in tonight and do laundry.
噢 耶 这门被猛械毁了
Oh,yeah,this door got the full Monte.
莱纳德?
Leonard?
怎么回事?
What the hell?
机器人杀手 我们造的
Killer robot. We built it.
是吗 它差点杀了我
Yeah,well,it almost killed me.
它要是想杀你 你早死了
If it wanted to kill you,you'd be dead.
那么 它到底想杀谁?
So,who exactly does it want to kill?
抱歉 难道你不知道即将举行的 南加州机器人格斗循环邀请赛?
I'm sorry,are you unaware of the upcoming Southern California Robot Fighting League Round Robin Invitational?
知道吗 从我去年搬来以后 不是所有的邮件都被转寄掉
You know,since I moved last year,not all my mail has been forwarded.
这可是件大事
It's a big deal.
会有颁奖宴会还有舞会
There's an awards banquet and a dance afterward.
也许你会想跟我一起去
Perhaps you'd like to come with me.
我相信其他人看见女生 肯定会很兴奋
I know the other fellas would be really excited to see a girl there.
如果就我一个女生去 怎么能叫舞会呢?
How is it supposed to be a dance if I'm the only girl?
好吧 也许这么说有点夸张
Well,that may be a slight exaggeration.
你是唯一可以上的女孩
You'd be the only doable girl.
你是头猪 霍华德
You're a pig,Howard.
"可以上"是在赞美你 没别的意思
How is "doable" anything but a compliment?
霍华德 我们还是搞机器人吧
Howard,why don't we just work on the robot?
拜托 莱纳德 现在不是时候
Please,Leonard,not now.
又一次 佩妮和我开始了 我们的双人探戈
Once again,Penny and I have begun our little tango.
我们的探戈?
Our tango?
肉体的博弈 性♥欲的推拉
The carnal repartee,the erotic to and fro.
尽管开胃菜很美味
But as delicious as the appetizer might be,
我们还是该屈从 吃下主菜 趁它还是...
at some point we will have to succumb and eat the entr\e while it's still...
热的
hot.
求你了 不要再说了
I'm begging you,stop talking.
听着 通常呢 我无视你就好了
Look,normally I can just ignore you.
我知道 你有点古怪
I mean,I get it-- you're a little peculiar.
就像谢尔顿
You know,like Sheldon.
抱歉 佩妮 但是在这间屋里 你才是古怪的那个
Excuse me,Penny,but in this room,you're the one who's peculiar.
嗯 也许你说的对
Yeah,you might be right.
但是回到你身上
But back to you.
我知道你认为自己是个 能言善辩的少女杀手
I know you think you're some sort of smooth-talking ladies' man,
但事实是 你很可悲又恶心
but the truth is,you are just pathetic and creepy.
那么 啥意思呢?
So what are you saying?
我的意思是说我是"可以上的" 根本就不是啥赞美
I am saying it is not a compliment to call me "doable."
盯着我的屁♥股看并说 "喔~ 这肯定是果冻"
It's not sexy to stare at my ass and say,Ooh,
"因为果酱不会这样晃动" 一点也不性感
it must be jelly 'cause jam don't shake like that.
还有最重要的 我们没有在跳探戈 我们没有你推我拉
And most important,we are not dancing a tango,we're not to'ing and fro'ing.
我们之间不会有什么 永远不会
Nothing is ever going to happen between us. Ever.
等一下 这不是在调情 你在说真的?
Wait a minute. This isn't flirting. You're serious.
调情? 你认为我在跟你调情?
Flirting? You think I'm flirting with you?
我根本没有在和你调情
I am not flirting with you.
没有女人会和你调情
No woman is ever gonna flirt with you.
你只会慢慢变老 孤独而终
You're just gonna grow old and die alone.
谢谢你的提醒
Thanks for the heads up.
霍华德 你去哪里?
Howard,where you going?
我回家继续过我的 恶心的可悲的人生
I'm going home to live my creepy,pathetic life.
