生活大爆炸

The Big Bang Theory S02E10

Part 1 Sept. 12, 2019, 4:46 a.m.

莱尔德和医生的同居

我什么都没看到谢尔顿
I don't see anything at all, Sheldon.
你是医生我听你的但确实老有烦人的声音在我耳边响
Well, you're the doctor, but I am constantly hearing this annoying sound.
没错
Me, too.
是一种高频的口哨声吗
Is it a high-frequency whistle?
不是一种时刻不停的
No, it's more of a relentless,
自以为是的唠叨
narcissistic drone.
没有任何炎症谢尔顿
Yup, there's no inflammation at all, Sheldon.
那我肯定得肿瘤了
Then it must be a tumor.
我深表怀疑
I Seriously doubt it.
也许是以前小时候常把头塞进马桶冲水
Maybe it's a lingering bacterial infection
造成的永久性细菌感染
from all those childhood toilet swirlies.
真的会这样吗我以前经常这么干的
Is that possible? I used to get those all the time.
甚至在教堂里
Even in church.
如果是因为这个的话我倒有个办法
Well if it is from a swirly, there something I can do.
圈圈点点
Okay, circle, circle, dot, dot,
虱子不再烦扰你[美国儿歌]
now you have a cootie shot!
我去睡觉了
I'm going to bed
好的我马上就来
Okay, I'll be right in.
她不光是在嘲笑我而且
It's not enough that she mocks me, but that isn't even
把打预防针的流程也搞错了
the correct procedure for a cootie shot.
你知道斯蒂芬妮到这里来不是为了
Do you understand that Stephanie's not here
帮你治疗你那些臆想的毛病吧?
to treat your imaginary ailments?
怎么可能是臆想我老是听见一种高于中央C的八度音
How is it imaginary that I keep hearing an octave above Middle C?
这是臆想吗
Is that imaginary?
我看不是
I don't think so.
晚安
Good night.
莱纳德还有件事
Leonard,there's one more thing.
根据我们的合租协议第一章第三段
Under Article One, Section Three of our Roommate Agreement,
我要召开一个紧急会议
I'm calling an emergency meeting.
你不是吧
No, you're not.
莱纳德提议不要开会
Leonard moves the meeting not occur.
有人同意么没有提议不予采纳
Is there a second? None heard, the motion fails.
在会议的开头我想祝贺你
I'd like to begin the meeting by congratulating you
和斯蒂芬妮医生恋情有了进展
on the progress in your relationship with Dr. Stephanie.
谢谢
Thank you.
那也就是说我们必须讨论
That being said, we have to discuss
对于"同居"附加条例的执行问题
the implementation of the agreed upon "cohabitation" rider
因为你们两人现在
whichas been activated now that
已经住在一起了
the two of you are living together.
我们没有啊
We're not living together.
我有不同意见
I beg to disagree
某女性被认定为
"A girlfriend shall be deemed
跟莱纳德前引号同居后引号
quote living with un-quote Leonard
的时间条件是第一连续十晚
when she has stayed over for A: ten consecutive nights,
或第二三周之内超过九晚
or B: more than nine nights in three week period,
或第三一个月之内的所有周末
or C: all the weekends of a given month
再加上三个非周末
plus three weeknights.
这太荒唐了
That's absurd.
你自己都签名了看莱莱莱
You initialed it. See? L.H., L.H., L.H.
我签名的原因是因为我觉得这些条例永远都用不上的
Wait, I only initialed it because I never thought it would happen!
我还签了一条
I initialed another clause
上面说如果我有超能力的话就让你做我搭档
naming you my sidekick in case I get superpowers.
是啊没错
Hmm, yes, you did.
我们再来温故一下需要执行哪些条例
Now, to review the following provisions are hereby activated:
在冰箱里我们不能再使用两个单人层和一个公用层了
In the refrigerator, as opposed to us having two separate shelves and one communal shelf,
现在我们三个人每人使用一层然后冰箱门变作公用
the three of us now get individual shelves and the door becomes communal.
下一条房间清扫工作应从每周两次增加为每周三次
Next, apartment vacuuming shall be increased from two to three times a week
以解决日益增加的死皮细胞
to accommodate the increased accumulation of dead skin cells.
第三厕所使用时间表我了解到
Third,the bathroom schedule. Now, I'm given to understand
女人对厕所的用法有所不同所以我们应该讨论一下
