圣丹尼斯医院（2024）

- I don't know. - Has she ever farted?
- 哦，我敢肯定她放过屁。- 是吧？
- Oh, I am sure she's farted. - Right?
- 她肯定得放啊。- 没错
- She'd have had to. - Yeah.
- 对，她有病。- 帕姆太讨厌了
- Yeah, she's sick. - Pam is awful.
懂了吗？大家都讨厌她。就是因为她太差劲了
OK? Everyone hates her. It's because she sucks.
没错！
Yes!
嘿，帕姆，2号♥房♥间有人在找你
Hey, Pam, they're asking for you in 2.
嘿，我给你带了水
Hey, I got you water.
这是刚接的自来水，你最爱的
It's from the sink like you like.
我不配
I don't deserve it.
- 别自责了。 - 我们尽力了
- Stop beating yourself up. - We tried.
解决所有人的问题不是我们的责任，好吗？
It's not our job to solve everyone's problems, OK?
我们差一点就成功了
We were so close.
如果这能让你好受些
If it makes you feel any better,
其实我们差得远呢
we really weren't.
- 杰夫？ - 你还没走？
- Jeff? - You're still here?
嗯，兄弟
Yeah, bro.
我怎么可能丢下你一个人
I'm not just gonna leave you here.
- 啊！我抓到他了！- 哎呀！哎呀！
- Oh! I got him! - Oh! Oh!
- 我抓到他了！- 哦糟，我没抓到
- I got him! - Oh, no, I don't.
没，没抓到。实在抱歉
No, I don't. I'm so sorry.
唉！
Ugh!
唔！
Mm!
对，唱起来吧，史蒂夫。噢
Yeah, sing it, Stevie. Oh.
我实在看不下去了，这女人跳舞
I cannot watch this woman dance anymore.
你就不能说说你会难过吗？
Can you please just say you'll be sad?
- 不行。- 办不到
- Nope. - Can't do it.
拜托嘛
Come on.
你心里清楚，等他去世时你肯定会有些难过
You know you're gonna be a little sad when he dies.
听着，如果有人表现得特别伤心
Listen, when somebody acts all sad
就因为某个名人去世
because of a celebrity's death,
那纯粹是在博取关注
that is just a bid for attention.
其实这更多是他们怕死的表现
It's really more about their fear of their own mortality,
眼看着喜欢的东西一个个消失
watching the things they love fade away,
就意味着下一个该他们挨刀了
that means they're next on the chopping block.
而我不把自己怕死
And I don't hide my fear of death
藏在社交表演里，明白吗？
in social performance, OK?
- 我去。 - 我被你说服了
- Damn. - You convinced me.
他死不死我压根不在乎
I don't care if he dies either.
得了吧！
Come on!
谜底揭晓了
Mystery solved.
我终于知道你的敏感点在哪儿了
I finally figured out what's triggering you.
原来你是同性恋！
You're gay!
表情包里居然没有同性恋对应的表情
They didn't have a face for gay,
我觉得这真是太离谱了
which is pretty messed up, I thought.
对啊，我知道自己是同性恋
Yeah, I know I'm gay.
我10岁那年就明白了
I've known since I was 10.
哦
Oh.
不，马特，问题的关键在于杰夫
No, Matt, the trigger is Jeff.
- 他对杰夫有意思。 - 明白了
- He has feelings for him. - OK.
嗯，我还是觉得应该推出同性恋表情包
Um, well, I still feel like they should have a gay emoji.
- 我是同盟的。 - 我就怕是这个原因
- Ally. - I was hoping it wasn't that.
我们既是室友也是朋友
We're roommates and friends,
我不想把关系搞尴尬
and I don't wanna make it weird.
好吧...我现在也不知道该怎么帮你了
Right, um, well, I don't know how to help you now.
嗯...
Um...
听着，你离开这儿之后要做什么
Listen, what do you do when you leave here
跟我们没关系
isn't our business.
但你总得试试看啊
But you got to at least try.
跟他聊聊你的真实想法
Tell him how you feel.
要是一直憋着不说，情况反而会变得尴尬
If you hold it in, things always get weird.
- 没错。- 她说得有道理
- Yeah. - She's right.
这让我想起我爷爷以前常说的一句话
It's actually like my grandpa always used to say.
唯一的出路就是勇往直前
The only way out is through.
虽然他当时指的是八年牢狱之灾
And he was talking about an eight-year prison sentence,
但我觉得这个道理在人生中也同样适用
but I think it also applies to life.
