生活大爆炸

The Big Bang Theory S02E09

Part 2 Sept. 12, 2019, 4:39 a.m.

我花了将近20分钟才从你电脑的网页
It took me nearly 20 minutes to go through the browser
浏览记录里查到你搜索过的电影时刻表
History on your computer to see what movie times you looked up.
在这等我我给咱们找个座
Wait here, I'll find us seats.
不用我们有位子
Uh, no, we have seats.
不是正确的位子
Not the right seats.
他干嘛呢
What is he doing?
他在找听觉最优点
He's finding the acoustic sweet spot.
他一直都这样吗
Does he always do this?
有时他也会带给玩具木琴
Sometimes he brings a toy xylophone.
真是太抱歉了
I am really sorry about this.
不会还好啦他挺可爱的
No, it's fine. you know, he's sweet.
不好意思你们一直都坐对了地方
My apologies, you've been sitting in it all along.
莱纳德你们能往里错一个位子吗
Leonard, you want to slide over one?
不能您就坐这吧
No, just sit here.
好极了就是这感觉
Oh, yeah, this is it.
莱纳德
Leonard.
莱纳德莱纳德
Leonard? leonard?!
咋啦谢尔顿
What, sheldon?
咋啦谢尔顿咋啦谢尔顿
What, sheldon?! what, sheldon?!
告诉我你在这看到什么
Tell me what you see here.
这个钝器能用来杀人吗
The blunt instrument that will be the focus of my murder trial?
这是斯蒂芬妮的facebook网页
This is stephanie's facebook page.
你看本来应该是"交往中"的她写的是什么
Now, where it should say "in a relationship," what does it say?
"斯蒂芬妮巴奈特单身"
"stephanie barnett is single."
而且早些时候
Yeah, furthermore, earlier this evening,
她送了一只电子羊给一个叫麦克的人
She threw a digital sheep at some guy named mike.
谁是麦克
Who's mike?!
为什么他得到一只电子羊而不是你
Why does he get a digital sheep and not you?
这只不过是她的facebook网页罢了
It's just her facebook page and we've
而且我们只约会过几周
Only been going out a couple of weeks.
你还不明白么
You don't see it, do you?
我们就要失去她了
We're losing her.
好吧我简而言之
Okay, I'm going to make this very simple for you.
你并不在这场恋爱里面
You are not in this relationship.
我在
I am.
也就是说你对于我和斯蒂芬妮之间
Ergo, you have no say in anything
发生的事没有发言权
that happens between me and stephanie.
恕难从命
I'm afraid I can't allow that.
根据星际战舰总纲领104第一部分
Pursuant to starfleet general order 104 section a,
你不是合适的人选我替你指挥
You are deemed unfit and I hereby relieve you of your command.
总纲领104 第一部分不适用于此情况
General order 104, section a does not apply in this situation.
给我个好的理由为什么不适用
Give me one good reason why not.
因为这不是《星际迷航》
Because this is not startrek
佩妮
Penny?
佩妮佩妮
Penny? penny?!
咋啦
What?
这是香蕉面包
This is banana bread.
这是门把手
This is a door knob.
根据我的理解主动赠送食物
It's my understanding that an unsolicited gift of food can
可以作为被邀请进屋聊天的敲门砖
Be a precursor to an impromptu invitation to come in and chat.
谢尔顿想进来么
Sheldon, would you like to come in?
那就聊一会吧
I suppose I could spare a few minutes.
你被抢劫啦
Were you robbed?
没
No.
你怎么会这么肯定
How can you be sure?
谢尔顿你想干嘛
Sheldon, what do you want?
我知道你并不会惊讶
I'm certain this will come as no surprise to you,
不过莱纳德又要失恋了
But leonard is failing in yet another relationship.
他和斯蒂芬妮出问题了吗
He's having problems with stephanie?
她在网上赠送给随机男性虚拟牲口
She's sending virtual livestock to random men on the internet.
我需要数据才能保证他们在一起
If I have any hope of keeping them together, I need data.
特别是
Specifically,
我要确切地知道莱纳德做了什么
