圣丹尼斯医院（2024）

但现在，我想我应该投票给马特以示支持
But now I think I should vote for Matt to support him,
你知道吗？——嗯，你猜怎么着？
You know? - Mm, you know what?
我认为我不应插手干预
I don't think that I should be interfering
遵循民♥主♥程序，听从你的内心
with the democratic process, so whatever your gut says.
听起来你心里想的是我
Sounds like your gut says me.
我的直觉告诉我是马特
- My gut says Matt.
你说你的直觉指向我
- You said your gut said me.
回去工作吧
Get back to work.
如果你问我这儿有多少石头
- If you'd asked me how many rocks we had out here,
我会说，嗯，大概十亿？
I would have said, hmm, I don't know, a billion?
结果是零
Turns out, it's zero.
许多卵石，几簇青草
A lot of pebbles, some grass,
数量多得令人不安的避孕套
a disturbing number of condoms.
哎呀！
Ugh!
没有石头
No rocks.
- 嗨，在忙什么呢？
- Hey there. What are you up to?
- 我需要一块石头。- 哦，做什么用？
- I need a rock. - Oh, what for?
建造？装饰？燃料？
Construction? Decoration? Fuel?
它只是一块石头
- It just has to be a rock.
这是为护士感恩周准备的东西
It's this thing for Nurse Appreciation Week.
哥们儿，真希望有……
Man, I wish there was
礼品店员工感恩周
a Gift Shop Employee Appreciation Week.
或许你该庆幸自己还没被iPad替换掉
Yeah, maybe just be happy you haven't been replaced
with an iPad yet.
哦，抱歉
Oh, sorry.
只是你刚才真的很烦人
It's just, you were being really annoying.
我把这些放进花盆里
I put these in the planters.
不错的本土风情，我心想
Nice local touch, I thought.
本可以给她一个
Could have given her one,
但她非得跟我大谈政♥治♥不可
but she had to get all political on me.
* 我就是来跳舞的，尽情摇摆 *
- * I came to dance, dance, dance *
- 哈喽！
- Hello!
我原本在这里上名声挺好的
I used to have a good reputation at this thing.
可现在倒好，因为布鲁斯，我成了那个讨厌鬼
But now, thanks to Bruce, I'm the jerk
都怪布鲁斯
because of Bruce
还有我...
and me...
好吧，主要还是我的问题
well, mostly me.
eat crow serve up crow：字面意思吃乌鸦，指“被迫承认自己错了、出丑、丢脸”
eat humble pie，字面意思吃谦卑派，指“不得不低头、道歉、认错”
听说有人要吃一大份打脸套餐
I heard somebody's serving up some crow
还附带一份认错小菜
With a side dish of humble pie.
那边是布里奶酪
...There's Brie over there.
哦，不不不不
...Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
有人看到布鲁斯了吗？
Has anyone seen Bruce?
哇哦！
...Whoo!
好了，咱们出发！
All right, let's go!
别进那个房♥间！
Do not go in there!
哇哦！王牌大贱谍
Whoo! Ace Ventura.
大家还记得吗？
You guys remember?
不过说真的，暂时别进那个卫生间
But seriously, stay out of that bathroom for a little bit.
他到底喝了多少？
How much has he had to drink?
大概喝了两杯白葡萄酒吧
I think, like, two glasses of white wine.
这是怎么回事？布鲁斯
What is this? Bruce.
啊？
Huh?
你今天吃东西了吗？
Did you have anything to eat today?
好啊，现在他开始关心我吃没吃饭了
OK, now he's interested in my food intake.
哦，你可真够慢的
Oh, you took your time.
没有，郑重声明，罗恩，我已经四天没吃正经饭了
No, for the record, Ron, I have not had solids in four days.
这就叫为泳池做好准备
That's called getting pool ready.
哦
哦
这让你觉得比我高人一等吗？
Does that make you feel superior to me?
- 怎么说呢，嗯，有点吧。我的意思是...
- I mean, well, kind of. I mean--
- 这个水枪是个不错的点子
- The water guns were a good idea.
我们本来能轻松碾压那些儿科医生书呆子
We would have creamed those pediatrician nerds.
- 基思
- Keith.
