圣丹尼斯医院（2024）

好的，女士
Yes, ma'am.
而她只需要我保证不起诉他们就行了
And all she had to do was promise I wouldn't sue.
这是双赢的局面，他们和乔伊斯都获益
Everybody wins, them and Joyce.
等等，你是在说潜水乐园吗？
Wait, are you talking about Plunge Planet?
哦，天哪，我家孩子可喜欢那儿了
Oh, man, my kids are obsessed.
我早就想一个人在家清静清静了
I've been dying to stay home alone
趁蒂姆带他们去玩的时候
while Tim takes them there.
不过有水的地方，感觉应该会很滑吧
Seems like with the water, it would just be so slippery.
- 天啊，你一定要去体验一下
- Oh, my God. You have to go.
我会让所有人都给你投票的
I am telling everyone to vote for you.
- 好吧，那个，我送个尿样
- All right, well, I have some urine to attend to.
- 哦，他得用条毛巾了
- Oh, he's gonna need a towel.
- 你觉得谁更配得上这个周末假期：
- Who do you think deserves that weekend more:
你，这家医院最棒的护士
you, the best nurse in this hospital,
还是那个卡♥通♥乡巴佬？
or that little animated hillbilly?
- 当然是我。这还用说吗？
- Me. Obviously me.
- 谢了
- Thank you.
- 咱们能不能别这么假谦虚了？
And can we be done with this false modesty?
你得为自己争取
Start fighting for this.
知道吗？
You know what?
我会争取的
I will.
谢谢。多谢你推我一把
Thank you. Thanks for pushing me.
这就是朋友该做的
That's what friends do.
其实我不太在意谁赢
I don't really care who wins,
不过我还在兼♥职♥卖♥♥邮轮套餐
but I sell cruise packages on the side,
我觉得我能说服马特订一套
and I think I can talk Matt into one.
要是他没玩过滑梯，那就更好说服了
It'll be much easier if he's a slide virgin.
姓名和石头
Last name and rock.
- 就想跟你简单聊两句
- Just wanted to chat real quick.
- 你没事吧？ - 不太好
Are you OK? - Not really.
我整个周末都在湖边别♥墅♥
I spent all weekend at my lake house
捡石头在上面画画
collecting and painting rocks.
直接从河里捡出来的
Plucked them right out of the river.
- 哦
- Oh.
- 可能把整个生态系统都毁了
- Probably destroyed a whole ecosystem,
但我觉得值得，就为了让护士们知道我关心她们
but it was worth it to me to show the nurses that I care.
- 我没想到
- I guess I didn't realize
你把这事儿考虑得这么周全
how much you thought all this through.
- 话说回来，你找我有什么事？
- Anyway, what did you wanna talk to me about?
- 我就是想看看你最近怎么样
- I just wanted to see how you're holding up.
- 啊，多谢你关心，瑟琳娜
- Well, thank you for asking, Serena.
就你一个人问过我
You are the only one who has.
我的想法之前都跟你说过了
And I've told you how I feel,
不过我不介意再说一次
but I'm happy to go through it again.
- 说一遍就够了。我得走了
- Once was good. I should get going.
- 等等，我得看看你的石头
- Oh, I will need to see your rock.
就是走个过场
It's just a formality,
但不能让人说我偏心...
But I can't be seen playing favorites...
虽然你确实是我最中意的人
Even though you are my favorite.
这里有没有别人...
Is anyone...
- 拜托了。- 多谢
- Please. - Thank you.
我们刚才是不是在说晚餐的事？
Now, I believe we were discussing dinner?
- 我们刚才...哦！- 嗨
- I believe we--oh! - Hey.
- 逮到你了
- Gotcha.
- 你脑子进水了？- 怎么了？
- Have you lost your mind? - What?
你居然带水枪来参加医学会议？
You brought a squirt gun to a medical conference?
不是
No.
我带了两把水枪来
I brought two squirt guns.
咱俩要好好收拾
You and me are gonna mess up
西雅图儿童医院那帮菜鸟
those losers from Seattle Children's Hospital.
他们正在商务中心
They're in the business center,
所以他们根本不会料到这一招
so they are really not gonna see it coming.
她已经离开了
She's gone.
啊，你该不会觉得她会去通风报信吧？
Aw, you don't think she's gonna warn them, do you?