I need to know exactly what leonard did that
让你"性"趣昂然
Caused you to pop an emotional cap in his buttocks.
什么
What?
还是都市俚语
Again, urban slang.
我看我用得越来越溜了
In which, I believe I'm gaining remarkable fluency.
"往下来"和"找低处"[俚语中有口♥交之意]如何
So, what is the "down" and the "low"?
别担心这完全是保密的
And don't worry, this is all entirely confidential, so,
你可以自由谈论其性事的缺陷
You feel free to include any and all shortcomings in the bedroom.
我们从未上过床
We never got to the bedroom.
原因是
Because?
好了知道吗
Oh, okay, all right, you know what?
我告诉你怎么回事
I'll tell you what happened.
我们当时年少十分相爱
We were young, we were very much in love,
但我们只能通过
But we could only communicate through a
我湖边屋的时光穿梭邮箱交流[《看不见的恋人》中情节]
Time-traveling mailbox at my lake house.
你让我看那电影还不够
It's not enough that you made me watch that movie,
你还用它嘲笑我
But now you mock me with it?
绅士们我有个关于约会和恋爱的问题
Gentlemen, I have a question about dating and relationships.
你说你已经和他谈过那个了[暗指性]
You told me you were going to have the talk with him.
我还等着有人和我谈那个呢
I've been waiting for someone to have the talk with me.
更重要的是
More to the point,
想办法让莱纳德和斯蒂芬妮继续交往下去
It's about finding a way to keep leonard and stephanie together.
我认为你做不到
Oh, I don't think you can.
为什么不行
Well, why not?
看看莱纳德的记录
Look at leonard's record.
与乔伊斯·金交往二十七天
27 days with joyce kim.
然后她逃跑回了朝鲜
During which she defected to north korea.
与莱斯利·温克尔嘿咻两次
Two booty calls with leslie winkle.
因此得了个昵称"光速莱纳德"
For which she awarded him the nickname "speed of light leonard."
三次与佩妮共进晚餐
And the three hour dinner with penny.
如他们没坐下来点蛋奶酥的话
Which would have been two and a half if
就只能算是两次半
They ordered the souffle when they sat down.
根据几何级数
Based on the geometric progression,
他和斯蒂芬妮
His relationship with stephanie
在20分钟后就该完蛋了
should have ended after 20 minutes.
我懂如何计算
Yes, I'm aware of the math.
Y等于27天除以12的商
Y equals 27 days over 12 to the nth.
问题仍未解决
The issue remains.
我们如何能避免他不可避免的失败
How do we circumvent his inevitable rejection?
如你想确保他在斯蒂芬妮的考虑之列
Well, if you want to guarantee his appeal to stephanie,
最有把握的是宰了这星球上所有别的男性
Your best bet would be to kill all the other men on the planet.
我告诉你什么不该做
I'll tell you what you shouldn't do.
别怂恿他用那广告上说的
Don't shpritz him with that body spray from the
女人闻到就会宽衣解带的香体喷雾
Commercial where the women undress when they smell it.
一点都没用
That doesn't work at all.
不管你洒了多少
No matter how much you put on.
这就是你们的本事
So, that's all you've got?
天启式的种族灭绝和"别轻信古龙水"
Apocalyptic genocide and "go easy on the cologne"?
-对啊 -是的
Yeah. yes.
佩妮
Penny.
佩妮
Penny?
什么事
What?
佩妮
Penny?
西葫芦面包
Zucchini bread.
谢谢
Oh, thank you.
我能进去吗
May I come in?
不行
No.
我懂了
I see.
显然
Apparently,
我之前关于
My earlier inquiry regarding
你和莱纳德的问题越界了
you and leonard crossed some sort of line.
我道歉
I apologize.
谢谢你
Well, thank you.
那我们又可以平等交谈了
So, have you and I returned to a social equilibrium?
-是的 -很好
Yes. great.
新的话题
New topic.
你现在在你月经周期里的哪一天
Where are you in your menstrual cycle?
什么
What?!