嘿，兄弟。- 哦
Hey, buddy. - Oh.
你好啊，伙计
Hi there, friend. [chuckles]
看来你还没带你那宝贝去见乔伊斯
Looks like you haven't taken that bad boy to Joyce yet.
呃，其实是个姑娘
Well, it's a girl.
确实没有，我一直忙得不可开交
And no, I've been pretty swamped.
正准备过去呢
Heading over now.
哦，能给我看看吗？
Oh, can I see it?
能告诉我为什么吗？
May I ask why?
就借我用一分钟
I just need it for a minute.
哦
Oh.
求你了基思，我必须要用
Come on, Keith, I need it.
可这个是我的东西啊
But this one's mine.
- 基思，把你的石头给我
- Keith, give me your rock.
- 快交出来。- 喂！
Give it. - Hey!
- 别争了，哥们。- 哇！
- Just let it go, man. - Whoa!
- 喂！- 哇！
- Hey! - Whoa!
他是不是在骚扰你？
Is he bothering you?
- 没有没有
- No, no.
哦，基思就是闹着玩的
Oh, Keith was just kidding around.
- 这种时候还开玩笑？
- At a time like this?
好吧
OK.
我不能再吃芝士蛋糕了
I cannot keep eating cheesecake.
所以如果今天下午5点前没人来我办公室
So if someone doesn't come into my office by 5:00 PM today,
这周就全部作废了
the whole week is canceled.
...
...
好了马特，你能搞定的
OK, Matt, you got this.
纳丁的化验结果应该快出来了
Nadine's labs should be back soon,
大概一两个小时就能出来
maybe an hour or two.
你就待在这儿，握着她的手
So just stay here and squeeze her hand
如果她肠道开始抽搐
if her bowels start to seize.
明白
Copy that.
我手心出汗了。这可不是在道歉
My hands are clammy. That's not an apology.
只是陈述事实。- 这个也明白了
It's just a fact. - Copy that as well.
- 噢，噢！
- Oh, oh!
- 眼不见为净。真聪明
- Out of sight, out of mind. Smart.
- 嗯
- Hmm.
我喜欢马特，他是个好孩子
I love Matt. He's a great kid.
但我需要亲手葬送他，明白吗？
But I buried him, OK?
我这样做不单单是为了自己
And I didn't just do it for me.
我是为了正义、为了女权主义，还有我的孩子们...
I did it for justice and feminism, and my kids--
还有水上乐园那档子事，你懂的？
the whole water park thing, right?
说白了，我这么做有太多理由了
I mean, I did it for a lot of reasons.
哇，恭喜你啊！
Wow, congratulations!
天啊！
Oh, my God!
检查结果出来了：不是肠胃的问题
Well, tests came back: not bowel issues.
原来她是怀孕了
Turns out, she's pregnant.
嗯，我明白你的意思，瓦尔
Yeah, I can see that, Val.
哦，你这贴心的孩子，你这贴心又幸运的好孩子
Oh, you sweet boy, you sweet, blessed boy.
真希望能好好报答你的恩情
I wish there was some way to repay you.
哎呀，别客气
Aw.
我肯定是天底下最幸运的护士了
Must be the luckiest nurse around.
是不是啊，我们的小马特宝贝？
Isn't that right, baby Matt?
孩子他妈是这么叫他的
That's what the mom's calling him.
看看这名字能不能叫得开，不过...
We'll see if it sticks, but...
都已经写在出生证明上了，估计是改不了了
It's on the birth certificate, so probably.
我去给你倒杯水来
Let's get you some water.
得了吧
Oh, please.
别装模作样了，德尼罗
Drop the act, De Niro.
你不用假装关心我
You don't have to pretend like you...you care about me.
你一整天都表现得明明白白
You've made it very clear all day.
你压根儿就不在乎
You couldn't give a bleep.
- 别这样。- 不，你才别这样！
- Come on. - No, you come on!
说好的搭档情谊哪儿去了？
Whatever happened to wingman, huh?
想当初你我二人
You and me,
叱咤会场的风云人物，广结人脉！
kings of the conference, making friends!
- 你可是派对的主人
- You're hosting a party.
这里都是人，你正在结交新朋友