说得对
Yeah.
也许我真该找他好好聊聊
Maybe I'll talk to him.
谢谢
Thanks.
你爷爷是做什么的？
What did your grandpa do?
我不打算告诉你，因为我觉得很丢人
I'm not gonna tell you that because I am ashamed.
天啊，这真是太尴尬了
Oh, my God, this is so bad.
说不定她没听见我们说话呢
It's possible maybe she didn't hear us.
- 等等，你先别急。- 真的假的？
- You know, wait. - Really?
- 待在这儿别动。- 你听我说
- Stay here. - Listen.
那个...你从这么远的地方能...能听见我说话吗？
Like, can you... can you hear me from all the way back here?
- 我觉得你声音更大了！- 啊？
- I think you're even louder! - What?
- 她会宰了我的。- 你？
- She's gonna kill me. - You?
这下我要有三个外号♥了！
Now I'm gonna have three nicknames!
我得去打个电♥话♥
I gotta make a call.
我能知道是怎么回事吗？
Do I want to know?
呃，是的
Um, yeah,
我们...我们可能说了些不太中听的话
we... we might have said some less than flattering things
关于帕姆的坏话，然后发现
about Pam and then realized that
她就站在我们旁边
she was standing right there.
什么？
What?
好吧，那有什么关系？
OK, well, then who cares?
互相吐槽差不多就是我们95%的工作内容
Talking smack about each other is like 95% of what we do here.
你老板要是听见你在背后说她坏话，你也不在乎？
You wouldn't care if your boss heard
you complaining about her?
- 你说我老板？ - 哦
- Your boss? - Oh.
她已经不是老板了，亚历克斯
She's not the boss anymore, Alex.
- 你才是。 - 没错
- You are. - Right.
她现在就是个普通女人罢了
She's just some lady.
- 我知道啊。 - 我只是...
- I know that. - I just...
但我还是想给她留下好印象，行吗？
I still want to impress her. OK?
我...我能成为好护士都是因为她
I... I'm a good nurse because of her.
当年我和前妻结婚时，我们养了只小狗
When my ex and I got married, we got this puppy.
到处乱撒尿，见什么都啃
Pissed everywhere. Chewed on everything.
于是我就买♥♥了个电击项圈
So I got this shock collar,
让她给狗戴上
and I told her to use it on the dog.
一年后，这狗变得特别听话
So, like, a year later, this dog is fantastic.
我说，哥们儿，那电击项圈真管用
And I said, man, that shock collar really worked.
她说，哦，我根本没用过电击项圈
And she said, oh, I never used the shock collar.
它本来就是条好狗
He was just a great dog.
你就是那条狗
You are the dog.
我懂了，我就是那条狗
I get it. I'm the dog.
说实话，帮助那孩子让我感觉特别好
You know, it felt good helping that kid.
嗯，确实如此
Yeah, it did.
不过我在想这位室友会有什么发展
I wonder what's gonna happen with this roommate, though.
我总觉得需要有个结果才安心
I kind of feel like I need closure.
这就是这份工作最让人不爽的地方
That's what sucks about this job.
病人从来不会跟我们汇报他们的感情进展
The patients never follow up with us about their sex lives.
不过别担心，我有个小号♥
But don't worry, I have a fake Insta,
丽贝卡·冯·泡泡糖
Rebecca von Bubblegum.
咱们去偷偷关注一下
We shall stalk.
那你觉得他们有戏吗？
So you think they have a chance?
可能吧
Maybe.
或许这就是所谓的异性相吸吧
Sometimes opposites attract, I guess.
- 我得去查房♥了。- 好的，没问题
- I'm gonna round. - Yeah. Yeah, for sure.
这涉及到责任归属的问题
It's a question of liability.
作为一名医生，我需要确认
I need to know that, as a doctor,
死亡对你来说并非最佳选择
death is not the optimal outcome for you.
所以我整理了一份名单，上面都是些名人和特别的人物
So I have made a list of famous people, special people.
如果你能诚实地告诉我，你对他们的生死
And if you can tell me that you truly do not care
都漠不关心
about any of their deaths,
我就再也不提这茬了
I will never bring this up again.
- 行啊，没问题。- 让我看看你的名单
- OK, sure. - I'll take a look at your list.
不在乎，也不会在乎
Don't care, wouldn't care.
不认得他，根本不认得他
Don't know him, don't know him.
说实话，我还以为他早就去世了
I honestly thought he was already dead.