总得有人说吧
Well,someone had to say it.
什么?
What?
他说也许我们该拿你参加机器人杀手大赛
He said maybe we should enter you in the killer robot competition.
霍华德 电话在响!
Howard,the phone is ringing!
我有个疯狂的主意 老妈 接电话如何!
Here's a crazy idea,Ma: Answer it!
你好?
Hello?
好的 稍等
All right,hold on.
是你朋友 莱纳德!
It's your friend,Leonard!
他想知道你为什么今天没去上学!
He wants to know why you're not at school today!
我不是去上学 老妈 我在大学就职
I don't go to school,Ma. I work at a university.
那就是学校! 快接电话!
That's a school! Now pick up the phone!
我谁都不想理
I don't want to talk to anybody.
要我叫莱纳德把你的家庭作业带来吗?
Should I ask Leonard to bring over your homework? !
我没什么家庭作业的
I don't have homework.
我是个拥有工程学硕士的大爷们
I'm a grown man with a master's degree in engineering!
抱歉 了不起先生
Excuse me,Mr. Fancy-Pants.
想吃冰棒吗?
Want me to get you a Popsicle?
樱桃味的 好吧!
Cherry,please!
樱桃味的我吃了 只剩蔬菜味的了
I ate the cherry. All that's left is green.
你让我真想自杀呀
You make me want to kill myself.
怎么了?
What's going on?
不知道 他们正为冰棒问题吵呢
I don't know,now they're just yelling about Popsicles.
好像佩妮真地伤到他了
Sounds like Penny really got to him.
我觉得不意外呀
I'm not surprised.
尽管霍华德用坚强的外壳来保护自己 其实他是个非常敏感的人
Despite his hard and crusty shell,Howard is a very sensitive man.
知道他还写诗吗?
Do you know he writes poetry?
大多是关于来自楠塔基特岛的人 和叫戴维的隐居士
Mostly about men from Nantucket and hermits named Dave,
但他是用心去写的
but he does it with real sensitivity.
嘿 霍夫施塔特
Hey,Hofstadter.
等离止誓验室 谣传你们在造机器银
Word around the pwasma wab is you built a wobot?
对 我们造了 克里帕奇
Yes,we did,Kripke.
他名叫猛械
His name is Monte.
如果你着梦操控他来 南加州机器银格斗循环邀请晒
Well,if you have any dewusions about entering him against my wobot,
对抗我克里帕奇 克里骇人的机器银
the Kwipke Kwippler in the Southern California Robot Fighting League Wound Wobin Invitational,
又简称S.c.r.f.l.r.r.i
aka the S.C.R.F.L.R.R.I.,
他就该改名叫金属废物银了
his name is gonna be Swrap Metal.
得了吧 真的非要这样吗?
Come on,is that really necessary?
莱纳德 看来需要的
Leonard,I believe it is.
这是上场前嘴上较劲 是所有竞技的传统部分
This is trash talk,and trash talk is a traditional component in all sporting events.
克里帕奇 你的机器人很差劲 会败在我们的脚下
Kripke,your robot is inferior and it will be defeated by ours
因为我们在设计与做工上都超越你
because ours exceeds yours in both design and execution.
还有 我听说你老妈是肥婆
Also,I'm given to understand that your mother is overweight.
哇 够狠呀
Oh,snap.
当然 如果是腺分泌的关系 而没有懒散和贪食
Now,of course,if that is the result of a glandular condition and not sloth and gluttony,
我收回我的批判
I withdraw that comment.
哪有什么区别?胖还是胖呀
What difference does it make? Fat is fat.
有分界线的
There are boundaries.
听好了 忘了S.c.r.f.l.r.r.i.
Tell you what,forget the S.C.R.F.L.R.R.I.
偶棉来个机器银一对一吧
Wet's settle this woboto a woboto.
什么意思?
What do you mean?
循环晒上我们不一定碰得上
There's no guarantee we're gonna go against each other in the Wound Wobin,
咱现在就对决吧
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