women have different needs, so, we'll have to discuss that.
我去睡觉了
I'm going to bed.
你至少也得把这带走吧
At least take this with you.
别忘了让斯蒂芬妮签名这里这里这里
Look, and have Stephanie initial here, here, here, here...
还有这里
and... here.
这一条规定从现在起她不能
This states that she does not now
也不准计划演奏打击乐器或者铜管乐器
nor does she intend to play a percussive or brass instrument.
肯定是肿瘤压迫听觉神经了
Sure sounds like a tumor pressing on the auditory nerve.
绝对不行
No, absolutely not.
这又没什么
It's not a big deal.
我们有卫生手套的
We have latex gloves.
我不管你出现了什么症状
I don't care what the symptoms are,
我女朋友是不会帮你做前列腺检查的
my girlfriend is not going to give you a prostate exam.
谢尔顿
Hi, Sheldon.
早上好斯蒂芬妮医生
Good morning, Dr. Stephanie.
我想莱纳德昨晚肯定让你性福了吧
I trust Leonard satisfied you sexually last night.
谢尔顿这种问题不能随便问的
Sheldon, we don't ask questions like that.
那我怎么总听到你在问啊
I heard you ask it over and over.
我只问一次怎么就错了
How is it inappropriate for me to ask it once?
他非常棒
He did very nicely.
看见没她不生气
See? She's not offended.
而且你也得到结果了
And now you finally have an answer.
没咖啡了需要咖啡
Out of coffee. Need coffee.
你好
Oh, hello.
斯蒂芬妮是吗
Hi! Stephanie, right?
是你...你是
Uh-huh. And-And- And you are?
佩妮我就住对门
Penny, I live across the hall.
我听说了你很多事情
I've heard a lot about you.
是吗
Really? Mm-hmm.
怎么没人跟我提起你啊
I haven't heard a thing about you.
莱纳德
Leonard?
为什么你从来都没跟我说起过
Why haven't I heard a thing
这个住在你对门的
about this woman who lives across the hall
喜欢早上跑这儿来的女人还穿着内衣
and comes into your apartment in the morning...in her underwear?
她听说过你是因为
She's heard about you because we're, you know,
你是我女朋友而你没听说过她则是因为
involved and you haven't heard about her because...
我从没跟她上过床我发誓
I never slept with her, I swear!
不过话说回来这倒并不是因为莱纳德不想
In Leonard's defense, it wasn't for lack of trying.
谢谢你谢尔顿
Thank you, Sheldon.
别客气莱纳德
You're welcome, Leonard.
我的意思是
Look, I'm just saying, um...
佩妮是我们众多邻居中的一位
Penny is one of our many neighbors, you know,
在我们这幢楼里邻居们进进出出很随便的不讲究穿着
and in our building, neighbors come and go, it's very casual, no dress code.
实际上有好几天早上我都是穿着睡衣
In fact, some mornings I'll just mosey down to the third floor
荡到三楼瓦塔比蒂安太太家里跟她一起吃麦片的
in my pajamas and have cereal with Mrs. Vartabedian.
真的吗
Really?
我怎么从来都没被瓦塔比蒂安太太
I have never once been invited
邀请去共进麦片的
to have cereal with Mrs. Vartabedian.
她看你不爽
She doesn't like you.
你不是要去切除什么胆囊么
You have a gall bladder to remove and I have
我要去洗澡了而佩妮要穿衣服了
to get in the shower and Penny has clothes to put on, so...
很高兴能见到你
Well, it was very nice meeting you.
我也很高兴终于见到你了
Nice to finally meet you, too.
我们今天晚上见?
And I'll see you tonight?
好的再见
Okay, bye-bye.
我到底做了什么事情招惹到了瓦塔比蒂安太太
What could I possibly have done to offend Mrs. Vartabedian?
那就是斯蒂芬妮啊
So, that's Stephanie, huh?
为什么我感觉我被做了前列腺检查
Why do I feel like I'm the one that just got the prostate exam?
她人挺好的
You know, she seems very nice.
没错她太棒了
Oh, she is. She's terrific.
真的是一位好室友
And she's proving to be a valuable roommate.
室友? 你们住一起了?
Roommate? You guys are living together?
想嬉皮士一样
Like hippies.
我们没同居
We're not living together.
你还想看看那些条款吗
Do I have to pull out the paperwork again?
我们没同居
We're not living together.
你确定吗
Are you sure?
我怎么可能不确定
How could I not be sure?
我们试试就知道了
Well, let's find out.
你觉得如果一个女人和我同居的话
Don't you think if a woman was living with me