我苦心经营了这么久
I have been laying the groundwork
跟芬纳周♥旋♥了整整十年
for a decade with Fenner.
现在戒指已经从她手上摘下来了
Now the ring is off of her finger,
你却把我的计划全搞砸了
and you done blown up my spot.
我只是想找点乐子而已
I'm just trying to have a little fun here.
来吧，让大家见识见识圣丹尼斯团队的本事
Come on, let's show everybody what Team St. Denis can do.
咱俩根本不算一个团队
We are not a team.
就咱俩搭档，你却一直在拖我后腿
It's just you and me, and you're ruining it for me.
别这么激动
Take it easy.
今晚在我套房♥办的派对
The kickback tonight in my suite
绝对会让你大开眼界
Is gonna be so transformative,
到时候咱俩肯定把现在的争吵忘得一干二净
We're not even gonna remember we argued.
我才不去你那破派对呢，小丑！
I'm not coming to your stupid party, you clown.
我压根就没打算去！
I never was!
嘿，能借我一块你的石头用用吗？
Hey, can I borrow one of your rocks?
我的放车里了，不想再跑一趟
I put mine in my car, and I don't wanna schlep
就为了给乔伊斯看一眼还要特意跑回去
Back out there just to show Joyce.
没用的，她有她的一套规矩
It wouldn't work. She has a system.
得经过乔伊斯医生那关
Processed by Dr. Joyce Henderson.
这也太麻烦了吧
That seems like a lot.
给护士们带的芝士蛋糕
Cheesecake for the nurses.
芝士蛋糕啊...
Cheesecake...
哇！
Ooh!
我本来想这么说来着
Is what I would have said,
但是我们中间有个搞破坏的家伙
but there is a vandal in our midst,
所以我打算每隔10分钟就吃一片
so I'm gonna be eating one of these slices
直到真♥相♥大白为止
every 10 minutes until they are revealed.
但这芝士蛋糕也太多了吧
But that's so much cheesecake.
哦，这数量简直让人绝望
Oh, it's a haunting amount.
我也不知道这对我的身体会造成什么影响
And I don't know what it's going to do to my girl,
但你们逼得我别无选择
but you forced my hand.
哦
Oh.
10分钟倒计时现在开始
10 minutes starts now.
有人知道是谁扔的石头吗？
Does anyone know who threw the rock out?
我对布鲁斯的事感到愧疚吗？
Do I feel bad about what happened with Bruce?
完全不会
Not at all.
我已经得偿所愿了
I got what I wanted.
我在自己房♥间
I'm in my room.
还有啊，这制冰机噪音太大了
And yeah, the ice machine is too loud,
底下这个按键失灵了
and this bottom button doesn't work,
所以我得按上面那个键，大概68次
so I gotta press the top one, like, 68 times
才能调回《仓储淘宝大战》节目
to get back to "Storage Wars,"
但这一切都值得，因为这就是我梦寐以求的生活
but it's worth it because this is the dream.
又来了
Not again.
你冰还不够多啊！
You got enough damn ice!
哦，我...我真的很抱歉
Oh, I'm...I'm sorry.
...
...
你心里憋着火呢，莱纳德
- There is a bitterness to you, Leonard.
你们不知道全貌
- You can't know that for sure.
所以我们遇到麻烦了
- So we have a little bit of an issue.
没想到很多人都
Turns out that a lot of people
投票给马特选了温柔之心
are voting for Matt for Gentle Heart.
呵。没这么简单
- Aw. - You'd think "aw."
但可悲的是事实如此，懂吗？
But here's the sad part, OK?
我觉得很多投票
I get the sense that a lot of the votes
这些评论都带着讽刺的意味
are, like, sarcastic.
人们都在说：'哇，马特太厉害了'
People are like, oh, yeah, Matt's so great,
你懂我意思吧？
You know?
这就像是霸凌式投票
It's like bullying votes.
马特被人欺负了？
Matt's getting bullied?
这太让人难过了。对吧？
That is sad. Right?
所以我们要确保每个人都真正遵守
So let's just make sure that everyone is honoring
这个奖项的宗旨，你明白吗
the spirit of the awards, you know,
真正体现了关怀承诺的人
whoever exemplifies commitment to care, for real.
没错
Yeah.
其实我本想投你一票的
Actually, I was gonna vote for you,